1 . Name: Ultra @ 2011-11-07 06:08

Welcome to the reviewed and revamped Cette Histoire, now with 90% better spelling and a 20% improvement on sentence and paragraph structure.
Please enjoy the latest update as well.
-Ultra



________{THE DEAD RED}_________



Long roughly spun brown rope hung from his ceiling, tied neatly into a coiling knot, leaving the perfect space for his head to poke through. Spy tightened the coarse affair around his neck solemnly, his cheeks flushed beneath the balaclava. His trousers had been carelessly tossed aside in his excitement, sweat staining his unbuttoned white shirt, his tie getting caught up in the noose. He stroked his dick frantically, lips and teeth parted to gasp and groan quietly in his meagre loft far below the ramparts of Teufort. He slowly sank to his knees, the rough cord chaffing his neck as it tightened like an anaconda around his slender neck.
Spy shivered violently, grunting with anguish as his orgasm refused to come unless he gave into the noose. With a cry of frustration he rose to his feet and shortened the length of rope between the rafter and the floorboards. He let his legs fail beneath him and swung helplessly by his throat, clutching his cock and pumping viciously. He choked and keened at the pressure around his throat feeling blood raise in his cheeks, trapped. His ears pounded and his lungs begged fruitlessly for oxygen. Suffocating, Spy gurgled, blood pooling in his throat, his cock weeping viscous precum. With something like words Spy came hard, vaguely hearing splatters a yard away.

“Vhe mustn’t cry Scout.” Medic soothed from inside the boy’s abdomen.
“Only ze BLU’s cry. Not strong young RED’s.” Medic swallowed his mouthful of semen covered liver, still pulsating in his mouth with Scout’s lifeforce.
Medic’s cock was still buried in the Scout, shoved to the hilt into the place where a healthy young man’s cock ought to be. But Scout’s unfortunate genitalia had been thrown aside in a bloody mess. Medic was preoccupied with fucking the gaping hole he had carved between the Scout’s legs, devouring his organs in turn. The Scout had screamed until the Medic punctured his diaphragm. Now all the boy could do was sob and drown in the blood clogging his mouth and nose.
Medic shovelled another greedy handful of Scout’s innards into his mouth, ejaculating as a knock scarred him out of his wits.
“DOKTOR.” Came Heavy’s call. Medic shook from pleasure and sudden terror. The big man behind the door rattled the knob, threatening to bring down the entire wall. Medic leapt from the Scout’s gurgling almost-corpse and flung a sheet over him, tearing off his bloody clothes and pulling on a dressing gown, smearing blood from his face onto its soft lining.
“DOKTOR!” Heavy bellowed again and Medic shucked his glasses, fixed his hair and opened the door.
“Vhat.” He spat at the Russian disdainfully. Heavy threw an injured Sniper into arms.
“Is Sniper.” Heavy pointed out. Medic barely caught the gangly gunman and promptly dropped him.
“Ja.” Vhy do you bring me a dead Sniper at this hour, mien liebe. Do tell me.” Medic said with some crassness. Heavy almost spoke but sniffed.
“Smells like blood, Doktor.” He said, caution squaring his big, broad shoulders. “You haff been doing bad things. I smell dees things!” Heavy barked before Medic could make up an excuse. Heavy’s little eyes scanned the medical bay while Medic tried to bar him from entering.
“It is late, mien liebe. Herr Sniper will respawn tomorrow. Get some schleep!” Medic threw gloved hands on the human tank’s chest, trying to push him out.
“DOKTOR.” Heavy barked, picking the Medic up and moving him aside. “You annoy I tell you ‘stop doing bad things or I will punish.’ You think I did not tell truth?” Heavy queried, his massive hands still on Medic’s forearms.
“Heavy! Vhat I do is mien own business! Leave. I do not vant a fight. Leave, ve vhill talk tomorrow.”
While the unlikely pair bickered, Sniper snorted awake and disoriented. Had he finally been abducted? A glance up and he became very still. Not abducted, but perhaps kidnapped for some terrible experimentation. So yes abducted. But by a Russian and a German.
Had Australia even been a part of that war?
Sniper inched away, further into the medical bay and beneath the examination table, hidden beneath the overhang of a white sheet tossed on top of it.
SAFE. For now. He put his back against the center leg of the table and looked around his tiny hiding space. He brought his long booted feet close grunting as his naked, knobbly knees cracked in protest. He near shite himself when Scout’s hand smacked the back of his head.
“Jesus-!” Sniper hissed grabbing the startling hand and acknowledging that it was indeed Scout’s bandage wrapped hand.
“…Christ…”

“WHO IS BACK THERE DOKTOR!?” The Russian bellowed, shaking Medic.
“No von! No von mien liebe!” Medic defended passionately, a manly middle aged ragdoll in the Bear’s hands. “Zere is only ever you in mien heart!”
“LIES! Dere is someone here!”
Medic barrelled through Heavy’s last chance with cries of “Nien mien liebe, no von!” and the big man pushed him aside and stomped towards the examination table flinging the sheet away.
Rage blossomed in the Bear’s face. He shook with it as he drew the cloth back over the dead Scout.
Sniper cowered beneath the operating table half of him trying not to run, the other half helplessly stifling the giggles.
“Doktor…” Heavy’s voice rumbled like a lion’s roar. “No vords.” He spat bitterly shoving by the Medic and out the door, slamming it behind himself.
Sniper actually felt bad about it all for a moment, but then he didn’t. He felt an immense, wholly consuming fear.
“Guten Abend der Herr Heckenschütze.”

