AN: So, this particular drabble was an idea I had to show Sue off. It wasn't the best, so I scrapped it to come up with a new one. But I just couldn't let this one go because of all the fun I had while writing it. As such, it's now a deleted drabble for me to share. Also, I was NEVER gonna pair these two together. Sue doesn't like guys that young, and Danny is way too inexperienced. I'm not saying that Danny is a virgin, I'm saying that all he's been with are girls his age and not women like Sue. Sue, the BLU Sniper slammed Danny, The RED Scout into the wall of the hallway with a wicked grin. Her hand curled around his neck and squeezed tightly. Scout's legs were still tangled in Sue's bola (Danny had screeched at her for cheating, claiming that she could only use weapons that Lawrence, the RED Sniper had) and he had dropped his bat when crashing to the ground. His gun had been ripped off of his back when Sue had caught him. Danny struggled with the surprising strength of the female Aussie, but even if he had gotten free, what then? His legs were still disabled. Sue brought her kukri up high and Danny could swear he saw little skulls in her mismatched eyes. The blue skull wasn't all that bad, but that bright orange skull seemed to be laughing evilly at him. Danny grit his teeth and braced himself, knowing for a fact that dying from a kukri was one of the more painful ways to go. Unless, of course, the killer had mercy on him, but Sue had not one shred of mercy for the little anklebiter who dared to purposefully trample on her father's old akubra. The kukri swung down and Scout squeezed his eyes shut- BWAAAAAA! Oh God, saved by the bell. Well, actually it was the horn that signaled the end of the fight and the beginning of ceasefire. Danny opened his eyes to see that kukri poised right on his neck. A little bit of blood trailed down, but the kukri hadn't quite pierced him completely. Sue let out a growl of frustration and threw Danny down. She gave a few key tugs on her bola, and snatched it off of Danny's legs. Danny rubbed the spots on his legs a bit before looking up to see Sue wrapping her bola around her torso and walking off. At that moment, the macho vein in Danny's neck swelled up and a burst of testosterone fueled the idea that even though he had been almost killed he was still alive… …and he should rub it in Sue's face. "That's right, ya kangaroo bitch! Ya don't mess with me!" He said snarkily. Sue froze and slowly turned around, peeling her sunglasses off and revealing her blazing blue and orange eyes in all their glory. Soothed by the fact that Sue could no longer hurt him without breaking the rules, Danny puffed himself up and sneered. "Maybe ya should quit this job and come show me a good time instead!" He hadn't expected Sue to laugh. He had been expecting her to get mad and offended, but certainly not to laugh, and laugh hysterically. Sue pocketed her sunglasses and wiped a tear from her eye. "Please," she said. "As if you could handle me." "What's that supposed ta mean?" Danny growled. Sue's expression turned cold and mocking. "It means that only men can handle Aussie women. Not little boys what still cling to the skirts of their mummies." "I could handle ya no problem!" Scout shouted. Sue thought it was almost sad how easy it was to rile the scout up. And man worth his salt would have just flipped her off and went on their merry way, but here was this little boston boy who could easily dish out a good smack talk but couldn't take one. An evil thought occurred to Sue, and it caused her to pin Danny back against the wall. She leaned in close, and Danny stopped struggling when he got full view of Sue's cleavage. "Really, boy?" Sue calmly asked. "Could ya really handle me? Could ya handle me turning ya back into a scratching post? Could ya handle me marking ya with more spots than a damn leopard?" Sue's eyes narrowed dangerously, and she grinned, showing sharp teeth. Danny gulped slightly as the tension grew (among other things). The tables had been turned and he couldn't for the life of him think of what to do. "Um…" yeah, real smooth, "I, um-" But Sue leaned in closer and continued. "Could ya handle all the ways that I can bend? I'm real flexible, boy. Could ya handle me pinning ya down and showing ya just who ya belong to? Could ya handle an animal, boy? Cuz that's what I am: a bloody animal. Teeth, claws, and all." That last part was whispered into his ear, but Danny had stopped listening to smell Sue's curly dark brown hair instead. She smelled good, he decided. She didn't smell all nasty like the RED Sniper, but instead smelled earthy. Kinda like the desert after it rained. Ooh, were those flowers he smelled? Danny broke from his thoughts as Sue let go of him with a smug grin. "Like I said," she almost purred. "Only men can handle Aussie women. Grow up a bit, detach yourself from your mummy's side, and then grow a nice pair. Then, and only then, would you ever have a chance with an Aussie woman. If you need any further help, I'm sure your Sniper would be glad to laugh and point at you. I know I have." Sue tipped her hat and walked off, leaving Danny to slide down the wall and onto the floor. He'd be lying if he said he didn't enjoy that. Of course, he would keep this whole encounter a secret from his teammates, and he would ignore all the gibes at him being a mama's boy. He tried to make himself snarl and fold his arms at what Sue had said, but he just couldn't get her smell and touch out his mind. He groaned to himself and started banging his head on the wall behind him. He blamed the fact that he hadn't had a woman that close to him in a long time- Ah, who was he kidding? He hadn't ever had a woman that close to him.
