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No. 3812
Just two quick things to know about this fanfic: it is Scout/Sniper/Spy. There are no respawns.
Alright, haven’t written a fic in awhile, so let’s see how this goes!

Beyond the Freakin' Fence

The morning began as many mornings do in the BLU facility.

It was with great angst that each bedroom door in the private-quarters hall was opened as Soldier marched through, ordering the ‘maggots’ to ‘rise, shine, and get ready to kill’. It was with great mental complaint that each team member dressed himself and shuffled from his room. And it was with great delight that each butt found his seat in the small cafeteria, greeted by the smell of eggs, fruit, and hash browns cooked to just the gentlest crisp.

The team shuffled along in a line, trays eagerly held out for spatulas to drop portioned food onto their plates. Sniper gave a sleepy smile as he watched the potatoes heap next to his eggs. His feline smirk was interrupted by the sudden pressing of a tray into his back and a shrill voice in his ear.

“’Ey yo, grandpa! Move a little faster, wouldja? Some of us wanna eat BEFORE the fight begins!”

Sniper glared over his shoulder at the BLU Scout, who was prodding him with the edge of his tray. He merely grumbled under his breath, beginning to walk forward again before shooting a glance back at Scout. “Hey wait a second there. Weren’t you just at the front of the line?” he asked, poking the brim of Scout’s hat.

“What can I say? Imma wicked fast eater. An’ I’d be diggin’ through my seconds right about now if SOMEONE weren’t holdin’ up the friggin line! Let’s go, go, go kangaroo boy!” Scout bounced impatiently in place, his stomach audibly grumbling as he did so. How he managed to put away as much food as he did, the rest of the team would never know.

Spy was the last to sit down at the long dining table. He preferred to have his morning smoke while waiting for the rest of the team to fill their plates. “Oh huh huh!” he exclaimed as he swallowed a mouthful of eggs. “Chef Pyro, you have outdone yourself zis time! Zese eggz! Zey are zunny-zide perfection!” He gently cut another piece, choosing to savor the flavor rather than leap in mouth-first like the majority of the team tended to do.

“Yea, yea. Real good today,” Scout exclaimed as he sucked down a protein shake. “They taste just like my ma’s!”

“You know what else tastes like your muzzer’s?” said Spy. He paused for a moment, the rest of the team anxiously waiting for the answer. “Ze RED Spy’s co-“

“SHUT THE FUCK UP you slimy piece ‘a shit! Why I outta bonk your fuckin’ face in, you CREEP! How’d ya like a big taste of my BAT?!” Scout practically lunged over the table at Spy, but Demoman wrapped his arms around the young runner’s midsection to keep him in place.

“Now, now, lad! Harness yer anger! Save it fer battle!” Demoman declared, easily keeping hold of the struggling Scout.

“What the fuck ever,” Scout said, ceasing his attempts to break free. “The frog ain’t worth my time, anyways,” he snarled through his teeth as he stormed from the cafeteria, stopping only in the kitchen to restock his backpack with enough Bonk sodas to last him the day. And even that he managed to complete with a scowl.

~

Scout released his frustration through his morning workout; an intense cardio session of running with weighted ankles. Unlike Soldier, Heavy, and even Engineer, he chose to avoid the weight room. He didn’t need the kind of muscles they did. His served one purpose only: Flight. Anything extra would only weigh him down.

He was just finishing as the rest of the team started to appear in the gym area. He ducked out and headed back to his room to change out of his sweats before taking the stairs to the roof. It was the ideal place for him to collect his thoughts and calm his mind. Contrary to popular belief, Scout was a very relaxed person when he was by himself. He often spent his post-workout mornings on the roof, taking advantage of the clean air to clear his lungs. The fort the two sides used for battles sat high on a cliff overlooking desert canyons, and the air quickly became flooded with dust as soon as the battle started. But now, in the early morning, the air was clean and crisp, and exactly what he needed to help prepare his cardiovascular system for the strain that would follow.

So Scout was clearly shocked when he stepped out onto the roof to see that his sanctuary had been invaded. His lips pulled into a frown and his eyes narrowed. He marched purposely to the figure, who sat on the edge with his legs dangling over the sides. However, the scowl faded when the strong smell of Scrumpy filled Scout’s nose. “Demoman?”

Scout had approached Demoman’s blindside, and the man had been too busy mumbling to himself to hear him approach. When Scout spoke, it startled him, and he nearly dropped his bottle. “Aye, lad! Ah nearly fell off! Ya can’t be sneakin’ up on ol’ Demo like that!” Pulling himself together, he sighed and continued, “Sorreh about takin’ yer spot, lad. Ah know ya like to collect yerself up here. Ah just needed ta… Needed ta find peace.” His words faded off as his eyes surveyed the harsh yet beautiful landscape.

“Demo?” Scout asked, coming to stand next to him, looking down at the man as if he were speaking in tongues.

“Aye, lad, ah’m sorreh. Ah just got this feelin in ma gut. An it’s not the Scrumpeh,” he said, taking another large swig. “Sit with me, Scoot.”