“I only got one thing to say to you.” Came the tacky southern drawl from across the room. “Stick ‘em up.” Finger pistols drawn, Engineer struck a pose, his cock hanging heavily between his thick thighs. Spurs rang on his boots as he took a step forward.
“Pheh. Those peashooters aren’t worth a lick.” Came Soldiers gruff, amused response from where he sat on the bed. “I’ll show you some real guns.” He stood and mimicked Scout’s flexing antics. Engineer laughed and tipped his hat back.
“Yer funnier then you let on, Sal.” He beamed, getting his cowboy booted feet planted amidst Soldier’s army boots. Soldier grinned. Engie had long ago learned that this grin was saved for him and killing Spies.
Soldier kissed at the air between their lips teasingly. “I had to humour myself out of a concentration camp. There aren’t a crowd harder to amuse this side of hell then miserable Jews.”
“Sometimes the things that come outta your mouth, Sal…” But the Texan’s general amusement was cut short by Soldier’s impatience, kissing him hard on the mouth.
Engie chirped approvingly, rasping their stubbly facial hair as he worked their mouths together. He coaxed and teased Soldier’s eager, inexperienced tongue, moaning in approval when Soldier picked up on a previous session and suckled the tip of Engie’s tongue.
After a heartbeat or twenty, Engie pushed Soldier’s head back with his own forehead, his meaty paws gripping the Soldier’s ass tightly to keep him from retreating.
“I wanna fuck you tonight, Sal.” He said huskily. Soldier didn’t blanch or blush, but froze, subdued alarm and caution etched over his coarse square features.
“Angie, damnit…Damnit Angie.” Soldier barked his frozen expression shattering to a blustering, flustered embarrassment. Engineer didn’t let him go despite his wriggling.
“Why do you gotta call it that.” Soldier finally burst. “It’s so…San Francisco fruity faggoty. All gay words start with F.”
Engie took a moment before he burst out laughing.
“Alright, what about ‘family’?”
“Family makes men soft. Soft men are just asking to become fruitcakes.”
“Friends?”
“Only fags have friends. Real men have allies.”
“France?”
“Spy.”
Engineer laughed “Too true. What about…Friction.” Engie purred, grinding against Soldier’s naked hips with his own naked hips. “Or fightin’.”
Soldier grunted, bracing himself on Truckie’s arms.
“School girls fight. Men beat the shit out of each other. With bullets.” He gasped, Engie pushing them back to the bed.
“Alright, Sally, you win. What do you want me to call it.” Engie asked as he forced Soldier down onto the cot and manoeuvred him into a comfortable position for them both, Engineer cradled between Soldier’s thick head crushing thighs, the RED blooded American’s calves squeezing the Southerner’s butt.
“You will call it what it is!” Soldier barked, giving Engie a squeeze that made him think he’d throw up.
“Sex?” He coughed, and immediately kissed over Soldier’s wounded look.
Soldier took a moment to gather his courage and looked Engineer full in the face.
“That’s making’ love to you, Private Angie!”
Engie was startled for a moment, and then chuckled, kissing Soldier’s thickly corded neck.
“Alright, Sally. I wanna make love to you till the coyotes can’t yip and the cows run out of God’s growin’ grass to feed on.”
“…Permission granted.”

In a rather comic fashion Sniper’s china rattled together violently as he tried to fit the tea cup onto saucer.
“You saw the vhay he vas. Belligerent! He knows nos’ing of how mien mind vorks. He sinks zhat because I haff zhe Scout and zhe blood and erections zhat I am not loving him!” Medic ranted, though seated comfortably across the examination table, the dead Scout sporting a tea set where his intestines should be.
“Erections are nos’ing but a response to stimuli, not a sign of luff or ozzer such matters of zhe brain!” Medic jabbed his own noggin to accentuate.
With a great sigh and a sudden stupor, the doctor fell back into his chair, listless.
For a few moments only the frantic clattering of Sniper’s china filled the room.
“Herr Sniper…” Medic started slowly thinking. “Earlier, vhen mien liebe brought you, you vhere quite dead!”
Sniper pitched into a high terrified laugh.
“Oh! Quoite roight! ‘Bout that. Turns out. It weren’t anything. Gottan early day tomorrow, though, I oughtta be goin’.” The lanky Australian threw down the china and leapt to his booted feet, bolting for the door. With a whine of despair he realized Medic was faster.
“Nien! You must stay.” The Medic insisted. Sniper had the terribly offensive urge to tell the Medic that this was a medical bay not an oven.
“No, look, nine. I can’t. Battle tomorrow. Need my rest.” Sniper balked, his confidence growing now that the dead Scout wasn’t between them. “Thanks for the…Tea.”
Sniper shoved the Medic aside and bolted from the medical bay as quickly as his bandy, bad kneed legs could carry him.

“Call it. Say it. Scream my name.” Engineer growled balls deep in Soldier who was sweating profusely chomping on the bit. Engineer jerked the reigns in his hand and dug his spurs into Soldier’s calf. “Come on now ya stubborn mule.” Engineer pounded Soldier raw, making him arch with each pull on the reigns. Soldier whinnied and snorted looking more like a mad bull then anything.
“Ah shit, Sal…” Engie panted twisting the reign around one hand, using both to pull the Soldier’s hips back. Soldier tried to throw back a hand to grab at Engie, to pull him closer, to fuck him harder, but Engie caught it and tied it up in the reigns, holding Soldier’s arm captive at the middle of his back.
Soldier let out a sharp moan and Engie dug both spurs into his legs, leaning over his back and fucking him with everything he had. Finally Soldier broke into a badly tuned chorus of grunts and moans, some sounding treasonously like pleads for mercy. Others barked orders. Engie ignored it all.
“I’m gonna come inside you, boy.” He snarled, “I’m gonna come so hard you’re gonna taste it.” He shoved the military man down to his chest and tied up his other arm in the reigns.
“How do you like that.” Engineer grunted his face flushed beneath the goggles. “Ya hogtied bitch.” He jerked Soldier’s hips higher and earned a wail from the man drooling all over himself and the bed.
Engineer smirked, biting a mark he’d left months ago on Soldier’s shoulder, splitting it back open.
Soldier didn’t respond to pain, but Engineer’s cock pounding against his prostate brought him to screams.
“You better be callin’ my name, boy!” Engie threatened from behind grit teeth, ready to burst. Soldier did the closest thing to whimper as he was physically capable of and chomped the bit, a muffled, drooly, “Angie, oh fucking American Christ, Angie!”
Engineer slapped Soldier’s bare ass and reached around his hips to take care of him.
“Good boy.” Engie praised grunting shortly his big paw wrapped around Soldier’s thick impossibly hard cock. “You come now, Sal. Come for me.”
Soldier hardly needed the encouragement, bursting with cum ad choked whines, his body jerking.
Engineer tried to ride through Soldier’s spasms but found himself coming soon after, his own body quaking with the intensity of his release.
“Oh…Ah…Fuck…” The Texan panted, collapsing from his efforts, falling back onto the bed. Soldier grunted gruffly, wriggling in his restraints. Engie gave him a lazy slap.
“I don’t think so, Sal. I think I’m just gonna keep you like this forever.” He chuckled, fingering the Soldier’s abused ass idly. “You’d like that wouldn’t you.” A smirked formed on Engineer’s lips just long enough to have Soldier believing him.
Engie sat up though, and untied the military man, pulling the bit from his mouth. Soldier sighed with relief, flexing his aching jaw and lips.
“How was that for making love?” Engie asked, cuddling into the Soldier’s hairy chest tweaking a nipple.
“Satisfactory.” Soldier conceded. Engineer laughed.
“Can’t argue with you there pardner.”

