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No. 427
The Team Meets the Team (Part 1)
---
Part One.
A man sat in a large, empty kitchen. The moon's dull blue light attacked the floors and pristine counters, and then fell on this man, whose mind was so lost in thought that the muscles in his face relaxed completely and left his mouth hanging slightly open. He breathed an airy sigh before wringing his gloved hands, which comforted him with their resounding squeaking. A door slammed somewhere in the abysmally large fortress. Shortly after, the kitchen was stormed by a bellowing Soldier.
"The kitchen is not a lounge, nor your private quarters, officer" the soldier, dressed entirely and short not even of his shovel, marched to his startled victim and continued. "Furthermore, you are a disgrace to your own line of work! I do not need quacks on this team, I need men who are capable of sleep and of excellent performance the very second they open their eyes!"
"Herr Soldier, wh-"
"What is it, officer?" The soldier interjected. The Medic trembled from the slight breeze that snaked through the room. He had left his coat in his quarters.
"May I ask as to vhy you are not only beautifully awake, but fully dressed as well? It is zhe first hour of zhe day."
The Soldier looked at the Medic as if he had insulted his country. "One must always be prepared!" He continued bellowing on his way to a cupboard. "If one of the BLU scum come walking in-"
"You know perfectly well zhat zhey cannot, no one can leave after a ceasf-"
"-then they will not have the pleasure of maiming me or my RESTING comrades" The Soldier poured himself a cup of water, eliminated it in one swing, and proceeded to frown condescendingly at his teammate. "As to why I am here in this kitchen, it is because I was sorely dehydrated. Carry on, officer." As he turned to go, the Medic called him to a stop. The Soldier turned and faced a haggard man.
"Vhe are zhe only ones left here, Herr Soldier. Zhere are no more doctors, und zhere are no more soldiers. RED is mad if it thinks it can shove the two of us into any more skirmishes with BLU. Zhey have at least three doctors, und I have given up counting their blasted Demomen." The Medic propped his elbows on his knees and ran both hands over his graying hair. He then stood and straightened up to his full height.
"Zhe respawn chambers activate only during battle. The RED dummkopfs that tried, charged and ready, to storm BLU after hours have all ceased to exist. It is clear by now that vhe are simply not receiving reinforcements. Respect my wishes, Herr Soldier. Do not attempt to ambush zhem at night because they are things in this world I would much rather do than to defend this fort against Scot bombers with a Blutsauger."
The Soldier grunted uneasily and shoved his shovel behind his back.
"Only maggots disobey orders."
With that, they both retreated to their respective rooms. Neither man slept.
---
The next day, the remaining RED positioned themselves near a strip of land several miles from their base. Protect it, The Announcer said. The Medic gathered the last of his equipment as the woman's shrill voice trilled in his ears, and followed the remaining RED Soldier. The Medic quickened his pace as they neared their destination.
"Have you taken all of zhe equipment?"
The Soldier panted after him, carrying sacks whose contents protruded from the fabric in strange and jagged patterns. "Yes...doctor..." He stopped to catch his breath, surveyed the point they were to defend, and continued.
"Though vhy vhe are asked to defend such a crude location..."
"Do not question orders, doctor. You do not see me questioning yours."
Several abandoned and half constructed buildings littered one side of a canyon wall. The closer RED moved into the area, the louder the muffled explosions threatened them from a pair of gates a considerable distance away. "Verdammt, Herr Soldier. A brisk walk is all it takes for zhe madmen to take...zhis", said the Medic, gesturing disgustedly at what they were defending. The Soldier made to berate his colleague for his un-American attitude before he heard the doctor's muffled chuckling. "Set the traps, doc?", he asked him. "Ja, Herr Soldier. May zhis be their most memorable stroll."
For weeks, RED had been outnumbered by BLU so much so that it nearly shamed Medic to tears to hear from half of their drunken enemies that the other half were soundly sleeping off their Scrumpy in their base. They had learned, and for Soldier, it was learned the hard way, that direct combat had become synonymous with suicide. Therefore, they made sure to gather as much equipment as they (namely, Soldier) could carry, and lay only the dirtiest traps for the brazen BLU with the time they were given to set them up.
The Medic trembled slightly as The Announcer declared the last sixty seconds of his guaranteed survival, and made hasty adjustments to their simple traps. The two sat on opposite ends of the canyon. The Soldier sat on the roof of the highest building. The Medic gripped his instruments, concealed by outcrops, mere feet from the rattling gates.
They whined and clanged. The Medic was never as close to the gates as he was then. The relative safety he was assured by the large, concealing stone outcrops and his delicate traps did nothing to stop the trembling of his fingers, the tightening in his chest, or the dryness in his mouth. How ridiculous, he thought, for a field doctor to take such an active role in combat. He wondered briefly when the explosion of adrenaline in his system would ebb enough to allow him to operate again.
Five seconds. He figured that the cogs would move now.
Four seconds. He heard them start, and for some unspeakable reason, his rather insignificant premonition calmed him.
Three seconds.
Two.
Ein.
In seconds, the gates slid open, followed immediately by many familiar popping sounds.
"Jump, schweinhunds"
As expected, a number of sticky bombs propelled the Demomen straight out of the gate at a speed that did not allow them to register the barrage of needles that struck them in flight. Four Demomen landed, pierced, halfway to the scattered buildings that RED was defending. The Medic moved and hid himself and his strung needle guns behind another outcrop, wary of an enemy soldier and a pair of doctors who stumbled out after their Demomen.
"Zhe dummkopf und his frauleins", he chided.
The RED Medic bit his lip. The solution in the syringes was too slow. He realized too late that the damned Scots had closed the gap too soon. He only prayed that his teammate would see the real threat before firing at the irresistible decoys.
An explosion rocked the canyon, and debris spread quickly. The BLU Soldier and the two doctors quickly retreated out of sight at the scene of the Demomen's death. The Medic swore, gripped his needle guns, and hoisted them onto yet another cross of rope closer to their control point. He waited.
The RED Soldier waited as well. He was used to blowing up Scots. He was also used to insulting his remaining enemies after he had done so, which was even more entertaining. Lastly, he was used to giving away his position in such a matter and leaving his only colleague to die alone. However, today would be a good day. "Wait 'til the Medic sees this", he boasted in a low whisper. "I will destroy the maggots myself, and then my checkup hours will be cut in half. Only five hour checkups", he sighed.