Scout was about to make some excuse to leave, but something in Demoman’s voice urged him to stay. Somehow, Scout knew that leaving would be a mistake. “What’s up, pops?” he asked as he sat down next to the other, kicking his dangling legs against the wall of the building. He was concerned about the older guy. Demo and Scout had become buddies from the moment they started working together. There had been many times when Demo stood up for Scout and backed him up when everyone else wrote him off as a loud-mouthed brat. At times Demo felt more like a father to him than any one of Scout’s seven older brothers, no matter how drunken he was. And for that, Scout would always be grateful.

“Have ya ever had one uh them feelin’s, Scoot? Where ya just know somethin’ is gunna happen but ya don’t know what?”
A look of worry for Demoman’s mental health filled Scout’s eyes, and all he could muster was, “Uhh…”

“Ah’v got this feelin’, lad. An ah just can’t shake it.” He gulped down some more Scrumpy. Throwing his hands into the air, he suddenly exclaimed, “Love often, lad! And love deeply! There will come a mornin’ when you’ll wake up an yer youth will be gone and so will yer woman an all you’ll be left with is a bottle a’ Scrumpy an one eye.”

Scout was used to Demoman’s drunken mood swings, and tried not to take the older man too seriously. But this time, there was something off about his drunken mood swings. “Dem?”

“Ah got this feelin’, Scoot,” Demoman said, voice suddenly clear of drunken slurring. “Ah just got this feelin’ that this fight will be ma last. An damnit, ah gotta make it count! ‘Cause ‘tween you an me, Scoot, there’s no place ah’d rather die than lookin’ over these canyons. Ain’t they a sight for a sore eye.” A warm, sleepy smile found it’s way to Demoman’s face, and he began to tip forward, eyes closing and head nodding forward.

“Whoa, whoa! The fuck?!” Scout yelped, grasping Demoman before he drunkenly fell from the roof. “Ok, big guy. I think you’ve had enough,” he said, getting to his feet and dragging Demoman away from the edge.

~

As Scout readied himself fully in the final minutes before battle, he couldn’t shake the eerie feeling his conversation with Demoman had given him. He wasn’t sure if the other even remember, and Scout wasn’t about to bring it up.

“STAND READY, MAGGOT!” A voice boomed over Scout’s shoulder, and a calloused hand grabbed him and turned him around.

“Yo Solly, what’s up,” Scout said, unphased.

“IS THAT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR COMMANDING OFFICER, PRIVATE?!” Soldier forcefully shoved Scout against the concrete wall of the tunnel as they waited for the gates to rise, allowing them entrance to the battlements.

Gulping and straightening himself, Scout barked, “Sir! No, sir!”

“Now that’s more like it, boy!” Soldier said with a nod, his voice coming down a tad. “Now you listen close, private. I have a special mission for you today. That blasted enemy Sniper has been targeting our Medics, making it damned near impossible to move forward on the field. That tampon-usin’ coward is too far away for any of us to get to him, if we could even see where he was shooting from. So YOUR job today, private, is to find and eliminate the bastard. CAN YOU HANDLE THAT OR DO I NEED TO FIND A MAN FOR THE JOB, BOY?”

Scout’s nose wrinkled in anger, hating when his age was mocked. The Soldier’s breath was hot on his face, and he barked up at the man, “Sir! I can handle it, sir!”

“NOW THAT’S MORE LIKE IT!” Soldier said, slapping Scout on the back as the Announcer began her countdown to battle. “DON’T FAIL ME, PRIVATE!”

The alarms rang and the gates rose, and before any other soul could set foot on the battlefield, Scout had sprinted out of the tunnel and began swiftly stalking his most familiar flanking routes for enemies. He caught sight of the RED Scout, who seemed to be searching the trails for the same reason he was.

BLU Scout narrowed his eyes and ducked behind a boulder before he could be seen, not wanting to initiate a direct fight with his counterpart this day. They often met each other on the battlefield, and though their one-on-one fights usually had both men injured, one of the two always managed to escape before suffering fatal damage.

It wasn’t often that Soldier gave Scout an important personal mission when their overall goal wasn’t to track the enemy Intel, so he didn’t want to ruin the opportunity by spending the day playing bullet-ridden leap-frog with the RED Scout.

Peaking from behind his boulder, he saw the enemy Scout darting away to secure more flanking routes, and the BLU Scout used the opportunity to slip past him to sections that the RED Scout had already covered and most likely wouldn’t return to any time soon. While Scout had no idea where he could find the RED Sniper, it seemed logical that the man would stay close to his own base, which left Scout no choice but to cross into enemy dominated territory.

He hurdled across the fenced-in desert battlements, firing a spray of bullets from his scattergun at any who approached him, and hastily dodging out of their line of sight to continue his task. The majority of the fight stayed at the front lines, where each team bashed each other’s faces in, but no one made any progress. Once past the rough action, Scout found his search to be quiet and mundane. He scampered through abandoned buildings and across balconies, a few times barely missing the unforgiving flames of the enemy Pyro. Each time he cleared an area, he cursed to himself at the lack of Sniper there.

He was about to give up and call the whole thing off when into his line of sight came none other than the prize he sought. He caught sight of the RED Sniper not through a window or on a balcony or roof, but on a distant hill, backed up against the fence barrier that surrounded the enclosure, eyes focused through his scope.

With greater stealth than he normally moved with, Scout swiftly and quietly made his way to his objective. With the Sniper’s gaze fixed through the scope, he failed to notice the other approaching. Slowing his steps as he neared the Sniper, Scout pulled out his baseball bat and crouched slightly as he snuck.