Out of the clutches of Medic, Sniper wound his way through RED side of Teufort in his boxers, boots and vest.
“AND STAY OOT, YA SHE-DEVIL!” Demo screamed, throwing out the naked Pyro.
“GO FUCK YOURSELF!” Pyro screamed back. Sniper covered his groin with both hands.
Pyro picked up her rubber suit and mask, swearing loudly as she picked herself up as well. She fixed her bra, tucking a large, bruised breast back into its safe padding.
“Hey, Sniper.” She barked, shoving past him, her face bright red with anger and marks of abuse. Sniper tipped his head politely. He knew she was alright. She always was. That was just them. Demo was definitely in worse shape.
Sniper scuttled past Demo’s room, slowing down at Spy’s. It was strangely lacking obnoxiously French music. Sniper would have knocked, but Demo burst out of his room, screaming after the long gone Pyro to come get her inflatable orca. His left arm hung awkwardly at his side, bent above the elbow.
Sniper couldn’t get out to his camper van fast enough after Demo started throwing sex and pool toys alike out into the hallway, along with broken XXX bottles.
Sniper threw open the door, the van rattling and groaning as he pulled himself inside and locked the door tight. Only when he heard the click did he let out a long, low sigh of relief. He scratched his scalp and turned into the black dark of his van, stumbling over mess to his bed. Hauling himself up to it he laid down, kicking off his boots.
“Next time we play cowboys and Injuns you’re not allowed to have the tranquillizer gun.” Sniper said flatly. BLU Spy chuckled from across the camper van, laid out on the couch, feather sticking out of his balaclava. “We should ‘ave stuck to paint balls.”
“I think our Spy finally offed himself.”
“’Ow exciting. Maybe I could get a transfer.”
Sniper chuckled tiredly, sitting up to pull thin sheets over his gangly limbs, chucking the vest away.
“Maybe you should get some sleep. You know they’d probably let you back in if you had a shower mate.”
It was Spy’s turn to chuckle. He did so with a bit more energy then Sniper.
“I enjoy ze smell of filsy men.”
Sniper barked a laugh and waved Spy off.
“G’noight.”
“Night night.”

Engineer tucked himself into his own bed the blankets drawn up to his chest. He laid with his arms out staring at the ceiling.
Engineer was not good with love. He solved practical problems; he didn’t canoodle with matters of the heart. He thought carefully about his relationship with Soldier, tried to take it apart and put it back together like a sentry but there were pieces that didn’t fit and pieces that were missing it seemed.
After five minutes of this intense brainwork Truckie was sound asleep.
His almost significant other, however, didn’t sleep, or couldn’t. He too didn’t usually fraternize with matters of the heart. He left that to women. He’d said making love, and goddamn it all he meant it. He didn’t have to be a cheese eating surrender monkey to know what love was. And what he felt for the Texan was infringing on that territory.
Soldier didn’t spend time thinking about this, however, it just was. What Soldier was biting his nails over was the shape of a sickle in the cracks on his ceiling. That was communist. RED was a communist colour. Could he secretly be working for commies? But the American flag had RED in it…and BLU.

After the ritual screams of Demo and Pyro as they came face to face in the shower, the morning continued on to meeting up in the Resupply room, weapons at the ready.
Demo’s leg was on fire and he ignored it. Pyro’s suit was black and smouldering along one side, still smoking from a ‘misfired’ sticky bomb.
Soldier was nowhere to be seen, but could have gone to another resupply room. Engineer glanced around for him anxiously before the sirens started to go off.


Sniper opened bleary eyes, the BLU Spy crashing around his van. “Mon dieu mon dieu-“ He was muttering. Sniper heard the wail of the sirens and bolted from bed, banging around the tiny interior for his clothes. “Why didn’t you wake me up?” He barked at the Spy, who was looking for his own suit.
“I was not even awake!” Spy snapped back, falling for an expensive leather shoe being used to prop open the bathroom door. “You were using my shoe as a door stop!?”
Sniper tugged on a high collared RED shirt and pawed around his bed for his jeans. “I didn’t know it was your shoe, mate.”
“Why did you use it to keep ze bathroom door open!?” Spy exclaimed, in shock from the mistreatment and the indefinable need for the bathroom door being open.
“I piss a lot!” Sniper snapped back, finding a boot before his jeans and tugging it on, falling back to the camper floor. Spy almost cursed at him but found his suit jacket and his other shoe. “PUTAIN. WHERE IS EVERY’SING.” He shouted at the camper. “VOTRE CONNARD D’UN VAN ‘AS EATEN ALL OF MY WEAPONS! MY SHIRT! MY PANTS!” Sniper rolled onto his feet, grabbing at the jeans Spy was stepping on. “SHATAP AN’ GERROF MY JEANS!”

Battle was battle and that was that. After the episode with the fucking almost-couple, it went normally, or as normally as battle can go when two of the heaviest hitters decide to play hooky.
No one had seen Soldier or Heavy all battle. Sniper figured Heavy was sulking somewhere, probably telling his gun sweet nothings like…Well, whatever sounded sweet and loving in Russian.
Medic, however, seemed a bit more worried. Sniper wasn’t too concerned with Medic, though, after watching Scout double jump himself to death to get away from the Doctor. He usually snickered whenever the kid fell to a clumsy death, but knowing the reason why just made the situation sad.
Sniper slung his rifle over his shoulder when the final siren went off and found himself respawning.
“Fucking wanker.” He grumbled, rubbing the feeling of post-battle headshot away. The BLU Sniper always took the free shot. One day…One day Sniper would run over there and cut him. Cut him so badly he’d bleed out during the final siren. And Sniper would laugh and point and cut him again. “Wanker.” He grumbled again, hearing the click of Demo’s bomblobber as the Cyclops came in to store his weapon and get out of his uniform.
“Good battle today!” The Demo chirped, slapping Sniper on the back as the lanky Australian tried to disappear.
“S’aroight.” Sniper conceded with a sigh, taking off his vest, hat and glasses. “See you and Pyro made up.”
Demo was stripped to his skivvies and grabbing a towel. “Oh aye. Made up real pretty.” Demo said with a wink, slapping Sniper’s ass as he walked away to the showers.
Sniper scowled at his locker, slamming it shut. They were both flipping retarded, but at least it kept the rest of them safe from Pyro.
With tense shoulders Sniper shucked the rest of his clothes, relinquishing them to the clothes hamper and grabbing his own towel. It had been white at some point. And it smelled terrible. Sniper wasn’t sure if you were actually supposed to wash towels.
He swung the towel over his shoulder. Nearly everyone in Teufort had the same bits, and they’d all seen each other’s at some point, so having the tackles and tuna hanging around wasn’t that big of a deal, and headed down to the showers.
He wasn’t even half way there and he could hear Scout screaming about Medic’s abuse, Medic yelling back about Science, Demo telling Pyro how much he loved her, Pyro giggling and telling him to wait till tonight, and Truckie, whooping and hollering about a sentry kill.
No.
Sniper turned heel and wrapped his towel around his waist, threading his way through the hallways of Teufort. He passed Spy’s room and paused. Still no music. Looking up and down the hallway, he knocked. “Spoih?” He asked the door softly. Of course the door didn’t answer. Sniper knocked again. “Spoih, you alright? No one’s seen ya…” He tried the handle, but it was locked. He stared at the door, looked back up and down the hallway, and stooped forward. He took a long sniff at the crack of the door. No smell. If there was a smell in three days, Sniper would ask Heavy to break down the door.
Anyways, leaving Spy’s door, Sniper went to his van, giving the waiting BLU Spy a wave.
“Ah, I see you ‘ave truly regressed to a philistine.” Spy said approvingly of Sniper’s makeshift towel loincloth. Sniper chuckled.
“You can use the showers here if ya want, mate. Jus’ disguise yourself as me.” Sniper said, unlocking his van and letting them both in. BLU Spy almost seemed to consider it.
“’Ow do I know you’re not setting me up for some terrible rape from your secret lover?” He asked, peeling off his suit jacket and tossing it on top of a heap of laundry Sniper should probably just throw out.
“If I had a bloke here, mate, I wouldn’t have you crawlin’ around my van like some hairy tarantula.” Sniper told him, digging through the very same pile of fetid laundry for a pair of underwear that was still flexible enough to put on.
Yes, Sniper and BLU Spy were rather disgusting human beings, hygienically at least, but they were happy.
“Are we going to play today? I believe it is my turn to choose as I keeled you the most.” BLU Spy said, digging through the same pile to steal a sleeveless undershirt and cut off jean shorts.
“Yeah, you decide. No tranquilizer guns. I never wan’to wake up in Medic’s office again. Jeezus you shoulda seen whar he did with our poor Scout.” Sniper said, turning his back to BLU Spy as he pulled up his underwear beneath the towel. Behind him BLU Spy got comfortable in Sniper’s clothes, hunting around for an extra pair of boots. Sniper dropped his towel and pawed for a cowboy hat on top of a cupboard.
“I heard your Scout talking with our Scout about eet.” BLU Spy said with a shrug, sitting on the couch-bed to pull them on. “’E said the only part he remembers clearly was somsing about a teaset.”
Sniper blanched, not bothering to look for a shirt once he pulled the cowboy hat on. He looked down at himself, naked feet, boxers, cowboy hat. How did he ever come to this?
“So what are we playin’, Spook?”

