First time poster, long time lurker. I just wrote this up tonight and am sadly without a beta. It starts off slow, but it will pick up. It is Soldier x Sniper, Engie x Medic. Please enjoy.) It only takes one instance for Soldier to become ruthlessly, patriotically, and all around unhealthily enamored with the lanky resident sniper. And it was all the fault of the Scout and his penchant for ridiculous gambles during their nightly poker. Spy, another player in this oddly exclusive game, had vehemently refused letting the boy play at first until the kid had thoroughly stomped the older man in a playful game earlier in the month. The boy of course had been elated to join te illustrious ranks of The Poker Guys, including Soldier, Medic, the aforementioned Spy, Engineer and their loner Sniper. "Let's make this fun, guys." Those were five words that had led to this complete disaster of an emotional minefield. Such an innocent phrase but it had started off a chain reaction that leads to Soldier's desire for the Sniper. "How, shortstop?" Soldier snaps around his cigar, tipping his helmet up to glare icy daggers into boys skull. Scout only looks disinterested. "How? Old man this is how : the loser with the worst hand has to do what the winner says. That's pretty good, huh?" The teenager grins, "So you might lose but ya got a chance ta have a better hand than tha' other guy!" Spy rubs his chin, frowning around his cigarette, "I am...uncomfortable at such requests. We 'ave to 'ave some rules, oui, Lapin? I do not want ze risk of 'aving to take off my mask due to a...command, of sorts." "I see your point, Frenchie. I really do. Like...okay. We can all agree on like..nothin' fuckin' gay or shit. Like, ya can't make a dude suck yer dick or nothin'. S'gotta be PG-13, yanno? Funny shit, not weird n' creepy." There are nods and murmurs of agreement. They might be forced to share living quarters, and bare their behinds to the Doc on occasion, but the men at the table didn't really want to be put in the position of having to do something...awkward. "Wünderbar! It is zettled zhen. Vhen do ve start zese little commands?" The Medic asks as he plucks Spy's cigarettes from the table, an odd gleam in his eyes as he lights up. The only one not yet smoking was Scout, and it was because they all slapped his hands from the cigarettes. He hadn't earned the right to smoke at the table yet. "Well...oi don't know, mate..." Comes a sullen voice from under a ratty old hat, a frown pursing the Sniper's lips. "What if it's somethin' that makes us uncomfortable...? Oi ain't real keen ta be...dancin' around tha' BLU base in my best frock, you hearin' me?" Soldier is suddenly agreeing. "Stringbean's right!" His fist slams into the table, "Ain't gonna be no hippie crossdressin' allowed! This is a MAN'S GAME! We will make MANLY WAGERS!" He says, slamming his fist down on every loudly spoken word. Scout just snorts into his glass of juice, also too young to drink in the presence of the sticklers of the team, Engineer and Medic. "Look, it can be whatever ya want. Like, if I win an' Engie's got tha' worst hand, I can tell him ta do my cookin' shift for the next month. Shit like that." This causes the Spy to grin, "Oui? Can we also ask a person to act as another?" Scout looked confused as he figures the phrasing out in his head, then perks up. "Hell yeah! That'd be fuckin' awesome! Inside jokes are the fuckin' best!" The boy laughs, when the Engineer's little timer goes off. The Texan chuckles, and sets his cards down with a little shake of his head. "Alright pardners, times up. Got a battle in tha' mornin', and we don't wanna be dragging our asses, do we? H'up ya go, sonny. Medic an' I will clean up, you boys go on ahead." The Texan says with a chuckle as the Medic picks up the cards and replaces them into the package. As the other men troop out Engineer can't help but spare a glance at his comrade. "I wish ya wouldn't smoke, pardner..." He says as he picks up the empty beer bottles. Large, warm hands slide along his hips and pull Engineer back against a solid chest. "Mmm..vhy? You do it too, meine liebe..." The older man says into the Texan's ear, nibbling along the shell as the Texan tries to remain neutral. "Ya know ya look damn irresistible when yer doin' it.  Sometimes I think ya do tha' shit ta rile me up..." Engie complains playfully, turning his head to expose his neck to Medic's eager and roaming lips. "Let's go play somewhere...private." The German purrs, and the Engineer forgets all about cleaning up, the kitchen door swinging behind their hasty exit.
