1 . Name: Ze Doktor @ 2011-12-16 21:10

Why hello there - just thought I'd pop over from /afanfic/ to leave this here. This is acceptable, right?

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The infirmary was always quiet at this hour. After dinner, and after all the various battle wounds of the day had been tended to, Medic stayed and did paperwork for a while. It was dry, tedious stuff, but it required a blissful absence of thought that helped him release the tension of keeping eight homicidal lunatics alive from nine to five.

For some reason, they were always sent a box of lollipops as part of the medical supply allotment. It was probably SOP for any doctor’s office, and HQ had never thought to take them off the stock list. It was just another of their ridiculous bureaucratic oversights, like sending them a box of condoms every six months. There were no women for at least a hundred miles, and no prostitutes for almost two hundred.

Medic couldn’t complain too much, however. He had taken to having a lollipop while he worked, telling himself that the sugar helped him focus. In reality, he just liked the cherry flavor. It also turned his lips and tongue a startling shade of red, but since no one ever came in this late, he didn’t worry about it.

He jotted down some notes on Soldier’s broken collarbone, humming to himself around the candy. The silly American had broken it thirty-six times so far... He pulled the lollipop out of his mouth for a moment, and tucked the report into his thick paper file before starting on Spy’s burn list. The enemy Pyro was wising up to his tactic of hiding inside an empty crate by the base entrance, it seemed. Medic tutted, and popped it back into his mouth before shuffling through the stack of reports to look for the most recent one.

The door opened with a thump, and he dropped a handful of paper to the floor in surprise. Medic looked up, startled, to see Heavy lumbering forward and cradling his bloody arm. He remained frozen in shock for only an instant, and then he quickly yanked the lollipop out of his mouth and tried to hide it behind his back.

“Doktor, is accident in kitchen - Demo throw bottle at Scout and...” Heavy trailed off, his eyebrows betraying his puzzlement. “...Doktor is okay?”

“Yes! Fine! Completely fine, Heavy, I can assure you.” He stood up quickly, frantically trying to think of some excuse and find a hiding spot for his lollipop. “I can see you are hurt, but zis is really not a good time because I have dropped all ze papervork on ze floor, and, and if you vould just come back in a few minutes vhile I clean it up -”

Heavy stared at his face in confusion. “Why is mouth all red? Look like lipstick, for woman.”

Medic blushed the same color as his lips. “No! No, nozzing like zat, I... er. It’s, um, just...” Good grief, there was no dignified way to say it. He hung his head in shame, and held out the lollipop. “It is cherry-flavored,” he said weakly.

Heavy stared at the little red candy, then started to laugh heartily. “Is конфеты!” he said as the chuckles subsided. “Sweet thing, da? Is treat back in Russia. You have, here?”

“Vell, ja. It is given to ze kinder vhen zhey see a doctor,” Medic said, now completely embarrassed but at least a little glad that Heavy wasn’t mocking him. “Ze sugar is, er, good for ze brain vhen I have many reports to do.”

His teammate was still dripping blood on the floor, and Medic hustled him over to one of the examination tables to hide his own discomfort. There was a long gash on his arm that seemed quite deep in one end - he would need stitches, now that the Medigun was locked into its recharge cycle for the night.

Medic stared at the lollipop helplessly for a moment, wondering where to put it. He needed both hands to work, and he was not prepared to put it back in his mouth and look utterly ridiculous in front of another man. One of the sterilized dishes, perhaps?

Heavy laughed again, and plucked it out of Medic’s hand. “Back home, when was little boy, I get treat only sometimes and share with other little boys. Because is communism, da? Always share.” He sucked on it for a moment while Medic stared, and licked his lips in appreciation. “Mmm, is good,” he said happily.

Medic’s medical training was screaming about how unsanitary that was, but a deeper, more subversive part of him was fascinated by the movement of Heavy’s mouth around the lollipop. He shook himself, and decided not to say anything about it as he fetched the suture kit.

The big Russian spent the entire procedure sucking and licking the lollipop, rolling it around his tongue and playing with it as Medic cleaned up and closed the wound. It was very, very distracting. By the time he was wrapping a bandage around his arm, Heavy’s lips were just as red as his.

Medic turned away to wash his hands, trying not to think about anything except the fact that he would have an extra report to do tonight. “Zat vill be fine until ze morning, and zhen I vill use ze Medigun before ve go out to battle. I hope zat is acceptable?”

“Da, is fine.” Heavy flexed his arm, testing the muscle. “Is only leetle hurt. Many thanks, Doktor.”

Medic wiped his hands on a towel. “It is nozzing - merely my jo-mhhmhm!”

Heavy stuffed the lollipop back into Medic’s mouth, cutting off whatever he had to say. “Rest for you now!” he said as he grinned like a mischievous child. Medic almost choked, and Heavy slapped him on the back amiably.

“I go to bed quickly. If team see, maybe they think I am kissing Doktor, da? Hohoho!” He hopped off the table and waved goodbye as he strolled out of the infirmary, completely unaware of the other man’s shocked state.

Medic pulled the lollipop out of his mouth and stared at it. It was smaller now, and still warm, and he even thought it tasted a little sweeter than usual. He was suddenly struck with the thought of whether Heavy’s mouth would taste the same - and his overactive imagination supplied a vision of his naked teammate lounging back in the office chair, while Medic straddled him and left cherry-flavored kisses all over his neck and face.

He felt his cheeks heat up uncontrollably. Medic looked at the pile of paperwork on the floor, and the last of his reports, and wondered how he would get anything done with an uncomfortable erection tenting his pants.