The Medic grew anxious. Nothing was happening for longer than he would have liked, and it was maddening. "Eight of you, always eight" His hair stuck to his forehead and a drop of sweat fell away from his jaw. Four Demomen. One Soldier. Two Medics. One was missing. He thrust his back against the stone he hid behind. He was almost giddy that he checked himself in time. He laughed gaily and rubbed his eyes behind his glasses. The Medic enjoyed the wind's strange, gentle hiss. When he looked up, it was into the barrel of the Ambassador.
---
"Come on, come on", the Soldier said. He was ready to get his hands dirty, and the BLU cowards were rudely depriving him of that pleasure. He was no lover of guerilla tactics, but this was ridiculous. "Come out, you miserable excuses for maggots...", he stopped his mumbling and grinned as a BLU Soldier and Medic stepped out from behind a building. He ignored a pistol shot that sounded somewhere to his left. The BLU Soldier fired several stray rockets. One screamed past the RED Soldier as he lay flat on the roof. His fingers and toes curled in anticipation. The wild and barely contained sparks that eased out of the enemy Medic's medigun were not lost on him. What a treat, he thought ecstatically. Terminating the enemy doctor before or even after his charge gave him a particular pleasure. "Fancy tricks are for magicians, son, not warriors", he said darkly.
Merely a screaming distance away from the conflict, the RED Medic sat still and silent. He wore an almost peaceful face, and his eyes had closed. His chest, however, still rose and fell in erratic patterns.
"Do not humor me, doctor, I am well aware that I missed."
Cigarette smoke forced an indignant cough from the Medic, but his eyes remained closed.
"I do not wish to kill you, after all." The man's voice soothed the doctor. The Medic was tied by his hands and feet, and unable to move his dislocated jaw, but the Spy's voice soothed him. Was it because he was so used to his partner's grunts and exclamations that he found this man's slow drawls almost musical? He opened his eyes. His attacker rubbed his hands together, as if to squeeze the blood out of the black gloves. The Spy then knelt down next to the RED Medic, careful to avoid dragging his coat on the ground, and breathed some more smoke into his face.
"I see you are not surprised", the Spy said, and with ill hid disappointment. "But that does not surprise me. To my knowledge, I replaced a BLU doctor. Why BLU needed three of those, I could not fathom. But now I see." He took a long drag and continued. "You are a clever group. So tell me, doctor, where are the rest? I see the Soldier on the roof, and you. Tell me where your remaining teammates are and I may even give you a chance to save them." The Spy left the cigarette in his mouth and listened.
The Medic frowned. How annoying, he thought. He took care to speak slowly to avoid further damage to his jaw. "Zhere is no one e-"
"You disappoint me, doctor."
"Ask your teammates, zhere are no othe-ahh!" The Spy gripped the doctor's chin.
"I am a busy man, doctor. You can either tell me, or I can kill you." The hand gripped tighter, and the Spy waited patiently as the doctor's face contacted in pain. The BLU Spy leaned close to the Medic and whispered in his ear, "Or we can wait here until after ceasefire and I can truly kill you." He grinned as the doctor registered this and let out a strained cry. "Nein!", he breathed. "I cannot leave zhe Soldier alone for you schweinhunds, I cannot." The Medic rambled in a sudden panic. Each rocket that made contact behind him pushed his panic to a higher peak.
"I do not care for zhe company", the Medic howled over the rising din. "RED does not take care of its workers. Zhey have lost my respect long ago." The doctor uttered a stuttering gasp as a charged shot rang through the arid air. He imagined the monstrously glowing BLU pair charging toward his doomed comrade. He refused to hope that his teammate would survive an Ubercharge alone.
"Kill me, Herr Spy."
The cigarette dropped.
"Do it now", he said. The BLU Spy opened his mouth and looked at the doctor incredulously as the conflict behind them grew louder. "This point is yours, dummkopf! There is nothing else we can-" The Medic stopped. The noise had ceased.
A gruff voice tore through the silence. The RED Soldier boasted triumphantly about maggots and America and glory and a thousand other things as his Medic, separated from him by nothing but a slab of rock, attempted to cry out, if only to vehemently congratulate him and to order his own punishment to rid himself of his lack of faith. The Spy sneered and stopped him.
"Interesting charade, doctor. Now", he said, gripping the Medic's jaw again. The pain drew sharp shapes and ripples into the doctor's vision. "Today, as much as it pains me to do so, I must end your life after ceasefire." The Spy tilted his head thoughtfully. "Or perhaps BLU may even be open to accepting a prisoner of w-", he stopped and stared back at the gates. The Medic followed suit and immediately wished he hadn't. "Mein Gott. Even the time it takes to reanimate your men is a quarter of ours", he said weakly, as the Demomen returned, destroying his traps on their way to the RED Soldier. The Medic hurriedly stuck his head from behind the outcrop. The Spy watched. From his position, he could easily make out both remaining Soldiers on either side of a small structure. The RED Medic saw the second BLU doctor first, and the RED Soldier had already begun firing.
"ZHE SECOND IS ALSO CHARGED! RETREA-"
The Spy's swift kick to the abdomen silenced the Medic. He rolled out from behind the stone, tore the binds on his feet and returned the favor. The RED Soldier spotted his doctor and ran for him with no spare thought. He was followed by the charged Soldier and Medic from behind, and by four unscathed Demomen to his right. The RED Medic disregarded his pains completely and yelled in a cracked voice:
"DO IT, HERR SOLDIER!"
"WE DO NOT SURRENDER", the Soldier answered, even as a critical rocket and an innumerable number of pipe bombs surrounded the man. It was only when he recognized the blue shimmer behind his doctor that he fired one miserable rocket. A mere second after the projectile left its launcher, the Soldier's body flew wildly in all directions across the canyon base.
"Move, you idiot!", yelled the Spy. The Medic shoved the man out of the way of the rocket and leaped into its path himself.
***************
The BLU Spy leaned against the eventful slab of rock and watched as a dismembered RED hand faded and disappeared. He hoped that he would meet this doctor again. He hoped that he would again meet the man who not only asked for death, but smiled blissfully in its face.
