Are you gonna do these for all of the classes? Because this was very hilarious informative.

While reading this, I thought "I am very aroused". Several times. Thank you for sharing, Sidi.

This was lol-tastic and stimulating. I especially like that it emphasizes that Scout power bottoms, and will knock your dick off if you come between him and his Red Sox, with a hint of a little more depth to him. I agree with the call for a similar list done for the other classes. Well done!

Oh, if only I could apply this. Why must such hot characters be fictional?

I love this though. It makes absolute perfect sense, and every point is believable, and consistent.

I'm with the above posters. I'd LOVE to see more of these for each class.

Oh, this is fabulous! I know how hard it can be to do "one like that, but for every class," there are nine dudes and some of them are just bound not to move you, but if you cared to write more like this, I'd be most pleased.

Holy unexpected positive feedback, Batman! I guess this means I can go back to my real username.

Honestly, I thought the Chan would hate this, which is why I never posted it until now. It was written in the draft of an email during lunchbreaks at my summer internship. It was also the first TF2 piece I wrote, and I dismissed it when I finished as being messy and cliche (the second thing I wrote, The Shape of A Boomerang, was the only thing I ever posted, and was a fill for the kink meme).

Honestly, at the time this felt like butter spread over too much bread. One day I was sitting around and #9 popped into my head, but I realized six sentences did not a story make, so I was like, "lol i guess i'll slap ten of these together and call it a fic it can be artsy and everything." Then I forgot about it, and it took some serious ego-tripping via googling myself and finding out that someone had requested the other story I had written on the Lost and Found thread to finally go "fuck it" and post this.

TEAL DEER I am pleasantly surprised by your kind remarks (even Marty likes it! Does that mean I get to be a cool kid now? I always wanted to be) and now want to take on the challenge of doing the other classes.

Like all great fiction I write during class, and today I had a creative writing and Russian lit course. Guess who's up next.

>>7

omgomgomg. Wonderful. That you plan to write more of these is the best thing I've heard all day. Can't wait.

I humbly request next one of the support classes. Preferably Medic.

This is great.

>>7 Oh god oh god oh god

*flails like an idiot*

I can't wait. I really can't, I- I'm just so excited. I can't remember the last time people requested something of an author, and said author actually responded and did it.
It's probably happened more than I realize, but still. Not as much as I wish it would. Which is every time. But still.

I will sit here and wait patiently for my guide to Heavy sex. Or someone else, because you might be tricking us. I do not know. But I cannot wait to find out.

This is HIGHLY relevant to my interests... and yes, the only bad part about this is that it can't actually be put onto practice. Sigh.

Lovely. Humbly requesting Medic version.

Would you kindly make a demoman one?

I would love a Sniper one to go a long with Medic.

Heyo, since I am a slow bastard and am taking forever to get the next one finished, and lot of people seem to be curious, I just wanted to let you guys know my general plan for these.

I'm currently working on Heavy, and then I plan to do Demoman, Medic, and Sniper, in that order. After that, I'm not so sure, though I've kind of been thinking up some stuff for Pyro.

Anyway, that's the plan. Just giving you guys a head's up (you've all been so great, thank you.) I hope to have the Heavy one done sometime this week.

>>15

Oh hey, thanks for keeping us posted! Sometimes that's the best thing you can do for your audience. Keep it up, Insidiae!

>>15

I can't tell you how happy I am to hear this. And you know, an Engineer or Soldier one would be nice, too. Just an idea.

>>17 Oh ye gods, yes. I would KILL for an Engie one.

Literally. Name the person and mode of death and I'll do it. Just try me.

I can picture Engie's going one of two ways- Him being all folksy and shy, or somehow turning out to be one hell of a kinky bastard.
Either way, would love one.

And can't wait for Heavy's! It's so nice to be kept in the loop! It really is.

>>18

I'll take the latter any day. Or at least a decent hybrid of the two for an ostensibly-shy-and-folksy-but-secretly-kinky Engineer.

Seriously, just thanks Insidiae.