It was as Scout was pulling his arms back to swing that a shadow seemed to materialize on the ground next to him, and in his surprise he lunged out the way the moment a knife cut the air where he had just stood. In a mere second the RED Spy finished uncloaking, and took another swing at the BLU Scout, who flailed backwards, straight into the RED Sniper who was by far the most surprised of the three.

Scout was put on the defensive, choosing to avoid knife slashes rather than attack the RED Sniper, who Scout had forced in between himself and the RED Spy. For a few moments that felt like an eternity, all hell was breaking loose as the three tussled in extremely close quarters.

From the corner of Scout’s eye he noticed a small blue ball land near them, and it registered immediately as a grenade. RED Spy and Sniper noticed it as well, and the three of them stood frozen for a second. It had not landed close enough to threaten to kill any of them, but as it exploded they all were thrown back in a cloud of smoke. Scout’s ears rang as the blast pushed him and the other two against the fence, and as his vision cleared, what met his eyes coming through the smoke was a glorious sight.

In a bursting, patriotic yell, the BLU Demoman burst through the smoke left by the grenade, his sword held high above his head. A broad smile formed on Scout’s lips as he no longer feared being out numbered.

The brawl between the four of them only last a few seconds, each man swinging his melee weapon around and trying to not get sliced by any one of three blades. The four of them still fought in close quarters, cornered by nearby boulders and the barrier fence. Just as each man seemed to get his bearing, a shrieking whistle pierced the air, and Scout froze in horror.

“INCOMING!” He heard Demoman wail. “BRACE YERSELVES, LADS!”

As the words registered to Scout, he felt strong arms wrap around him and pull him into a bear’s grasp. Only a fraction of a second later, the world around them exploded as the whistle grew unbearably loud and the rocket from an unseen Soldier’s launcher collided against the ground beneath their feet.

Much like the smaller grenade had done, the burst from the rocket sent them all flying backwards in a ball of smoke, fire, and shrapnel. Scout’s head was forced roughly against the body that held him, and along with the BOOM set off by the rocket, an awful splintering sound filled the air.

And then there was nothingness.

Scout opened his eyes, utterly disoriented. He was pulled against Demoman, but when he looked up all he could see was blue sky. The moments of complete weightlessness didn’t last long, however, when they hit solidly against the ground, and Demoman’s grip tightened around Scout even more, if it was possible. They rolled and bounced and very quickly Scout realized what was happening. They had all been thrown through the fence that enclosed the battlefield, and were now rolling down the cliffs to what would most likely be their deaths.

Fear was all that registered to Scout as they continued to slide into the heart of the canyon. He knew that if he was even alive at the end he would be hurt, but somehow he felt no pain from within Demo’s protective grasp. Now and then he caught glimpses of RED, which he could only assume were the enemy Spy or Sniper.

Sand flew in all directions as Scout felt the incline softening, and bushes began to slow them down. Suddenly, Demo’s arms released from around Scout, and he was sent tumbling along the dirt, getting mouthfuls of sand as he skidded to a stop. As quickly as the chaos had started, it was over. Scout’s ears rang and his head throbbed. He looked up and saw blue sky, and though he lay still, he felt as though the world around him was still shaking.

And then it dawned on him what was missing. Demoman’s grasp had let up. In a panic, Scout tried to stand up, but fell back to the ground with a scream of agony. He looked down to see his ankle badly broken, rolled over onto itself and pushing his foot into an unnatural direction. Only when he saw the wound did the pain register in his brain, and a panic shriek escaped his lips.

His yelling ceased only when his eyes focused on a dark mass only a few meters up the hill from him. “Demo!” Scout screamed, not attempting to stand again, but rather crawl as quickly as he could towards the other. When he reached the other man, he frantically grabbed his shoulders and rolled him over. “De-!” His voice froze in terror and his eyes widened to the extent of threatening to fall from his head as he looked down at Demoman. “No. No no no. No.”

A dried, rogue branch from a large bush was impaled in the other, invading the skin around Demo’s neck where his heavy-duty jacket failed to protect. Demo’s eye rolled around his head before focusing on Scout’s face. “Scoot?” He coughed, blood staining his teeth. “Are ya- are ya hurt, lad?” His voice shook and curdled with the sound of blood in his throat.

“Ye-yea I’m ok, Demo. Don’t ya say anything, ok? Just don’t say anything. We’s gunna get you back up to help an Medic’ll patch you up all nice ‘n new. So just hold ya energy an don’t say anything, ok?” He felt his voice crack around his words as his eyes grew misty.

Demoman just smiled up at him. “It’s ok, lad.” His voice broke to cough up blood. “Ah wouldna take back anathing.”

Scout swallowed, mustering his courage to speak. “Ya saved my life… Twice..” His voice drowned into a shadow, unable now to hold back the tears of survivor’s guilt. Everything was registering with him now. The grenade earlier had not meant to hurt anyone, but had been expertly placed to throw the Sniper and Spy away from Scout.

“Ah said… Ah wouldna changed anathing,” Demo repeated, voice growing quieter. He coughed up another round of blood, looking back up at Scout, his dark eye growing cloudy. “Listen.” Scout moved closer to hear what he was saying. “Ah know ah’m not yer Da. But any father woulda been lucky ta have you, Scoot. Woulda been lucky…” And he was gone.