---
Several hours after the end of this mission, the RED base lost its silence courtesy of the unceremonious gagging of its Soldier. He stumbled out of the Respawn room and sat in the Medic's waiting room, as routine demanded. The Medic had always been informed that he had the longest respawn time out of anyone who has ever worked for RED. When he left the Respawn room, he noted the time. Three hours.
He strolled through the waiting room past the Soldier. He stopped at the door of one examination room and turned to look at the Soldier curiously. Peering at the signup sheet, he recognized the man's large, thick signature.
"I do not think zhat zhere should be a ceremony to announce your entrance, ja?" The Soldier furrowed his brow questioningly.
"Y-you mean you're ready, doc?"
"Nein, I am standing here for my pleasure. Come in vhen you are ready, Herr Soldier." The Medic entered the exam room, followed immediately by the Soldier, who, in one swift motion, came in, shut the door, threw off his helmet, and sat on the exam table. He sat rigidly, and his eyes were moist.
"Vhat's zhis, another respawn symptom?", the Medic noted. The Soldier shook his head.
"No, doc. You... just... you seein' me the very moment you exit the reanimation unit...it's just...so American. Today is a good day."
"I agree, Herr Soldier." The doctor performed the routine check on both of them to make absolute sure that all the important bits were there.
"We failed our mission, officer", the Soldier said. The Medic hesitated for a moment.
"But we gave those maggots one hell of a show", he added. The doctor exhaled, and even smiled briefly. More importantly, they had come back together. He would sooner destroy his medigun than to admit to anyone his uneasiness in being left alone in battle. He had been the last "kill" for too many missions for his liking.
"I understand that you have information concerning the enemy, doctor."
"I don't unde-.. ah! Of course. Zhey have a replacement for one of zheir Medics. A Sp-"
"SPY?", the Soldier yelled. "I didn't think those worms would stoop so low. But to hire a spy...this could be a problem...", he rubbed his chin as the Medic measured his blood pressure. "Is he American?"
"Nein, he sounded European", the Medic mused. "Perhaps French." The Soldier burst into gruff giggles. "Then we have absolutely nothing to worry about", he declared, and slapped the Medic's shoulder roughly. The doctor smiled feebly.
"Of course, Herr Soldier, of course."
After they agreed that they were put back together coherently, they went their separate ways. There was little entertainment in the base save for a few chess boards, an old radio whose knobs jammed constantly, and whatever books that were authorized to be read. On many nights, the Medic found himself rereading his medical textbooks and notes. He tried to stay away from the notes tonight. They contained detailed records of every member of RED that the doctor had examined during his stay at the company. He did not want to be reminded of those who were in a better place than he. The Medic considered taking a stroll through the base, but the emptiness and silence did not disappoint, for he soon felt very oppressed and alone. He bid goodnight to the Soldier, and went to bed.
The RED Medic awoke in the middle of the night. He left to see the Soldier, but he was not in his room. He panicked and searched the base, and at last found him sitting where he left him, on a ragged sofa next to the silent radio. The doctor sat next to him and motioned for the Soldier to give him his arm. He gripped a slender needle and cleared his throat.
"Herr Soldier, we are the playthings of a dying company", he said bluntly. The doctor rolled the Soldier's sleeve up to his elbow and disinfected the skin above a thick vein. "It is time for us to go. Zhe respawn chambers have failed tonight at last" he whispered excitedly. The Soldier said nothing. The needle penetrated his skin and the syringe emptied its contents. "Say hallo to the others. I will come late, as always." With that, he detached a small capsule from a thin string around his neck, placed it into his mouth, swallowed, and leaned back on the sofa. His brow and the corners of his lips lifted blissfully and his eyes slowly shut.
They then snapped all the way open at the too familiar clang of metal that signaled the start of the day. "Nein... how can it be", he gasped. He felt his hands and his chest and his knees and rubbed his eyes. "Verdammt. Es war ein Traum...ein Traum...a dream..."
*****************
"Permission to point out how horrible you appear, officer."
"Not now, Herr Soldier."
"Then permission to take over kitchen duty."
"Vhy?...", Medic started. Oh, he realized. The omelet was not an omelet anymore. He disposed of the burnt thing and handed the pan to the Soldier.
"Omelets are for sissies", he muttered, and pulled out a box of pancake batter. The Medic sat down at one of the large tables and rubbed his eyes again. What a wonderfully horrible dream. Or was it the other way around? He played it again in his mind regardless, and found his fingers brushing against the flimsy string that held the capsule around his neck. It was an expensive thing, this pill. He had plans to use the smuggled treasure should he be taken prisoner during battle by the enemy, but with each passing day, it begged to be swallowed away from the influence of respawn.
"Medic."
"Ja?"
"There is a letter in the mail. A company letter. I figured I'd wait until you were-" The Medic wasted no time in retrieving this letter. It was, after all, the first they had received in weeks. He fumbled with it and tore the envelope impatiently, ignoring the food that was laid out for him. "To our vonderful employees", the Medic read aloud, "Zhere will be a number of changes zhat you must be made aware of. First and foremost, your contracts have been modified..."
The Soldier looked up from his food. "Continue, doctor", he said, and grew annoyed with the Medic's silence. "Herr Soldier", he said quietly. "Zhey are extending our contract indefinitely."
"Oh. Alright."
It was at that comment that the Medic realized that the Soldier would be content to fight until the end of time, if he were given such pleasure. The doctor did not share this aspiration. Not at all. Nevertheless, it was this same work that he was expected to carry out. He put his hand over his mouth and let the letter fall onto the table.
"Quit the stalling, officer. I am just as excited as you at the honor of continuing our marvelous work, but that is certainly not the entirety of the letter's content."
The Medic frowned, but continued anyway. It was the least he could do for the Soldier before he left him. He had at last planned his "departure" from the company, and it would be today. Painful or no, this letter settled the matter. The doctor continued.
"A train vill arrive on zhe first of March und supply zhe base with additional supplies und men."
The Medic stared."...und men", he said again. He read the sentence again. Then he read it one more time. And another, this time just to hear how it sounded. The Soldier thumped his knuckles on the table loudly. The Medic continued, his voice breaking. "...Zhere vill be two on zhe first train und one more on zhe second, which vill arrive a week later, und...und zhen...."