>>18
>>19

Speaking of, let's talk about kinks.

For me, TF2 fandom has been the place for me to explore kinks I never really considered (admittedly, I had only written one piece of smut before coming to TF2, so). One day I plan to finish the language kink Medic/Spy noncon I have sitting on my harddrive, and I also plan to write a Medic/Pyro with waxplay.

As I continue writing this series, however, it occurs to me that I may have to consider YKINMK. Some of them aren't even mine. I'm really not into watersports, but I can't let the opportunity to write Sniper that way pass by. Medic will probably involve bloodplay/needleplay/S&M, Engineer will have toys and Daddy!kink, etc.

So basically, what I want to know is if there are any kinks you guys specifically DON'T want to see, because if I'm not told otherwise, I will probably go all out in manic glee.

>>20
kinks you don't want to see
Eh, poop I guess. While I've never been into bloodplay/breathplay/watersports/inflation/crushing/amputee/necrophilia/incest, I don't mind them. It might be hypocritical of me, then, to say that poop is just a step too far, but it's how I feel. No matter how open-minded I am or will become, it's unlikely that I'll ever gain a taste for that.
A distant second on my "no thanks" list would be various types of role-playing such as adult babies, or ponyplay. I just can't take them seriously enough to find them sexy.
Of course, I would never make an attempt to oppose anyone who had an interest in writing any of these kinks.

Just do what I do: hit 'em with both barrels on the weird stuff, and MAKE 'em like it. They'll be fapping before the WTF fades from their faces. You can do it.

In slightly more serious editorial advice, you should write whatever seems logical to you, and work to make the logic evident to your readers in the course of your writing. It's like a position paper in grade school, only with porn. Don't just tell us, show us, et cetera.

Also:
YKINMK Do I sense a fellow Savage Love fan?

>>21 Eh, personally, I don't like anything with gore. Like, that one lungfucking fic with Medic? I nearly threw up.

But I get that some people DO like that stuff, so I can just skip the ones that have it, and let those that do like it read it. And I can still read the ones that don't, and be perfectly content.

Just worry not. There are some pretty sick puppies in this chan, so even if you write the most vile disgusting thing you can think of, chances are that at least half a dozen people will like it anyway. Hehe.

1. Get dumped by boyfriend
2. Go on two three hour long flights
3. ???
4. Profit

And by profit I mean write this installment several days later than planned. Sorry guys! But as you can see it's been one hell of a week for me.

Anyway, I'm sorry if my mediocre mood has had any negative effects on this part, but after scrapping the whole thing once already, I don't think I have it in me to change it anymore. So without further ado, I present:


Ten Things You Should Know if You Want to Fuck Heavy


1. Sex, for Heavy, is sort of like a form of maintenance, which is why he’s almost unbearably gentle at times. To him, the human body is not so very different from the complicated machinery of his guns. Both need a little TLC from time to time to keep them in perfect running order.

2. However, if you’re looking for penetrative sex, Heavy is just not your guy. He’s never seen the appeal of it, whether it’s giving or receiving. Heavy enjoys other pleasures – hand jobs are great, but he’s especially fond of intercrural sex. The smooth slide of skin over skin – as opposed to the rough intrusion of penetration – is the best feeling in the world.

3. Heavy is a romantic at heart. You don’t need to promise to marry the guy, but a flower? Some candles? They go a long way.

4. Heavy cuddles. Hope you don’t have plans for after sex, because you’re not going anywhere.

5. Surprisingly, Heavy is a quiet lover. It isn’t that he’s not passionate; rather, he’s scared.

Heavy is an amalgamation of languages. There’s Russian, of course, and English, but also German, Polish, and a little bit of French.

DorogoÄ­. Liebling. Kochanie. Cheri. Love.

He doesn’t want to call out the wrong name.

6. On that note, it should probably be mentioned that he falls a little bit in love with everyone he sleeps with. Not a deep, obsessive live, nor a heartbreaking, tragic love, but a genuine love, nonetheless. He can’t help it; sex is the best way to intimately know a person, and once he’s at that point, why not go just one step further?

