STOP, WARNING: This is an extremely dark story and contains severe rape triggers. Seriously, This is a horrible story, it's pure rape. You vaguely wonder how you came to be in this situation. A thousand miles from home, actually probably more. You weren't sure exactly where you were to be honest. Yet somehow you know this is where you belong. You're in a military base. Your training was grueling, yet you seem to have forgotten a huge chunk of it- all of it really. You only know that it was a horrible experience, but you can't really recall why. And now you're waking up, as if waking from a dream. You expect yourself to be back in the comfort of your own home, but realize that's not the case. The bed you're sleeping on is rough and uncomfortable. Stretching your arms over your head with a yawn, you toss off the covers and swing your legs over the edge of the bed. You're not sure where you're supposed to be. Your mind toys with the idea that maybe you hit your hit and are now suffering from amnesia. That idea, however, seems all too possible, now that you think of it. If you expected to be in your own room, why can't you recall what your own room looks like? Who are you, anyway? You glance down and peek in your pants, and although it's pretty obvious, it seems you're just now discovering that you are male. "Hello?" You call out, your voice sounds foreign and strange, like it's change, but you can't remember how it's supposed to sound. So this must be normal. A strange sense of terror grips you. You can't recall your name, where you are, what you're doing here, or even if you're in a safe place. You know that you're in some sort of military base, somewhere. You don't know what war you've been fighting, though. Glancing around the room, you notice piles of paper everywhere, and strange devices. Old syringes and... You're in a doctor's office? A hospice bay? You know about these things, but you can't recall HOW you know, where you've seen them, if you've ever been in one before. "Hello?" You call out again, but this time someone hears you. "Vhat? Oh! You're awake!" A tall man with sharp features and dark brown hair enters your vision, and you turn to look at him. He's wearing red latex gloves, comically oversized for his hands, and a white lab coat. His accent sounds German. Germany? You shake your head, opening your mouth to say something, but you're not sure what to say. "Lay back down." The doctor orders, and you obey. "You suffered a nasty accident." He states, and you shake your head, not sure what accident he was talking about. "How are you feeling?" It seems like this guy knows you, and that you should know him, but you don't. "Doctor, I... I can't remember anything." You manage to spit out. He seems a bit stunned at this news. "Nothing? What's your name?" "I don't know..." "You seriously don't know?" You shake your head. "Do you know where you are? Do you know who I am?" You shake your head again to each of his questions, and the doctor lets out a defeated sigh. "I've never seen these side effects from respawn before..." You are about to ask what he's talking about, respawn, when he stands and declares. "I'll need to do some tests on you later. Maybe you should try talking to your team mates and see if they stir up any memories. Tell me right away if you remember anything." You swallow hard, for some reason afraid of wandering the place alone, since you can't remember the layout of it at all. "Relax, it's not a huge place," he says, seeming to sense your trepidation. "Let's just hope the effects are reversible..." His insecurity makes you insecure. You hate not remembering anything. Then you get scared when you can't remember ever hating anything, and more scared when you can't remember being scared before. The doctor ushers you from the bed and you obey. "Hurry, hurry. I have lots of work to do." You nod and make your way towards a door. "Where are you going? The exit's that way." You nod stupidly, turning around and heading towards the other door. Standing outside is another man, wearing a large hat and big sunglasses. He leans against the wall, tapping his foot. "You're awake!" He exclaims when he sees you exit. You're stunned into paralysis as he nearly knocks you over with the force of his hug. Your own arms hang limply around by your side, and you feel awkward at his show of affection, since he was a complete stranger to you. The man senses something wrong and pulls back. "You're... you are okay... right?" You stare at him with a dazed look, and the door opens behind you again. "Medic! He's okay, isn't he?" "I'm afraid he has suffered sever memory loss... I know this may be hard for-" "Memory loss? You mean like amnesia?" The doctor nods, and the other man turns to face you again. "You... you don't remember me?" You shake your head, feeling a twinge of pain in sympathy for him. He seems severly upset that you don't, and you honestly wish you could, but try as you might, it feels like you're reaching for smoke. "But... You and I... after all that... Come on, you have to remember! Look into my eyes, mate..." "Sniper, you'll only make this harder on both if you trying to force the memories to return. Please, make him feel safe. He's probably terrified, and hopefully this is just temporary. I'll ask Engineer to take a look at the respawn machinery to see if something is amiss... for the mean time, please try not to cause any more damage." The man- was his name really Sniper?