The Soldier grumbled and snatched the letter from the Medic to read it himself. The doctor laughed. The sound was foreign to him, and a bit alarming, but he did not care. He put the capsule around his neck into his medicine bag, where it belonged. The Soldier finished reading and moved the letter aside.
"I agree, doc. I find it positively laughable that they are sending more troops. I don't know about you, but I believe that we are doing just fine under these circumst-" He stopped speaking suddenly and cocked his head to one side. The doctor heard it too; it was a knock. A knock on the main entrance of the base. The Soldier jumped out of his seat and thundered to the door as the doctor trailed behind. The RED Medic heard the door open, and swore to remember forever the first greetings of his new teammates.
"Howdy!"
"Yo, I smell pancakes."
---
"Place of birth?"
"Boston. No really , doc, I'd love some pancakes right now."
"Not before your examination. Family?"
"Ma, seven brothers. Haven't seen dad for a while. Okay okay, but AFTER, can I have pancakes?" The boy winced as the doctor finished his vaccinations. "Wait, why the hell do ya gotta know about my family?"
"I was merely wondering what sort of environment would push a boy as young as yourself to enter this line of work", the Medic said, and put away his equipment. He sighed. "To be frank, I am not surprised..."
"Hey that ain't no reason why I'm here. 'Sides, you ain't seen me at work yet." He straightened his cap and leapt off of the exam table. It was at that moment that the Soldier slammed open the exam room door and pointed an angry finger at the newcomer.
"DOCTOR, WE HAVE A SITUATION."
"Nein, Soldier, zhis one is healthy zhis time." Ignorant of the doctor's diagnosis, the Soldier stormed toward the Medic, forcing the man a step back with his violent cloud of indignation.
"This is NOT a PRESCHOOL, Medic." He then faced the boy. "And YOU will march your preadolescent hindquarters back to the train station and wait for your mama to bring your sippy cup while the real men wage war!", he bellowed. The boy whipped a bat out of his bag, tipped the Soldier's helmet and looked the enraged man in the eyes.
"Make me, Private chucklenuts."
The Soldier roared a menacing battle cry, swat the hand away and lunged at the boy, who quickly jumped on the table in the small room and mockingly swung his bat at the air. The doctor pulled him, whining and kicking, off of it by his ear as the Soldier made another violent lunge. The doctor watched curiously as the second newcomer ran in and stopped the Soldier's arm. The stocky man sighed in relief and adjusted his collar. "Whoa, there. If this here's a dispute over our right to be here, then you can look at both our papers." He offered his own documents and motioned to the boy's on Medic's desk.
The Soldier ripped his arm from the man's grasp and snatched his papers. He scanned them for a moment and thrust them back.
"Eleven hundred PHD's would not excuse this insubordination, private," he said menacingly.
"Pardon me, sir, but don't it make sense to test our mettle in combat before sendin' us home?", the man asked. The boy slipped past the doctor's grip during this exchange and slowly crept toward the door. As he poised to run, the Soldier reached out and grabbed him by the same ear; his attention still on the other man.
"OW, WHAT THE F-"
"Maggot, I am not finished with you. And YOU," He peered down at the man's papers. "...Engineer." He hesitated. "What could an engineer possibly contribute to this fine team?", the Soldier demanded. The Engineer straightened himself and grinned at the Soldier and Medic as Scout finally regained possession of his ear.
"Have you got any problems?", he asked, turning to the doctor. The Medic cleared his throat stiffly and looked in any other direction. "We may have certain practical problems..." The Engineer smiled and clapped his hands together.
"Then that's why I'm here."
The atmosphere in the base was anything but relaxed. Soldier hovered incessantly over Engineer's shoulder as he demonstrated the sizable upgrade to the Soldier's and Medic's primitive grenade pits and needle gun mounts. The Soldier had become so engrossed that he had no objections to watching the Engineer toil away in his newly converted workplace until sleep had robbed them both of consciousness. The doctor faced a similar, and yet very different, scenario. How strange, he thought, that the constant din of rockets and pipe bombs he was subjected to on a near daily basis did not bother him as much as did one boy's incessant babble. His pounding head was soothed considerably by the gentle hum of the company treadmill, and the rhythmic steps the boy made on it for the past three hours.
Medic was unsure of what to make of the pair. Soldier was examining the other, so that had left him with the strange boy. He did not have nearly enough strength to prop a rocket launcher against his shoulder, much less survive it's recoil, and had little knowledge that would aid him on the field other than 'dodge, point and shoot'. And most frighteningly, he had little gear on him other than a bat, two guns, a headset, and a can of soda. His apparent ability to run for extended periods was his only defense, and even then, a weak one. Perhaps Soldier was right, he thought. Maybe they should send the boy home.
"Nod off again, doc?" The silence unsettled him.
"DOC!"
The doctor gasped at the rude awakening, shifted in his seat and frowned. "Why don't you take a break...in fact, rest up. Tomorrow vill be your first battle and I'll be damned if you can dodge rockets with heavy eyelids."
"I get to choose my room though, yea?"
"Ja, just g-"
He didn't need any further persuasion; the boy ran off happily. The doctor sat a little longer at his desk, propping his head up with his hands and struggling to remember a thought that had teased him in his half sleep. He thought of the boy, and the thought nearly resurfaced. Nearly. The Medic sighed and gathered his personal belongings. He made for his room by walking through halls that, despite their emptiness, did not suppress him quite as much as before. He thought of the eager Engineer and the tireless boy, and briefly marveled at their youth - that foolishness which placed them in the hands of Reliable Excavation Demolition. He rubbed his stiff neck.
**************
Medic and Soldier lead the boy to the day's battle ground. The Soldier prodded him roughly in the back occasionally to keep him moving - or to relive his newfound indignation with every mumbled 'Ow!' as the Medic explained their situation.
"BLU has gotten control of an area of great importance to RED - an easily rebuilt outpost near zhe route of a supply train zhat carries equipment for both bases. If we do not seize zhe area as well as zhe territory near it- are you listening?"
"Yeah yeah, go on, doc." The boy moved away from the Soldier and closer to the Medic, rubbing his arm.
"Herr Soldier, bitte. Do not give me more reason to postpone your visits to zhe infirmary. Now, again - if we do not seize the area before zhey do, it is very likely zhat zhey will attempt to capture or ransack the train as well. Do not look so surprised," he told the frowning youth. "We would easily do zhe same."