“Oh look, the boys are playing again.” Pyro said with a smile on her face. She had her chin in her hand, elbow on the windowsill of Demo’s bedroom. Demo came up behind her, kissing her soft orange hair. He looked over her head to watch Sniper and BLU Spy tumbling around the common area between Forts like Indiana Jones in their underwear. “They’re so cute.”
“Tha’s a fine bit o’ treason.” Demo said warily, but he let himself smile a little. It reminded him of a trip to Vegas he took with…With a very close friend.
He gave Pyro’s fair shoulder a squeeze, bringing her attention back to him. But she was stiff under his hand. “You always have to see the dark side of everything.” She said sulkily.
“Ooh, come now, lassy, don’t be like that.” Demo said, kissing her shoulder. Pyro turned away from the window, a shout of “I HIT YOU! I CAN SEE THE PAINT!” Following her into the bedroom. Demo turned on the ceiling fan, leaving his lean black torso stretched out for Pyro to run her white hands over, and her arms to encircle. She looked up at Demo, who lowered his arms to rest on her shoulders. “Aye, shorty?” Demo asked Pyro’s wistful expression.
“I love you.” She said, smiling. Demo smiled back, kissing her mouth. Pyro laughed softly, kissing him back. Demo caught himself looking for Pyro’s bra strap only to remember that they were both completely naked, and had been for the last two hours. “I ne’er get tired o’ you.” He said quietly, his voice rumbling like thunder. Pyro shivered coyly. “Ye’ve got sucha beautiful buday.” Picking out his favourite parts of her with his huge black hands, he squeezed her ass, grinding his naked hips and flaccid cock against her neatly trimmed groin. Pyro moaned encouragingly, taking her hands from his shoulder blades and leaning back, groping her own tits with a sly smirk. Demo stooped to lick her offered nipples, fondling her ass, his cock starting to get the general idea.


Truckie had gotten over his hard on for his sentries for the moment and was starting to notice that Teufort was different. It was quiet other than Sniper and BLU Spy occasionally running through screaming “SPARTACUS!” at each other. Engineer sat by himself in the air conditioned rec room, beer held in hand, set on knee. He sat, and he thought, and he stared, in a clean version of his uniform. And he sat. And stared.
“YOU THECIAN DOG!” Sniper bellowed at the BLU Spy running with only one boot. It’s mate came sailing over his head, Sniper appearing in the rec room.
“You fellas seen Soldier?”


“MIEN LIEBE!” It was the worst sound anyone in the Team had ever heard. OR at least Scout, because he was the only one who was close enough to hear it. But that was Medic’s voice. And Medic was FUCKING TERRIFYING. SO NO FUCKING WAY.
But alas Medic was suddenly in Scout’s face, grabbing him by the tags. “VHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MIEN LIEBE!?”
“I DIDN’T DO SHIT TO NO ONE MAN!” Scout shrieked, fighting off the Medic with everything he had. “LET GO OF ME! LET GO! LET GO!” He screamed, but Medic held him fast, glaring at him.
“YOU’VE KILLED HIM! YOU’VE KILLED MIEN LIEBE! YOU JEALOUS FOOL!” Medic screamed back, shaking the Scout when he started to bite. “Stop zhat it hurts!” He snapped, then continued screaming. “I EM NOT IN LOVE VIS YOU! I LOVE MIEN HEAVY AND YOU COULD NOT HANDLE IT, COULD YOU? YOU KILLED HIM!”
“HELP! HEELP!” That would work, right? Someone would come help him?
BLU Spy skid to a halt, eyes darting around to the vague sound of distress, his Spy senses tingling. Sniper crashed into him, sending them both flying over the bridge and into the creek below.
Sputtering both men came up for air, Sniper laughing. “The Hell, mate?” He asked, treading water. BLU Spy tried to listen again over the sounds of Sniper talking and moving water.
“I ‘sought I ‘eard somsing. A scream, per’aps.” He said with a shrug. Sniper waved it off.
“Daon worry, mate. Prolly just Demo and Pyro fightin’. They’ve been made up for nearly a whole day.”