Interesting pairings. Continue, please.
Ok. Lets start at the beginning: Their nightly poker? Ohh that would be... (in)appropriate! Scout is just a child! Make sure you remember that we're dirty minded AND I/we will take it the wrong way. Deliberately. I personally would be alluding to the ability of Soldier to be attracted to Sniper, rather than so blatantly obvious. Also, Sniper, Spy, Engineer are their names, makes them Proper Nouns and Need Capitals. Not like that sentence. It only takes one instance for Soldier to become ruthlessly, patriotically, and all around unhealthily enamored with the lanky resident sniper. And it was all the fault of the Scout and his penchant for ridiculous gambles during their nightly poker. Would read more like: It only takes one instance for Soldier to become ruthlessly, patriotically, and all around unhealthily enamored with something, whether that is the latest Ammunition magazine or with the writings of Sun Tzu. And it was all the fault of the Scout and his perchance for ridiculous gambles during their nightly poker, that he started to obsess over the lanky Sniper. (Lanky resident feels redundant, choose one or the other, we know the characters, and they are all same team as far as I can tell) Engineer wasn't mentioned before the introduction. That was in the crossing. I did just reread it and it is fine (iBlame where the line break was), but I would avoid that choice of adjective in a list, unless its the last one in the list - limits confusion. So first thing is to make sure your lead off right. Theres some basic spelling - the / te, penchance / perchance, etc. Their lonely Sniper? Is the Sniper a pet? Soldier's pet? Engie's Pet? Ok, maybe I did drill that a little further than necessary (for my benefit...), but a possessive would indicate someone, whether the team or the corporation owns the person. Avoid possessives when describing people. Take it out completely, and it still makes sense. The line about the emotional battlefield is out of place. You have not given us enough to understand that there is a minefield of emotions. We know of a poker night. And that Soldier wants to choke the figurative kangaroo, we think. Watch your punctuation - colons are for lists. He is not listing, therefore he does not need a colon. Unless he is pooping. Then thats a different one. I love the fact you have used a lot of home language - but I don't like that some of it feels out of place. I have done this. Now I see why its annoying. Though, I can read bits of it. Soldier should buy Sniper a new hat, as the resident pet. Don't ask. String bean is Scout. Camper is Sniper. It doesn't change much, but I see him referring to something not right. Strangely, knowing some Texans, they are more liberal with alcohol, less liberal with PDA. H'up ya go - what does that mean? I expect him to be telling them to git along or something like that. Im not good at the whole accent stuff, so just ignore me if its completely legit. Now, Im not sure you've grabbed someone by the hips as they're bending to get a bottle. It *does not* end up with chest on back. Maybe after. Around a stomach, or pecs will drag him up and in. Also, have you had someone smoke really near your ear. It is defiantly not sexy. Chewing on a cigarette butt isn't pleasant either. But why is Medic smoking? That doesn't seem right. I read that whole bit as the Spy because of that. But I like Dom Medic, just going to say... I would also expect them to still be playing while slinging the shit, colloquially. So more chips leaving hands, cards being dealt, people folding, that kind of thing. You don't just sit and chat, like a book club. Ok, now what I think of it overall. I like it. Potential there. Just so many small things that makes it go from awesome to average. (If you don't believe me, I did 9/10 of these errors myself!) Also, it feels a little clipped, just because there seems to be nothing there... Lots of speech, probably pulls the plot along, but not enough plot or exposition to support it. The next post, that might help alleviate it. Also, if you need a beta, you can swing an email though my click through email there. I don't check it awesome often, but often enough. Welcome to TF2Chan, we hope you enjoy your stay! Also, we will pick stuff apart to help, not hinder, so if you need clarification, holler!