Their destination, as Medic had mentioned, was a small area behind the canyon that had towered over the dilapidated outpost buildings on the other side. A lone gate was already set into a stone entrance that was now the only entrance into the old control point. As the three mercenaries made themselves familiar with the terrain, the Engineer ran past them as fast as his bulky toolbox allowed him. The Soldier grinned giddily as the doctor prepared his medigun and frowned at them both.
Sixty seconds.
The boy had managed to climb on a protruding rock that listed precariously to one side over the gates. The Medic caught him fiddling with that suspicious drink again, and made sure to remember to check his blood sugar levels later. The Engineer and Soldier huddled together over some obscured contraption that had begun to bleep rhythmically.
Thirty Seconds.
"Yo, the Announcer always quacks this loud? Geez," said the boy.
"Quiet, dummkopf! You will not even hear zhe gates open over your own drivel." The Medic then turned to the Soldier, who had been running to and from the Engineer with what Medic dismissed as various metallic junk. "Herr Soldier, we must prepare!"
"Not yet, Doc. Y'all can relax" said the Engineer. His perfectly calm tone infuriated the doctor. The Engineer suddenly smiled in thought, and interrupted the doctor's impending outburst.
"Y'all ever had an Engineer on the team?", he asked. The Medic stopped mid-thought and slowly shook his head.
"Nein. We are fighters, not toy makers," he said, gesturing to the Engineer, who laughed good naturedly.
Ten Seconds.
"I bet you'd like this here toy", he chuckled. A BLU Solider and Demoman approached the gate from the other side. Their mocking pounds on the metal seemed to provoke not only all of RED, but also their "toy", whose excited bleeping from under Engineer's swinging wrench invited an uncontrollable trembling in the boy. He remained crouched above the gates and tapped his bat to the wall of the canyon in rhythm to the bleeps. The Engineer finally stepped back from his work, allowing the Medic to see it for the first time.
Five.
The Medic inhaled sharply, and the Engineer's grin became impossibly wide.
"Might wanna cover your ears, doc; you ain't exactly far away", he chuckled. The Medic didn't even hear the gates open. He didn't see the BLU step in. Why, mere seconds after the Engineer's warning, were there bits and slabs of flesh providing for them a stunning red carpet was beyond Medic's capacity to understand. As the shock waned, he was aware that there could not have been a more perfect form of revenge.
The Soldier dragged the happy doctor to the open entrance. "Excellent work, Engie. Now let's uproot the rest of the maggots before they run screaming to their mamas!" The Medic stopped at the entrance, earning a well resonating "COME ON!" from the Soldier. The boy, still rubbing his ears, leapt down and stood next to the Engineer.
"It cannot be so easy; zhey are expecting us. How will we avoid zheir traps? We do not have spare Demomen to fling at zhem." The Soldier chuckled briefly at the memory of that last bit and abruptly focused on the boy, whose head was thrown upwards to catch the remaining contents of a bright can.
"WHAT IS THIS MUTINY? I DO NOT PUT YOU ON THE BATTLEFIELD TO GUZZLE SOFT DRINKS AND PRIMP AROUND WHILE THE REAL MEN DISCUSS EMERGENCY BATTLE STRATEGIES AFTER THEY HA-"
The Soldier stopped only when the boy had charged through the entrance and returned after a full minute with a bloody bat.
"BLU Doc an' Demo, down...", he panted, doubling over. "Pair 'o Demos on either...either side of cliff...one hidin' in building...sticky bombs on walls..." he added. He exhaled loudly and folded his arms. "Gimme a sec and I'll get the rest for you geezers."
No one even considered giving him the pleasure, as everyone, even the Engineer, charged through and, in record time, eliminated every BLU in sight. Dinner that day was louder than ever in Medic's or Soldier's memory. In fact, the Soldier contributed to the cheering and whooping more than anyone, making sure to toast to the day's events as often as he could.
"...and then we gutted their last Medic and painted the canyon with him. And THEN, Engie gave the honorary shotgun blast into that Demo's face, and the point was OURS!", Soldier bellowed. "But YOU", he continued, patting the boy's back enthusiastically, "without your superior scouting abilities, we would have come out in more pieces than we would have preferred, son." Before the Soldier had a chance to, the Medic raised his glass.
"I think it is clear what I must finally put under 'position' in your papers, Scout", he said. The Scout whooped and clinked his glass against the doctor's, swallowing that drink again. Medic permit it again just this once.
"And to our excellent Engineer, who proved me wrong and has the good nature to not pursue the fact," Medic said, giving the Engineer a mockingly stern look. The Engineer chuckled quietly and raised his glass along with the others. The Medic excused himself and left the celebrations early.
How strange that things have turned in RED's favor so suddenly, he thought. The doctor entered his room and locked the door. The room was large; it doubled as the Medic's medical library. No wound to treat today, he thought again. Not a single bullet wound. Even the Scout recovered quickly from his brief skirmish. Then again, the enemy was surprised, and would not be again. They would have to move into battles closer and closer to the enemy base as well. This would put RED at an immediate disadvantage if their supplies run low. The Medic sat in an armchair and quietly listened to the clangs of the ever working Engineer, and enjoying the smell of an expensive cigarette. He slowly came to when he realized that he was not smoking.
He threw open a desk shelf, loaded the pistol inside, and pointed wildly.
"I know you are here!"
Silence. The wind rattled against the closed windows, and the shadows cast by the dim lighting mocked him. His heart's wild pounding seemed to shake the room.
"Your cloak does not eliminate smell, dummkopf!", he said. A muffled groan sounded from behind him, prompting the Medic to fire.
"I thought so", said a voice to his right. The Medic fired again, and again did not hit anything of interest.
"I asked the company upon receiving it, but who are they to indulge a mercenary's questions?"
The Medic fired again, every miss worsening his panic.
"I suppose it is foolish to ask why you are here, Spy," said Medic, leaning against a bookshelf. He tried to control his trembling. "But to deliberately disobey ceasefire regulations? Even if you are successful in ridding RED of its one doctor, both companies will want your head," he said darkly.
