"We talked, okay?" "That is lie." Heavy squinted down at the nervous, twitchy little BLU bundle of over-caffeinated hormones that was cowering before him. Scout rolled his eyes and slapped a palm over his face in frustration. "ALRIGHT ALRIGHT! JEEZUS!" And he took three steps away from the Russian giant as he tried to collect himself. "I talked. She listened." At this, Heavy's face split to a grin as massive as the rest of him. "HAWHAWHAW! Pyro is not GIRL!" "Hey, hey! Ya don't know that!" Scout shot back defensively. "I just…it's easier, okay? We don't KNOW eitha way so I figger…" "You figger hope Pyro is byootyfull lady under mask! You think, unzip BLU jumper, is playboy playmate!" To Heavy, who was probably the closest thing the Pyro had to a friend, this was a very funny prospect. While Scout was right, and they didn't know for SURE…no Playboy Playmate could do what Pyro did day in and day out. The thought of something silky, seductive, sexy and feminine crawling out of that inhuman and obscene jumpsuit was just…well…comical! "Yeah well the only fuckin' girly mags around heres all has MY MA innem and I ain't about ta go prison queer like Sniper and Spy, okay? So excuse me fer havin' some fuckin' hope, okay!? Ya know what? Fuck this. Fuck this, and fuck you, fatass. Fuck this entire fuckin' conversation. This neva fuckin' happened, ya heah me fatty?!" And he gave the big lug a few "love taps" on the skull with his bat, just to drive the point home, before throwing up his hands in frustration. "Ah FUCK! Imma go fer a fuckin' run." Heavy could only stare in dumbfounded silence through the blood dripping into his eyes as Scout took off sprinting. After a few stunned seconds, he called out after his tiny teammate; "Pyro is in dormitory!" and then laughed loudly once again as he watched the dust trail change direction. [First time writing TF2. I dunno where this is gonna go.]
this is cute! you should write more of it
I like how the Heavy talks
...Go on.
You should write more! It sounds really good so far.