Holy shit, thats a long as the original post. Sorry for the text wall! Mael
Go on.
>>3 When I saw that wall of text, I thought it was another installment of the story-- Not some overly picked description of how YOU would have written their story. 'Their story'. I used a possessive. As for the Op-- I thought this was an excellent prologue to your fic, and I look forward to any future chapters. The pairings are a first for me, and definitely rare to the fanbase.
>>6 Whether the original poster uses any of it, or decides that hey, I don't care / TL;DR, is up to them. It IS his/her story, and I don't begrudge any part of it - it's not bad at all, and I am also quite eager to see how this progresses! I personally actually appreciate reading stuff like that - it gives me the ideas of things I might have missed, or alternate ways of seeing the same problem. Sometimes I see the scene but I don't get what I see onto paper. More often than not, when I post it, I are the only person who can see what I meant. The interplay between characters in this is something that I find fascinating, and I know I need to improve on in my own work. Hell, I could learn about a bazillion things about the regional accenting that Keiron uses In saying that, IF Kieron doesn't want me to do it, I am happy to not. But part of this fandom, as well as writing in general to me, is to promote the best work from everyone. And to learn and grow as a writer. If that makes me a jackass/whatever so be it. In the end, it is their work, not mine. But I also don't believe in just saying - Oh wow, this is great. Because that does not promote growth at all. Nothing is perfect - we all can improve. Especially with writing!
Shhh, no it's okay~ I love concrit, I do. I will definitely work on my second chapter with the advice you gave me, because I havent truly sat down and wrote fanfiction in YEARS. I am just happy people like it! Makes me all gooey. But yes, thank you for the advice - I wrote the first chapter on my iPod, so if it seems rushed that's why. I have a tendency to write and write and write, makin one chapter into like a 20k worded thing of death. I'll more than likely be writing the second chapter tomorrow and Mael..? Would you like to become my Beta?
>>3 Personally, I would appreciate someone giving me feedback, good or bad, on how my writing came across to them; maybe I wouldn’t agree with their assessment of my work, but just their taking the time to do so would be a compliment of sorts. That being said, your post does seem a tad nitpicky; it reads more like betaing than critique. Also, there are a couple of your points that I disagree with, so I’ll start all meta with a critique-critique (I hope that’s not in violation of the ‘chan’s rules?). Their nightly poker? Ohh that would be... (in)appropriate! Scout is just a child! Make sure you remember that we're dirty minded AND I/we will take it the wrong way. Scout is not “just a childâ€. He’s an adult and his job is killing people. Also, some of us do ship him with other characters, so please don’t make statements like this; it’s making me feel all bad about the high-impact emotional trauma my fics would wreck on you. Theres some basic spelling - the / te, penchance / perchance, etc. Actually, the author got it right: Penchant: A special liking for something. Perchance: Perhaps. Penchance: Not an actual word, according to Oxford’s Advanced Learner’s Dictionary. Aaanyway, on to the actual fic: >>1 For a first fic, this is a good start! You’ve caught my interest as a reader and I’m curious to see how this’ll develop. Your choice of pairings are unconventional, which is a definite plus, but I’m not quite seeing them yet; Engineer/Medic really needs to be fleshed out more, maybe with some hints of how they got together, since they’re not a fanon pairing that we all accept as natural, like Heavy/Medic. Their interactions could also use some work; I would have enjoyed some covert touches, looks, in-jokes and double-layered dialogue between them during the poker game, especially if the other team members don’t know they’re together. If