Author's Note: It was requested I write something featuring RED Spy and the ever-neglected BLU Sniper. It's the opposite of my usual preferences, but I thought doing something a little different would be fun. But, the idea that came to mind I realized would be longer than my usual tumblr request fills and would need to be a 'chan post, with chapters and everything. So here I am. ---/-/--- Ch. 1- An Indecent Proposal ---/-/--- It begins as innocently as anything ever did, for the Spy. Which is to say, it does not begin very innocently. He'd learned about his counterpart, and he stubbornly prides himself upon having just enough of a sliver of honor, that he isn't prepared to ruin his own teammate's life just to get back at the BLU Spy. Just because he has no plans to spread the photographs he took of his rival around, however, does not mean he plans to get rid of them. The two made such a lovely picture... So rough. So animal. He misses that. Things are different with a man, and adventurous and accommodating as his lady is, some things will always be different. They talk, on the phone-- his private phone, in his house on the weekend, and he hates the distance separating them until he'll next have the time to meet with her, but the long, dirty telephone calls make that distance bearable. He confesses things to her in the afterglow that he never has told a woman before, things he doesn't think he could say if she were in his arms. The silence after is torment, until he hears her soft, breathy sigh, can picture the round 'o' of her lips exhaling a stream of smoke. One of her own cigarettes, and not a drag stolen from his. She does not smoke the way he does, but after sex, she indulges. "Cherie?" He hates knowing there is a tremor in his voice that needs to be suppressed, even if it never reaches her ear. "You can if I can." "But of course. I do not own you... and I do not mean to leave you lonely." "Would you tell me all about it?" Her voice is throaty, playful. "I will if you will." He relaxes into a smile. "Tell me... do you have a man in mind for the job?" "College boy always looks down my dress when he catches me bending over at the laundromat. Pretty sure if I face the other way he tries to get a good eyeful of my ass. It's been a long time since I've been with a boy near that young... Hell, he's half my age or worse." She laughs. "But I think he'd like being corrupted. Do you have a man in mind?" "Ah... someone I work with. He seems the type." The Spy smiles. "That is to say, I seem to be his type. He is... delightfully rugged. I am not sure which appeals to me more, between the chance to let a nice strong man have his way with me... and the thought of dominating him." "Won't you have time to do both, before our next 'date'?" "You are a wicked woman." He laughs. "That college boy will not know what hit him. But I am keeping you up, ma belle, the time difference... Pleasant dreams." "They will be. Sleep tight." "But of course." There is a long pause before they hang up, where they simply listen to each other breathe, simply relax. His sleep is perfect. When Monday rolls around, he finds time to get his teammate alone, and he very narrowly ducks the punch aimed his way at the suggestion. "I don't understand the hostility." He straightens his jacket with a disapproving cough. "I merely offered you a very enjoyable evening. Based on the photographs I've taken, I am your type." The Sniper snarls at him, and it does not exactly dampen his ardor. "Photographs?" "Oh please. You had to know, getting involved with that man, that I would want my own back." "Fuck you." "That's the idea." "I'm--" The Sniper's mouth snaps shut, and he looks around nervously before continuing in a softer tone. "I'm taken." "He can join us." "You're taken yourself, ain't ya?" "She looks forward to hearing of my escapades." He grins. "Having the both of you may even surprise her." "You're not getting either of us." He growls, turning on his heel and stalking off. The Spy is not used to being rebuffed. He sets to work, when the round starts, and it's then that he hits upon a solution. If the RED Sniper won't have him, then perhaps the BLU Sniper will... after all, their fights are always so electrifying, and a man without a steady supply of sex he thinks is unlikely to turn him down. Yes, if he can get the BLU Sniper, then the RED's attractiveness pales in comparison. There is a draw in the taboo of having an enemy, one he wonders if his counterpart is getting off on. Something that makes him look at their fights in a new light, imagining something different. When he gets the upper hand, he slams the BLU Sniper back into the wall of his nest and leans in close. "What do you say you and I fuck?" He grins, catching the Sniper's wrist before the man can recover and gut him. "Oh, cher, you wound me-- at least think about it." "What the hell's wrong with you, ya bloody spook?" The Sniper twists away, but when his hips meet the Spy's, it takes a conscious effort. "Monsieur Sniper, you see so much of what goes on, on this battlefield... you see so much of what our teammates get up to. Can you really tell me you have never seen anything... improper, between our counterparts? I just wondered if it was possible they had the right idea about things. Certainly it could be explosive." The Sniper shoves him off, retreating a few steps, eyes wide and face red. His hand trembles, though, and he licks his lips and those wide eyes do not leave the Spy, though they travel every inch of him. "I am flexible." The Spy smiles. "What do you like?" "I don't." The Sniper shuts him down, grabbing his kukri back up at last. Still, he makes no move to use it. "Oh, now that is a shame." The Spy clucks, sliding back in close and tracing the scar across the Sniper's cheek with his tongue. "I'll bet I can find something you will like." The touch to the scar does it, and the Sniper snaps out of his torn fugue, skewering the Spy, his own breath coming in labored pants beyond what exertion demands. When the Spy comes to in respawn, he is more committed to his course of action than ever. The Sniper was conflicted, yes, but not uninterested... and he decided it was for both of their benefit that they fall into bed together, and soon. Repression wasn't healthy, after all... he could be just what the doctor ordered.