Scout was too shaken to muster even a sob. When the life left Demoman’s face, Scout simply stared at his body, mouth fallen open and eyes shimmering with tears. He had seen people killed on the battlefield, but never this close and never this close to his heart.

His sobbing never had a change to come, either, when the click of a hammer being pulled back on a gun behind him was heard.

“Say goodbye, boy,” a rusty, Australian accent droned, and Scout looked over his shoulder to see the RED Sniper pointing a gun to his face.

*
I have another part written, but as of now I don't have a beta reader, and will post more depending on the reaction. I'm quite new to the site, so I hope I don't let anyone down. I've read some damn fantastic stuff! All constructive criticism is welcomed!
And no porn yet, but it's planned for later parts.
32 posts omitted. Last 50 shown.
>> No. 4745
>>33
That means it no longer gets bumped to the top when someone adds a new post to it.
>> No. 4918
(My apologies for the delay!)

“Whadda hell are we doin’?”

The Sniper seemed surprised by the question. He pulled his head back, looking puzzled as he furrowed his brow. “Well, snoggin’, I’d hafta guess.”

Scout rolled his eyes, letting out a heavy sigh. “Yea, I got dat much, pops. But why?”

Sniper began to look annoyed by all the questions. “What do ya really care? Why does anyone snog?” He brushed a hand over Scout’s cheek and ear, slipping his fingers through his short, plain hair. A hungry look had come to his eyes, and it was obvious that the RED wasn’t going to be having any more of the chit-chat.

Sniper was moving in again, and Scout looked like he might as well go with it, but a soft cough interrupted them. Scout cranked his head over his shoulder to see the Spy rolling in his sleep, pulling his arms around his body for warmth. He shifted again and Scout frantically flipped himself over to face away from the Sniper, afraid of being caught.

Slowly the Spy lifted himself from the ground, adjusting his balaclava on his face. “It iz cold,” he said, breathing into his hands.

“Yea', tha fire’s died down quite a bit. Ya welcome ta join us, mate,” Sniper said, gesturing to him and the Scout, who had closed his eyes, doing his best to pretend to sleep.

Spy scoffed at the idea. There was no question that he was comfortable with the Sniper but there was no way he wanted to do anything remotely like cuddling with that boy. “I zink I will go look for more ‘ood. I shall return zoon.” The Spy brushed himself off, taking his Ambassador and sticking it in his belt before rubbing his eyes and leaving the camp.

Normally the Sniper would have volunteered in a split-second to accompany the Spy and help him, while looking out for any creatures they might come along. But this situation surely wasn’t normal.

The moment the Spy was gone, Scout felt hands roughly grasp him again and turn him around. He saw a much more animalistic look in the Sniper’s eyes than he ever had before, and didn’t know what to make of it. But this time when Sniper kissed him, it was different. It was rough and deep, and their teeth clinked together and their tongues slid across one another. It was wet and forceful, and it was sexy.

Scout had a hard time fully following what was going on, but damn if his crotch wasn’t reacting. Then again, he’d never left that teenager stage of his life where his penis came to life at just about anything. His heart beat obnoxiously fast in his chest and he felt warmth rushing to just about every inch of his body.

He gulped as he felt Sniper’s calloused hands on his back, on his hips, on his chest, moving quickly over his toned body. Sniper had moved back just a bit to watch the Scout as he began to breathe heavily, an expression of excitement lighting up his eyes. He just couldn’t help himself.

The RED pressed himself forward quickly to kiss the other when he grabbed the Scout’s crotch, letting his mouth muffle the sounds of surprise. The younger man’s need was just as hard as he’d hoped.

The Sniper’s facial expression never once changed as the Scout watched him with big, surprised, but accepting eyes. Just as the Scout was getting used to it, he felt those strong hands turn him over and take a hold of his pants, jerking his zipper down and pulling the trousers to his thighs.

Suddenly exposed, a deep blush came to the Scout’s face as he propped himself up on his knees, pressing his hands in the ground to attempt to lift himself up. “Hey!-“ he began to exclaim, but the Sniper clasped a hand over his mouth to keep him from making too much noise. As he did, a moment of panic blossomed in the Scout’s chest when he heard a zipper sliding down behind him. He tried to push back, but the Sniper’s other hand quickly came to his back and ran along his spine, pushing him back down.

He heard a small grunt, and looked over his shoulder just in time to see the Sniper spit a few times in his palm, take his member in his hand and position himself. And then pain. Pain like he didn’t know could be pain. The Sniper’s hand tightened around his mouth to keep him from screaming, and hot, salty tears flooded his eyes. The unexpectedness of his tight virginity being torn, literally, stung in the most confusing of ways.

The Sniper’s heart beat wildly in his chest. He hadn’t known he had it in him. But something about the younger man just drove him crazy, and he hated the feeling. When he looked down at the other, he felt some sort of sick pleasure in the Scout’s pain, and took him as roughly as he could while keeping the volume under control.

For a moment, the Sniper’s mind grew hesitant. What was he doing? Was this rape? Was it consensual? He’d never asked the Scout’s permission, but hell, he had assumed he hadn’t needed to. And as far as he could tell Scout was in pain, but not trying to fight and struggle his way out like he knew any good Scout would. Anyways, the RED told himself, the Scout deserved it. Anything so wonderful in form deserved it. The Sniper’s conscience cleared and he allowed himself to push all thoughts away and dive back into the other.