I hadn’t read your introduction, the pairing would have completely blindsided me at the end, and I don’t think that was your intention. Another thing that rubs me the wrong way is your referring to Scout as ‘the boy’, ‘the kid’, etc. in the narrative. My point above stands for you too: Scout is not ‘a kid’. The characters may call him that, but the narrator/author shouldn’t. It makes him sound a lot younger than he is. Similarly, while I can see the rest of the team making a point of how Scout is too young to drink (making him under 21 – I usually imagine him being 19-21 old, depending on the fic, but I don’t think there’s a set canon age for him), to assert their seniority over him, not because they actually care about his health, I don’t think they’d stop him smoking. Remember, this is 1968, before the discovery of the cigarettes-lung cancer causality, when TV commercials featured giggling babies with physician-recommended cigars. I don’t see Scout smoking, at least not regularly, because it’d affect his performance on the battlefield, but I think it’d be his own choice and not a prohibition forced on him by his team-mates. And lastly, I also think this first part could’ve been longer. The break seemed too abrupt; you’ve just introduced the setup for the rest of the fic (playing cards for weird dares), then the poker game suddenly ends? I feel you should’ve kept it going longer, maybe included a couple of rounds with the new rules so we could see them in effect and so the characters would’ve gotten more comfortable with the idea; maybe Sniper losing to Spy and being made to wash and iron his suits, or Scout losing to someone and being made to keep quiet for an entire day – something innocent and fun, to get the characters (and the readers) used to the new stakes before making them the basis of a new pairing. But, as I said, your fic did catch my interest and I’d like to read more. Please don’t be too discouraged by the critique here to continue this; we all grow and develop as writers, and for a first fic you’re off to a decent start.
This story is fine, I suppose. I like a little more descriptive meat, but that's a personal preference. There's no comment I can make there that hasn't been said. The biggest thing that interrupted me from reading was Scout referring to the PG-13 rating. The PG-13 rating was made in response to movies like "Gremlins" and the second Indiana Jones flick. So, we're talking about something that wouldn't exist until the mid 1980s. Not that I don't create a time paradox now and again, but I aim to refer to things that would have existed between 1968-1974. (The latter date is a personal choice; it's when Tom Baker became the Fourth Doctor.)
Scout just snorts into his glass of juice, also too young to drink in the presence of the sticklers of the team, Engineer and Medic. I can see Engineer objecting to Scout drinking alcohol (yeah, Scout's job is killing people, but then again American laws do say that you have to be 18 to join the army but 21 to drink a glass of wine), but why on earth would Medic object? Medic doesn't give a damn about laws (even if we ignore the whole "patient without a skeleton, doctor never heard of again" backstory, even if we assume that he is legally employed by RED as a mercenary to kill people, this is still a guy who at the very least practices medicine without a license), and even if he did, German laws say that you have to be 16 to drink alcohol. Whatever the location, I just can't see Medic forbidding Scout to have a beer, it seems incredibly OOC to me.
well... I think I'm just gonna pull the thread, revise it, and maybe put it back on here. I tried for something a little different and it didn't pan out the way I would have liked it to. Thank you, though, for the advice and support, but I guess the way I would view the characters is too OOC, so I will be rewriting this.
Please do put it back on here! I'm sure we'd all love to find out what happens next. Even if the execution left something to be desired, you had a solid story here, and it'd be a shame to leave it hanging here.