Things started "innocently" she said as if anything can be innocent with the RED Spy involved ... ... and you are right the BLU Sniper does need more love. I can't wait to see where this is going
I'm glad there's finally a story when the Spy really has to TRY to get his target. More than anything I'd love to see the Scout's mother getting jealous and losing her fuck buddy to the Sniper.
Ch. 2- In Pursuit of Dangerous Prey ---/-/--- They are at each other's throats all but constantly, with the Spy offering himself every time, and the Sniper rebuffing him. The Spy sees the cracks. If he didn't, he would quit his pursuit, but he sees the Sniper look. He sees the Sniper want. He can't comprehend why the man won't just let himself have. It would be one thing, if it felt like a drawn out courtship, but he can see the honest internal struggle that the Sniper has whenever they touch. He returns to the Sniper's nest after the last round of the day, and waits. When the man returns, the Spy is comfortably stretched out on the mattress that's been laid out in the corner. This is not just one of the sniping decks that litter some battlefields more than others, this is the man's home away from home, and he freezes at seeing the Spy there. "Hear me out?" He offers a cigarette, smiling as the Sniper accepts with trembling fingers. He offers a light, and his smile curves up, sly and satisfied, when that is accepted as well. "What makes you think it'll change things?" "Because I will hear you out as well. A fair back-and-forth, one without the knives. Unless, of course, you get off on that." He bobs his eyebrows, but stops at the Sniper's scowl. "I don't. do. this." The Sniper shakes his head, arms crossing his chest. "Mm... is that to keep me out, or to keep you in?" The Spy pats the mattress. "Tell me what you don't do. Specifically. 'This' is so open to interpretation, and I would so hate to get it wrong." "Smug bastard. I don't have sex." "With enemies? With spies? With men?" He draws the Sniper on. "With anyone. Don't like being touched." "Don't you? Such a shame... But you are not without feeling, you are attracted to me?" "That doesn't mean I like being touched." "Have you never...?" He sits, keeping distance between them. "Yeah. Found out she was there to kill me and couldn't go through with it." "So you do not trust? Monsieur, you and I, we kill each other every day. In a way, is that not perfect?" "That's not why I don't like it." His scowl deepens. "I don't... I don't like how... how warm it is, and how... wet. I don't like it." "You did not like her. But you look at me. And I am not a woman. So when you look at me, what is it you think about? A blowjob? I would not have to be on top of you, minimal contact, no sweating all over you..." The Sniper shakes his head. "Not interested." There is a delighted smile in place of frustration, and that throws the Sniper for a moment. "Would you want to be fucked, cheri?" The Spy murmurs. "If it is fucking something, as you say, too warm and too wet, which does not appeal to you... this could be a neat solution." "Like hell am I gonna bend over and beg you to fuck me." "Oh, you do not have to beg... You do not have to bend over, for that matter, the things I could show you..." "Well I don't get fucked by men either." He growls, shoving the Spy back when the man leans in too close. "Then what is it you think of, when you look at me? Don't pretend, I see you do it. I see you try to put a stop to it." The Sniper worries at his lip a moment, with sharp, crooked teeth. "I think about them pictures. Of you and your... Of Scout's mum. I'm not interested in being in 'em." The Spy sucks in a breath, a light coming on in his eyes. Realization, and a little flicker of that same delight, if not quite so strong. "You wish you had taken them." He sighs, his hand sliding up to almost touch the Sniper's. "I can work with this. I want you to open up, you know? Yes, we are enemies, but... well, it isn't healthy. Denying yourself the whole of one of life's great pleasures?" "Maybe it's not a pleasure to me." He folds his arms again, but when the Spy makes another slide closer, he doesn't draw away. "This weekend, suppose I do not go home-- that is an address I am not prepared to give you, as much as I want this. Suppose this weekend I go to the hotel. I will make a little sign in the window, leave the blinds open... and I will call my lady, and you will watch. Will you watch? I will undress, slowly... and-- Do you read lips?" He nods, without looking at the Spy, without confirming that smug, sly smile widening at the confirmation. "Then I will be sure to enunciate, and to face that window. And I will give you a show that you will not be able to resist." "Awful up yourself." He snorts. "Well, I have seduced men with less." "Didn't even promise I'd come watch you." "But you will." He rises, letting his hand ghost across the Sniper's face. The Sniper bats at him and the Spy just chuckles, hitting the button on his watch and disappearing in a puff of smoke. It is a long while before the Sniper relaxes, his skin crawling even as he leaves his nest to join the team for dinner, but back at his own base the Spy feels as confident and unperturbed as he's ever been. Perhaps it will be a slow road... but the Sniper will be there, he doesn't doubt it a second, and once he's had a nice, long look, the Spy is certain he'll want to touch. And then... Then, all bets are off.
