Reposting "TF2: The Sitcom" because it is beautiful and more people need to see it. Anybody know if this was ever continued? There are two seasons, ten episodes in the first and seven in the second. ~~~~~~~~~ Discuss: TF2 Sitcom. Setting: Quiet suburban neighborhood. Scout is the rambunctious youth that always trying to get his dad's (Soldier's) attention. Soldier is too busy trying to get Scout's mom to leave the Frenchfag she's with (Spy), and therefore has little to no time to play ball with his only offspring. Heavy is Scout's uncle and gladly takes the place of Soldier when needed. He happens to be in love with Medic, Scout's pediatrician. Medic, when he's not fucking around with Uncle Heavy, does regular prostate exams on Scout. No one talks about this. Sniper is Scout's next door neighbor who's always grumbling and telling Scout to shut the fuck up and stop talking so loud all the damn time. He's very sad and lonely, probably, and he constantly mentions the name of a woman he was probably married to. (Or maybe it was just that his pet cat died.) He’s also the school’s janitor., and that one guy everyone knows who goes hunting a lot and probably has an extreme amount of animal heads on their walls. Engi e is Scout’s shop class teacher, and they have a very close relationship because he’s a cool dude. He’s got the hots for Sniper, but doesn’t really talk to people from the janitorial area. Every few episodes are about Engie and his suppressed sexuality for someone who picks up garbage for a living. Pyro is Scout’s best friend at school, and even though it’s really hard to understand him his dad has some really cool fireworks and stuff! And, uh, Demo is Scout’s family’s maid I guess. He tells Scout lots of good information in the form of a funny story. Scout's an idiot so he doesn't get the life lessons to be learned from it at all. ---- EPISODE ONE The first episode opens with Scout hitting his baseball against the side of his house out in the backyard, with Soldier visible talking animatedly on the phone (presumably to Scout's mother). He slams down the phone after a bit and fucking kicks the back door open and says to Scout "YOU MAGET, I'M TRYING TO TALK TO YOUR LOVELY MOTHER ON THE PHONE. SHUT THE FUCK UUUUP." And then he goes back inside and dials a sex hotline instead. Scout places his baseball on the ground where he knows Soldier will fall over it later and goes to visit his friend Pyro. On the way there he finds creepy neighbor Sniper watering his plants which are already dead. Scout says hi and waves, to which Sniper grumbles and waves in a slightly retarded manner. The camera cuts to the inside of Sniper's house with an ominous shot of his fridge. WHAT COULD BE IN THERE? Scout gets to his friend Pyro's house and knocks on the door, where a man in a hazmat suit (pyro's father), answers. He says "hudda" and calls Pyro down from upstairs. Scout and Pyro go to the local park and sit around talking about the finer things in life, but neither of them have any idea what that's supposed to mean so they just end up talking about boobs and ass. They see their teacher Engie shopping at the local supermarket and decide to egg his car. He threatens to fail them for the term, and upon arriving at home after yelling at his favorite teacher, Scout discovers that his mother and her new boyfriend Spy are coming over for dinner. Soldier drinks heavily and decides to hire a maid to make Scout's mother jealous. Little does he know the only maid available from the local agency is a certain black Scottish cyclops... ---- EPISODE TWO The second episode open with Soldier, Scout, and Demoman standing in their living room. Demoman is wearing a modest outfit complete with a frilly apron, something he confesses is "a company standard". Scout tries not to laugh and ends up snorting, to which Soldier replies by stepping on his foot sharply. Basically, Demoman has no choice but to wear the apron. Not only is he the only male, he's the only black person for miles. Scout, after laughing into the palm of his hand as Demo and Soldier talk about cleaning negotiations, runs out of the house and trips over the baseball he placed in the previous episode. He conks his head on the floor and curses loudly, prompting Sniper to yell back. "WAVE GOODBYE TO YER HEAD, WANKAH." Soldier requests that Demoman dress like a woman for just this one night, so that Scout's mom will become jealous of the charming cleaning lady. Demo is hesitant at first, and although he is fairly experienced with wearing a maid's uniform he's unsure of the moral boundaries he'd be crossing. "You like black women, boyo?" Soldier scratches the back of his head. "Now I do." Scout wakes up in his backyard, not shocked at all that his father had neglected to give him the proper medical treatment for a conked head. He decides to take a trip to the doctor's office to make sure he