>>143
..Again? Really? Cut it the fuck out.

Yey! An update! Excitement!

No... no it's not. Y'all keep tricking me. Stop it

sage

Moar

Dammit, stop giving me false hope.

I have a feeling scout is gonna be a playboy bunny, or a naughty school girl. haha

>>148
That is now what I am imagining. Also this fic is really, really great and I can't wait for more of it. I especially liked Sniper's part, and I hope we'll get to see him dance with Spy.

... and I thought part two was up. Darn

So I heard you like moar?

Thanks for the endless bumps. Nothing motivates me more than harassment. Enjoy!

*

Whilst the rain had eased, it had left the ground sodden. Sniper took care to lift the hem of his dress as he made his way to the main building. As soon as he reached the door, he shucked off his mud-encrusted boots and slipped back into his gold heels.

He wiggled his toes, making sure they were on tight. They clopped against floorboards and echoed down the hall. He tried to tread as carefully as he could manage. He wasn’t interested in explaining himself to curious teammates.

The metronome of the wall clock reminded him that it was close to 2 am. He knew that everyone would be in bed by now, and a good chance that Spy was no longer waiting for him. But this was how long it had taken him to muster the courage to seek him out. The whisky had just about worn off. And, as its numbing effects faded, his self-loathing resurfaced, twice as strong.

“Piss”, he mumbled for the hundredth time. This was ridiculous and he knew it. Still, an inexplicable urge was pressing him to give in to his temptations. This bad weather was a one off and he’d been thrown off his game. But, ultimately, it had led to an unexpected opportunity. He didn’t know if he’d give himself another chance to dress like this.

He reached the end of the hall and cracked open the door to the recreation room. A solitary lamp was on in the corner; its sparse light illuminated the battered furniture. Someone had pushed everything up against the walls, leaving an open space in the centre.

He stepped into the clearing, looking for any sign of life. His clacking shoes against the floorboards were the only sounds to break the oppressive silence that permeated that little room.

“Spook?” He tentatively asked. There was no answer. Sniper sighed and ran a hand through his hair. He didn’t know if he should be relieved or disappointed. Somehow, Spy’s absence only made him feel more the fool.

He slumped on a nearby couch. He didn’t really want to go back to his van so soon. He idly stroked his dress. As he touched the soft fabric, vivid memories of his dancing days appeared clear in his mind. He smiled as he remembered some of the better times. He and Fran would dance through hot afternoons, and continue long after the sun set. Time stood still when they moved together. As much as he liked shooting people, it just wasn’t the same kind of magic.

“Bloody Spy.” He said to himself. “He missed out on some good moves.”

“Well, I was beginning to think that you had stood me up, Bushman. I am intrigued. What are these moves you speak of?”

Spy still had the ability to completely take him by surprise. He jolted around to see Spy casually perched on the team’s moth-eaten snooker table. He’d removed his jacket, and he looked far more at ease in his waistcoat and rolled up sleeves.

Sniper pinched the bridge of his nose. “When you want something, you don’t give up on it, do you?”

Spy laughed and slid off the table. “Anyone who has met me would know that. But I admit, if you had come any later I would have resigned it as lost cause.”

He offered his hand to Sniper, who only briefly hesitated before he accepted it, and was pulled to his feet.

Spy looked him up and down with a sly smile. “You are ravishing, Bushman.”

“Come off it. Besides, this ain’t any sillier than your bloody maid getup.”

“Oh? You didn’t seem to think it was so silly that day.”

“Yeah, well. Somethin’ must’ve been in the water. I swear I saw Truckie picking flowers after he spoke to you.”

“Is that so? Then I must make sure to thank him later.”

Sniper didn’t know what to make of that, so he ignored it and decided to just avoid preamble. “So, you’ve done some dancing then? Go on. Show us what you’ve got.”

“Please. I am not a show pony anymore than you are. I need a skilled partner to demonstrate ze best of my abilities.” He made a wide, sweeping gesture and opened his arms. He waggled his brows at Sniper.

“You know I only dance lead.”

“I think it is fair to make an exception in this circumstance.” He flicked his eyes at Sniper’s flowing dress to punctuate his point.

Sniper was still reluctant to subvert tradition. The female dancer certainly had the harder job, but it was also undeniable that she was the glittering centre of attention on the dance floor. Besides, he knew it would be sacrilege to dance lead wearing this thing. “Hmph. You’re lucky I’m a pro. Ain’t too many blokes who could pull it off.”