7. Heavy has a lot of love to go around. He lives by the motto, “the more the merrier,” and tries to follow it in every aspect of his life. This is just one of those times when you need to be blunt.

If you don’t want to have an orgy, just say so to his face. He won’t get it, otherwise.

8. Because he never took to English that well (it was, after all, his fourth language), Heavy is often mistaken for being as slow mentally as he is physically. The truth is, he’s quite the intellectual.

In post-coital conversation, he likes to wax philosophic, whether it be Marx and Lenin, Herzen and Chaadaev, or Tolstoy and Dostoevsky. Whether you listen or participate in the discourse is up to you.

He just needs someone to talk to.

9. Under his bed, Heavy keeps a constant stash of vodka that could rival Demoman’s supply of Scrumpy. This he saves for the nights when the homesickness gets to be too much for him.

On these nights, you can still have sex, but you should just be aware that when he’s jerking you off, he’s looking for home in your arms.

10. Whatever else you want to say about him, Heavy is warmer than any blanket on a cold night.

And cold nights come often in this war.



Thanks for reading! Next up is Demoman.

-Insidiae-

>>24 Love it. Not quite as much as the one for Scout, but loved it nonetheless. Still seems 100% in character, too. You've really got these guys nailed (pardon the awful pun).

>>24
I would cheerfully make sweet, passionate love with this Heavy and three or four of his pals. You can join us; I'm not ALL-the-way gay.

I am sorry to hear that your boyfriend dumped you. Seriously, let me know if there's anything I can do to make you feel better.

>>24
I'm a girl who isn't highly interested in sex, but this makes me all warm and fuzzy inside. Not sure why, but it does. Heavy sounds so cozy.

>>24
I got dumped this summer and shit sucked, so I can totally relate.
Nothing feels better than writing about how Heavy likes orgies (with redheads) and how he's so warm and cuddly.

24 YES.
Loved the closeing line, and some new demoman stuff will be greatly appreciated.

D'awww, you guys are the sweetest. Sorry this kind of turned into a pity party in my honor, I didn't mean for it to - I only mentioned the boyfriend thing by way of explaining how long it took me - but I really appreciate all your kind words and encouragements.

Also, I realize now that somewhere along the way the Heavy version went srs bsns on me when I wasn't looking. The Demoman one should be considerably lulzier.

Oh, and Marty, you do know how to woo a woman. I'd wink emoticon at you, but I don't want to break the rules. I'm sure you understand.

I love your Hoovy, Insidiae. Please keep it up.

You write hoovy very well. And sorry about your boyfriend.

Awww, I thoroughly enjoyed both of those.
I can't wait to read more!

And sorry about your boyfriend, hun, but everything will turn out fine in the end. Trust me.

An update? On MY thread? It's more likely then you think.

Oh, Spring Break. Flights and free time are good for the soul.

Anyway, I have the feeling that this part ended up sounding better in my head then on paper, but I'm not sure what to do about that. Also, I apologize in advance for #3, but I had to. I /had/ to.


Ten Things You Should Know if You Want to Fuck Demoman


1. The real reason Demoman wears a long sleeve in the midst of battle (and really, any time he can get away with it) is because his wrists are huge erogenous zones. Properly stimulating his wrists is the best way to have him panting in your lap in no time.

2. He really, really likes to see his partners in kilts. Yes, it’s weird, but it’s a thing of his. He enjoys connecting his heritage to his sex; just stop him before he pulls out the bagpipes.

3. Yes, someone has tried to fuck his eye socket before. No, it wasn’t a pleasant experience. Yes, he was very drunk at the time.

….No, he would not like to try it again.

4. With a $5 million annual paycheck, Demoman likes to lavish gifts onto his partners. As nice as the presents are, at some point, you’ll probably decide that enough is enough. Just explain to him that you can enough fun without a solid jade cock ring, and he’ll understand.