“HARDER!” Pyro was indeed screaming, a fistful of her hair held tightly in Demo’s black hand, the Cyclop’s forcing her face into the pillows and her ass up higher.
“I’m givin’ her all I’ve got ye greedy bitch!” He barked back, his wrist thick cock stretching Pyro’s pussy further then what would be naturally possible. Tears ran down Pyro’s face as she screamed, begging and encouraging and degrading the Demo for all she was worth.
Demo’s thrusts were deep and powerful, pushing Pyro’s abdomen out with each movement. She clawed at Demo’s legs, blood collecting beneath her nails as she raked his skin, begging him to go faster.
“Come on, baby! I’m gonna cum. I’m gonna cum so hard.” She whimpered, trying to lick a bit of annoying hair away from her lips.
Demo chuckled hoarsely. “Ya ye are ye slut.” He grunted through grit teeth. He jerked her head back by her hair and kissed her throat, slamming his impressive cock into her. She was reduced to screams of pleasure, arching her back just a little, and just like that Demo was destroying her G-spot. Her eyes flew open and her body lurched as she started to cum, exploding with pleasure between her legs, her tight pussy clenching around Demo. Her body tensed and she froze, Demo still slamming into her, spurred on by her screams of “YesYEsYESYESYESYES!!”
Even as her orgasm ended, Demo still pounded into her viciously, manning through the intense contractions of her incredible pussy. “Oh yeah y’like that.” He groaned, smirking with self-satisfaction.
“Come on, baby. Cum inside me. Cum, baby.” Pyro coaxed, trying to fix her make up while Demo was distracted by his closeness to orgasm. Demo panted and sweat above her, letting go of her hair to use both hands to bring Pyro’s hips back as he thrust forward, choking out surprised moans from Pyro. He started to shudder as he thrust, his pace faultering and his grip tightening.
“I’m cumming, oh Pyro baby I’m cumming.” He stammered, and let out a bellow, his cock twitching violently inside Pyro and spewing out ribbons of warm cum deep inside her. Pyro let out a sharp gasp and slowly rocked her hips, milking the Demo dry. “Oh yeah, baby, so good.” She purred, running a hand through her sweaty hair. Demo let out a loud sigh of deep relief and fell backwards, pulling Pyro with him. He laid flat on his back on the floor, Pyro perched on his lap. He ran a black hand over her back and shoulder blades and gave her ass a teasing slap. Pyro was oddly quiet, though.
Demo struggled to sit up, kissing her shoulder. “You’re amazing.” He said to her hair, brushing it aside.
“I asked you to stop calling me names during sex.” She said quietly as well. Demo bristled.
“It was fine last week.” He said defensively.
“You didn’t say you love me.”
Demo was thrown off by that one. “What?”
“When I said I love you, you didn’t say it back.” Pyro said, getting off of Demo’s lap and picking up her underwear. Demo scowled.
“So? What’s tha’ got to do with callin’ ya a bitch?”
“Nothing! Don’t call me a bitch! Or a slut! I don’t like it! I told you!” Pyro snapped back, cum running down her thighs. She swore and picked up one of Demo’s shirts, cleaning herself off.
“I’ll call ya what I wanttae call you!” Demo barked back, grabbing his shirt from her.
“Don’t get mah shirts all dirty!”
“IT’S YOUR JIZZ!”
“I DONNAE CARE IF IT’S ICE CREAM! USE YER OWN CLOTHES FOR THAT!”
“IF YOU’D KEEP A TOWEL AROUND I WOULDN’T HAVE TO USE CLOTHES AT ALL!”

“Kill me.”
Scout’s eyes flew open. Oh Jesus, oh god, oh my gad what is-
“Kill me, please.”
“What?”
“I SAID KILL ME! MON DIEU KILL ME, S’IL VOUS PLAIT.”
“Whoa dude shut up! I don’t speak fag!”
Medic scowled, hearing the two heads bickering in his fridge. He was sitting in the dark, arms crossed over his chest, Scout’s violated body sprawled across his operating table, blood still dripping from its neck.
“VILL YOU BE QVIET!? I AM TRYING TO ‘SINK!” Medic yelled. Neither head shut up.
“JESUS CHRIST, MAN, WHERE’S YOU BODY!?”
Medic rubbed his temples, getting up from his office chair and escaping the medical bay to his bedroom. He set his glasses on his bedside table, rubbing his eyes as well. He pulled off his lab coat, throwing it over the back of his reading chair. He flicked the light on and walked to his bed, lying beside the mauled body of his Heavy. He draped an arm over the dead Heavy’s chest, worry tightening his eyes, the pain of loss making them glisten brightly in the dimly lit room.
“Oh, mien liebe. Tell me who did zhis to you.” He whispered, burying his face in Heavy’s cold shoulder.
Sniper threw himself into his van, the BLU Spy dropping in beside him, both panting and covered head to toe in paint. Sniper tossed his stick, still covered in wet paint, into a corner. “Good game, mate, good game.” He panted, giving BLU Spy an approving slap on the chest. BLU Spy laughed, returning the slap.
“You truly fight as a warrior, mon ami. Un vrai Sprtacus.”
“You know I don’t understand any of that shit.” Sniper chuckled, patting the Spy’s chest. BLU Spy again returned the pat.
“Ah, zat is what makes it fun.”
“You better not be saying anything anyone could blackmail me for.” Sniper said with a grin, closing his eyes. Spy waved it off.
“Of course not.” He rolled to his side, but Sniper’s hand didn’t move. He was exhausted, moving was not an option. He was old and creaky and tuckered out.
“I think I’m jus’ gonna sleep here.” He sighed tiredly. BLU Spy shook his head.
“Non, non, Sniper. Go to bed. We ‘ave battle tomorrow.” Spy argued, picking himself up from the pile of filth they had fallen onto. He slapped at Sniper’s chest. “Come, mon ami. I won’t ‘elp you up.” Spy slapped his hollow cheeks. “Go, go, go.” He urged, but Sniper grabbed his hand, cracking open an eye to give him a mock glare that was almost serious. “Shatap, mate. I’m tired, I’ll sleep where I damn well feel loike.”
BLU Spy lounged back down into the filth, half of that filth being Sniper. “Mon ami, I will not sleep with you. I can ‘ear your couch calling me. ‘Monsieur, monsieur I am so lonely!’”
“My couch ain’t French.”
“Ah, but it is the closest thing to a French woman I ‘ave seen in years. Lumpy, fuzzy, all zhe things I love.”
Sniper burst into laughter, tossing Spy’s hand away and rolling to his knees. “Only sheilas I ever slept with wot sounds like that were blokes.”
BLU Spy raised an eyebrow as Sniper crawled to his bed, shrugging off his boots as he went. “’Blokes’? Is zhat bushman for transvestite?” He asked, rolling to his side. Sniper chuckled.
“No, bloke means bloke, mate.” He flopped onto his bed, pulling his cowboy hat off and throwing it at Spy. “Don’tchu get any funny ideas, Spook.”
BLU Spy threw that hat back at him, dragging himself to the couch he had claimed.
“I did not know you…’Swung’ zhat way.” He said, pulling off his paint caked undershirt and borrowed boots. “I’m not surprised, of course.”
Sniper tried to reach for something else to throw at the BLU Spy, but that would require sitting up, and that was far too much work. “You sayin’ I look like a poofter?” He growled.
“I’m saying you are a lonely, desperate old man.” Spy said, now intrigued, resting his head on his hand, watching the Sniper in the dark.
Sniper sighed. “Why else would I let you sleep in here, ey?” He said, his head flopping over to look at Spy. Oh, their eyes met. Too intimate, weird. He turned his head back to face the ceiling.
“Does zhis mean you’re scheming to defile me?” Spy teased. Sniper snorted.
“I’d hate to ruin a good friendship.” Sniper said, reciting the same line he’d gotten several times over the years with a chuckle.
“Ah, zhe terrible friendzone. I ‘ave ‘eard of it. We do not ‘ave zhis in France. We ezer ‘ave sex with you or drown you for being to ugly to ‘ave sex with.”
“Croickey, mate, how’d you survive.”