"I am aware," said the invisible man. "But I am not here as an assassin. Non, I am here to congratulate you." The Medic heard the man take a drag from his cigarette, which was either extremely loud, or impossibly close. As if to elaborate on which, the intruders breath warmed the doctor's ear as he continued.
"On your new teammates. I like them; they are so young and impressionable. They are also naive. Do they even know that a spy exists in BLU?", he whispered. The Medic stopped his breathing as a cold invisible metal slid it's broad side against his neck. As it just barely broke the skin, the doctor saw a brief, shimmering outline of the Spy, who quickly pulled back as the doctor swung his pistol against his arm, prolonging the shimmer. He quickly followed up and shot at the silhouette, and missed.
"Pardon, docteur. I must not know my own strength," the voice said happily. The Medic exhaled sharply and glared in all directions, much to the audible amusement of the intruder.
"Regardless, I will not be the observer tomorrow as I had been today. I'm curious to see who I introduce myself to first..."
The Medic moved to block the door, only to see the window open and shut at an admirable speed. His chest tightened and he shoved the pistol back into the drawer. He was almost angry that the Spy had not killed him, and had even apologized at that pathetic nick at the throat. They were on opposite teams, ceasefire or no, so this behavior was entirely foreign to him. He slept fitfully.
The next day's battle was expectantly more difficult now that BLU was aware of their new targets. The Engineer, having lingered a bit longer than before at the base, returned and built his sentry. Under the hail of rockets and bombs, he explained to the Medic the purpose of the hunk of whirling metal near his feet. Thinking the Engineer utterly insane, the doctor simply nodded and accompanied the Soldier in his effort to push BLU back even further from the outpost. Teleporters? Medic immediately put the man's checkup in high priority.
The sentry stood on the roof of a high building not far from the BLU gates. As the Scout ambushed a pair of BLU Demomen intent on destroying the sentry, the Engineer left it for a moment to gather more metal. He stopped abruptly at a foreboding sound. Not sure what to make of it, he returned to his sentry. Scout was already there, staring at the malfunctioning gun confusedly.
"Yo hardhat, why's your stuff glitchin'?"
"Not sure, boy, but this thing is probably doing it," he said, pulling a tangle of wire and battery from the gun. He heard the boy scoff from behind him.
"It is called a sapper, mon ami. "
---
BLU Demomen charged at RED, not even caring to hide their unnerving howls. Alarmed at the absence of sentry cover fire, the Soldier and Medic shoved their Scout out of harm's way and faced the charge themselves. As the Scout stumbled away from the imminent collision, his skull throbbed from a sudden onslaught of stimuli. He looked back to find the source of an eerie crackling that filled his ears, and squinted at the blinding scarlet light that emanated from his teammates' bodies. In a brief absence of enemy projectiles, the Medic yelled at the Scout to find the Engineer.
The Scout, finished with alternating between expressions of awe and horror at the ubered pair, ran back to the sentry's building. When he was at the door, the carnage behind him had stopped. The Soldier pressed on while the doctor ran past the Scout for additional supplies. The boy flew up the dark, angular staircase and took a shortcut to the roof. "Shit, Engie, why'd you bail on us when we needed y-"
Scout was on the roof now, hovering over Engineer's body. His shock extended for many precious seconds as his mind struggled to process what he believed to be impossible. His eyes grew wider and his mouth trembled because he wanted to swear; he wanted to swear more in the next minute than he had in his entire life, but he could not make a sound. He threw himself to his knees and felt the man's neck for a pulse with trembling fingers. At a loss with where a pulse would even be found, he pressed everywhere and heightened his hysteria. He shuddered as the warm blood seeped into the bandages on his hands. His heartbeat exploded and he jumped at a sudden voice.
"I'm sorry."
He turned to see the RED Medic frowning at the body and shaking his head. Scout moved his mouth again, and to his intense frustration, he still could not produce sound. He gripped his cap tightly and kept trying. "D...doc, he's dead. He's dead, doc. Engie, he-he's dead..." The boy continued to mumble incoherently as the doctor gripped his shoulder gently. "It happens, boy, it happens." "No no no, doc, that don't happen to Engie. He just got here, that bastard just got here." "I know, I know." "Who does he think he is, doc? Dyin' from a fucking-, what is that? A knife s-stab? What kind of sh-shitty death is that? An' it's in the back, too,", Scout rambled, becoming louder every time he opened his mouth.
"Unfair, I know, Scout."
"Some fucker actually fucking backstabbed him. But how the hell, man? All o' the BLU are over th-"
The RED Medic smiled warmly as Scout stopped speaking and slowly slipped his shoulder from under the Medic's hand. "Doc...y-you came out of the supply building right as the sentry stopped beepin'." The doctor cocked his head confusedly as the Scout stepped back, bumping his feet against stray sentry parts.
"An...and now you're here jus' as I turn up... you gone traitor on us, doc, that it?" Scout picked his bat off of the floor and gripped it until his hands hurt. He was then aware of the entire battlefield, as if this truth freed his mind. Soldier was retreating behind him, and what sounded like the enemy Soldier-Medic pair rushing into the area. And lastly, their own Medic was screaming obscenities at their Soldier for rushing without him when he had pulled back for supplies. Scout frowned and peered down in time to see the RED Medic run past the building, cast a stray glance up at him as well, and another of shock at his own doppelganger. In a moment that Scout promised to tell his seven brothers back home multiple times, he ducked, elbowed a lunging knife out of a gloved hand (not red as before, but black, he would tell them), and swung his bat as far into the attackers chest as his adrenaline pumped arms would allow. The crunch of wood on flesh and bone was heard even by the bellowing Soldiers.
"Yo, that was SICK. Are your ribs always that loud, motherfucker?", Scout yelled, his voice cracked and low. "And what the hell is this crap?" He picked up a paper mask from the floor. On it was a picture of his Medic. He threw it down and approached the keeled over man. He swung his leg to kick the man, who promptly caught his ankle and twisted until the Scout fell to the floor of the roof. They both returned to their feet, one grinning widely and the other baring his teeth.
"Mon Dieu, non, that was the-", he paused to spit out blood accumulating in his mouth, "-the loudest thus far", he said, not bothering to hide his awe. The Scout didn't seem to appreciate the compliment.
"Why the fuck are you prancin' around with that stupid mask on, huh, stupid?" Scout knocked his bat against the roof threateningly and circled the man, whose grin became so sickeningly wide that he was forced to laugh out his joy.