“I am only too glad to hear it Shall we begin?”

Sniper thought it was a bit awkward just to throw himself at Spy and without a proper send in. “It’s hard enough being a sheila, but it’s even harder when there’s no mood. Do you have any tunes?”

“Please. I am ze Spy! It is my job to think of everything.”

Spy excused himself, and loped away to a dark corner of the room. Sniper stood awkwardly in the centre of the room, wondering what the man was up to, and secretly praying that he could follow Spy’s lead and not make a complete cock of himself. Eventually, after a bit of shuffling, Spy emerged with a hefty gramophone in his arms. He placed it on a table with a thump.

“I ‘borrowed’ this from ze Doctor’s office. I did not ask permission, but I am sure he will never know it was gone.” He pulled out a record sleeve and waved it at Sniper. “Finding a good recording of this was ze ‘ard part. You can thank me later.”

He carefully slipped the shiny black record from its cover and placed it on the gramophone. The needle began to run along the grooves, and a crackle later a very familiar tune filled the room.

As the first guitar chords of España Cañí reached his ears, a wave of sentimentality washed over Sniper. He could almost smell the hairspray in the air. “Crikey, that takes me back.”

“I hope this is adequate to get you ‘in the mood’. Paso Doble was not my specialty. But I believe I can keep up.”

Sniper looked back at Spy with a fresh grin. “You better, mate. I have standards.”

The two men looked each other down with purpose. The music took hold of Sniper’s limbs, and he carefully stepped backwards, raising his hands in the air. It was the cursory position before the start of the dance. Despite Spy’s uncertainties, he seemed to know exactly what to do. He took a step backwards with a controlled sway of the hips. He straightened his posture like a strutting peacock.

“Show me what you’ve got, filthy jar man.”

“Try not to step on my toes, frog.”

Even his wildest dreams, Sniper hadn’t expected the intensity between them when they clashed together. His body embraced the music like an old friend. He was even keeping his balance in those precarious shoes. Sniper had danced follow before, but only as a means to understand his partner’s steps. Now, as he let Spy lead him through the dance, he truly understood the thrill of it.

“Not bad, for a codger.” He teased as he twirled around his partner. His dress fluttered after his body, accentuating his movement.

“I must admit,” breathed Spy as he concentrated on his timing. “You are impressive.”

Spy took him by the hand and pressed their chests together. The intimacy didn’t bother Sniper as much as he feared. He was too caught up in the dance to care.

Spy moved Sniper’s hand to rest on his waist, guiding his movements. Only experience kept their legs from tangling together. They were so close that Sniper could smell the heady aroma of Spy’s aftershave.

Sniper ducked and weaved around Spy. They moved in harmony, sensing each other’s steps before they had even moved. They were nearing the end of the routine now. The chorus of trumpets heralded the climax of the dance. Their eyes were locked on each other, electricity crackled around them.

The gramophone jumped, sending the music to a grinding halt.

This was enough to break the spell. In his surprise, Sniper misplaced his foot, sending the both of them tumbling to the floor.

It was a chaotic tangle of satin, sequins and legs. Sniper was draped over Spy, struggling to catch his breath. As they both recovered from the shock, their eyes met. That was all it took. They pressed their mouths together and kissed with the urgency of love-starved teenagers.

Sniper moved his legs up to fit more comfortably around Spy’s hips. Spy wasted no time either, running his hands under the fabric of Sniper’s skirt to gain more access.

“I haven’t,” breathed Sniper between kisses, “felt like this for years.”

“Nor I –OH- keep doing that, merci bocu.”

Their touching was getting frantic. The sound of Spy’s unbuckling belt only spurred Sniper on. He ground their hips together, revelling in the hot breath against his neck.

“Oh god,” Sniper hissed. Spy had turned them over, and had hooked Sniper’s legs around his waist. His wandering hands had found their way beneath Sniper’s dacks, and had now taken both their cocks in hand, stroking them together in just the right way.

“You dance better than any woman,” Spy groaned, using his free hand to reach around and grope Sniper’s exposed thigh.

“Cause I’m the bloody best!” Sniper reaffirmed his statement by bucking into Spy’s hand, and pulling him in for another bruising kiss.

The passion couldn’t hold out. They came together, gasping and swearing and hanging on to each other for dear life.