It *does not* end up with chest on back. That depends. It was awkwardly phrased but I think I see what the author was aiming at. I assume Engineer is leaning over a table and therefore not bent over that much. Not impossible for Medic to simply lean over him and rest his chest on Engie's back as the Engineer is resting at least one arm on the table. But yeah, as it is it should also mention the butt being pulled back into Medic's groin and Engie straightening up more into Medic's chest as Medic leans over him, possibly. Note: it also would've been great to describe how Medic is sexy while he is smoking and Engie noticing this during the card game. Lots of little details like that, added into the poker game, would really make this shine, IMHO. Whatever the location, I just can't see Medic forbidding Scout to have a beer, it seems incredibly OOC to me. I don't know. It's a valid excuse to be an asshole to someone, even if you don't agree with the reason for why it's seen as valid by others. Not to mention, he could simply be standing behind Engineer's insistence because Engineer is important to him. I'm not saying it couldn't use some explanation but it isn't that far out there to me. I suppose calling Medic a stickler might be a bit much but then again, we also don't know which team these guys are on. Sniper mentioned the BLU team's base but didn't stress if that was their team or the opposing team. Because he was sounded more concerned with the crossdressing and less concerned about being shot at, it's entirely possible these guys are BLU. Remember, we can't assume that BLU individuals are exactly the same as their RED counterparts in Meet the Class. Likely very similar (and depending on theory, possibly clones) but it entirely depends on the author. That said, I like the idea behind this and the pairings are interesting. Not enough explanation behind why Soldier was suddenly interested in Sniper though. It was mentioned and then dropped by the wayside without another thought. I agree that the poker game ended too abruptly. Especially without even playing their last hand! (A winner wasn't mentioned.) You'd think they'd at least finish the last game unless none of them wanted to get caught with the first losing hand. Not to mention, in literary terms it's odd to bring the whole idea up and then drop it without implementing it. I definitely approve the idea of rewriting what you have, if only to fill in the gaps and smooth out the rough edges. I really like the idea behind this and I want to see how it goes. Please do repost it here!
Whether or not this fic rang anyone's stickler alarm, I liked it. The feel of matey bro-time really came through for me, and I confess to being startled as to how suddenly interested I got in the MedicxEngie pairing. I do have a little niggle about the tense, but it is easily swept aside. If you take it down, please repost it when you are more comfortable with it. It looks like it'll be a lot of fun!
I really feel like there wasn't enough story to really come up with all that critique, honestly. I would like to read more of it to see where it's going before making any solid opinions over it.
Agree with >>15 and >>16
Well, the author can certainly just keep going and not bother rewriting it if they'd prefer. But I felt the first part was a bit choppy, so I pointed out the things I noticed and felt regarding the story and other peoples' comments. I mean, I've played several board, card, and strategy games that had to be abandoned in the middle of play because of time constraints. Poker doesn't take nearly that long. Then again, I'm an avid fan of traditional games so I suppose it depends on how into their poker game the guys were. Given the enthusiastic discussion, I assumed they were at least somewhat into it and for that reason the dismissal of the last game without playing it/finishing it (unless they had already finished, which I clearly missed) was very abrupt to me. Also, the emphasis on the poker game without actually employing what was being discussed seemed equally abrupt. Admittedly, if it was at least used later on that would solve the problem (Chekhov's gun and all) but given the amount of time devoted to it, suddenly ignoring it struck an awkward cord with me in spite of how interesting the imminent Medic and Engie sex is. I think there would be more people feeling the same if it had started out with things in the opposite order. If it started out with Engie/Medic loving and then just as it got really good abruptly ended and jumped to the very beginning of the card game discussion with Engie and Medic having joined in already. Sure, it could keep going and in the process of continuing explain everything (continue showing the rest of the initial scene maybe or follow up with a different meeting at a different time) but it still would have been a horrible tease for cutting off in the middle of something hot and heavy first. TLDR I was promised shenanigans and nothing happened. Not world-shattering, I'm still along for the ride, but it was disappointing. Just because it's short doesn't mean I can't feel cheated. Yes, I'm a bitch.
I keep reading these critiques and just feel worse and worse about this stupid, small, ugly story. I'm just probably gonna scrap the entire idea and...make something else out of it. Like hat-crafting. Hopefully it won't be utter shit next time. Sorry for wasting everyones time.