Whatever it was, it wasn’t love. When Sniper took the Spy, they made love. But this. No, this was just fucking.

Within minutes it was over, and the Sniper was silent even as he finished inside of Scout. He pulled away, removing his hand from the Scout’s mouth and doing his best to clean himself off and zip up his pants.

Scout’s muscles shook and he dropped to the ground when the Sniper moved away and he was left with nothing but shaking legs to support himself. He panted deeply, eyes shut tight as he did his best to wipe away the sweat and tears from his face. He managed to push himself onto his elbows, trying to pull his pants back up as quickly as possible, suddenly very embarrassed about showing any skin at all.

As if nothing had happened, he felt the Sniper’s hands on his back as the older man lay down again, wrapping a firm arm around his midsection and pulling him back to the bedrock. Scout attempted to shake the hand off, but his muscles felt flimsy under his skin, and he allowed the other to cradle him.

The Sniper moved his hand to Scout’s shoulder for a moment, rubbing at a knot there. He then let his arm slip back down around the younger man’s thin midsection, breathing against his neck as he went back to sleep.

Scout tensed up, but allowed the other to cuddle against him. He shook, still in discomfort and trying to get over the shock of it all.

What the hell just happened?
>> No. 4929
That was great. Please sir, may I have some more?
>> No. 4955
This caught my attention randomly and I read through it all today! I REALLY love how you write them all, especially Scout, and I'm not even a huge scout fan (I like him, I just don't seek out stuff with him in it). Saw a few typos (like words that were the wrong words mostly) but it was like only a few.

The part with the Bonk made me LOL in real life, and the part with Demo was wonderfully emotional. Scout's flashbacks were great. Also I suspected Sniper and Spy were a bit of a couple, I love that they are and poor Scout is the captive outsider, heheheh.

I look forward to reading more!
>> No. 4969
moar
>> No. 4973
why are everyone's hands always freaking calloused? it's getting really unoriginal. i like the story though.
>> No. 4984
>>39

Perhaps it is because these men fight for a living? You play the guitar, you get callouses from the metal wearing away at your fingertips from strumming and pinching the strings to the neckboard. You hack down people every day, you get callouses from the way the handle of your weapon rubs against your hand, shifting as it bites into leather, muscle, and bone. Gun grips become painful after you've shifted it in your hand for several hours, and the texture has worn off your palms from every time it has bucked in your hand from firing. Its when they /don't/ have callouses that I start questioning.

Polite sage for nitpicking and probably opening a can of worms.
>> No. 5009
Anon- Yea, like Window said, it's only natural. Holding a gun or melee weapon of some sort as part of your living would really wear on the skin. The same way that you'd get specific callouses if you play a lot of golf, or tennis.

I'm sorry that you feel it's a very unoriginal thing to say, but honestly, I find the feeling of calloused hands quite sexy, so I like to put it in my writing.
>> No. 5073
more more more more
>> No. 5111
You keep using that damn word 'calloused'. That word is freakin sexy. Heck if it wasn't for the word 'moist', 'wet' or 'sticky' being attractive I wouldn't fucking want to hear it being used every time someone mentioned a mouth or after-jizz being such. >:| -sagenod-

Keep up your good callous-worded work. Grant it, I felt this was a bit rushed, but maybe that was the feel you were going for, bro. WORK ON, WORK HARD... WHEN YOU WANT TO. I love you all.
>> No. 5112
Plus what kind of man uses hand lotion in 1968

I mean other than the obvious
>> No. 5113
Hahahahaha oh you guys. I'm sorry, I really didn't realize how much I use that word! I'll try to control my urges in the future.

But for now, I think this is becoming a calloused topic.

And 43 Anon, I am glad that you felt it was rushed. I was trying to go for that. Hopefully it worked well and didn't back fire.
>> No. 5125
not much I can say that hasn't been said, waiting eagerly for the next chapter of course. oh yes, and don't think i forgot about the fanart. I will do it soon, sorry about the wait I just got back from a convention I've been preparing for for a while. also I am all for the callouses as well as if that even needs saying.
>> No. 5163
i am absolutely dying to know what happens next. how many more chapters are you thinking?
>> No. 5197
http://tf2chan.net/afanart/src/131476675534.png your fanfic fanart
>> No. 5198
>>48 Hot damn. That is incredibly hot. Hnnngh. Just...no more words. FC and Redd, you two amaze me.
>> No. 5200
thanks steve~
>> No. 5270
more
>> No. 5337
Okay.
>> No. 5351
52 Anon, you okay?

And sorry for the delay. I've been too busy fapping to FC's amaaazing picture! Next chapter will be up very soon.
>> No. 5397
awe, I'm delaying the story via gay porn art? at least it's doing it's duty. also if this became a legit part of the story that'd be too hot, just sayin'. hing hint.
>> No. 5550
wonderful fanfic~! can't wait to read more :3
>> No. 5572
WHAT?! I mean Really guys? Ok. Ok so just to be sure I've got this straight...

Scout saves Sniper's life.

Scout chews Spy out for being a douche and pretending to be his dead friend.

Sniper gives Spy a lecture on being a decent human being.

