1 . Name: lawlspy @ 2012-08-17 07:53

Super original title is super original. Just a quick fic with some RED Sniper/ BLU RoboSpy feels. Apologies for any typos. It's 5AM and I'm WAY too caffeinated. Weeeeee!

So here. Have a sad.

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The blue Spybot sat on Engineer’s workbench, hunched over and still. Sniper gulped down the rest of his coffee and walked inside. He put his mug down on the table and jumped when the robot’s head turned.

“Fucking oath,” he said. “That’s creepy.”

The robot’s eyes cast an eerie glow as it stared at him. Sniper felt the hairs rise on the back of his neck. He cleared his throat and turned towards the other end of Engineer’s workbench. His rifle lay near the edge, good as new. Although Engineer had reprogrammed the robot, Sniper stepped just out of arm’s reach. The last time he had come so close to one, it had crushed his skull between its hands.

Its head swiveled as he walked, the gears quietly creaking in its neck.

“Christ, stop looking at me.” Sniper snatched his rifle off the workbench. “Glorified tin can dressed up like a bloke.”

The Spybot jerked its head up. “Fuck you.”

Its voice was flat, monotone, and pedantic.

Sniper leaned out into the hallway, but no one was around. Not surprising, given the poker game downstairs.

“Wot did you say?”

“Fuck you,” it repeated.

Sniper grabbed his mug. “Clever programming, that.” He turned to leave, pressure building behind his eyes. “Too bad you got nothing on the real thing.”

“You left him there.” The Spybot had no affect or expression. “You did not save him.”

Sniper stopped and took a deep breath. “Whoever made you was a real sweetheart. Truckie will be mad as a cut snake when he learns he was fooled by a toaster.”

The robot lifted its right hand and flexed its fingers. “He was taken. He cried for you at the end. Barry. Barry.” It looked up at Sniper and cocked its head. “He continued to do so after they started to cut him up.”

Sniper swallowed thickly. “So that’s where you got all this, then?” He turned around, face drained of all color. “Your makers tortured a spook until he says wot they want, then they butcher him like a lamb?”

“No,” the Spybot said. “They kept him.”

“Fucking oath. I’m getting Engie.”

The Spybot stood up. A thick yellow power cord slid across the table, jerry rigged into its back where its engine resided. It staggered forward, eyes flickering. “Do not let them reach the respawn system.” The robot wobbled and hunched over the nearest table. “They will harvest it.”

Sniper unsheathed his kukri and entered the room. “Make one wrong move,” he said, “and I’ll cut that cord.”

“Oui.” The Spybot staggered back to the workbench. “You will also be electrocuted.”

“Wot?” Sniper froze. “Wot did you say?”

“The respawn system translates organic material into digital. If that is compromised, the collective experiences of the RED mercenaries will be used to program more machines.”

Sniper took off his hat sat down on Engineer’s swivel chair. He looked at the robot for a long time. “I knew a Spy once. An unbalanced bloke, to be quite honest. Impulsive, confrontational, passionate. Terrible qualities in a spook.”

The robot turned and looked straight ahead.

“No poker face whatsoever.” Sniper leaned back in the chair. “But he had a way of working into people. Making them forget what he really was. Then…boom.” Sniper drew his fingers across his neck. “Suddenly he’d have you by the throat.

“We had no idea wot we were dealing with back then.” Sniper’s Adam’s apple bobbed. “BLU base was just—overwhelmed. Gone. So was everyone in it.”

“You left him there.”

No accent. No tone.

“Yea.” Sniper put his hat back on and stood up. “Does he feel any pain?”

The robot didn’t respond. Then or after.