It's nothing to be ashamed of, especially if this is one of your first times. You haven't written anything that's out and out offensive. We're trying to help you give it a little spit shine. We like that you're contributing to the community, and we want to see you grow. Writing is like any art form. It seems simple, but it does take some practice and a great deal of effort. There's a base amount of research I have to do for any Team Fortress 2 story. Hell, I keep the wiki open when I write just to cross-reference different things. I didn't live through the late sixties/early seventies, so I have to read up on what was happening then. It helps if you can isolate something you can relate to from that era as well. Another thing to consider is what you like about the novels you read. Or, barring that, what fanfics you like. What are those author's strengths and weaknesses? When is Stephen King his scariest? Do you find Douglas Adams funny, or do you think he rambles unnecessarily? (I think the former, but I could see where people would think the latter.) Why are Janet Evanovich's characters so fascinating that they require eighteen novels? What in the hell is Haruki Murakami talking about? If nothing else, try some creative writing exercises. Sometimes, I have to write one story line in order to spark another. For example, I'm having problems with my Secret Santa prompt because it deals with a character that I have troubles relating to. I've got about a third to go, but it's slow going. So, I started work on another request from this site. Hell, I've got two other ideas in the wings, just in case I need other motivations. Keep trying. As one of my favorite mottos goes, "Try again. Fail again. Fail better."
I agree, the idea is fine and nobody, even in their most elaborate critiques, was all like "Hurr this idea sucks durr!" Please always remember: You get critiques because people care enough about you and your work to write them. If your stuff was utter and pure shit like you claim it to be, people would have either ignored it or just flamed. But we want to see you improve, not be chased off with pitch forks and torches. I agree with the idea of the poker game and the unusual pairings being very interesting (and that's coming from a rabid Helmetparty fan, so you can be proud of that!), but it needs fleshing out and some polishing like the previous posters said. That is nothing to be embarrased about, honestly. We all start somewhere. Just understand that critiques are not there to make you feel bad, but to support your growth as a writer. Keep it up and write! Chuck your stuff at us! We would like to see more.
>>19 Okay, listen up. I have horrible self-doubt. Constantly. So I understand, believe me I do. I would, however, kill for this kind of criticism because I sincerely would like to improve (oh and I know there are mistakes in mine... some of them I noticed after posting so I'm positive there are more that I missed) but I get almost none of it. This is not me being harsh. This is very far from me being harsh. I may have gone too far out into left field when responding to the author of Spellbound Sensations and that author isn't even used to English as a first language. As for anyone else and me included, well, take everything with a grain of salt. Most of it is a informative but, as always in this community, some of it is just personal opinion. If you vehemently disagree with something and you share your reasoning, it might actually change someone else's opinion. Or not. Most things can become acceptable if there is logic behind it. And for the folks who still can't handle it, it may or may not be a deal-breaker. For instance, I'm fine with Medic smoking. I don't even give a shit that the Germans figured out it gave people lung cancer first. I mean, the Nazis were against tobacco use! But they were Nazis and smoking was really popular back then so... yeah. There is a case for going either way and addiction is hard to break. All it takes is mentioning the why and the when and the how enough to convince someone. For anyone who absolutely can't accept the idea, that's okay. It doesn't matter. You can't please everyone. But hey, the sexy? Exposing the wrists. That is one of the sexy things about smoking. There are always detriments and even those can be included, as long as there is a strong reasoning for it being expressed. That's why I said it'd be good to show how it was sexy. That's the way to convince the reader that the story is correct. Otherwise, they have to fall back on their own knowledge and might disagree. They still might disagree even if you do describe why but as long as it's being described, the reader might agree to disagree and move on. The fact that these people all read your story to the end shows they were interested in it and that is nothing to sneeze at. Even if some had criticism, they enjoyed it enough to read it. That isn't a waste of time. Trust me, I don't normally read something if it doesn't grab me. (There are exceptions but that tends to be if the comments that follow grab my attention and make me want to go back to read it.) Personally, I love