Sniper forcibly and painfully rapes Scout's ass (the person who saved his life remember. All while moments earlier handing out lectures on maturity and being a decent human being. Pro tip: Being a Rapist and being a 'decent human being' are mutually exclusive.)

SCOUT SAYS AND DOES NOTHING ABOUT THIS. IN FACT THEY CUDDLE. DAAAAAWWW <--- And that ladies and gentlemen is where this goes from mediocre "meh I like fantasy rape" to just terrible writing. You broke two characters to make it happen...
Ya know if not three. I mean Spy didn't want anything bad to happen to Scout and I would say that's pretty terrible.

So yeah NEVER reading this again. Since Sniper is probably going to see the error of his ways and comfort fuck Scout later. And Scout will be like all "It's okay man. I didn't SAY no. I mean it was kinda hard with your hand smothering my mouth but we're bros for life now."

I'm sure tl;dr I really don't care if the author sets up rape in a story. I can even hold my lunch if they turn it into a twisted love story. But completely breaking character to make it happen makes me sad.
>> No. 5581
I mostly agree with pinkshotgun.

This story had a lot of potential, what in the Hell happened?
Well whatever, I'm done.
>> No. 5585
>>56
>>57

Thirded. I was really enjoying this story, and then all of a sudden, boom, rape. I recoiled, not quite able to process exactly what had just happened; that's how out of left field it felt.

There's no point in my saying much more, it'd just end up being a rehash of what pinkshotgun said.
>> No. 5588
I'm liking this story so far, even though rape stories I generally shy away from. I can see 56, 57, and 58's points but I will disagree that you broke character. Guys, it's video game characters, who have all of one movie each and a few entries in comics. There is no real defining character; we make them ourselves.

That said, I was a little thrown off by Scout's shock induced passivity. I see him a bit more ferocious than that but then again 'surprise raep by people he was starting to trust.' Understandable. However, if he continues to be passive, this might be a problem, in my head-canon.

Either way, I want to see more, pretty please? Will this make Spy the good guy or will both of them be douches? Perhaps he'll get a last minute rescue by his team and the other two will be gibbed? Ooo, suspence!
>> No. 5594
To be honest, the way I saw it when I beta'd was that Scout had gone into shock. Redd's characterisation has so far been fairly believable and I think the twist that they put in is fairly interesting. Sure, looking back on it, it might need a bit more tweaking but saying you're never reading the story again might be a bit premature. You don't know how any of the characters are going to react next now do you? Scout might turn around and bite Sniper's ear off for all you know.

Herf it's half one in the morning. I'm in a rant mood again.
>> No. 5599
So a lot of shit went down with my computer, but I'm back.
And holy shit I come back to this.

Firstly, I'd like to apologize to anyone who doesn't like this story. While it is extremely disheartening to return and see so many posts telling me I am horrible, I must respect your opinions.

But I would like to point out that what happened between Scout and Sniper was meant to be written on a blurry, gritty, realistic edge. It was not rape. I hate enjoyed-rape stories. I thought I had done an adequate job of describing it so it was on that edge, but still clear that Scout was allowing it to happen- though he is in a state of shock.

That being said, a new chapter will be up soon. I feel like I need to do better from now on. I'm not a crybaby but seeing so many negative responses really did hit something in me. I do not try to pretend to be a professional writer, but I hope in the future I will do well by you guys. I love this people and everyone here.
>> No. 5600
>>61

i like the story a shit ton, and i thought this last part was an interesting twist, and i got that scout is in shock, and i'm really super eager to see what happens next.

i'm sorry other readers are assbutts.
>> No. 5601
Honestly you guys, it was pretty obviously consensual, it is by no mean a 'fantasyrape' fic. Granted the grounds for said love-making were a bit...shall we say off? Its not rape though and if your going to let the first chapter with actual smut throw you away from the whole damn story then thats your problem. PS, its TF2, the whole premis of every story (afanfic or otherwise) and the game is obviously unrealistic. Rant over, Redd, dont let them discourage you, you're doing great, keep it up.
>> No. 5602
I am also one of the few that got the shock factor. It wasn't rape. It just wasn't the sex he was expecting. Everyone always expects it to be all wonderful, and flowery, and painless, but nope. Not always.
>> No. 5604
>>58 here.

Disliking this story, how it's written, or feeling as though the characterization is off is nowhere near the same as telling you that you're horrible.

I understand that Scout is in shock, and I can't say that his passivity is what irks me. What bothers me the most is Sniper's take on what he's doing, how it's okay to do this to Scout.

I can't speak for 56 and 57, but my initial post was certainly not made just to be mean or to be an "assbutt." (Thanks, 62!) This last chapter just felt very jarring to me and didn't seem to follow with what had already been established. Now granted, maybe there will be some sort of answer in coming chapters that will explain things to an extent, make more sense in the long run. I didn't say that I was giving up on this story, and I'm not. I'm still curious to see where you plan to take this, even if I don't care for where it is now.

Negative feedback doesn't necessarily mean that you're a bad writer or anything of the sort. We're just telling you our reactions (and really, everyone's will be different, so it's to be taken with a grain of salt anyway) so you can take them into account in the future. I do like your writing, and I sincerely hope that you do continue to improve.
>> No. 5612
"What bothers me the most is Sniper's take on what he's doing, how it's okay to do this to Scout."