“Sal?” Engineer said quietly, knocking on Soldier’s door, glancing down the hall. “Sal, you alright?” He asked, trying the door knob. The door was unlocked. Engineer pushed it open, ignoring the chills from the creak of it’s hinges.
“Sally?” He asked the mostly empty room. The light was on, and Shovel was on the bed, so Soldier couldn’t be far. Enginner crept in further. There wasn’t anywhere for a big man like Soldier to hide in such a bare room except for under the bed. Engineer didn’t put it past the coot to be under there, either. He got to his hands and knees and looked under, but only saw a small metal trunk. That trunk was full of things Engineer never, ever, ever wanted to see again.
Engineer hmm’d and got back to his feet, clapping his hands of dust and dirt. He opened his hands and found huge smears of red on his palms. “What in tarnation?” He mumbled, looking at the ground and there were Truckie sized handprints on the hardwood. He looked around at the doorknob, wondering where this…Paint? Came from.
Drip
Truckie nearly jumped out of his skin, wrench in hand. “SPAH’S SAPPIN’ MAH SENTRIES!” He cried, swinging madly at the corners of Solly’s room.
Drip
Truckie’s heart pounded as he searched wildly for the sound. He dropped his wrench when he looked up at the ceiling.
“MEDIC!”


Engineer burst into Medic’s personal room, skidding to a halt and falling on his ass, scrambling to get back onto his feet. “WHAT THE HELL IS THAT.” He barked, pointing at the massacre that was Heavy. Medic exploded in German, screaming and swearing and saying things that would have stopped Engineer’s heart if he understood a goddamn word of any of it.
“GET AUGHT! GET AUGHT!!” Medic bellowed, shoving the Engineer, humiliated and furious. Engineer beat him off, screaming back at him. “HEAVY’S KILLED SOLDIER!”
Medic punched Engineer square in the jaw, sending the shorter man stumbling back.
“NIEN! MIEN HEAVY IS DEAD.” His voice cracked as he grabbed Engineer’s collar and shook him roughly. “DEAD! SLICED FROM ZHE INSIDE OUT LIKE….LIKE SOME VILD ANIMAL.” He cried, tears gathering in his enraged eyes. Engineer kicked and punched until the Doctor was forced to drop him.
“HE KILLED SOLDIER! THERE’S A GREAT BIG OL’ SICKLE ON HIS CEILING! I AIN’T SEEN HIM ALL DAY!” He barked, his turn to grab the Medic and throw him around for all he was worth. “HE LEFT SHOVEL!” He screamed, now just as furious as Medic.
The fact that the Soldier left Shovel behind seemed to bring Medic out of his anger. Panting, he said something in German, cleared his head, and said it again in English. “Mien Heavy is not respawning.” He said tensely, looking at the Engineer accusingly.
“Respawn don’t kick in till morning time, you know that.” Engineer defended, legs spread for another brawl with the medical man.
“He has been dead for twelve hours.” Medic clarified, in much of the same stance as Engineer. Both men eyed each other from behind glasses and goggles. Then Engineer blanched as he worked out the math. “He didn’t respawn during battle?” He said, his stance dropping to Oh My God. The Medic drew himself up elegantly, nodding. “He vas dead before it even started.”
Engineer wanted to throw up. “Respawn’ll pick him up. She’s just slow today.” He said, defensive of his baby. Thousands of calculations ran through his mind as he tried to figure out why Respawn wasn’t picking up on Heavy. He tried to look past Medic to see the body of the great Beast, but Medic shoved him out of his room and shut the door behind them. They would talk this out like men, and not in front of Heavy.
“Zhere is some’sing wrong, Engineer, and you need to fix it.” Medic told him. Engineer bristled.
“Don’t you be telling me my business. Not after what your…What Heavy did to Soldier.” He snapped, pointing at the shut door. Medic curdled with anger.
“Mien liebe did no’ssing to your Soldier. NO’SSING. He vhas vhis me before battle.” Medic said snidely. Engineer scoffed, a dangerous scowl forming on his mouth.
“Lyin’ ain’t gonna do you no good. Scout told me about what you were doin’ last night. And Heavy’s never a part of that shit.” He spat, then his look at Medic changed. It was a bit more understanding, and a thousand times more ferocious then any starved lion. “WHAT’D YOU DO TO SOLDIER!?”
“NO’SSING! I DID NO’SSING!” Medic burst, fending off the attacking Engie, but his fists failed and Engineer’s rained down on his face. “WERE ARE YOU KEEPIN’ HIM?” Engineer screamed at his bloody mass of a head. He grabbed Medic’s collar and slammed him against the ground over and over and over again. “I AIN’T NEVER GONNA FORGIVE YOU IF YOU DID ANYTHING TO HIM. ANYTHING!” He lept form the Medic, breaking down the door of his room almost with willpower alone, and set about tearing it a part, splinter by splinter if he had to.
Medic gurgled, rolling to his side, mumbling in blood bubbly German, bracing himself on the floor with his gloved hands. “He’s not here, Engineer.” He said weakly to the floor. Engineer turned on his heel and stormed out of the Doctor’s room, kicking him in the gut. “WHAT’D YOU SAY? WHAT’D YOU FUCKIN’ SAY YOU NAZI SONUVABITCH?”
Medic chuckled, holding his gut, his broken nose bleeding onto the floor.
“I said he is not here. Your Soldier is not here.”
Engineer listened, and kicked the Medic again. And again until the Medic stopped laughing and the Engineer started. He crouched and slapped a hand onto Medic’s neck in a sort of brotherly way.
“You tell me where my Soldier is, boy, or I will make sure you spend the rest of your life wishing you were in Hell.” He said with the broadest grin. Medic couldn’t even cough up the blood he was choking on. Engineer patted his neck. “Come on, now, Doc.” He encouraged, like getting a child to ride a bicycle. “I don’t want to have to find you tomorrow. Best we get this business finished with now.”
Medic’s eyes rolled up to meet Engineer’s goggles. He started to gurgle, a smile on his lips. Something like laughter was popping out of the blood bubbles and Engineer smiled back.
“Alright, Doc. See you tomorrow.” He said and stood, crushing the Medic’s head with a vicious work boot stomp.


