Sniper walked cross his room sexily. He was sexy because he was wearing no clothes because he is a Sniper and needs no fucking clothes, woman. BEASTS DO NOT NEED CLOTHES. Suddenly, however, he felt an uncanny sensation from within his anus. He got really worried because he didn't want shit on his floor (other than his MANLY SHIT, not like literal shit, that is gross) and he considered maybe it was not a good idea he was not wearing clothes. However, just as it peeked out from his ass, he heard a distinctive barbecue-flavored tone coming from it. "Howdy." Sniper was so startled he clenched his ass and the barbecue poo flew across the room, only he now realized it was not a poop, it was Engineer. He felt so sorry for Engineer he produced tissues from his anus and cried so many manly tears. Engineer lied on the floor because it was nice there. The end.
Sexiest thing ever.
This. Is. Art.
it was not a poop, it was Engineer. Best. Phrase. EVER.
I don't even, but I still adore you for it.
I I don't WHAT JUST HAPPENED WHY AM I LAUGHING WHY AM I CRYING
BEASTS DO NOT NEED CLOTHES, WOMAN OHFUCK. Lold. (Somehow, this reads like it as a fill in the blank book. SOMEONE MAKE A MADLIBS TF2 SMUT STORY. It will be amazing.)
>>7 MADLIBS TF2 SMUT STORY Oh Lawdy Do this Someone Please
>>7 >>8 ... I'm going to write this. I'll need ten verbs, five nouns, and three people. And some adjectives/adverbs.
MOAR!!!
>>9 HERE GOES. I used a random word generator to guarantee wacky shenanigans. v: mastication, spring, ran, felt, punch, grab, sleep, utter, pump, sense n: Geometry Mall Married Plot Soap people: (As in characters? Screw it. I'm assuming characters) Engie, Sniper, Scout adj: glum, amok, boyish, hazel, accomdating adv: sacramentally, sinisterly, wobbily, cringingly, downheartedly I AM EXCITE.
>>11 I don't think "Married" is a noun. Marriage, mebbe? And "amok" is a weirdass adjective, but will probably be hilarious in context. BUT I AM ALSO EXCITE.
OooooOOOOOoo!
Heh. I like this.
>>12 SNAP. Oh marriage, then will work. OHgod. I bet this is gonna end up amazing.
Best fanfic ever.
lol ok so until papaya comes back I will provide more mad libs smut I will require the following: 3 characters 10 verbs 10 adverbs 6 adjectives 6 nouns 3 locations (e.g. "the workshop"; "australia") 5 body parts (singular or plural, your choice) 2 gooshy/dramatic/romantic things to say (e.g. "I was born to love you!") 3 expressions of extreme assent and quite possibly arousal (e.g. "Ohhh, yes!") 2 nostalgic or good things ("the smell of fresh lemons"; "my old house's porch") 3 pieces of clothing (at least one preferably normally found in pairs, e.g. shoes) 2 facial actions ("grin"; "to stick one's tongue out", etc) and, finally: an extended metaphor.
oh, and one totally random thing for a character to say. "My pants are full of piss." "The cheese omelette is burning." whatever.
ENGINEER DEMO SPY WALKED ASSASINATED DANCED LAUGHED ROLLED SHRUGGED KISSED RAPED FUCKED LOVED QUICKLY SILENTLY CLUMSILY CRAZILY STUPIDLY CONFUSEDLY SEXILY EASILY CUTELY INSANELY KAWAII CUTE STUPID RED SIMPLE CRAZY CUBE KNIFE APPLE MAN WOMAN HOMOSEXUAL 2FORT GRAVELPIT ENGINEER'S WORKSHOP HEAD KNEE TOE FINGER PENIS "THE SUN BURNS LESS THAN MY LOVE" "I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU WENT OUT WITH THAT BLACK FUCK" "OOOOH GOD YEAH" "MMMMMMM, HELLS YES." "ACH I GIVE MY ASSENT" "THE SMELL OF MY GRAN'S OLD DISPENSER BREAKIN'" "MY MOTHER'S LOVE OF GAY PORNOGRAPHY" SHIRT PANTIES HAT GRIN FROWN LARGE MAMMAL ASSOCIATING ITSELF QUITE WELL WITH A SMALLER BLACK MAMMAL WHO IS FUCKING QUEER
ok so apparently by "extended metaphor" I meant "extended simile" and the anon above is me SORRY FOR TRIPALPOAST it is not deleting my posts for some reason aaaaa
Also that last part is meant because I couldn't think of anything better.