This.

I don't mind rape stories, on the contrary I've loved quite a few of them. It's just fiction, just harmless fantasies.

But the thing is, all of these stories were very honest about what they were. They didn't portray rape, only to then go all "oh, but it's ok, it's not REALLY rape!"

This story has this paragraph:

"Anyways, the RED told himself, the Scout deserved it. Anything so wonderful in form deserved it. The Sniper’s conscience cleared and he allowed himself to push all thoughts away and dive back into the other."

Which is very obviously a rapist's pov. There is just no denying that. Whether Scout liked it or not, whether he was in shock or not, the point is that Sniper didn't give a damn about his consent and victim-blamed the shit out of him. "He is attractive so he totally deserves it!" is the same as "she is wearing a miniskirt so she totally deserves it!"

Yet people are saying that what Sniper did wasn't so bad, just a bit off, nothing to be upset about... It's messed up.


In any case, as already pointed out, "your story is horrible" =/= "you are horrible." You could be the nicest person in the world and that would have nothing to do with your writing.
>> No. 5619
people are saying that what Sniper did wasn't so bad
Point that out to me because I can't see it anywhere.
>> No. 5621
>>67

Post 63:
"Honestly you guys, it was pretty obviously consensual, it is by no mean a 'fantasyrape' fic. Granted the grounds for said love-making were a bit...shall we say off? Its not rape though"

Post 64:
"It wasn't rape. It just wasn't the sex he was expecting. Everyone always expects it to be all wonderful, and flowery, and painless, but nope. Not always."
>> No. 5622
>>66 While Sniper does have a very rapey POV, if Scout actually wanted it, it doesn't make it rape, now does it?

I mean, I look at it less like Sniper's a rapist, and more like he's just really, REALLY selfish in bed. We don't know how he would have reacted if Scout had said 'No, stop, I don't want to have sex', because he didn't. If Scout had, and Sniper had kept going anyway, then yes, I could see the rape, but as it stands, all I see is just bad sex.

(not bad as in writing. Bad as in unpleasurable sex on the part of at least one of them)
>> No. 5623
Alright, now that I'm out of my emo-pms girl-problem phase of last night, I'm ready to be a grown-up against and tackle this.

As down as I was when I first stumbled back to all of this, a part of me is really enjoying the conversation now; as dark and horrible of a subject as it is. While I meant for it to be on that blurry line between rape and consensual, I didn't realize that it would effect people this negatively. But in a way I'm glad that is has, and I'm glad that it was able to start a discussion. As the writer, I can say that the intention was very much what Hybrid, Japan, and some of the Anons are explaining.

That being said, if you disagree, then I'm glad that you can find other interpretations to my story. You can choose to believe whichever theory you want.

Lastly, I do understand the frustration of those who were disappointed that I have broken characters. While these characters live in the TF2 universe, they are mine. Their personalities, while based around those in the game, are also mine to give. If you stop to imagine what it would be like if all characters were just like those in the game:
Scout and Soldier would have zero friends.
Pyro would have zero personality.
Sniper and Engie MIGHT hang out once in a while.
Heavy loves only his gun, and has a creepy relationship with Medic.
Medic would be an over-all creeper.
Spy, along with zero friends, would be a sociopath.

Now, if you want a story that manages to get all of these personalities down to a tee and is completely wonderful in every way, I advise you to leave this thread and go check out TwoRefined's stunning 'Breaking Point'.

Other than that, deal with me and my many flaws. We'll have a great time. If you can't hang with that, then I'm just gonna do my haters gon hate walk.
>> No. 5626
>>68
None of those are saying what Sniper did "isn't so bad" but that what he's doing isn't rape.

Blah blah /argument Redd's addressed this and I'm just poking coals. Shutting up now.
>> No. 5627
EVERYONE SHUT UP AND HAVE A FILLER UPDATE! I love you guys.

Slowly the Spy lifted himself from the ground, adjusting the balaclava on his face. “It iz cold,” he said, breathing into his hands.


“Yea', tha fire’s died down quite a bit. Ya welcome ta join us, mate,” Sniper said, gesturing to himself and the Scout, who had closed his eyes, doing his best to pretend to sleep.


Spy scoffed at the idea. There was no question that he was comfortable with the Sniper but there was no way he wanted to do anything remotely like cuddling with that boy. “I zink I will go look for more ‘ood. I shall return soon.” The Spy brushed himself off, taking his Ambassador and sticking it in his belt before rubbing his eyes and leaving the camp.


As the glow of the camp fire disappeared behind him, Spy’s trained eyes adjusted to the darkness of the canyon and absorbed every detail around him. The stark landscape turned beautiful at night. The shades of black and blue made the rocks appear soft, as if the canyon were a painting. The sky above the warzone was as stunning as any in the world. Its richness sucked the Spy in, each star seeming to twinkle just for him. He sighed softly, leaning against a boulder and removing his mask to run a hand through his hair as he looked up at that sky.


Was it really still the same sky?


~


The baby grass was soft to the touch; green with newness in the spring months and damp with dew in the cool night.


“Are you sure this is awright?”


“Oui, my sweet, it iz fine.” Spy had never allowed a lover to remove his mask before and his hands quivered in hesitation. He placed his fingers tenderly over Scout’s mother’s and encouraged her to remove the balaclava. The night air seemed to sting his skin as the fabric was peeled away and he flinched in anticipation of bad karma.