"Now what the shit is so goddamn funny?", Scout said, his voice trembling out of fear and anxiety and rage and a thousand other emotions. The man adjusted his suit, bending only slightly in spite of what Scout hoped to be massive internal bleeding. "I was not expecting an audience with you so soon, but-", he paused again to spit, "- spies cannot be choosers."
"You're a spy?"Scout screwed up his face as if he had smelled his own socks after a mission. "Oui," the Spy said curtly. He frowned as he gripped the front of his bloodied suit. The Scout's breathing quickened. "Y-you killed Engie." "Now that is insulting. I sapped his sentry and THEN I killed 'im." As the Spy reached inside his jacket, an explosion ripped through the air and the RED Soldier landed between the two on the building.
"I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS TEA PARTY, LADIES. YOU ARE THE BLU MAGGOT ALIVE WHO IS DENYING OUR VICTORY AND THAT DISGUSTS ME TO THE HIGHEST DEGREE,", he bellowed. He made to fire a rocket but was shoved roughly aside by Scout, who lunged at the Spy himself and in utter disregard to the revolver that emerged from the man's jacket and pointed at his chest. The knockback from the shot did nothing to the Spy's advantage because the Scout paused only briefly before leaping over the man and disconnecting his skull from the spine with the grace of a swung bat. The crack made even the Soldier shudder, even if it was a trembling joy. This joy was swiftly multiplied as canyon speakers projected the declaration of victory for the RED team.
He seemed to curb it, however, before he approached the Scout, who immediately started to feel the consequences of his actions. Blood spilled quickly through his shirt and down his legs. He felt rough hands on his shoulders but paid them no heed as his knees buckled under his own weight. He was aware of the entire battlefield. He was not only aware of the smell of his sweat, but also of the sparse grass that escaped the destruction of war. His ears rang not only with the revolver shot that was killing him, but also of the trilling of birds that had returned to the now quiet field. His eyes hurt not only because they were fixed upon the body of his dead friend, but because the sun glanced off of the stupid metal roof and into his face. But he was most aware of the arm that he had used to hurt a man that day.
---
"Ahcrapdocwhathappe-
"Hush or I will slip"
Wh-? Oh shit doc, you're operating."
"Zhe bullet nicked an artery. Can you feel zhis?"
"Feel what?"
"Good. Now try not to wake up again."
****************
"Ah, jeez."
The RED Medic stopped organizing his tools and looked back at the Scout wearily. "Even the second zhe anesthetic wears off, your tongue does not rest. Calm yourself, we are in our base and zhe battle was won."
The Scout attempted multiple times to rise from his bed, and each attempt was met with a downward shove from the Medic. The doctor, despite his show of indifference, carefully observed the boy's behavior.
"But doc, where...where is he?", said Scout.
"He?"
"Y...y'know...," he said. His voice was soft and low, as if a higher pitch would upset himself. He avoided Medic's eyes. "Engie. What are we gonna do about Engie?" The doctor considered for a moment that this was a joke, but Scout's miserable expression convinced him otherwise. The Medic straightened his glasses and resumed wiping his tools.
"Picked up, obviously." "What? By what?" "Zhe Respawn, of course."
"What?"
The Medic's eyes widened. He then turned around slowly and looked at the confused Scout.
"Scout," he started uneasily, "did you happen to skip or skim over any part of your terms of agreement when you took this job?" He said all of this slowly, as if to prolong the answer.
"Oh, that fat book they gave me after my interview? What's that gotta do wi-"
"Answer me."
"Pft, I don't need no manual to fight. Course I didn't read it, who does?"
The Medic stared at him in awe for a few moments because he had never processed such a terrific level of stupidity in such a short time. He began to speak as the door to the infirmary creaked open and a second voice interrupted.
"Howdy, Scout! How you feeli-?"
Ach, nein, nein, nein, the Medic thought. He pushed the Engineer out, but his intentions were futile. Scout made a hoarse cry and leapt out of bed, dragging his white covers with him to floor. The Medic hauled him back in and, deaf to the boy's indignant insults and furious questions, hastily snapped leather restraints across his ankles and wrists. After sedating him and tightening the restraints a second time, he stepped outside to a puzzled Engineer.
"Solly told me what the boy did. Thought I'd come over and congratulate him myself-"
"Nein, Herr Engineer, zhis is no time for that." Medic groaned audibly and rubbed his temple for a moment."He had not read his papers," he said softly. "Zhe terms of agreement."
"Well that's a shame, but what does that have to do w-"
"He thinks you are dead, Herr Engineer."
The Engineer was silent for a few seconds until shock crept onto his features as he fully realized what Medic meant. As the doctor walked away, he called after him, "We can just explain the system to him. He'll still stay, right, doc?" He looked on as the doctor ignored his questions and rounded a corner.
When the sedative wore off, Medic and Soldier came to the still restrained Scout and explained first, and in great detail, how stupid he was for not reading his own contract, and second, what was arguably the most important information in the contract: Respawn. The Medic would never have thought that explaining the existence of a technology that would prevent death indefinitely would give him a bloodied nose. After sedating the boy again for throwing what was possibly the most violent fit the Medic had seen in his entire career, they left. They told the Engineer that infirmary visits were out of the question.
The Medic retreated to his room. Night had fallen without his notice, and with a glance at the half lit clock, he counted four hours since the end of the day's mission. He closed the door and went to stand by a window. He was a rational man. He was a doctor, and a field medic at that. It was never the right time to stop working, or delay sleep that would compromise work. It was a rule he had imposed upon himself. Yet there he stood at his window and simply looked at the cratered moon. Cratered, barren, and probably very dirty, he thought. He rubbed his neck with his bare hand. It felt a string; a thin string was around his neck. He idly wondered why he had not noticed the capsule bump against his bare collarbone before.
In the near eerie quiet that permeated throughout the entire RED base, he heard a soft shuffle. It could've come from outside, or from directly behind him. Regardless, his body tensed and his back involuntarily found a wall. Almost immediately after he had done so, a mournful sigh filled the room.
"Je suis désolé, monsieur. I did not mean to disturb you yet."