MY LOVE IS FULL OF MAGGOTS
WHOOPS I meant the anon which tacked on the thing about the one thing for a character to say also I didn't ask for enough things so I had to repeat some of them, and ALSO I forgot to ask for "an affectionate nickname" but I got "MAGGOTDICK" so ROLLING WITH IT WHATEVS here is your smut ______________________ Engineer was walking on his cube, all alone. He sighed. Engineer had been thinking about Demo for days on end now. He just couldn’t get Demo’s kawaii head out of his head, and it was driving him absolutely crazy. Engineer then stood up tall, bunching his knees. “I am going to tell Demo I love him if it’s the last thing I do!†So Engineer left 2fort and ran up to Spy to ask if he had seen Demo. “Hmmn...last I saw Demo, he was assassinating in Gravelpit.†Engineer wasted no time in quickly dancing all the way there. “Demo!†Engineer shouted. Demo turned around clumsily. “I was waiting for you, Engineer. The sun burns less than my love.†Demo grabbed Engineer’s toe. “Will you let me crazily roll your finger?†Engineer let out a cute sigh as he started to get stupidly aroused. “OOOOH GOD YEAH.†Demo then tackled Engineer to the ground, his penis flying to Engineer's clothes and yanking them off with red excitement. Demo took one of Engineer’s hats and confusedly licked it. “…Tastes like my mother's love of gay pornography.†Demo then chucked the hat towards Engineer's workshop before moving to Engineer’s pants. Engineer looked on sexily, his eyes simple like an man and his head crazy like a woman. Demo grinned and pulled Engineer’s pants all the way off, like a boss, or perhaps a homosexual. He then began to shrug Engineer’s knee easily. “MMMMMMM, HELLS YES!†Engineer panted. “You like that?†Demo sneered, kissing faster now. Engineer squeezed his toe and moaned cutely. He then grabbed onto Demo’s finger, jiggling it. Demo grunted insanely, going so fast he wondered if it was safe. It probably was not. Suddenly, Engineer belted out “MY LOVE IS FULL OF MAGGOTS!†as he came. Demo was so turned on by this he came, too. They collapsed onto the floor, panting and cuddling each other. Engineer fiddled with Demo’s penis. “I want to rape your head every day, Maggotdick.†“Me too, Engineer].†Demo smiled quickly. “Me too.†They then fell asleep like a large mammal associating itself quite well with a smaller black mammal who is FUCKING QUEER. The End
Don't mind if I do! Chars: Soldier, Demoman, Engineer Verbs: lick, explode, penetrate, take, kiss, fight, give, fuck, yell, undress Adverbs: harshly, gently, extremely, strongly, gently, loudly, hastily, proudly, messily, wildly Adjectives: manly, hot, muscular, amused, stoic, hard Nouns: sentry, wrench, helmet, Sun Tzu, battle, stickybomb Locations: Dustbowl, capture point, Scotland Body Parts: dick, butt, chest, legs, back Dramatic Blablah: "You're the sticky to my bomb!" "I want to fight the police with you!" Expressions: "Oooh heck YEAH!" "Ooh yes!" "Christ almighty!" Nostalgia: the smell of dead nazis in the morning, a good beer Clothing: pants, boots, shirt Facial Actions: laugh, wink Metaphor: like a rocket that bursts through enemies at the speed of light Random thing: "Sun Tzu said that!"