Heavy is dead. Medic is dead. Scout is missing. No one has seen Spy. Soldier left shovel behind.
Engineer held his head in the dark.
…
Could it be the BLU Spy Sniper had befriended? No, they were always together. Unless Sniper was in on it, too. But this wasn’t Sniper’s style. Once Engineer had tuned up Sniper’s scope and the bushman had brought him the BLU Spy’s head wrapped neatly in the Frenchman’s own suit jacket. Sniper was more like a cat then a psychological terrorist.
That was Spy territory. Engineer impulsively looked up, his hand on his pistol. He was tense, alone in Soldier’s room, drops of dried paint between his boots from the sickle painted on the ceiling. Shovel watched him complacently, always. Engineer looked at the tool and relaxed a bit, his straight mouth bending to a smile as he chuckled and rubbed away am ache in his forehead.
“Sure wish I could hear what you’re saying.” He told the trenching tool. Shovel stared. Engineer looked over at it. Talking to a shovel was crazy. Stop it.

Engineer looked up at the spidery cylinders that made up Respawn. He’d adopted the machinery as his baby on his first day, spending a week peeling back her metal shell and getting an intimate look at her delicate circuitry. Every day after that he’d been in love, coming to visit her whenever he could. He discovered new and exciting things about her each time he visited. It was really the perfect relationship.
Engineer patted the main cylinder, running his hand down the smooth metal plate to the handle. He fondled it for a moment before clicking it open. “Hello again, sweetheart.” He said softly to her whirring interior, a mass of electronics only eleven PhD’s could comprehend. “Sorry I’ve been away. Daddy’s got a new pony, you see.” He explained as he reached inside her, checking her connections. “Well…” He said, thinking about what he thought about the Soldier as he sat back from Respawn, distracted from her complex mechanics by strange…un-science related feelings. He shrugged them off for now. “We’ll see, anyways.” He said, reaching back inside. He ran his hands, gloved and not, over her wiring. “You always look so good.” He told her, smiling fondly as he let his hands roam farther inside her. “Oh-“ He said suddenly, finding Respawn’s hot spot. She constantly whirred, fans always going to try and keep herself cool, but Engineer knew she could overheat in a matter of seconds if he kept his hands there. She gave him a warning beep and he snapped his hands away. “Feisty, eh?” He chuckled, Respawn passing inspection so far. “Well, Darlin’, I don’t see anything wrong with you…” Engineer said, giving her a pat. His eyes caught on her diagnostic screen and he stared, caught between a day dream and space.
It took him a moment to focus completely on the screen.
“Well that can’t be right.”

“Zhe threw me out.” Spy said, wiping dirt from his borrowed t-shirt. Sniper frowned.
“You told ‘em, though, roight?” He said, looking up at the other man from behind black aviators, lounging in a lawn chair with a beer on his knee.
“I told zhem. Eet is only a matter of time before zhey ambush us all.” Spy said indignantly, lighting a cigarette and sitting down elegantly in his own lawn chair. Sniper sighed and shook his head.
“Killin’ us ain’t going to do no wan any good, mate.” He said, nearly spilling his beer when his fishing pole jumped from between his knees. He grabbed it and coaxed the line back. Spy jumped to the edge of his seat. “Got a bite!”
Spy clapped and Sniper shot him a half smile, tugging on the line. “Congratulations, monsieur! Per’aps your days in zhe ‘outback’ will pay off.” Spy said snidely. Sniper chuckled and braced himself with a boot on the bridge barrier, pulling hard.
“Jeez, must be huge!” He grunted, jerking his head for Spy to help him. Spy leapt from his chair and danced around the Sniper without knowing what to do.
“What do you-?” He piped before Sniper cut in with a hoarse bellow. “HELP ME PULL IT AP.”
Spy stared, at a loss, before grabbing the pole and using his weight to try and get the beastly fish landed.
“It’s comin’!” Sniper said, his teeth grit, both feet braced on the barrier, heaving back on the pole with Spy’s help.
Both men gave a heave and a shrill scream pierced their ears as they fell back onto the bridge. Sniper slammed his hands over his ears while Spy held his crotch, Sniper’s lawn chair having tried it’s hand at being a sound.
“The fuck-?” Sniper barked, opening his eyes to see a writhing creature spraying blood all over the bridge. He slapped at Spy and pointed, blubbering. Spy shook his head and pushed Sniper away, trying to contain manly sobs of pain.
“Spy! SPY LOOK!” Sniper said, grabbing Spy by the shoulder and shaking him. “It’s him!” He hissed. Spy could hardly hear him over the wind being knocked out of his lungs and the terrible scream still stabbing his brain.
“Que? QUE?” He shouted over the scream, cracking a teary eye open to see the creature bleeding all over the place and stumbling around on writhing tentacles. He blanched, the pain in his groin forgotten. “Mon dieu-“ He whispered, and jumped to his feet as Sniper did. Just as Sniper got his arms around the TentaSpy Spy jumped him, knocking him off balance and the screaming creature off the side of the bridge.
“No!” Sniper yelped, grabbing at the empty air for the TentaSpy already six feet under the water. Spy held him back, dragging him from the bridge.
“NON! YOU NON!” He barked at him, wrestling him from the bridge. “Who knows what ‘e is! You could catch it!” Spy snapped at the struggling Sniper.
“That’s the bleedin’ point, mate!” He snapped back, getting free of Spy’s grip. “You just let it get away!”
“I mean you could catch it’s disease!”
“I ain’t gonna stick my bleedin’ prick in it, ya idiot!”
…
Spy burst out laughing. It took a moment for Sniper to diffuse, but he chuckled as well.


“You took a roight shot to the nads, didntcha.” Sniper said later, perched back on his lawn chair, this time his fishing pole packed up in his camper van. Spy touched his groin affectionately.
“It was not zhe worst mon petit has suffered.” He said with a chuckle, tossing the butt of his cigarette over the side of the bridge, still covered in TentaSpy’s blood.
Sniper chuckled and lounged back in his lawn chair, sitting comfortably in a slice of sunlight provided by the gaps in the roofing. Spy sat in the shade, watching Sniper tilt his head over the back of the chair.
Slowly Sniper’s mile faded to a comfortable expression and Spy took a sip of his beer, looking away.
“Tonight could be our last night togezzer.” He said thoughtfully after a while. Sniper took a deep, drawn out breath.
“They ain’t gonna attack us. Not with our Respawn on the fritz. Just isn’t good business.”
Spy turned back to look at him, somehow sizing the other man up. He’d killed the Sniper hundreds, thousands of times. He’d also been killed, but not usually by the Sniper. He wondered if it came down to death, real death, which would come out alive.
Spy shrugged, returning to the conversation.
“You never know, mon ami, we BLU’s are evil.”
Sniper laughed.
“Ain’t all that bad.” He admitted, tipping his hat over his eyes. Spy took another sip of his beer before setting it on his knee.
“If tonight was our last night, what would we do?” He asked the rim of his beer can, running his finger over the cold metal. Sniper shrugged, spreading his hands.
“Dunnao, mate. Prolly have a beer, watch the sunset.” He said. Spy smiled.
“We are already doing zhat.”
“Gotta live every day like it’s your last.” Sniper gestured at Spy with a lazy movement. “Don’t think too much on it, Spoih. Trucks will get the Respawn workin’ again.”
“J'espère que non.” Spy said, finishing his beer and throwing the can over the side of the bridge.