Medic turned toward the direction of the familiar and mocking voice with building panic, but also with some reassurance. He had pondered over the nature of the last visit in the day's idle periods, and was sure that he had reached a conclusion. He was ashamed of his own shaking voice.
"I know why you come here, spy."
"Oui? Humor me, doctor."
"You come alone and when I am alone. You are a BLU Spy, and I am zhe one RED Medic. If you are not simply playing with your meal, zhen all of zhis must all be a wonderful setup for an elaborate negotiation. Now hurry up and name your terms so I may refuse them."
This was followed by a brief silence, which was then followed by poorly suppressed chuckles. Soon, the invisible man did not even try to suppress his mirth.
"Bravo, doctor! Très créatif. Still, that is not my intention. Not today."
The doctor heard a small click and a long inhale before cigarette smoke wafted through the room. He wondered how long the man had to wait before smoking to keep his cover, only to blow it with clumsy footing. The doctor would've wanted a smoke after that as well. In fact, he wouldn't have minded one in his own position.
"I feel that your team may benefit from a performance report, non? Surely, you must know from the opponent's eyes how fragile your young friends turned out to be."
The Medic's face must have done a beautiful job of conveying his indignation. He heard the invisible man take another drag before the infuriatingly calm voice continued.
"Make yourself comfortable, doctor, you are so tense."
"I will do what I want, Eindringling. Now say whatever you want to say to me and leave," the doctor said curtly. He had no power in his position, but to hell with whoever thought he would submit like a dog. Another long drag and the amused, disembodied voice continued.
"I suppose I should start with L'ingén-"
He fell silent. The Medic heard it too - footsteps in the hallway and soon after, a tentative knock on the door. Feeling an intense self consciousness toward his back, Medic slowly walked to the door and opened it. A bleary eyed Engineer still in his uniform looked back at him.
"Ah dang it, thought I heard you talkin' to someone, and well, Soldier's asleep so I figured.. ah, sorry doc." He tipped his helmet and shuffled off. Medic watched him go, almost disgusted at how close two strangers had apparently become over an insignificant train ride. And yet, he felt that formalities must be absent for certain situations.
"Engineer," he called. The stocky, tired man peered back.
"You must forgive me for doubting you twice. Scout would not have survived without zhe teleporter." Medic said. The Engineer grinned, his tired eyes still half lidded. "Much obliged," he said softly.
"Do your team an added favor, Herr Engineer."
The Engineer raised his eyebrows and listened.
"Watch your back from now on. Also, ask zhe Soldier for a spare shotgun in zhe morning. I will not clear you for battle if it is not consistently in your possession." The doctor waited until the Engineer nodded in agreement and left before he reluctantly stepped back into his room and locked the door again. He turned around and his whole body jerked in shock at the unexpected sight.
The suit made fine creases at the elbow with each slow clap, and strips of light ran across a blue balaclava as the face behind it looked at him with an expression as calm and casual as the lone voice the doctor was accustomed to hearing. A low 'ahem' and suit readjustment later, the man sat straighter in his armchair and raised his arms.
"Monsieur, but you are putting me out of business." The Spy then laid them on the chair's armrests and slipped a cigarette case from his jacket. "Do you smoke, doctor?"
"Nein," he whispered, but his eyes must have lingered on the case for longer than he thought.
"Oui, not today. Now, that-", he said, putting the case away, "that was beautiful advice, Medic. So much so that I was compelled to appear before you and applaud." The cigarette tip glowed. "I suppose that leaves the bunny, although I may as well include all of RED." The Medic waited until the man took another unnerving drag.
"Focusing on foreign policy without settling domestic disputes is very... dangerous, doctor."
The Spy propped his head up in the chair and appeared thoughtful. "Who knows? Maybe RED will whip him into shape. And maybe," he added thoughtfully, "I can provide added encouragement."
"I doubt that aid provided by a traitorous schweinhund is of any value."
"Mon Dieu, doctor, I do not rise to bait."
"You should. Zhen perhaps you will cease tirelessly dragging out my death."
"I 'ave told you before, I do not mean to k-"
"You have with you a revolver and a knife. I am unarmed because all spare ammunition has been melted down to serve zhe Engineer's purposes. The pistol rounds I wasted on your shadow were zhe last."
"S'il vous plaît, doctor. If it bothers you this much, then next time I will-"
The Spy stopped speaking abruptly. His brow furrowed and, with what Medic thought was almost convincing concern in his tone, asked him if he wasn't feeling well.
The doctor scoffed and, in the midst of choosing only the most insulting retort, realized where the Spy was looking. The Medic glanced down at his own shirt collar and gathered from his white knuckles and creased folds that he was clutching it fiercely. From inside the shirt, he also glimpsed the tantalizing outline of a little white capsule that held a little blue pill. Just one bite, he thought, and these unnerving interrogations, these traitorous conversations, would be over.
Without warning, the Spy disappeared. The window creaked open an inch wider of its own accord and the night was still again. The doctor grabbed the clock off the wall and hurled it with full force through the window before closing it at the eruption of pained groans and foul French. He ripped the capsule from his neck and threw it blindly before collapsing into bed, remembering the BLU Spy's last words and thinking that it will snow in Dustbowl before there will be a 'next time'.
And despite his vague promises, there always was. The Spy did not uncloak again, but the day nearly never reached its end without some sort of visit from the invisible man. All of these visits were, quite frankly, of no great use to either, and the RED Medic had all but given up trying to place meaning behind the BLU Spy's actions. A few weeks in and the Medic even began to expect these meetings, and, ashamed though he was at this, felt that something was wrong when a week's or even a day's visit was missed.
In nearly all of these midnight conferences, the doctor made sure to avoid any mention of either company, of teammates, and of personal details. The Spy did not challenge or even chide these conditions. When one was not enjoying a brief history lesson from the other, they argued over how long mankind could maintain relative peace without an inevitable nuke party. At some point, both were about to chide their respective Soldier's inability to resist a nuke fest to the other for a laugh, but both held their tongues and continued smoking. Thankfully, this situation did not present itself often because most of the visits were spent in absolute silence save for the occasional request for a lighter. But this did not continue indefinitely. It could not. In due time, the BLU Spy revealed to the RED Medic the reason for his visits, which was, in fact, also a proposition which led to one negotiator's death. However, many things would happen before then. They are events that would greatly influence the terms of this proposition.
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