hasn't suffered another concussion, and on the way spies his uncle Heavy driving towards the house. Heavy pulls over. "Where is baby nephew going at this time of day?" "Oh, I hit my fuckin' head and dad doesn't give a shit. He's busy with that black maid of ours." "Black maid?! In this teeny town?!" Heavy speeds off, presumably to look at the first black person he's ever seen in his life. Scout curses his whole existence and begins the 5 mile trek to the doctor's office. Meanwhile, Soldier was busy explaining to Demo exactly what he wanted to happen during dinner. Demo would dress as a woman and act as such, attempting to make Scout's mother extremely jealous. Seducing that scumbag Frenchie, Spy, wasn't out of the question, and Soldier was prepared to pay extra if that actually did happen. Demo takes a swig from his flask and prepares himself for a long night. Heavy busts into the kitchen and grabs Soldier in a bear hug. "Brother! I heard you had black woman!" He spies Demo and gets quiet. "Oh. He just black." Soldier nods and Demo takes another swig. Cut scene to Scout in Medic's office, sitting on the examination table. Scout is listing his problems in life, and despite the fact that Medic doesn't have a degree in psychology he seems to know exactly what's wrong with Scout: he needs a prostate exam. Scout sighs, takes off his pants, and bends over. The camera pans to a picture of Heavy on Medic's desk, complete with a kiss mark on it. This is the first we see of Heavy's infatuations. Cut to a few hours later, as Scout reaches his home. He opens the door and sees Demo dressed in a maid's outfit. Heavy is there, presumably for moral support, and Soldier is squeezing a stress ball. A car pulls into the driveway. Spy and Scout's mother exit and begin walking to the house. ---- EPISODE THREE Episode three opens at Soldier’s dinner table. Heavy is at the bathroom, and Demo is happily serving everyone their respective dinners. Scout and his mother are already engaged in friendly conversation, and he is telling her about the happenings of the past few days. He doesn’t mention the times Soldier has failed to pay attention to him, and as a result is forced to talk about only the time he’s spent with Pyro. He tells her about their hijinks with his collection of flame-retardant suits, zippo lighters, and Sniper’s bushes. Scout’s mother tells him not to bother that poor man, but she’s obviously tickled by their escapades. Meanwhile, Heavy has come back and has asked Spy about the finer points of French cuisine. He listens with rapt attention as Soldier pretends to gag loudly every time Spy answers. Cut to a shot of Sniper’s living room, where he’s seen looking out the window into Soldier’s kitchen. He’s got his aviators on even though it’s dark out, and he looks very angry. The phone rings, and he has no choice but to stop being a voyeur. Engie is on the phone, and asks Sniper if he wants to go out to get some drinks since it’s a Friday. Sniper declines immediately, saying that it’s Anne’s birthday and hangs up without waiting for an answer. He sighs and rubs his temples as the camera pans to his fireplace, where the bottom of a picture frame is visible. It’s unclear as to what the picture is of. Fade to a shot of the Pyro family at the dinner table. Pyro’s mother and father are both in their hazmat suits, and they are all speaking to each other animatedly. Nothing they say is understandable. Fade back to Soldier’s house, Demo is asking if anyone wants some coffee. Spy just stares. Demo repeats his question in the same fake falsetto he’s been using throughout the episode. Spy made an offhand comment to Scout’s mother about how any woman who isn’t her is horrid. Scout’s mother laughs, but silently apologizes to Demo when Spy’s back is turned. It’s clear that he’s a total prick. Spy decides it’s time for them to leave and goes to start the car. He says goodbye to Soldier grudgingly, squeezing his hand in an unfriendly manner. Soldier does the same, grinding his teeth as he says thank you for coming. Heavy then gives Spy a big bear hug, seeming to be blissfully unaware of the rivalry going on between him and Soldier. Spy then says goodbye to Scout and pats him on the head, who responds by wrinkling his nose at him. Spy exits. Scout hugs his mother for a long time before helping Heavy clear the table, since Demo seems to have disappeared. Soldier meets up with Scout’s mother at the door and pats her on the Soldier, exchanging tender words with her. She shakes her head and brushes his hand away gently, offering him a small but sad hug. She gets into the car and drives away with Spy. Soldier leans against the doorframe and watches them, and Scout pats him on the shoulder comfortingly. Soldier hugs Scout and begins to cry loudly. Cut to a shot of the bathroom, where Heavy has just discovered Demo passed out on the toilet. ---- EPISODE FOUR