In the midnight lightlessness she could barely see his face but remined awestruck of his trust in her. “Oh, sweethaht,” her voice was silky and low as she ran a hand over his high cheek bones and through his slicked hair, the color of which she couldn’t tell in the lighting.


“Je t’aime, Katherine.” He wrapped his arms around the smooth curve of her back and pulled her closer as they lay in the grass. “I am zo glad for zees time togezur.” .


“Me too,” she whispered as she rested her head on his shoulder. It was her first vacation in five years and she had brought her boys to stay with her sister in the country for a week. It was the first time many of them had been out of the city since they were babies and they were having a blast exploring their aunt’s ranch. As her adoring follower, Spy had rented a room in a nearby town to exploit every moment he was able to spend with her alone.


“When was ze last time you smelled ze fresh air?” He asked in a whisper as he kissed her neck, his expert hands removing her belt.


“Well…” She seemed too preoccupied by his lips to think for a real answer.


“And when was ze last time you were able to zee real starz?” He nuzzled his nose into her dark chocolate hair as he reached around to unzip her dress, pulling it from her shoulders.


“Hmm,” she purred, pressing her nose into the crook of his neck as his hands explored her skin.


“And when was ze last time you were able to enjoy a man’s touch? Wizout worrying about ze boys.” He rolled his hands over her warm breasts as he kissed her shoulders; his breath hot on her porcelain skin.


She hummed like a finely tuned automobile under him as she lifted her hips to allow him to slip away her summer dress. Spy explored her thighs with his hands as his mouth savored the taste of every inch of her body; so full and rich with luscious womanly curves.


He sucked on her shoulder as she helped him out of his jacket and tie. Her slender fingers unbuttoned his shirt to slip her hands inside to feel his lithe torso and many scars, smooth as glass.


As he removed the rest of his clothing he watched her sit up and take down her hair, skin practically glowing in the moon’s light. As her dark hair was allowed to fall free and tickle her shoulders, he caught her eyes in a lustful gaze.


“Now, sweethaht,” she said, pink lips turned up in the best of smirks, “Momma needs some sugar.”


Without a second care in the world, he dove into her and allowed her to envelope all that he was. And loved her as deeply and as fully as he was capable.


~


That damned boy. That damned Scout. The moments seemed to drag on in memories of his past life, brought on by the mere presence of the young man.


He sighed as he collected what little dry wood the canyon offered from shrubs and bushes. He was a different man now, he constantly told himself.


It happened a long time ago.
>> No. 5746
Now, I love how this story is written and I absolutely adore how you attempt to make the characters yours instead of just canon TF2 characters- but I would appreciate it as a reader if you went a little bit more into Sniper's personality and why he did what he did to Scout, rather then the inadequate explanation of him just loving the Scout's body. Why would he so suddenly cheat on Spy? Why did it go from a "What are we doing" to "a blushing and accepting scout" to an, "oh my god, what the fuck is happening?! I dont even-"?
Seriously, don't get me wrong, I really do love this story, it's in my favorites so I can check back for updates. But sometimes I feel like I need to know more about the characters since they're different from canon. So take this as a request for deeper character psychoanalysis.
>> No. 5756
Absence of consent means no consent was given, means rape. Sorry Redd, you stumbled into a minefield here but you'll be able to learn from it. Thing is, most of the readership here are women, many of whom have been victimized or will be victimized by people (mostly men) who don't think they're committing rape, either. It's not that rape is a taboo topic, far from it, and many of us absolutely love rape fantasies. I think it just gets difficult to stomach when you're defending nonconsensual sex with a captive man as "not rape". Smacks a little too strongly of frat boy rationalization of taking advantage of cornered, drunk, or otherwise incapacitated or coerced women.
>> No. 5760
73 Wait for it. The last chapter is starting a chain of mini-flashbacks that will hopefully explain Spy. I will be doing the same for Sniper. Though I probably could have incorporated them sooner. I'm honestly writing this thing by the seat of my pants. It's the first fic I've done in years and while I have all these ides I know I'm not the best at organizing. All I can really say is I'll do my best to make things clear and explain more sooner in the future, if that makes any sense.
74 I appreciate your opinion, and as a woman (who has been involved with domestic violence- and yea I'm comfortable putting that out there) I believe it is a valid one. But my intention was not to write rape, and I'm sorry to everyone who feels that it was. And this is the last time I'm going to say that: Get over it. Everything to be said has been said. Take the text as you will. I've made my intentions pretty clear.
>> No. 5762
Aww cute little spy/scoutma flashback!
>> No. 5763
ok cool we'll all just "get over" rape apologia
>> No. 5764
(I clearly don't know how to format things in chan.)

Thanks Chess! I'm really looking forward to expanding on these mini 'episodes' featuring Scout's Mom. I love her so very much.
>> No. 5835
73 here- thanks! I'm excited for the next update. I'll keep refreshing them pages.
>> No. 6185
neeeeeed update.
>> No. 6187
Aw, y u taunt me with this bump? Y'all are breaking my heart. Sage please?
>> No. 6688
want update nao!! I love the story <3
>> No. 6689
>>82
I think you're either a troll or too young to be here. Please go away and stop bumping threads for no good reason.
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