- nodded in defeat. "Alright... Come on scout..." It takes you a moment to realize that he's talking to you. "Scout..." The medic interrupts. "Yes. That's not you're real name, it's just a code name. The administrator prefers us not to reveal our true identities, for legal reasons." This little bit of information is utterly confusing to you, so you give up on trying to decipher what he means and instead just imprint into your mind that people around here will be calling you Scout. "He doesn't even remember his name?" The medic nods solemnly, and Sniper's shoulders slump. "Alright... Let's go uh... see if we can get those memories to come back..." He says, attempting optimism, but ending up sounding sad instead. You nod in agreement. He leads you down a couple halls, and stops at an unassuming door. "This... this your room." He speaks, then says something under his breath you can't hear. He opens the door and steps in, you following closely behind him. The place is a mess. Dirty clothes scattered everywhere, trash and candy wrappers litter the place, and it smells of sweat. There's a box spilling little rectangular pieces of paper, and you bend down to pick one up. There's a picture on one side of a baseball player, and a short entry about his batting average and everything. Once again, you struggle to comprehend how you can know OF baseball, but not know anything about it. You glance around the room again, and it finally dawns on you. This is YOUR room. You LIVE in this squalor. It's strange to think that you, who finds this mess atrocious, were not too long ago perfectly content with the way it is. Or maybe you won't... Either way it's disgusting, and you feel gross imagining yourself sleeping here. The smell is enough to churn your stomache. Sniper moves over to the bed and your eyes follow him. "It's so weird... you're not acting at all like you. You're so quiet..." You feel a twinge of your own pain, and for some reason find yourself wanting to comfort him, but before you can he stands suddenly, and you jump. "Come on Scout..." You follow behind him, vaguely thinking of yourself as an obedient dog, following him around and obeying his every word, and that somehow disturbs you. Where you always that way? What was this man to you? Were you related? Out in the hall, you force yourself to speak up. "Are you... are you like... my brother or something?" Sniper stops dead in his tracks, fists clenching. "Scout... I was... no- am. I'm more than a brother to you... You're... We're..." "Are we... lovers?" You ask curiously. "Yes." You know that most people don't usually feel attraction towards the same gender, yet you can't seem to have your own opinion on it. "That's why you're so upset, isn't it?" The sniper in front of you nods. "I'm sorry... I'm sorry, I can't feel... I don't..." "No! Don't be sorry, this isn't your faut. You'll get your memory back... Don't worry." His hand goes up to his face, and you can't see with his back to you, but you imagine him wiping away a tear, and it sends your heart fluttering. "I'm sorry..." You say again, feeling upset at having caused him this much pain. He turns and looks at you, his eyes bloodshot. The look scares you, rooting you to the spot. "Scout... It's you but... it's not you..." You take a step back as he advances, then another, then your back is against the wall and he's practically pressing you into it. You stare up in fear, too afraid to protest. "You'd never let yourself get pinned like this..." he says. One hand goes to the wall beside your head to steady himself, and the other you can feel caressing up your side. The touches give you shivers, and you have a hard time discerning whether you like it or not. Then his lips are at yours. His eys are closed, but yours are open in shock as his tongue forces your lips open. You stand there, still as a statue as the man forces himself onto you, his body now flush against yours. Your lips part, and you suddenly remember to breath. "Do you remember now? Do you remember how we used to kiss just like that..." You're too shocked to reply. "Please... remember me. Touch me back, something!" He grabs your hand and places it on his crotch, and you feel his soft flesh inside his pants. It stirs at your touch. You don't want this, but you're too scared of hurting him more by saying no. From his words, you used to do this all the time. How could you say no? You'd said yes before... The sniper is panting, staring into your eyes. You look up at him with a blank look, still not speaking. "Please! Do something, say something, anything!" He suddenly pleads, and you do the only thing you can think of. Your hand moves seemingly on its own accord, still pressed against his manhood, and you begin massaging him. "Is this... what I'm supposed to do?" The man leans his head down, his hot breath coursing over your neck. His own hand starts to wander up your sides again, hitching in the hem of your shirt, then slipping underneath it. Despite your terror, your own breaths grow ragged. You know you don't really want this, but you should be. In your lost and eerily dark mind, you try to grasp on to the small sense of belonging, trying to bring it closer. But it just doesn't feel right. You DON'T like this... but now the man's fingers are flicking over a sensitive spot on your chest, and you hear a small moan escape your lips. It urges the man on, and you feel his penis twitch in his pants. "Are you remembering it now... how good I used to make you feel?" You don't respond, but he seems to take your silence as an affirmation, and suddenly tugs at your arm. "My room's just over here, come on..." He leads you towards another door and practically shoves you inside, then throws you onto your back. You land on a soft, slightly springy bed, and then he's on top of you, lips clashing once again. Your eyes stay open wide, and it's almost like you're a drone, silently accepting everything that happens to you. And now his shirt is gone, and he's pulling yours over your head... TO BE CONTINUED ~ I'm really fucked up, aren't I?
