In the far flung future, commercialism has completely taken over the globe. The Mann brothers, who's blood feud litterally almost caused a fifth world war, have both passed on (at the ripe old age of 500), the anger and hatred they had for one another ending for good. With the two brothers gone, Burdrom J. Hale (Saxton's great great great grandson) decided, on a whim, to take control over Builders League United and Reliable Excavation Demolition and fuse it together with traditional (and ever popular) drunken Aussie brawls for supremacy to form a widely televised death sport where fabulous cash prizes and trinkets are handed out to the weeks' winners. "Liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiivvvvvvveeeee from the charred hellpits of south east Winnebago, it's Earth's favorite brutally despicable game show, Team Fortune Death match!!!" "Featuring: The blur, the brute, the kindler, the vet, the dyna, the m.d., the smith, the hit man, and the bane ofeveryone's existence, the chameleon!" "And we'll be right back after a word from our sponsors.....Do you like plump succulent bush babies? Who doesn't?! If you have any sort of decency, then try Saxton Hale's quality subline "Nocturnal Surprise" filled to the brim with an assortment of tempting takes on this heavenly ape such as "Deep Fried Bush Baby", "Bush Baby Kebab", and "Bush Baby On A Stick" with heaping teaspoons of rich, hearty marinara sauce, a tride and true seasonal favorite...." ***************************** Backstage, the mercs were busy suiting up. The brute gorging himself on a tin of "Spung imitation reptile meat with pork beans" and the kindler was trying his best to ignite his formula 12 enroaster flamethrower "Good evening gentlemen," a soft, feminine voice called,"here are your paychecks for last week. How's Blu team's favorite blur doing?" Blu team's smith, Roger Clemons, lifted up his goggles and wiped a weathered rag on his moist forhead. "I suspect we'll manage a might bit fine Miss Paula, the m.d.'s been givin' the boy a heapin' dose of morphine while I've been workin' on reparin' his leg implants." Miss Paula shot the smith a slight look of distrust, "No illegal "tweeking" I hope?" The smith shook his head "But more importantly," the chameleon muttered, puffing out a thick ring of cigarette smoke,"how are the infidels on Red?" Paula just shrugged, "Same ol' same ol', they've had to be cloned so many times that their brain cells are starting to rot. Personally I find it a little depressing that management Isn't willing to give you fresh ones every week like we did in the past, but with the new budget constraints....I mean hey, at least you're getting paid and handsomely might I add, which is more than I can say for them."
I am confused.
I don't know what the heck is going on, and these new characters have not been properly introduced.
I, on the other hand, know what exactly is going on. The point is that everything has changed, but in really, everything is basically the same. History is repeating itself. The characters don't need to be introduced, you know them already. Smith is Engie, Blur is Scout, Kindler is Pyro, MD is Medic, Dyna is Demo, Brute is Heavy (Ha ha) Hit Man is Sniper, Vet is Solly, and the Chameleon is Spy.
I would personally like to thank Shubert for digging me out of a very large hole Wasn't thinking about re-introducing the characters when I originally wrote this on my dinky little cellphone at work
Without proper capitalization, it's difficult to figure out what their names are supposed to be.
Could you any more blatantly ripoff Monday Night Combat?
>>7 I think that's the point, isn't it?
@Drillbot: Since I haven't played MNC, this was intended to be more of a slight homage to Smash T.V.