Promise hugs, and ye shall receive! ----------- Predictably, the team did not react well when confronted with the news that they would be fighting without a doctor. “WHAT?!†Soldier’s enraged scream was almost as loud as the horrible noise his entrenching tool made as he slammed it onto the briefing room table. “This is UNACCEPTABLE. You tell that GOOSESTEPPING SISSY that if he does not report for duty like a MAN, I will PERSONALLY escort him STRAIGHT to the front line. With my BOOT. Which is on my FOOT. On account of how I will be KICKING him there!†“Damnit, Solly,†Engineer exclaimed. “If the Doc ain’t in a fit state to fight, that ain’t his fault.†“Agreed.†Spy leaned casually against the far wall, having already put the table between himself and Soldier. “We cannot expect ‘im to join us. ’e would be a liability on ze field.†“’old on there now, Spooky,†interjected Sniper, looking worried. “We go out there without Medic, we’re gonna get our arses kicked into next week. Better a sick doc than no doc at all, right?†Pyro produced a stream of enthusiastic but largely unintelligible syllables, accompanied by a lot of hand-waving. “I agree w’th’ lad,†Demo groaned, slumped over the table with his head on his arms. He did not enjoy mornings. Pyro looked frustrated, which was an impressive achievement given the mask. “Aww, c’mon, man, we can handle it.†Scout was perched on top of a filing cabinet, swinging his feet back and forth, with his heels thudding into the metal in a manner precisely calculated to cause maximum annoyance with minimum effort. “I mean, there’s only one of Doc, right? Can’t be that much different with no Doc.†“Gentlemen, the answer is obvious,†said Spy. “One of us must take ze Docteur’s place.†There was a stunned silence across the room, which Demo broke, having finally caught up with the conversation. “Yer jokin’!†“I never joke,†said Spy smoothly. “We need a docteur on ze field, but our Medic is indisposed. So, someone else must perform ‘is job.†“Dibs not me!†Scout piped up looking pleased with himself, having clearly outsmarted his teammates thanks to the ancient rules of Dibs. “Hah, sucks to be you guys!†Heavy raised one hand gingerly. “If it will help team, I will do dis.†Scout snickered. “Seriously?! You gonna wear the coat and the glasses too? Oh man, we’ll win for sure, the freakin’ REDs’ll be laughin’ too hard to fight!†“You even know how to work the gun?†asked Sniper. Heavy shrugged. “Of course. I show Doktor my gun, he shows me his. Is sharing. Even let him touch, sometimes.†“Aww geez. Did not need those images, man.†“Leetle Scout has very dirty mind,†Heavy observed, sounding more amused than annoyed. “But I can help team like dis.†“Now, hold yer horses there,†Engineer said. “We can’t afford t’ lose the fire-power. Better someone that don’t fight on th’ front line. Heck, I’ll do it if no-one else will.†“I was thinking of ze bushman,†said Spy casually. Sniper looked aghast. “Me?! Why should it be me?†“Because, my dear convict, you do nozzing.†Spy blew a lazy smoke ring in Sniper’s direction and continued. “You sit up in your little nest from ze first siren to ze last. Occasionally you deign to involve yourself in ze battle. It is ‘igh time you contributed to ze team.†“Oh yeah?!†Sniper stood up angrily, and was only stopped from doing something Spy might regret by Heavy’s hand on his shoulder. “Since when do you contribute, eh? When was the last time you got in a proper fight? All you do is swan around in that fancy suit stabbing people when their backs are turned! You’re a bloody coward, is what you are!†“Clearly you do not recognise ze skill required to do my job efficiently. Zat is a shame. But don’t worry, I’m sure zat acting as our Medic will not be too challenging for you. I am sure zat even you can work out which way to point ze medigun.†“OI! Now look ‘ere, mate-“ “SILENCE, MAGGOTS!†roared Soldier, and Sniper and Spy both shut their mouths, mostly out of surprise. “YOU.†He jabbed his shovel in Sniper’s direction. “You will do the DUTY that the KRAUT PANSY cannot do. There will be NO DISCUSSION.†Sniper’s face creased into a scowl. Spy looked suitably smug, until Soldier turned the shovel on him. “And YOU will do it if he turns out to be CRAP, which I expect he WILL. Is that UNDERSTOOD?†The smug look slid off Spy’s face. “I will remember this,†he said tersely. Soldier looked unimpressed, or presumably he looked unimpressed but with the helmet covering most of his face it was a tough call. “Come on, Stretch,†said Engineer in a cheery tone. “It won’t be for too long. Might even be fun!†“Why can’t it be someone else?†Sniper demanded. “I mean, why can’t Demo do it?†Engineer looked down at the table, where the Scot was now snoring audibly. “Well, Ah can’t speak for all y’all, but Ah’d prefer t’ trust my life t’ someone who don’t blow themselves up on a reg’lar basis.†Sniper looked around the room at the expectant faces and threw his hands up in defeat. “Fine! I’ll play Doc. Just don’ go expecting miracles.†“Sniper is team player!†Heavy clapped him on the shoulder hard enough to buckle his knees. “Come, I show you how gun works, so we will be ready for battle.†Sniper reluctantly allowed himself to be steered away by the overenthusiastic Russian. He had a feeling he was going to regret this very soon.