...OK POSTING YOURS TOO geez demoman is just dominating today ALSO I am making the following additions to the word list: [#e]Perrydotto: Use "cupcake" for affectionate name [#e]Perrydotto: nose, teeth, penis, hands, lips, chesthair [#e]Perrydotto: buff, obnoxious, gruff, drunk ______ Soldier was licking on his sentry, all alone. He sighed. Soldier had been thinking about Demoman for days on end now. He just couldn’t get Demoman’s manly dick out of his head, and it was driving him absolutely crazy. Soldier then stood up tall, bunching his butts. “I am going to tell Demoman I love him if it’s the last thing I do!†So Soldier left Dustbowl and ran up to Engineer to ask if he had seen Demoman. “Hmmn...last I saw Demoman, he was exploding on the capture point.†Soldier wasted no time in harshly penetrating all the way there. “Demoman!†Soldier shouted. Demoman turned around gently. “I was waiting for you, Soldier. You’re the sticky to my bomb.†Demoman grabbed Soldier’s chest. “Will you let me strongly take your legs?†Soldier let out a hot sigh as he started to get extremely aroused. “Oooh heck YEAH!†Demoman then tackled Soldier to the ground, backs flying to Soldier’s clothes and yanking them off with muscular excitement. Demoman took one of Soldier’s boots and loudly licked it. “…Tastes like the smell of dead Nazis in the morning.†Demoman then chucked the boot towards Scotland before moving to Soldier’s pants. Soldier looked on hastily, his eyes amused like a wrench and his nose stoic like a helmet. Demoman laughed and pulled Soldier’s pants all the way off, like a boss, or perhaps Sun Tzu. He then began to kiss Soldier’s teeth proudly. “Christ almighty!†Soldier panted. “You like that?†Demoman sneered, fucking faster now. Soldier squeezed his penis and moaned messily. He then grabbed onto Demoman’s lips, jiggling them. Demoman grunted wildly, going so fast he wondered if it was safe. It probably was not. Suddenly, Soldier belted out “SUN TZU SAID THAT!†as he came. Demoman was so turned on by this he came, too. They collapsed onto the floor, panting and cuddling each other. Soldier fiddled with Demoman’s chesthair. “I want to yell at your hands every day, cupcake.†“Me too, Soldier.†Demoman smiled harshly. “Me too.†They then fell asleep like rockets that burst through enemies at the speed of light. The End
LAUGHING SO HARD OH GOD THANK YOU
You’re the sticky to my bomb. I LOST IT THERE. FUCK. SO FUNNY.
THE TEARS. THE LAUGHTER. WHY DO THEY NOT STOP?
WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS AWESOME SHIT OMGWTFBBQASDADASASFAF YESSSS http://www.megaupload.com/?d=KPQVW39Z dramatic reading?
A, a dramatic reading? I'm honored, sir or miss. ...I was gonna sage, but I'm sorry, this is too glorious. You are awesome and you should feel awesome.
That was brilliant Douglas. I do dramatic readings too, but your voice is so much more suited to it I am in shame. I also laughed out loud. Hard.
Douglas: I didn't think it could get any better until I heard your reading of it. You've done me proud!
I know this is old as hell but I'm so making a video for this.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YUwsy6NPx80 I said I would do it.
>>34 Oh god. How did I live without this? It's BEAUTIFUL.
The art was pretty well drawn and I like the little mustaches on things.
My life is pretty much complete now!
>>34 The link died. "This video is no longer available due to a copyright claim by Serendip LLC."
>>38 Who?
So sorry I don't know why they disabled the video. I'll try putting it up on my Hipstr.
Sorry for the wait here's the link -> http://fauxbrains.Hipstr.com/post/4737758154/all-audio-and-songs-belong-to-their-respectful
You'll have to manually go in and change Hipstr to tumb lr sorry :/
I fapped to this.
>>41 This was just BRILLIANT, I love the drawings! What song was that, at the end? I know it's a remix of something I've heard before, but I can't recall the original song. Also, where can I get this remix? Fuckin' fantastic!
>It's "Erectin' a River", a remix of "Riverside". It's on youtube.
Thanks so much!
Any more of this? I feel like you guys are holding out on me.
I let my parents read the Sniper one when I visited them today, of course censoring the curse words and replacing them with more "accepting" words to avoid getting yelled at. My mother didn't laugh and continued to tell me about how "crude" and "unfunny" it was while adding how I "shouldn't be reading disgusting things such as this" because I am a "full grown man". I'm just a few months over 20, mother. I am still able to be immature every once in a while. So then I decided to let my father read it... he wept from laughter. Now I know who I got my sense of humour from.
you bumped a 4 month old thread for that? sage goes in email field. censoring curse words underage
>>49 I agree about the sage thing, but sometimes you get parents who'll complain if their 50 year old swears. Just depends. I'm 27 and mom still gets all offended if I say goddamn or holy shit.