I most likely will not continue reading. Your grammar was alright. Couple of typos, but nothing all that bad. The use of second perspective is interesting, but it muddles what is happening to whom somewhat at the beginning. The sudden escalation of events in the second half of this part caught me off guard. To be honest, I came into the story believing rape would be the trigger for this amnesic episode. There are a lot of shifts in characters and their traits that I find uncomfortable. I guess I don't know how amnesia would affect people's personality traits, but I find it disturbing that the Scout didn't fight the Sniper's advances off, given what had recently happened to him. Furthermore, if the Sniper is supposed to be a caring boyfriend, why would he be forcing this act on the Scout? I would not be surprised to find out that the Sniper was previously not in a relationship at all with the Scout, given this seedy turn. Or, worse yet, caused the condition. I'd give crap about the Medic being a neglectful doctor, but he is a bit bird-brained, canonically, so I could give you wiggle room there. I'm sorry. I don't think you're fucked up. I think we differ on interpretations of personalities, and it's causing me grief.