5. On the topic of cock rings, Demoman really gets off on denial. Not his – yours. The panting, the writhing, the twisting on top of the covers – Demoman loves to exert that kind of power over his bedmates. He loves that control.

6. The one bit of control he will concede is his vision, and this only happens on the extremely rare occasion. Being blindfolded doesn’t do much for Demoman physically, but at the emotional level, he appreciates the equalizing effect.

After all, through a blindfold, he wouldn’t be able to see any better even if he had two working eyes.

7. Mostly, though, he prefers to keep his eye wide open, watching the connection of his body with that of another. Demoman loves the play between his flesh and that of his partners, his dark skin contrasting with their (usually) fairer tones.

8. Sex used to mean something to Demoman. Something important. Mama DeGroot taught him about honour and chivalry, about self-respect and loyalty, and though Demoman took her words to heart, that was all before this war happened. Now he lives in a constant state of inebriation and most of his romps in the hay are just dots on a long line of drunken mistakes.

Demoman usually has sex in a blurred haze, drowning in his Scrumpy. These fucks are empty and meaningless and rarely acknowledged. So when he’s sober, if he has sex, you should realize that that’s not fucking.

That’s love.

9. Demoman doesn’t stick around very long after sex. He has things to do, bombs to make, scotch to drink. He also doesn’t sit well with lying in his own sweat, so bonus points if you have a shower that he can clean up in peacefully.

Be aware that Demoman sings in the shower, too. The rest of team quickly came to recognize that hearing the broken strains of “Auld Lang Syne” over the sound of falling water means Demoman just got lucky.

10. Due to the nature of his job, Demoman is a gambler. He risks it all, and sometimes he loses it all. If you’re also willing to bet with him, then maybe it’ll work out. Maybe you’ll win.

But it’s always a gamble.




As always, thanks for reading! Next up is Medic, thank Christ. Finally a class whose character I think I actually have a grasp on.

Oh, bonus that I forgot to include in the previous post! If anyone's curious about the jade cock ring, it's real: http://www.cocodemerusa.com/Store/pc/New-Jade-Cock-Ring-23p88.htm

You can also buy pearl anal beads. Weirdest google search I've ever done.

I can't wait for your next one. That was fabulous.

Captcha: manots. Man nots. Pyro?

I'm not even attracted to Demo and I find this amazing.

>>37 Same. As always, this seems really in character, too.

I can't wait for Medic's. And at the same time, I'm terrified at the inevitable mention of guro and such. Maybe it won't be so bad...

The sooner there's a Sniper one the better.

I actually like Demoman more now. I don't know why, but I do.

I second the Sniper motion as well.

>>36
And I thought I liked the demoman before.

I look forward to that Medic one. I hope you make a soldier one - with minimal craziness (sober/sane Soldier is my favorite of them all).

>>42

Taking some cannon into consideration, I'd think Soldier wouldn't be /as/ insane as a lot of people say but still thinking back to his class's video he IS a little bit insane.

Well obviously soldier isn't as insane as everyone thinks.
After all, he has the ability to be out in public with friends and ladies.

ooooooh, I really like this

>>42
>>43
>>44

Haha, oh Soldier. I was kinda hoping everyone would forget about you and that no one notice when I left you out.

In all seriousness, though, I do plan to do all of the classes at some point, though due to my utter lack of comfort with his character, he will probably go last. Yes, even after Pyro.

Medic is next, followed by Sniper, and that's for sure. Then it's either Engineer or Spy, and after those two Pyro.

And then Soldier gorramit.

Thanks for all the continued support, everyone!

Bampuuu

Could there be a Saxton Hale one?

>>48

Oh dear god, that would be hilarious!
I second this!

>>48
>>49

Holy shit you're a fucking genius. Yes, I will totally do a Saxton Hale one when I'm done with the other classes.

Sorry I've been all of the slow lately. Midterms have been kicking my ass.

(Babies you amaze me.)

Shameless self-bump is shameless and bumpy, but I don't want this thread to fall off the board before I finish this series.

Oh, I can't wait for the Medic one! (it doesn't help one bit that he is currently my favourite of these guys) Can't wait, I tell you!