I am intrigued. Continue.
I most likely will not continue reading. Your grammar was alright. Couple of typos, but nothing all that bad. The use of second perspective is interesting, but it muddles what is happening to whom somewhat at the beginning. The sudden escalation of events in the second half of this part caught me off guard. To be honest, I came into the story believing rape would be the trigger for this amnesic episode. There are a lot of shifts in characters and their traits that I find uncomfortable. I guess I don't know how amnesia would affect people's personality traits, but I find it disturbing that the Scout didn't fight the Sniper's advances off, given what had recently happened to him. Furthermore, if the Sniper is supposed to be a caring boyfriend, why would he be forcing this act on the Scout? I would not be surprised to find out that the Sniper was previously not in a relationship at all with the Scout, given this seedy turn. Or, worse yet, caused the condition. I'd give crap about the Medic being a neglectful doctor, but he is a bit bird-brained, canonically, so I could give you wiggle room there. I'm sorry. I don't think you're fucked up. I think we differ on interpretations of personalities, and it's causing me grief.
I'm interested. I agree that things escalated a little quickly though. I'd have been much more interested to see Scout interact with the rest of his team he doesn't remember than see Sniper immediately violate him. Honestly I like the idea of Sniper lying through his teeth about their previous relationship just to take advantage of Scout. But those are personal preferences. I don't think you're fucked up by the way, it could have (and has) gotten a lot worse. I'll keep reading.
Scout and Sniper....lovers? nigga pls, i only find it to be spyXsniper only no more read from, sry
your reason for not reading is you don't like the pairing. cool, bye. sorry for not being a conformist. as for the reasons behind the actions of sniper, being in the second person pov, they're supposed to be mysterious. i did some research and read some first hand accounts of amnesia and the effects it has on the victim's friends and lovers, but i can admit to escalating things a tad too quick. i tend to do that a lot when writing, especially with short stories. @df 38, who said anything about caring.
Hello dear. First of all, i have to be honest and say that i can't help you with grammar/spelling mistakes (you probably will find a lot of these in my comment, hehe). Sowiie. Aaaand that i will say to ya it’s not to daunt you and stop your future works. Every one who wants to write strange (but well-made) stories with rape/noncon is welcomed by me. If you want to work with rape fanfics(especially with my favourite sex toy: Scout), you have my praise. But i have somethin' to say about the plot. I mean, i really don't know why you chose to put this story in first person for the reader, and at the same time make Scout the "main" character (in a lack of a better term). We aren't Scout, and we can't think like him. Maybe, wanting us to really dive in the story, you are doing the in our pov+ amnesia to make this whole dive thing work? I don't know, but at this first chapter, i don't think it's working. Let's say there's too many elements you want to explore that aren't mixing well (Scout's amnesia+ reader's first person+ Scout being the protagonist+rape/disturbing content). Maybe? Another thing: the progress is going too unnatural. Even if we look at Sniper as a monster, a liar who are talking advantage of Scout's amnesia to have sexual favors (hey, this is hot...)or an opportunist lover that, even before the amnesia stuff, just wanted sex, even if he had to pretend he was a nice, loving person, i hardly believe things would happen like "oh, you are wake! I'm so worried omg lets bang now, touch me". I think if you had worked on Sniper's characterization through some more chapters, taking things in a more convincing and slow pace, it would look a lot more sexy, intriguing and even, like you say, "fucked up". It gets worse if Sniper is actually a true lover...can't think of a worried boyfriend that is practically demanding sex from a person that just suffered a major physical and/or mental trauma... The same goes to Scout...the extremely-helpless-stuff is kind of OOC when it comes to Scout. Well, maybe it’s not that strange if we look that he has currently zero mental energy due to the high loss of memory, but along with the reader’s first person (and that the fanfic is not doing a good job in make us feel the same way), it’s pretty odd. I hope this helps ya… good luck.
I really do like this so far. The concept is very captivating, me being a big fan of SniperxScout. I like your writing, and even the bit of vagueness and fast-paced movement of the writing is interesting. Only dislike: The first-person thing. Besides that, flawless.
Just a nitpick--This is second person, not first, gang. Anyway, I'll read on for sure; the concept is pretty intriguing.
