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No. 2000
>>16
A little AN: I know some folks wanted me to continue this. I am...kind of here. I feel really bad that I'm not entirely giving people what they want out of this fic, but I had an epic computer crash and everything died. On top of re-writing 90+ pages of my thesis, I lost a lot of fic as well.
Please enjoy some of what I was able to restore while I gather my thoughts.
Respawn Error 1.5
“Fine. I know yeh did right by us today but I’m awful tired and shure not in the mood to hear another re-tellin’ of the billion greatest accomplishments of the RED Spah.†Engineer’s goggles were pushed up onto his forehead and his helmet was sitting on the table as he massaged a great headache out of his temples.
“I assure you, I would never lower myself to bragging. I am telling you, Gentlemen! It was too easy!†Spy chain-lit a second cigarette and stubbed the first out vehemently under his loafer. The rest of the RED team barely looked up from their respective meals. Undaunted and thoroughly determined to plead his case, Spy pressed on doggedly. “Zheir Engineer had only one sentry up, Zheir Medic seemed so drugged zhat he went down with a single blow and zheir Sniper may be an imbecile at ze best of times but he completely missed what was an overconfident and frankly stupid mistake on my part!â€
Engineer shrugged and pushed himself up from the table with a groan and a stretch, the joints in his back popping audibly. “Well I guess it is a little strange t’see y’all come back with that briefcase Spah. Why don’t you go explain it to Scout. He’s kind of pissed that you took his job. If y’all will excuse me now, I need to go and see about fortifyin’ that common room entrance.â€
At the other end of the table, Sniper had the grace to look slightly abashed, but he drained his coffee mug and headed outside. Intrigued, Spy cloaked, doubled back and followed the gunman.
Predictably, Sniper found Dell Conagher as the sole tender to a campfire in the middle of no-man’s land, plucking idly at his guitar strings. A 2-4 of Blue Streak sat at his side, but as Sniper approached he noticed only one sat open and it was barely touched.
“I take it what you experienced today was no mere loss, mate.â€
Dell stopped playing and set his guitar to one side, picking up the beer and meticulously peeling the label off. “No, pardner, it surely was not.â€
“Our Spy was going on and on about how strange you lot were acting.†Sniper pushed up the brim of his hat just high enough to look Dell square in the goggles. “Truckie thought he was just bragging, but this wasn’t the usual rot Spoi spews about how great he is.â€
The BLU Engineer said nothing to that.
“Somethin’ happen t’day, mate?â€
Dell gave him a measured look that suggested he was about to politely tell Sniper to piss off out of affairs that were none of his business, but a loud yell from the general direction of the BLU base caught the attention of both men.
BLU’s scout was just as loud as RED’s, Sniper soon found. “Oh MAN! WE HAVE TITTIES ON BASE MAN! TITTIES ON BASE!â€
Surprised that the whole RED base didn’t come barreling full speed across the field then and there, Sniper actually followed Dell into the BLU base at the shout, tailed unbeknownst to both of them by the invisible RED Spy.
***
The BLU Spy had long known that their Pyro was a woman. He’d never managed to catch a glimpse of her outside of her hazmat suit but he’d once gotten a peek inside he locker, which happened to contain a purse that was stuffed full of ladies’ hygene items. He’d never actually revealed that he knew because, well: Hey, I found a tampon, our Pyro’s a girl isn’t exactly the smoothest Spy line in the world.
Following Scout’s hoots and hollers, Dell with his two RED interlopers following on his heels came barreling down the hall to find the rest of the team clustered around Pyro, who on their mission to hold the front lines of BLU while the Medic issue was dealt with, had been sent to respawn at least twenty times more than any of the other team members.
It was a well-known fact that the BLU Pyro kept to themselves when off the battlefield. Perhaps it was the gender issue, perhaps just an innate anti-social nature. Whatever the reason, no one on the team, Medic included had ever seen the Pyro out of that suit.
However, right there in full view of BLU and about a third of the RED team, down came the zipper and off came the suit, followed by the boots and mask.
“Hrro Brrys.â€
“Take it off!†hollered Scout, who had a very obvious boner he was absolutely not bothering to hide.
(TBC?)
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