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Fifty Themes: Sniper and Spy (Repost) (13)

1 .

Reposted by popular demand. Enjoy.
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#01 - Comfort
"Ah, mon cher, don't let it get to you so- if your père does not accept you for who you are, zat is his loss."

#02 - Kiss
As much as Spy liked to brag about how experienced a lover he was and how romance was one of his many specialties, the wild, honest, naked passion with which the Australian kissed him never failed to take his breath away.

#03 - Soft
Sniper could run his fingers through Spy's hair for hours and never tire of it.

#04 - Pain
He could recall every time he'd been shot, stabbed, caught in an explosion, bitten, punched, and cut, but none of them hurt like seeing Spy kiss someone else did.

#05 - Potatoes
"Zose awful greasy things are most certainly NOT a gourmet food- I don't care what zey are called, zey were invented in BELGIUM, not France."

#06 - Rain
As little as rain fell on 2Fort, and as easy as it was to see coming, Spy never understood how Sniper always managed to get caught in it- he understood even less why it took him so long to come in from it.

#07 - Chocolate
"I sure's fuck ain't tellin' the rest of th' Team where the Hershey's Syrup went... it was your bloody idea, you do it."

#08 - Happiness
As miserable as Spy's constant cheating made him, Sniper knew he'd be ten times as miserable if they ever broke up.

#09 - Telephone
Hearing quite enough, Spy yanked the receiver out of Sniper's hand and told the old man on the other end of the line just what he could do with his narrow-minded opinions.

#10 - Ears
"They DO stick out a lil', an' it IS cute, an' that's final."

#11 - Name
It wasn't an overly remarkable name, nor a fancy one, but as Sniper whispered his true moniker into Spy's ear, the Frenchman thought it was incredibly precious if only because he was the only one in 2Fort who knew it.

#12 - Sensual
"Don't be afraid, mon cher- I am an experienced enough lover for both of us."

#13 - Death
Not expecting such a harrowing, wrenching reaction to his dead body, Spy promised with guilty sincerity that he'd never use his Dead Ringer to play pranks on Sniper again.

#14 - Sex
It was no use even trying to have a proper row about it- every single one of their big fights started with screaming and thrown objects and death threats and ended naked and panting.

#15 - Touch
"Actually," Spy said, tracing the scar on his lover's cheek with one finger, "it makes you look even more rugged, if possible."

#16 - Weakness
"I... I didn't mean to 'urt you, mon cher, please believe me... I just couldn't 'elp myself."

#17 - Tears
As his lips touched the crystalline droplet and the slight tang of salt hit his tounge, Spy felt a surge of self-loathing that he was the cause of the tears he was kissing away.

#18 - Speed
Spy could only hold on for dear life to the 'oh shit' handle of the beat up camper as Sniper laughed and said 'watch me make the ol' gal do 80!'

#19 - Wind
As punishment for laughing when the sudden gust made off with his prized fedora, Spy had to stay out all night helping Sniper look for it.

#20 - Freedom
"There's nothin' like it on earth, love- livin' on your wits, the sun beatin' down on your shoulders, the wind on your back, trackin' dingoes through the red rocks an' not havin' a soul around for miles an' miles t' judge you."

#21 - Life
"I 'ave no idea 'ow you get along being so nervous around people- I'm beginning to doubt you've ever truly lived."

#22 - Jealousy
Eyeing the BLU Scout's mother through the scope of his rifle, Sniper wished his conscience would shut up long enough for him to pull the trigger.

#23 - Hands
He traced every little scar on his lover's tan skin with a touch as light and soft as a feather made of silk, shivering softly in delight as callused fingertips ran just as light down his own sides.

#24 - Taste
Strawberries, champagne, and whipped cream- good on their own, exquisite when used to flavor the lips-and other things- of eagle-eyed Aussies.

#25 - Devotion
The absoluteness, the depth of feeling that Spy saw reflected in his lover's blue-steel eyes made him feel small, almost unworthy, especially considering what he'd been up to just before he'd come up to the loft.

#26 - Forever
He wanted what Medic and Heavy had so badly he couldn't put it into words.

#27 - Blood
"Sacre Bleu, eizzer patch it up for me yourself or call Medic, but don't lick it- zat's just disturbing."

#28 - Sickness
As the fever finally broke, Spy's expression of relief was unmistakable even as he remarked that this wouldn't have happened if Sniper didn't insist on staying out in the rain.

#29 - Melody
'Waltzing Matilda' had never likely been sung so off-key by anyone, but Spy at least attempting to sing it made Sniper feel less homesick all the same.

