>>4 You know, I've read that circle jerks aren't uncommon among teenage boys/young men, straight ones even. I mostly wonder if any of the characters have done that before and if that would have any impact on this situation. Honestly, I think peer pressure isn't a bad way to keep them there. No, Soldier physically wouldn't have been able to keep them all there but the story suggested he'd at least worn down their resistance to his will over time and the reaction of others would affect their own (as evidenced by the embarrassment of being dragged naked into the showers before coupled with their team mates' comments during the current exercise.) Mind you, in all reality most of them probably would have dispersed and made things more awkward for Soldier to deal with but I can ignore that a little for the sake of the idea. Not to mention, we didn't really get to see what was going on in most of their minds. It is possible some of them were gay or bisexual and this was one way to indulge without exposing themselves. That said, I know the Spy and Sniper's reaction broke that notion so the story goes on the fridge logic of "everyone is secretly okay with gay/bi/what have you" that a number of porn stories go with. This isn't original nor is it realistic but unless a story wants to address persecution, glossing over it is common when avoiding it directly isn't possible. Otherwise it would derail the whole thing. YMMV as to whether or not this story can get by with that. I confess I was willing to suspend disbelief mostly because I really wanted to see the circle jerk happen. Others might not be able to get past that. So, no, this isn't terribly fresh (other than the fact I don't think I've read any fanfiction with actual orgies, though I've seen fanart for it) but I enjoyed it myself and I thought it was at least slightly more realistic than everyone suddenly jumping into bed together. I liked Soldier's characterization. I did recognize some of the lines from the game (and of course the Meet the Soldier video), some of the ones too delicious to truly avoid, but I didn't think all of his responses were. I especially chuckled when Soldier suggested they spy-check first. That made my day. The only thing I would say is that, in spite of screaming his head off on the battlefield, I don't think Soldier yells 24 hours a day. He yells a lot and frequently but the comics and the Meet the videos have shown him in his quieter moments. Even two of his voice responses have him not yelling, though they are specific instances (muttering for one and suddenly dropping in pitch, as an aside almost, for the other. Former being a simple "yeah" response and the latter being a Pyro domination, if I remember correctly.) That said, I could see him being loud in this instance, especially to be heard over the showers later, but I mention it as a matter of future reference. The man's lungs need a rest now and then. I also doubt he is constantly exerting his will. A lot of the time, yes, but not always. I thought Engie was especially cute, poor man. Poor most of them but at least they enjoyed it in the end. Like Tare, I was pleased that Yami did try to show everyone's interactions, though I feel that more of their reactions could have been shown overall. I realize with so many characters that can be difficult to do. I also just realized, as cliche as it might be, it would've been hilarious if Soldier managed to light up a cigar and tell them they all deserved medals afterwards! Especially considering everyone would wonder where was he keeping them the whole time and how were they not wet? But that's me being silly and it is perhaps a groan-worthy joke. I hope you write more, Yami. I can't think of much to help you from a technical aspect. Sorry about that. I hope you get more ideas or consider taking up more of the prompts in the request thread. Even if you don't, I wish you well. You'll improve if you keep at it and I hope more people can give you better crit than I have given.