If you really are struggling with Soldier's character, I would love to offer my assistance if it's something you feel you'd need help with. (I could probably end up writing it myself, but I don't want to butt in on your brain child without permission.)

>>53

I'm going to try it first, but I will certainly keep your offer in mind. Perhaps you would be willing to beta it and see how IC you think it is?

I think this is my favorite thing on the chan. And I like pretty much everything on here, so that says a lot!

bumping so we dont lose this.

Can has Sniper?

Can has Spy??

This post has been deleted.

Oh my god. You guys. You guys. You guys are the best.

I had a clever line about midterms magically turning into finals without my being aware of it but the truth is there is just a lot of life stuff happening right now.

But I have far from abandoned this series and it means so much to me that people keep saving this thread from oblivion.

FOR SOME CONCRETE NUMBERS I have seven out of ten written for Medic, which means I should be able to get my ass in gear and finish his up soon, unless something else big comes up. I hope that helps at least a little bit.

Thanks again, everyone!

Metaphorically clapping my hands with glee at the prospect of Medic.

bumped

I don't even have words for how much I love this. It's so very good. I'm eagerly awaiting more.

DAMMIT GUYS STOP BUMPING THE THREAD AND MAKING ME THINK THERE'S AN UPDATE

Hey, what you doin' all the way back here? Im gonna bump you up, 'cause you're awesome.

BUMP like a boss. I am very eagerly awaiting more.

Dammit. I keep hoping there's an update.

HOLY SHIT, IS THIS WHAT I THINK IT IS? AN ACTUAL UPDATE? YEAHHHHHHH BOY.

Let's just pretend that I was writing this and NOT playing Portal 2 for the last 2 weeks intermittently between finals.


TEN THINGS YOU SHOULD KNOW IF YOU WANT TO FUCK MEDIC


1. Medic’s attitude in bed is pretty much what you’d expect it to be, given his attitude on the battlefield. True, he accepted the job from the Mann brothers because he didn’t have anywhere else to go, but the fact that Medic gets off on blood was an added bonus – one that carries over to the bedroom. He doesn’t feel quite the same desire to hack apart his bed partners as he does his enemies, but blood still acts as his ultimate aphrodisiac. A split lip, deep lines scratched on a pale back, or an abdomen just nicked with a scalpel can get Medic “fully charged” faster than anything else.

2. Zhe hurting might be more satisfying zhan zhe healing, but that’s a fairly one-way street. As fond as he is of inflicting a bit of pain on others, he is far less keen on being on the receiving end of it – especially if it leaves a mark. Medic belongs to no one, and the punishment for trying to brand him can be less than pleasant.

3. Hidden under his left glove rests a wedding ring. Medic’s relationship with his wife is unconventional at best, but it works for them. The feeling they hold towards one another is probably the closest either will ever get to love, but it’s not enough that they feel chained to each other.

Both of them have numerous affairs and neither of them cares. Their marriage is a business, not a romance, and their partnership only came about thanks to a mutual understanding that neither of them are compatible with monogamy.

(He does wish she’d choose someone besides that drunken Cyclops, though.)

4. But don’t worry – you’ll never see the ring. Medic refuses to take his clothes during sex. He sees no reason to make something as simple as fucking so personal; it just makes things messy, and Medic does hate mess.

5. Like any good man of science, Medic is always interested in experimentation, and that includes in sex.

You just have to agree to be the guinea pig.

6. The restraints are for your own protection.

7. Medic is a manipulator. Armed with an expert’s knowledge of human anatomy and deft hands borne from years of surgical precision, Medic can turn a routine check-up into much more before you even know what’s happening. His fingers know how to subtly caress the inside of a thigh, the pulse on a neck, and the arch of a foot – what should be innocent touches, but end up being straight shots of arousal. And once you’re in that state, it’s only his duty as your doctor to help you relieve your tension.

Of course, as his patient, he will expect you to… pay him back for services rendered, but that can come later, so just relax and let him take care of you – this won’t hurt a bit.