#30 - Star
"Number one, mate, you just blew it by tellin' me what it was, an' number two, 'a plate of crepes suzette' is the stupidest wish I've ever heard."

#31 - Home
He wondered where they would go after the war was over- he knew he couldn't handle life in a city as big as Paris, and he was pretty sure that fancy, cultured Spy wouldn't last a week in his beloved, unforgiving Outback.

#32 - Confusion
Spy didn't understand at all- his promiscuity didn't mean he loved Sniper any less.

#33 - Fear
He couldn't remember the panic attack very well later, but he could vaguely recall a smartly dressed blur of red with a hand cannon and a knife, singlehandedly driving the crowd of BLUs off and swearing at them for taking advantage of his lover's agoraphobia.

#34 - Lightning/Thunder
As the rain poured down around them, drenching the parched earth, the lightning fell all around and the thunder roared, they stood in it and kissed passionately as a tiny spark flicked between their lips- and finally, Spy understood.

#35 - Bonds
The rope tightening around his wrists and ankles, Spy made a note never to underestimate Sniper's skills as a hunter ever again.

#36 - Market
Every time he went into town for something the supply train forgot, Sniper asked if anybody wanted anything- and reminded Spy with exasperated annoyance that the general store didn't carry escargot, caviar, or fresh saffron.

#37 - Technology
There was something incredibly, wonderfully, tittilatingly WRONG about fucking while Spy was cloaked.

#38 - Gift
It was probably the worst serving of crepes suzette Spy had ever eaten, but he devoured every bite as if it were prepared by a five-star chef.

#39 - Smile
Sometimes Sniper wondered why he put up with all that Spy put him through... and then the rougish sneak smiled at him, and he remembered.

#40 - Innocence
When Spy suggested 'menage a trois' and got nothing in response but a confused stare over aviators, all he could do was laugh.

#41 - Completion
"Now ZAT," Spy said, panting heavily, "is 'ow you spend a forty-eight hour ceasefire."

#42 - Clouds
It looked like rain again, and they both waited on the roof with anticipation.

#43 - Sky
No matter what else happened, he would never forget the afterglow of that night in the desert under the canopy of billions of stars, meteors shooting overhead as their bodies pressed against each other, sweaty, dizzy, and exhausted from their lovemaking.

#44 - Heaven
"As much as you make it sound like paradise on earth, mon cher, maybe I ought to see this barren red desert of yours."

#45 - Hell
The absolute worst was making love to him when he still smelled of her perfume.

#46 - Sun
"You do realize I char to a crisp and despise the fact you tan so well, oui?"

#47 - Moon
He may have teased Spy about being too pale, but it made the way he looked reclined in the moonlight absolutely ethereal.

#48 - Waves
They'll go to see the ocean once the war is over, they decide, and maybe get a house by the sea if they really like it.

#49 - Hair
"Non," he said, running his fingertips through short, dark brown hair, "leave ze hat off for once."

#50 - Supernova
The end would have come in a great bright burning rush of flame in more agony than he'd care to mention, fading away to some better place where he could run free under blue skies through the never-never forever... but then he heard the tearful voice speaking in French, and though he couldn't understand the words, he knew he was being begged to come back- and for better or worse, he never could say no to Spy.

2 .

First off- love it. Think I saw it on dA first, but either way, loved it then, love it now.

Second- got so effing confused at #18, for a second there, because I am Canadian, and 80 kilometers an hour is not that fast. Hehe. Damn metric system, confusing me like that.

Third and final- any chance of more coming our way? Because I would love to see them.

3 .

#22
No Sniper, don't shoot her! Shoot Spy!

4 .

I'll be honest with you.

For a start, this isn't a fanfic. It's a list.

Secondly, I think this kind of thing needs to be kept off the chan and on DA. It makes the relationship between these two look like some teenage girl's fantasy. Not to mention the purple prose, full of completely unnecessary descriptions; 'Hands' and 'Devotion' are two of the worst examples of this, but the effect is consistent throughout.

You obviously have some ideas regarding what to do with certain pairings, but your flowery descriptions, rampant cliches, and lack of any actual content reads like some teenager's wet dream.

Get yourself a beta - hell, I'll even beta for you - sit down and write something real. If you want to write some proper fic, this will only hold you back.

5 .

Hey OP, I'm sorry about the post above. No idea why they're being an ass and making up definitions of what constitutes 'fiction' -- I, for one, enjoy the one-sentence form; it can be a lot harder to write one good sentence than a whole paragraph when the former leaves so much up to the reader's personal interpretation, and I think you’ve got some really good ideas for some of the characters, as mentioned in my reply to your other thread.