The gramophone continued to crackle, and was now the only sound in the room. They lay pressed against each other, dazed as the heat slowly subsided.

Spy was the first the pull away, smoothing down his ruffled shirt and clearing his throat. “Well… this is awkward.”

Sniper would have made a similarly uncomfortable statement, if something hadn’t caught his eye, stopping him in his tracks. “Err… do you wear frilly knickers every day, or is that just for me?”

Spy looked down to discover that, with the trousers undone, his lacy black panties were exposed to the world. He quickly tucked himself in and zipped up his pants with a speed that would make Scout proud.

Even through the wool of his balaclava, He looked so mortified that Sniper was left with no alternative but to laugh out loud. He gripped his sides, almost crying with hysterics. The tension was broken.

“What,” Said Spy, trying to regain some of his dignity. “They are comfortable. I do not see ze shame in it.”

“I shoulda known you were a bloody poof. Are you wearing a bra too?” Sniper laughed again. He pushed himself to a sitting position, pulling down his dress for modesty. He was dismayed to discover that the lining was splattered with sticky white droplets. “Piss, that’ll never come out.”

Spy had moved to lean against the couch. He lit two cigarettes and handed one to Sniper, who accepted it gratefully. “I will pay for ze dry cleaning.”

They smoked in silence, still both a little confused by this whole incident.

“Y’know. You could improve your posture. It would make it easier to follow you.” Said Sniper, when he reached the end of his smoke.

“Well, some of steps were slightly out of time. I suppose you were out of practice.” Rebutted Spy.

“Guess we both need more practice.” They sat side by side, staring at the crackling gramophone while that statement hung in the air. “So… same time next week?”

“Oui. That would be for the best.”

STOP FARKING BUMPING TH--

...

Oh.

Well.

That was nice.

SEX!

HOLY SHIT! IT HAS SEX!

I have no words but those of adoring praise.

Also, it should be 'merci beaucoup', not 'bocu'. It's pronounced like that, so it's an understandable mistake, but I just thought you should know.

And I am eagerly awaiting more.
Captcha: 313 iceBra. I don't know why, but given the story, it made me laugh.

I am in awe. This chapter was well worth the wait.



"Even his wildest dreams", I think you missed a "in".

When I saw this at the top I was sad because I assume it was just bumped again.
But then I was overwhelmed by joy.
And now I am highly aroused.

Banimal I love you, never stop!

My babies. You can have all of them.

Seriously, I'm not even that big of a Spy/Sniper person yet I love this to death. The dancing was excellent and the sex was hot. Well worth the wait.

YES! Oh, yes, a thousand times yes, Paso Doble, I am so freaking INTO this!

Ballroom dancing, frilly knickers, Sniper/Spy... You've made me a very happy woman today.

I love love love this chapter. Every bit of it.

Well worth the TEDIOUS wait! I giggled like a school girl and squirmed like a hormonal teenager. Very good! I hope you continue.

captcha = at-Law. ventato

Aw man this is the best update EVER!

At the part where they were dancing all I could hear in my head was "el tango de roxanne" from Moulon Rouge.

Instant headcanon

I CAME.

Frilly Spy panties are the best thing EVER!

Teeny note: it's 'merci beaucoup'. Not sure if intentional or not.

Captcha says: noteis wizards. YES, CAPTCHA, BANIMAL IS INDEED A WIZARD.

You know what I find ironic? Just read the TF2 blog. Apparently the guy who voices Sniper just came out with a book called 'Dancing with Eternity'.

Please telling me you'll be continuing this again.
Pleeeease.

The moral of the story is never trust Google translate. Oh well! You get what you pay for.


I have Engineer next on my hit list. But I work on Valve time, so I can't tell you when it will be done.

YES, an actual update! I love how you described the dance scene, but when the panties happened I laughed so hard my stomach still hurts.

I saw the update and a smile lit my face, excitement stole my heart and the night was so much brighter.

Then it turned out to be a comment bump. Heartbreak and devastation.

>>166

Ditto.

I loved the dance scene so much I can't even say. Also panties for the win. I'm excited to see what you come up with for engie!

fabulous!! i jizzed when i saw an update, and it was amazing~ keep up the good work~

Out of curiosity, how come the version of Sniper's first chapter you posted in ff.net is missing the beginning?