"Hey Doc," said Danny from the breakfast table, "we got any condoms?" Every man around that table looked up at Danny with various expressions, but Wolfgang's own was one of confusion. The eggs on his fork slid off to fall back onto his plate, and the fork itself joined them shortly afterward. "May I ask vhy, Herr Scout?" Danny's only response was to grin and point in the direction of the BLU base. The unspoken words hit the men like a ton of bricks. "Are y'all serious, son?" "Fraternizing with the enemy is for commies and-" "Tiny Scout wants BLU babies?" "Mate, nothing good will come-" "HEY!" Danny leapt up and silenced everyone. "Look, I think I got a chance with their Pyro." "Herr Scout," Wolfgang sighed wearily. "I must strongly suggest zat you simply get over it. Perhaps you can find female companionship in town, but you cannot possibly hope to court ze BLU Pyro." "You're just jealous cuz I've got a bettah chance than ya," Danny said, rolling his eyes. "I mean look at me! I'm all young and good lookin' and you're…well… you." Wolfgang's eyes narrowed and he opened his mouth to say something when he was interrupted by Lawrence. "Why the Pyro outta all them sheilas on that team?" he asked. Danny grinned again and cupped his hands in front of his chest. "One word," he said, "tits. I like tits, and that Pyro's got tha best pair on that team. They're tha perfect size and tha perfect shape." Again, all the other men began to talk over themselves. Some agreed with the Scout, some disagreed, and some were making their own opinions. "Son, it aint right ta just objectify a woman like that. Women are more'n just their looks. I myself prefer a woman's brains over-" "Bullshit." Dell's words tapered off and he glared at Danny through his goggles. "I beg your pardon, boy?" Danny pointed around the room. "Every guy in this room cares about a broad's looks. Maybe not completely, but there's at least one part of a broad that a guy looks at. So don't start spewing that self-righteous bullshit about preferring a broad's brains." Silence fell after that, each man looking pensive. "Like big woman," Viktor finally said. "Practical," said Dell. "I don't think a small woman could survive." "No," said Viktor. "Like big woman because big woman knows how to cook. Knows how to make good food. And will keep me warm in winter." He smiled, and Danny chuckled. "See?" He said. "Even the Ruskie has a something he likes ta look at. If he does, then all of yous guys gotta have one too." Marcel puffed his cigarette and blew out a jet of smoke with a smile. "Les cheveux," he said. "When I was wiz my past lovers my favorite zing to do was to run my fingers through zeir 'air. I loved ze silkiness." Danny nodded his head slowly. "Ok, I nevah really thought of a broad's hair, but ok." He looked around the table. "Who's next?" "Legs," said Wolfgang. Everyone looked at the German in surprise. "Really?" Danny asked in disbelief. "I thought ya would say their skin or blood or organs or something like that." Wolfgang smiled as he slowly shook his head. "Ven I vas ein junge," he said as if recalling a memory, "I vas alvays mesmerized by ze frauleins in ze ballet. Such power in zeir legs, such grace. Zose long legs zat lead directly to paradise." "Gay," said Danny, earning a glare from Wolfgang. "Ya were doing good until ya started getting all poetic and shit." "Vat is zis a team exercise?" "Yeah," Danny nodded slowly. "I like the sound of that. This is a team exercise and yous guys are all gonna spill. Ruskie, the frog, me, and the Doc have all said our bit. So who's next?" No one said a word until Tavish spoke up. "Ye are all a buncha wusses ye can' even talk abou' women. I like a lass's hands. They're always so small and smooth an'-" he hiccupped and promptly passed out in drunkenness. "I bet he likes hands for anotha reason," Danny snorted. "I like a sheila's neck," said Lawrence. Marcel rolled his eyes. "Must you always be such an animal?" He said. The team looked confused. "What do ya mean by that?" Dell asked. Marcel shook his head and puffed his cigarette. "Ze neck is always associated wiz ze animal kingdom because of ze importance it plays in rank. Biting ze neck of anozer animal shows dominance while baring your neck to anozer animal shows submission. Is zat why you like necks, bushman?" "Nah," Lawrence shook his head. "I just like the sound a sheila makes when you give it the proper attention." "Mrph hrrm mrh thrm mrgh hrg yrgs phrt durr terph," Pyro said, or rather mumbled. "What did he say?" Danny asked. "He said that he likes a woman's eyes," said Dell. "I myself prefer the hips. Back in Texas we value a woman with a nice set of child bearin' hips. My own Irene has a nice big set of hips." "Do you like ze behind zat comes viz such hips?" Wolfang asked. Dell chuckled. "I sure don't hate it," he said. Danny counted in his head and realized that there was one more who hadn't spoken yet. "Solly!" he rounded on Jane. "You're tha only one left. What do you prefer on a woman?" "I don't have to answer that hippy question!" Jane shouted as he jumped up from his chair. "This shitty exercise is over!" he left the mess hall, still grumbling to himself. "Damn," groused Danny. "The hell's his problem?" "'E is embarrassed by 'is preference," Marcel said with a grin. "Ya know what he likes, Spook?" Lawrence asked. Marcel nodded. "'E prefers feet," he said. No one knew what to make of that.