I really appreciate all the concrit guys, thanks. This is the sort of stuff that makes me become a better writer. I went with second person not as a way to draw the reader into being scout, but just as an exploration for myself to see how well I could do with it, and also as a story telling tool. I am going to defend myself though against the claims of scout being OOC. When someone suffers from amnesia, they wake up literally a shell of a human being. Not like a newborn, because they have knowledge of the world around them. Personalities and the way people react to situations all stem from previous experience and memories. "Nevertheless, PTA is not due to an inability to register information, for immediate recall may be intact whereas short- and long term memory remain compromised (Squire, 1992; Yarnell & Lynch, 1970, 1973). Although patients are responsive and may interact somewhat appropriately with their environment, they may continue to have difficulty consolidating and transfering information from immediate to short to longer term memory. However, the PTA may not be global, and may be selective for verbal vs visual material, or inclusive of both whereas motor and emotional learning may remain intact. " ANYWAY, not trying to throw off the concrit, just sayin. Here, have some story. You bite your lower lip as your mind screams at you to do something, tell him that this isn't what you want, stop him, anything. But you're too scared. You're not sure what you should be scared of, but you just know this is a situation you should be scared in. It's a strange thought, and when you come back to reality, you can see the Sniper above you has stopped, his body heaving with sobs. You wiggle uncomfortably, eager to have your shirt back on. The sniper notices and jumps off, sitting on the edge of the bed. "This isn't what I meant to happen... It wasn't supposed to be like this..." His face is wet with tears. You reach for your shirt and slip into it, sitting up beside him, but a safe distance away from him. You're not sure what to say. "Sorry... I shouldn't have done that..." The sniper apologizes, and then stands. "I'm not being mean but... I wanna be alone right now." He says, gesturing towards the door. Despite what he said, even after what he just tried to do, you feel hurt at being kicked out, like it was your fault. Not knowing any better, you let your mind think that, and walk out with a distressed look on your face. Then you just stand in the hall looking confused. You aren't sure where to go now. You can't really remember which way your room was, and you didn't fancy the idea of popping your head into each room you passed to find out. You pick a direction, though, and start walking blindly, trying to recollect your thoughts, piecing together what you know. You know your name is Scout, and that you work for some military base. You suffered an accident while... doing something. You still haven't figured that part out. The accident, coupled with something called 'respawn' has left you with no memories to speak of. Today you woke up in a hospital-like room to be greeted by someone who went by the name of 'Medic.' The careless doctor ushered you into the arms of an emotionally unstable man, who then attempted to molest you. You didn't have any memory on how one should act when faced with a love losing their memory (and you doubted you would even if you hadn't lost your memory) but Sniper's reaction seemed a tad dramatic, even if you were, supposedly, lovers. Was it Sniper that had caused the accident? After what had happened, you felt angry at him, and had no trouble placing the blame on the man. You wondered if you ever got your memory back, would you still feel angry at him? That thought you quickly pushed aside, as it already beckoned you into an infinite circle of thought, and you'd rather not get lost in your thoughts. As you walk by a window, you stop to look outside, your heart fluttering at the sight. You could see miles and miles, out towards the horizon. Nothing but a huge expanse of red-orange sand and rock. You spot a snake crawling along the bottom of a fence, slithering occasionally through the holes in it, and stare in fascination. Since you couldn't remember ever seeing anything like this before, it was a truly amazing thing to behold. You are jarred back inside when you hear footsteps, and turn your head to see a giant of a man rounding the corner. You cant remember how tall you are, but compared to this man, you feel like an ant. You try to make yourself small to avoid being spotted, only to realize how rediculous that idea is. "Scout is okay!" The man said in a heavy accent, his voice deep with a heavy growl to it that jarred your bones. "No..." you say timidly. You try to expand, but his presence effectively silences you. "Speak up! Can't hear when you speak so quiet!" You shake your head instead. "Scout not okay?" He says, sounding utterly confused. You nod again. "Something is wrong... Scout not act like self..." "I..." you swallow your fear. It doesn't seem like the man is here to hurt you... "I lost my memory." You state. It sounds so simple out loud, but the entire thing is one of the worst experiences in your life. "Memory...?" He says, puzzled. Obviously his english isn't all that great. "I uh... I can't remember anything." "You remember talking, da?" The man says stubbornly. You get a little aggravated, once again marking down a first experience. "I mean... like..." you sigh, trying to find easy words to explain it to the big brute. "Like, I can't remember my name, or who you are, or anything I've done before today." "Sounds scary. Is Scout okay?" he asks again, but this time it seems like he actually understands what's going on. You shake your head. "Uh, what's your name?" "Introductions, yes! Name