Since the threads on the Chan are automatically deleted after a while, I saved the link to your ff.net page rather than to this thread. But if the ff.net version is incomplete, the missing parts will be lost forever once this thread is deleted, it will be a pity.

Did you just decide that the story worked better without Spy and Sniper's discussion?

>>170

That is more a case of me mindlessly copy and pasting into a new document without double checking. Thanks for pointing that out. I'll fix it up.

One thing that I'm finding very interesting is the whole "reasoning" thing with the outfits; that the Soldier is picking out the attire with very specific intention, whether its to remind the men of something in particular or to immasculate their culture or job or whathaveyou. And they've all made sense, BUT it leaves me wondering why Solly's outfit was... mainly that of a streetwalker. I REALLY hope that's brought to light later in the story somewhere, because the implications have me 'hohohon'ing with anticipation all over the place.

more please

This entire thing was amazing, but the part with Sniper and Spy...was just...I LOVED IT.

Are you kidding me

>>174

I cried. Goddamn.

I know guys. I know.

Let's all go cry together.

may i join in?

;n;

>>164

Banimal, you're hardly the first artist to work on Valve time, but certainly earned the right to! Keep bringing the Valve quality results and we'll forgive any amount of Valve time it takes.

Hey Sora, I'm glad you're enjoying my stories. I swear to god, after this week is over I can commit some time to writing. It's just that my degree has given me an abnormal workload, and my creative gland is a little burned out. But I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. It's nearly over! Hoorah!

>>180.

Please Sir/Madaam may I have some more?? *puts out bowl for more delicious fic*

(*Bans you from text boards for necrobumping and using actions*)

>>181

Consider yourself reported, and have a nice day.

~*=^w^=*~

UGUUUUUUUUUUUUUU~~~~~~~~~

(And you're banned for unnecessary obnoxiousness)

I concur - this is humorous as hell and I am loving it.

Upload whenever you are ready to - work like this takes time.

Damn bumps... I'm glad at least that the thread was kept from dying though. Still waiting for the next installment, hopefully soon!

182
Banned for that? Something that several spam in the mantrain constantly? Mods need to lighten up.

>>185

It's a TEMPORARY ban. Most of these are all TEMPORARY. What part of that don't you guys understand? Seriously, it's like a smack on the wrist for being a dumbass. A comment like >>182 is just ASKING for someone to go "BAWW YOU GUYS ARE MEANIES!" and then everyone will pile in here and try to justify or demonize someone. And I will not condone that behavior. Anon should have just reported and left it at that. Don't start nothing, don't be nothing, maggots. If you continue to derail Banimal's thread, I will take action against you. You got complaints about mods? Take it to /inception/.

>>185
Post 182 was in violation of Global Rules 2a and 8a. Don't do stupid shit that makes you look underage and don't be a unnecessary douchebag. See a post you don't like? Report it, don't reply to it with unnecessary childish bullshit. Kilo is in the right for enforcing the rules, and the mods reserve the right to enforce the rules as they see fit. However, like Kilo mentioned in her post, if you have a problem with the mods, please address it in /inception/ and it'll be discussed.

It would do everyone a whole lot of good to read the rules.

Also, I have never seen any of those wapanese bullshit emotes when I'm on the Mantrain, but that's another story for another thread.

I can't wait to find out what Engie and Pyro end up having to deal with.

(I sure hope I'm doing the whole saging thing right... )

While I am looking forward to what Engie and Pyro are going to get I'm DYING in anticipation to see what Scout's going to get. Seeing as he's the one who constantly bullies everyone else when they wear lady-clothes, it would be sweet justice if he got something REAALY bad.

I'm still holding out for Scout the Schoolgirl, myself. Ribbons everywhere.

Also, to the author, this story just keeps making me laugh a little too loudly. My roommates might think I've gone mad. But, it's totally worth it.

188
Oh god. Pyro.
That.
-how?

I'm very curious about engineer, though.

Bonus if scout has some costume that makes references to him being a virgin.

(saged? I think I did that right)

> 191 - Bonus if scout has some costume that makes references to him being a virgin
Oh god seconded with the power of a thousand suns.

>>190
Yes, I agree! Scout either as a schoolgirl with knee socks and plaid ribbons, or possibly a confirmation gown (>>191) for that virginal touch.

Why do I have a mental image of Pyro as Barbarella? Sparkly hotpants over PVC catsuit, and the hugest Easter-pastel bouffant wig...