Pyro scowled from across the table, her arms folded over her voluptuous chest. Demo glared back drunkenly, sticking his tongue out before Engineer started talking.
“You fellas know somethin’s up. Fellas and lady.” Engineer corrected himself, nodding at Pyro. Pyro didn’t break eye contact with her sometimes boyfriend. Engineer cleared his throat.
Pyro tossed her hair, raising an eyebrow.
“Where’s Scout?” She asked. Demo’s glare sharpened. Pyro’s mouth twitched smugly.
“Boy’s been missin’. Last I saw him was yesterday. Heavy’s been killed.”
Sniper rubbed the bridge of his nose. Demo took a swig from his coffee cup. Pyro stared him down. Engineer cleared his throat again.
“Found Medic this mornin’, too.” He sat back heavily in his chair. “And Soldier’s up and left.”
“Can you bring Heavy back?” Sniper asked from his palm. Engineer shrugged.
“I don’t know if I can bring any of them back. I might be able to-“ Engineer vomited technological nonsense that Pyro tuned out with anger, Demo drank away and Sniper followed fairly easily due to years of stolen cable Star Trek.
“Basically regeneratin’ their last selves from Respawn’s memory.” Sniper translated. Engineer nodded, discreetly taking away Demo’s coffee cup, pouring out the remaining scrumpy and handing it back.
“Basically, yes. They won’t have no recollection of the last week or so, or whenever they went through the system before, but they’d be alive’n here with us.”
Sniper thought of Spy’s locked door, but lacked the segue to bring it up. He could introduce it later. “What if they aren’t dead?” He asked. Engineer tapped his chin with his gloved hand.
“Suppose it’d just be up to us to find ‘em, then.”
“Who’s been killing us?” Pyro asked suddenly. Engineer sighed.
“That’s the darndest thing. I can’t for the life of me figure it out. Only one I suspect is your…Friend.” Engineer nodded accusingly at Sniper who frowned.
“He is my friend. He hasn’t been doin’ any of this.” He defended, his turn to cross his arms over his not-so-voluptuous chest. Pyro smirked. Sniper looked uncomfortable.
Engineer stared Sniper down from behind his goggles, his face impassive.
“Alright, well, that’s not important right now. Important thing is that we got a full team again as soon as possible.” Engineer brought out the disembodied diagnostic pad from Respawn, putting it on the table. Pyro sat up to take a look, as did Sniper. “Says here there’s a glitch somewhere. Like a fly caught in the gears.” He said, pointing out the problem to the ignorant assassins. Sniper tried to understand the diagram, but his understanding of technobabble was purely audio. Pyro nodded with something like sympathetic understanding.
“So you have to find the fly?” She asked, and groaned loudly when Demo fell backwards from the table, sprawled all over the floor. Sniper set his forehead in his palm. Engineer took a moment before he cleared his throat.
“Matter of speakin’, yes.” He said and tucked the diagnostic pad away in his overalls. “My advice is don’t get killed for the next couple of days. I should have it figured out by then. Sniper?” Sniper looked up from Demo to Engineer. “I want you to keep an eye out for any sign of Soldier. Or those BLU’s coming forward. We can’t afford to all get shot up to Hell afore I can fix this thing.”

Sniper stumbled into his van, greeted by a lazy gesture from BLU Spy. “Are zhe coming to kill me yet?” He asked, going back to his magazine. Sniper sighed, rubbing his face and tossing aside his sunglasses.
“Nah, mate, not yet. Truckies saying there’s some sorta bug in the system. Says he can fix it and bring the others back.” He sat down heavily at Spy’s feet, leaning back on the couch with another sigh. He looked tired. Spy peeked over the top of his magazine.
“You look a’undred.” He told the Sniper. The lanky Australian closed his eyes, lines deepening between his brows.
“Just thinkin’. What if this is permanent?” It was a dangerous thing to say out loud. Spy became acutely aware of his own heart beating in his chest, the air in his lungs. What if that all stopped? For good?
“Do not worry, mon ami.” Spy offered weakly, laying his magazine on his chest, watching the Sniper. He sat up and gripped his friend’s shoulder confidentially, making up for the lack of belief in his own words. “Your Engineer will fix eet, and your Teammates will be resurrected and we’ll be s’oughtlessly slaughtering one anozzer soon enough.” He said, patting his shoulder. Sniper smiled.
Spy smiled back and kept his hand on his shoulder.
Sniper smile, however, didn’t last for long. He turned his head to face the masked man.
“If tonoight was our last noight, what wouldja wanna do, Spook?”
Spy’s smile flickered, his grip tightened, and Sniper was swallowed by an awkward sexual tension he’d been ignoring for months.
Spy watched the Sniper carefully for a moment. He shrugged, but didn’t move his hand.
“I do not know, ma minou. Get drunk. Fool around.” Spy chuckled and laid back on the couch-bed, picking up his magazine. Sniper chuckled as well, all too conscious of the fact that he was moving a fingerless gloved hand to rest on Spy’s leg. He felt like he was swallowing his heart and took a deep breath, setting his head back on the back of the couch and shutting his eyes. He kneaded at the expensive material like he’d scratch behind a cat’s ears. He wasn’t sure why, and Spy might not like being treated like a cat. Sniper didn’t want to stop. Just a few inches up and Sniper wouldn’t have to find a sock later when Spy was asleep.
Sniper felt his stomach lurch and patted Spy’s leg, pulling himself off of the couch. He kicked off his boots and didn’t look at the other man as he pulled off the rest of his clothes, going to his bed at the opposite end of the camper.
“…You know…” Sniper tilted his head to hear Spy clearly, pulling back the sheets of his bed. “Zhis side of zhe camper is quite cold.”
“There’s extra blankets in the cupboard underneath.” Sniper said, crawling into bed, running his hand through his hair before laying down, back to the Spy. The masked man laughed and Sniper wasn’t entirely sure why.

Engineer was torso deep in Respawn, a gentle clinking echoing in the room around him. Pyro stepped in quietly, sitting herself down on Engineer’s toolbox.
Engineer nearly jumped out of his skin to turn around and find her staring at him.
“Jeez Louise, girl.” He said, clutching his chest. Pyro laughed. Engineer blushed. “What can I do for you, missy?” He asked, wiping his hands on his overalls. Pyro sighed heavily, her smile fading.
“I don’t know what to do with him.” She said, crossing her arms. Engineer’s eyes rolled behind his goggles, but he nodded sympathetically. Again, problems of the heart were not his forte. He wasn’t sure what people saw in him that made them think he could help them with their nonscience related problems. Or even want to help. Go away, it’s alone time with Respawn.
“I want to fucking burn his shed down.” She spat. Engineer rubbed