is Heavy! You are Scout!" You smile a bit at his joke. At least, you think he's joking. "Heavy. Uh... we are friends?" You ask uncertainly. "Scout is credit to team. Would gladly be friend!" You smile, glad to have the big guy on your side. "Uhm... Do you know Sniper?" He nods. "You remember him?" "No... He was..." You stop, thinking that if you were lovers, that you might have kept it a secret from everyone else. So then, did you tell him about Sniper's actions? Maybe his words weren't entirely true, now that you think about it. You shake your head. "Nevermind." Until you learn more, you better not reveal something you might regret. You aren't sure if he knows or not, or how he'll react if it's a new discovery. You weren't sure how to react yourself... "Who else is here?" You ask instead. Heavy grins. "I give tour! Is like you are new recruit!" The man's giant, meaty hand comes down on his back, in a painful pat that was surely nothing but soft for the man, and you bear it as a friendly gesture. He begins to lead you down the hall until the architecture changes into something more open. A large table that can easily fit ten people, with plenty of space for each of them. Chairs circled the table, and behind the table was a counter, which changed into a kitchen. You instinctively know that this is the dining room. Or a mess hall, as it would be called in a military base. You ponder the knowledge. It's definitely the first time you remember ever seing anything like this in real life, but it's like... like textbook knowledge. Yeah, that's a good way to describe it. Working in the kitchen is a thin, masked man wearing a pin-striped suit. He's bent over the stove, cooking something that smells utterly delectible. Heavy leans down and attempts to speak quietly, although his voice is still large and booming. "That one is Spy. Watch self around him, he is... how you say... shaded?" You're unfamiliar with the term yourself, but don't comment on it. Instead you observe the man cooking before he speaks up. "I heard that, Heavy. It's 'shady' by the way." He turns around and nods towards the Scout. "You have lost your memory, no?" The man certainly lives up to his name for having figured that out. Or maybe word just spread quickly around the base. Something about the man's grin held evil intent, and you were eager to get away from him. "Tell me, how is Sniper taking the news?" He asked like he already knew the answer, so you don't bother replying. "Do you even know why you lost your memory?" You shake your head, and realize suddenly that this man does know, and you are eager to get the answers out of him. "You know something, don't you!" You speak quickly. "Oui, I do." "Well, tell me! What happened to me?" "Ah, maybe later. I'm kind of busy at the moment." He says, an evil sneer on his face as he turned back to cooking. Your opinion of this one is of annoyance, but in a different way than when you were aggravated at Heavy for not understanding. The difference should normally be obvious, but it's the first time you've had to consciously differ between the two emotions. "Let's go Scout. Spy is playing games." "Y...yeah." You agree, turning to follow him through another doorway on the other side of the dining room. The tour is short, and you meet several more people along the way. There was Engineer, who was too busy working on his machines to talk long, only wishing you luck in getting your memory back. A soldier who was doing push ups when they found him, and gruffly ordered you to take the day off. Then there was Demo, who was too far in drink for you to understand. Heavy stopped as you exited the base into sweltering heat. "That is whole team, entire base! Well... Not knowing where pyro is." "Pyro?" You ask curiously, and Heavy nods. "Never came back from battle. Sniper and Pyro and you all have bad accident, Doctor says." You realize he's trying to ask you about what happened the other day, and you shake your head. "Sorry, I don't remember what happened." This is news to you though. You, the Sniper, and they Pyro were all in some sort of accident (why will no one tell you what happened?) and sniper was the only one who came out unharmed. Pyro never even returned. "Hey, uh... Heavy. What's 'resapwn'?" You ask him and the guy shrugs. "Is complicated, not understand. Keeps you alive when you die." "Like... life support?" You struggle to bring up the word for it, but he shakes his head. "Is like word, You die, then come back to life." You know such a thing is impossible, so he must just not be good enough at english to describe what it is, and forget about it for now, deciding to ask someone else later on. Out of all the people you've met so far, there only seems to be one person who could fill you in on what might have happened. "Heavy, can you show me back to the Doctor's room?" TO BE CONTINUED So as I wrote this, I suddenly found myself writing in third person. I went back and fixed it, but then I did it again, and again. So if the pov suddenly changes... my bad. It should be fine though...
Even if Sniper/Spy is my otp, it still doesn't stop me from reading other fics starring the other one someone else. I really like this idea of Scout getting raped when he can't remember a thing. I'd also like to see the dark side of the Sniper instead of him being desperate and sad. Like some others, I love the idea of him pretending to be worried. But if that's not the case, then fine. I don't assume you to take ideas from us, though. If you're already following a script, then stick to it if you think it's for the best. I'm interested to see where this is going.
>>3 I was expecting what you said to be the twist. Sniper would reveal that he never was in a relationship with Scout and just manipulating him for sex
You have my attention...