8. Often, Medic will refuse to touch during sex. Much of the time he prefers to just watch, to observe like a good man of science. Getting more directly involved skews data collection and creates personal biases; when he dedicates himself to just observing, his keen eyes never miss a single detail.

9. As much as Medic disdains unnecessary displays of feeling, he cannot escape his own emotions, and most of them are quite frankly rooted in rage. Medic is not a kind or gentle bed partner, and to expect him to show any sign of tenderness from beginning to end is to be a fool.

10. Medic is at his core a scientist, and the only relationship he has the time or patience for is his marriage to his work. He doesn’t care about your feelings, and he will always view more as a test subject than partner.

But that doesn’t stop the sex from being fantastic.



Thanks for not giving up on me, everyone, and for saving this thread more times than I care to count! In a brighter note, I should be much quicker now since I am officially on summer vacation~~~. Seriously, I feel like I need some fucking sparkly text or something to explain my UTTER JOY at being done with finals.

Next up is my favourite kawaii snoipah-chan uguu~

This Medic is terrifying, desirable, the ne plus ultra of my medical fetish. Well done. I'm glad to see this update.

>>68 I think I came, merely from the realization that there was a real update.

Awesome guide, but I'm pretty sure I'd never bang Medic. Don't care much for being a guinea pig. Knew that'd happen, though, and I can't wait to see what you do for Sniper.

All my romantic views on Medic were destroyed. Yeah! *trows arms in the air* This can become frankly my personal headcanon for Medic. (While i quietly sob deep inside of me.) Still i wasn´t so happy to get my heartbroken for quite some time.

I'm so happy that Sniper is next.

This is a terrifying medic. I don't think i've ever been so aroused and nervously uncomfortable at the same time before.

>>69
>>73

Yay, mission accomplished! In case there is still anyone who hasn't figured it out, I choose these based off of the trivia on the official TF2 wiki pages under /heavy/ influence from my own personal head canons, and my head canon for Medic will always be that he's a creepy, angry bastard (and at least a Nazi sympathizer, but I know most people don't agree with me on that point, so eh).

...finally... Medic...

Holy shit, this gets me places so much you don't even know it. I certainly wouldn't mind signing up to be his guinea pig...

THE MERE THOUGHT OF SNIPER BEING NEXT IS ENOUGH TO SEND ME INTO FITS OF PLEASURE.

Sniper is next? Hell yes that is awesome.

Captcha: gabeqf
I guess Gabe approves too.

Will you ever do Pyro, or is that one too difficult?
*has a feeling Pyro would be into masks and.or bondage*

>>78

Yes! I already actually have a couple of ideas for Pyro. That one will come after Spy and before Soldier.

I really am enjoying this one. I had my doubts given the difficulty of getting 'group of mercenaries' to 'prancing around in pinup poster attire' but you did it and it's bloody hilarious.

Don't forget melted wax for the Pyro, too. I have a feeling that would be right up his alley... and maybe even a latex fetish. Y'know, where you paint your partner with liquid latex and rip it off at the end...

His fingers know how to subtly caress the inside of a thigh, the pulse on a neck, and the arch of a foot – what should be innocent touches, but end up being straight shots of arousal. And once you’re in that state, it’s only his duty as your doctor to help you relieve your tension.
HHHHHNNNNNNNNNNNGGGG!!!

Also, sniper, let him be about doing it dirty, literally dirty like with dust and mud.

What's this? BUMP

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, BUMP

>>83

You got my hopes up and then destroyed them.

aaaaa-bump

May I refer >>85 to >>84?

bump for greatness

Stop bumping this damn thing, and giving me false hope about the Sniper update.

>>88
There's no rule against bumping threads. Complaining about the bumping of threads used to be a bannable offense, though. Calm yourself down, it's only fanfiction.

