>>17 Another storytelling option is to leave Medic's confession to Heavy about her trans status 'til later (as you've done) - but be sure to drop in some mentions of Medic looking uneasy or being about to tell Heavy something and backing out at the last second. She surely can't be too calm about it with the issue of children hanging overhead. Or if she's already told Heavy, make a flashback reference to it. Don't leave us in the dark, let us know how things stand between them! You mentioned Heavy's gay - he can't be adjusting too well to the idea that his partner is a woman. In any case, please use 'she','her' etc if Medic's trans. If just changing pronouns suddenly feels too abrupt, you could use a short scene mental monologue scene with Medic thinking Deep Serious Thoughts as an opportunity to switch pronouns. >>7 Rather than having Marie describe herself as compassionate, kind, etc, you might have her fondly adjust a desk photograph of one of the kids she cares for, or wave goodbye to one of the children with a smile. This would prevent the sense of forced dialogue when Marie describes herself, instead of letting her actions do that. Alternatively you could also leave Marie's self-description in, but include a backstory reason for it. For example, if people who met her had often heard of Helen first and were inclined to judge her, she might try to defend herself. Marie could mention a past meeting with another TF2 character (the Civilian, maybe?) where said character judged her on her sister's merits. I admire your attitude, keep it up!