Episode four is geared toward Engie and Sniper. Scout is being reprimanded in gym class for rough behavior. He says that he was just trying to do some good for the team, but the gym teacher is forced to remind him that punching someone so hard that they puke is not beneficial to the team. Pyro giggles in the background and quickly quiets down when the gym teacher shoots him a look before going off to call the janitor. Sniper receives the call on his radio outside of Engie’s shop class. Engie looks out into the hallway when he hears the muffled radio and the sound of Sniper walking towards the gym. Sniper grumbles as he picks up a piece of paper someone had thrown in the hallway, saying to himself that he hopes Scout didn’t use his “puke-punch†maneuver again. Engie walks to the door of his room and waves to Sniper. Sniper sort of waves and adjusts his aviators. Engie asks Sniper how it’s going. Sniper replies that it’s shitty. Engie isn’t quite sure what to say after this, and retreats into his room after becoming thoroughly embarrassed. He looks at the heart he welded for Sniper earlier in the day. It’s made of spare care mufflers and a couple ashtrays. He puts it away in his desk and rubs his forehead. Fade to Sniper in the gym, mopping up the puke. Scout has been sentenced to help him, but isn’t doing much. He stands there with his arms crossed and whistles. Sniper doesn’t seem to care. Scout sneaks away and a punching noise is heard, following by the sound of another kid retching onto the floor. After Scout is sent home for being an asshole, Sniper sneaks back into his janitorial closet. Since Engie has a free period he goes to visit. The closet is cramped but Engie walks in anyway and talks to Sniper about the weather. Sniper stares at Engie and says nothing. Engie finally asks how Anne is and Sniper gets a faraway look in his eyes. Engie waits for a minute and feels very bad about asking. He then discovers that Sniper has fallen asleep with his eyes open. Cue a scene of Engie pulling into his driveway and getting out of the car, only to be egged lovingly by Scout and Pyro. Engie chases them off and watches them run away laughing, where they high five. They then try to low five, but Scout misses and hits Pyro in the stomach so hard he throws up into his mask. EPISODE FIVE Scout’s mother and Spy are sitting in their fancily decorated living room. Scout’s mom is reading the paper while Spy is playing piano. Scout’s mom makes a comment about wanting to see her son more often, which causes Spy to mess up and slam his fingers on the keyboard evil-overlord-playing-the-organ style. He turns around very slowly, furiously taking drags from his cigarette. Scout’s mom doesn’t seem to notice or care. Meanwhile Scout and Pyro are in shop class working on their next big project. Engie is helping some of the kids who are having a difficult time, and there is also a shot of Sniper outside cutting the grass. Scout and Pyro start to giggle obnoxiously and glance back at Engie every so often as though doing something awful, so he goes over to their table to see what they were doing. Engie isn’t really surprised to find that they had welded a metal dick and vagina instead of an ashtray like they were supposed to. He sends them to the principal, but secretly puts the two sculptures into his desk drawer for unknown reasons. Back at Spy’s house he has somehow managed to seduce Scout’s mom once more. There is a shot of them having heated (but PG enough for daytime TV) sex in their Mediterranean style bedroom. Scout and Pyro are in the principal’s (Announcer’s) office. They both sit and look at the floor, twiddling their thumbs. The principal enters from stage left and sits at her desk with her hands folded, smoking a cigar. The camera slowly backs out of the room as the principal begins to speak to them about what they’ve done. Cut to another shot of Spy and Scout’s mom having sex. Cut to a shot of Scout and Pyro exiting the principal’s office, and then to one of them walking home from school. They say nothing and keep their heads low. Cut to a shot of Spy and Scout’s mom (still) having sex, this time in the kitchen. Finally, a shot of Scout returning home and sitting at the kitchen table, laying his head on it. Soldier asks him how his day was and he does not respond. Soldier then balances an apple on Scout’s head so he can have it as a snack later. He then says he’s going to the store to get some booze. He drives to the local strip club instead. One final shot of Scout’s mom and Spy, who are now sharing a nice candlelit dinner. Spy looks smug. Fade to Engie, sitting in his favorite chair and watching TV. He looks out the window suspiciously, and then reaches into his left pocket and takes out the metal vagina Scout created. He takes the metal dick out of the other pocket. He giggles a little bit and sees if they fit together. They do.