I have just finished reading through these. I'll admit, the title sorta turned me off at first but i keep seeing it pop back up so i figured "why not!" i love it! each one seems to fit each character so perfectly im very excited for the next one to be Sniper, hes always been my favorite class since the begging, his character is very interesting and it will be fun to read what you come up with. also look forward to when you do Solly eventually (hopefully)i don't have a great love for Solly but it will be very interesting to say the least.

Have you guys seen Meet the Medic? Haha oh man it was GLORIOUS.

Oh and also have an update from me.


Ten Things You Should Know if You Want to Fuck Sniper


1. Sniper prefers to do the deed in the dark. It’s not that he’s embarrassed or self-conscious; he’s just tired. After spending the entire behind a scope, his eyes need a rest, and when the darkness of night slips over his retinas, to him it feels like the slide of silk on skin.

2. To make up for not seeing anything, Sniper becomes very handsy. He maps out trails on chests and thighs, memorizing the topography of your body.

3. Growing up on the outback left Sniper with dubious ideas of hygiene. When he has sex, he never bothers to clean up beforehand, and often you can still feel a layer of dirt and sweat from his day’s work.

4. Jarate isn’t just for the battlefield.

5. Despite his well-deserved confidence as an assassin, Sniper is actually quite clumsy in the bedroom. The outback can be a lonely place, and while he’s well acquainted with his right hand, add in another person and suddenly everything goes to hell in a handbasket.

He needs guidance. Be patient with him – he’s a fast learner.

6. Sniper will rarely make the first move. He may be able to shoot a coin out of the sky a mile away, but his ability to read other people often leaves something to be desired. Rather than put his neck on the line, he prefers to wait for others to approach him – however long that wait might be.

7. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t hope. In fact, he has a whole room dedicated to his hopes in the back of his van. His parents gave him his camper as gift for his eighteenth birthday, and ever since then, he’s been sinking money into it to make it as perfect as he can. His biggest splurge was on his slide-out bedroom, complete with quilted queen-size bed.

As it stands, he might not have had as many sexual adventures on it as he may have hoped, but it is, at least, considerably better than any bed Redmond or Blutarch provide.

8. In the heat of doing the deed, Sniper has a tendency to slip back into his slang. It may not mean much to you, but “cracking a fat” is a good thing in this case, and should he ever say, “Harder, harder av-a-go-yer-mug!” while tugging on your shoulders, well, just pay attention to the first part.

9. Sniper has been a smoker for as long as he can remember, and remains quite fond of a post-coital cigarette. Whenever asked, he will claim that it adds to the atmosphere, but one look at his blessed-out face should be all it takes it tell you that the combination nicotine and orgasms is his own personal heaven, that no number of headshots could ever equal.

10. Sniper works in contradictions. On the one hand, he is the perfect professional, executing his targets politely, efficiently, and with a plan; he treats his peers with respect and level-headedly. On the other hand, he’s a bushie who suffers from more than a little social ineptitude and wouldn’t know sophistication if it shot him in the face or stabbed him in the back (and Spy has tried several times).

The bottom line is that being with Sniper is like walking a tightrope. Risky, and leaning too far in either direction could lead you plummeting to your death, but strike the right balance and it can be the most exhilarating experience of your life.




Sniper, I main as you. y u no write easy?

In other news, I have a full-time job now, but instead of slowing me down, that'll probably mean that I'll just get more done during breaks, so hopefully future updates won't take too long.

Next up is Spy, as soon as I can ignore to ridiculous urge to write Saxton Hale/Cave Johnson porn.

Meet the Medic is out and now this wonderful update is posted? Life is good.

... I love you. So much.

#4
Oh Lordy

Keep it up! I can't wait for the Spy to come next.

Oh my...

There /is/ a God...

>>91 Sign me up to walk that tightrope, motherfucker. Love it. Love everything about it.

Except the Jarate. But really, you can't do Sniper without some mention of Jarate.

You've really got these characters down pretty good. I can't wait to see more from you.

Another brilliant installment!

Don't resist the urges.
Write Cave Johnson and SAXTON HALE in all their glory.

i would so give Sniper a try and walk over that tight rope to his heart.

I can roll with this Sniper.