I am curious to see where you go with this. But please, try to find yourself a beta. When writing dialogue, give each character speaking their own paragragh, don't mash several speakers together. There is some weird wording in this that makes me re-read sentences before it sinks in. Though that may just be me being tired. Please flesh out you maid chracter first. Why was she in prison? what did she do before she was convicted? What experiences did she have while int here The whole set up for her felt very brief and rushed. On another note, wouldn't Ms Pauling be sent as a representative of the announcer? that's what usually happens in the comics.