Thanks for sharing this, and please keep up the good work! I'd like to read more from you, one-sentence and longer.

6 .

>>4
>>5
I sense an impeding shitstorm.

7 .

>>6 Looks that way.

I never understood why people on here tend to be 'FANFICTION IS SERIOUS BUSINESS. DO NOT QUESTION ME. RAWR.'

I mean hell, this is for entertainment. If you're not entertained by a certain type of fiction, don't read it. Leave it for those of us who do like this and DO consider it fiction.

And teenage girl's wet dream? What gender-age group do you think yaoi appeals to the most? You looked at this board lately? How could it NOT lure in teenage chickies with a metaphorical hard-on for guy-guy stuff?

8 .

>>5

Yeah, it's about fictional characters, but is it a fanfic? No, it's a list of sentences. Is it well-written? No, it's full of cliches and purple prose; "crystalline droplet", "touch as light and soft as a feather made of silk", "The absoluteness, the depth of feeling that Spy saw reflected in his lover's blue-steel eyes". The list goes on.

>>7

You do realise, I hope, that this board is 18+ and if you're a 'teenage chickie with a metaphorical hard-on for guy-guy stuff' you can get banned for posting here? And you're certainly not helping your own case, anon, by using 'yaoi'... I guess the word filter is still broken.

And re: fanfic is serious business, maybe my last post sounded a bit rant-y. But now I'm sober and this 'fic' is still crap, and I'm calling it out as such.

9 .

Ehm, what the hell, whiteknights? Why don't you let the author adress the critique instead of going into flamewar mode? It's their choice how to handle opinions, not yours. Let them speak for themselves. It would help matters a lot.

10 .

>>9

I’m sorry if my previous post comes across as the retaliatory barrage in a flamewar; this wasn’t my intention. I just feel bad for being one of those asking the OP to repost this specific one-sentence collection, only to have it critiqued in a fashion I don’t consider very constructive at all. The OP made it clear that this is an older work and didn’t ask for critique; this was a favour s/he did for the reviewers of his/her previous thread, and it unexpectedly blew up on us.

I apologise for asking the OP to do something that upset other members of the board, and I’m sorry if my attempt to reassure the OP that his/her work isn’t universally disliked and that I found the critique unnecessarily harsh ended up upsetting other members even further.

I hope this doesn’t turn into a shitstorm; Eximplode doesn’t like one-sentence fics, I do, I hope we can agree to disagree on this. I don’t personally understand why the one-sentence structure deserves such vitriol, but I’m new here and still unfamiliar with the chan’s unwritten rules (I checked the written ones and there’s no mention of fic structuring there). If there’s a general consensus against one-sentence fics here, please let me know and I’ll keep my own stuff off the board in the future. Thank you.

11 .

WHOAWHOAWHOATIMEOUT

Okay. Everyone breathe. Calm down. Good? Yes? Okay.

First off, I'm not mad. Heck, I'd like to thank Exi, who has a fantastic fic and therefore knows what she's talking about, for the critique. I just might take you up on that offer for a beta sometime, and I appreciate it. In retrospect, I did go over the top a bit with some of the descriptions, being a crazy descriptionlover that I am. I am learning to tone this down a bit.

These Fifty Theme things are something I do for fun, and as people here seem to enjoy them and I don't know where else on the chan they'd go, I put them here. I do, as a matter of fact, write standard-style 'fic (one of them, 'Let Go', is on the chan as we speak, and I am currently braining out a sequel to it), so this isn't the only thing I do. I did have one more theme set planned (a Medic/Engie thing, dear god why is there nothing for that pairing) but if this sort of thing shouldn't be here, I'll put it up elsewhere and link it for those interested.

12 .

>>8 For the record, 19 is older than 18, and one would still technically be considered a teenager at that age. Hell, I'm 22 and I still consider myself one. I may be away from home and in University, but I still think pretty much the same as I did in high school. Mentality of a teenager= a teenager, in my mind.

And yes, apologies on the y-word. Forgot where I was for a moment.

13 .

>>12 For the record, everyone's moved on, just drop it.

RE: this fic, I thought it was kinda neat back when it was posted the first time and I liked that they all sort of go together. Maybe take the themes' sentences that you wrote and expand them into a full story?

14 .

I think there are a lot of feminine themes here, which doesn't suit TF2 characters at all :/ Like in Tears, Hands, Devotion and Moon. I think the Soldier & Demo was much better on this point
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