the ideas presented here. And I will steal your ideas if you decide to scrap it. I will fucking steal them like you would not believe. I might steal them if you keep going but it'll be a less obvious theft in that case. Everyone needs a little card game night and I wish more people wrote about it. I've intended to for awhile myself, at some point long before reading this, and I always love reading about that kind of thing regardless (again, avid traditional games fan here; I love the socializing and the strategy. When I say traditional I just mean versus video games, so that includes a wide variety of things.) There is so much fun that can be had with it, even when it isn't the sexy part. Hence my reaction. But don't take that personally. Also, part of my reaction was towards the folks who seemed to be saying "don't critique" which always gets on my nerves. There is nit-picky and what not (I admit that I probably am) but I have a knee-jerk reaction towards that general kind of attitude, even if that wasn't exactly what they meant by it. I am sorry if I came off too harsh or aggressive because of my emotional state. That wasn't my intent but I'm volatile at times. :1
>>19 No, Kieron! Don't leave! I was dutifully waiting for the next chapter! :( The card game provides a great opportunity for the TF2 classes to bond and see their character interactions. Scenes like the Engineer thinking the Medic smokes to look sexy are funny. It promises to explore pairings beyond the usual Heavy/Medic and Sniper/Spy stuff. To be honest, I thought your story has been one of the most promising additions to /afanfic/ these past few days. I think if you're offended, it might be because of the way some of the critiques have been written: If a user makes a several-paragraph post detailing all the negative critiques s/he has for your story only to slap an "overall, this story is good" on the last sentence, then it'll leave a false impression. The critic might genuinely think the story is good overall, but since most of the post is made of specific concrits with only a few vague compliments, everyone reading the post will be left with the false impression that the critic doesn't like the fic. In the creative writing classes I've taken where we peer-review on a regular basis, we learn to always make positive critiques before negative ones and to be specific about both so the writers are left with an accurate impression of their story's strengths and weaknesses and how their peers feel about it overall. This training is necessary, because otherwise well-meaning peer-reviewers end up leaving an impression that they they don't like your fics when they actually do. Am I saying that everyone on this thread who has made critiques like that is a horrible person? No, though I'd urge them to take my advice on writing critiques that better portray how they feel about a story. The point is, while there are stylistic and character choices that not all of us agree with, we don't thinks your fic is "utter shit," as you put it. The overall consensus is positive. I do have some actual critiques for your story itself. Some positive, some constructive, some in agreement with other users, and some in vehemently strong disagreement. But I'd rather wait until I know you're back on the thread before I spend time typing them out.
> 20 - 23 I just...man, I..you guys made me 'baw' like a lost baby sheep. To have Dove the Unoriginal, give me praise and to convince me to keep writing? Oh man. That was pretty powerful - you're one of my favorites on this board. And Mimi, thank you for all your kind words. I'm not fishing for any kind of praise, or compliments, my last post was truly how I fel about this story...but now I'm sitting down at a computer in the office at our apartment complex, and I'm able to truly revise and edit. I'm managed to secure myself a beta, and now I'm going to bust out the NEW first chapter of 'What You Thought You Wanted'. Oh and Dove...? Feel free to idea-jack me anytime. I love your stuff, especially your Solly x Sniper x Engie fanfic. I woner if it's polite to ask you guys if I could add you to my MSN...
>>24 Um, well thank you! I wasn't expecting that. (And I have an agreement to idea-jacking. In writing! Muwahahahaha! Er, I mean... HOLYCRAPWHAT'STHATOVERTHERE while I escape.) I don't see why it wouldn't be polite to ask us. You can add me if you like but I'm almost never on any messaging programs these days. Also feel free to email if you like.
>>24 I KNOW! When Dove reviews your work, its so awesome... Also, I still feel bad for being so picky earlier. I really do love this.
Heh heh. Well, I'm really no one on these boards to get excited about. I've only been here like five months or so. I personally didn't think you were too picky, Mael, though mileage does vary. I suppose >>9 Anon had a point about there being a difference between being a beta and being a critic, which I hadn't considered before I'll admit.
Well I finished my revised first chapter, so I am not just waiting on Mael to beta it for me. :D
Oh lordy why is there so much review and so little fic? My heart is broken. I am eager for more!