Such a promising start and now we're going to have even more Spy/Scout's mother? I was so happy this story continued so soon but I'm not looking forward to the next chapter.
>>5 Yeah, it really blows to have a story with complex interpersonal relationships and realistic character development instead of one where a guy just immediately stops seeing someone he's committed to and starts fucking his teammmate who doesn't want to touch him. But seriously, as much as I'm always hungry for more Sniper/Spy fics, it is one of the most written pairings, and there are a hundred others that just have the two of them fucking and nobody else. Anne has written a bunch of them herself. One fic that also has a woman in it won't kill us--and we don't even know what's going to happen next chapter, so why are you already complaining about it? Gee. Personally, as a huge fan of phone sex, voyeurism, and sexually reluctant Sniper, I'm VERY excited.
>>5 Anon, if you're just looking for pointless smut with characters being done as they have been over and over again, there's plenty of chan, tumblr, and ff.net to cater to that. Anne does characters, though. And it kind of shows that you might not have read anything by her before if you think that she would just toss them together to bang that easily. Anne takes pairings and does beautiful takes on them, things that are rare or new, and if everything went the way that the characters planned it, then there really wouldn't be a point in seeing how things panned out. As for the story itself, Anne, I'm enjoying this emmensely and I'm super excited to see you doing another serial fic!
I'm very interested in how this is going to play out. Also hoping/assuming that this Sniper is Stone, or at least someone very similar to him.
Okaaaaaayyyy... Ummh, is Scout's mother going to have a big sexual role in this? I hope not, I'd hate to abandon this thread because of her.
"And it kind of shows that you might not have read anything by her before if you think that she would just toss them together to bang that easily." It shows? Really? Because I have read most of her fics and know perfectly well she takes time developing the characters before sending them to bed. I don't see what that has to do with me hating Spy/Scout's mother though..? - Anon 5
This Spy makes me giggle. What a shameless git.
Guilt-shaming an author for including a canon character in a canon pairing because you dislike the pairing and/or the gender of the character. What the hell is wrong with you people!? >>5 >>9 >>10 Waaah, I hate Scout’s mom for no discernible reason. Baaaw, I only want to read slash, if you keep putting off-screen references to icky vaginas in your story I’ll have to abandon it!!11!!! Do you want a pacifier with that immature tantrum or would that be too titty for you poor babies? Here’s a thing: Don’t go into other people’s threads, tell them you hate the characters/pairings they have chosen to write about, and expect them to change their story to suit your needs. What’s next, don’t write about Demo because he’s black? Fuck off. — Anne, I know I don’t comment often enough on your stories, but I just want to say that I have read every single one on your blog and here on the ‘chan, and I absolutely love what you do, how you give space to uncommon expressions of gender and sexuality, how the fetishes you describe are never crude and always based in the personalities of your characters. You’re one of my favourite writers by far, not only in the TF2 fandom but in general; there are few published books I have read as many times as I have some of your stories. Please keep doing what you do; you’re a blessing to this fandom.
Wow. Talking about immature, Cyan. I wouldn't talk too big if I were you if that's the only argument you can think of. I just love how after a few comments the whole chan is on their periods. The haters are wearing the biggest troll faces right now. Anyway, I'm looking forward for the next update. I don't mind having some straight moments even if I usually stick with slash. If it leads to Sniper/Spy I'm pretty sure it's worth it.
It's nice to see a character who doesn't enjoy/thinks they don't enjoy sex in a fic. This is great Anne I'm excited to read the next chapter.
As someone who likes Anne's writing in general and ships Spy with both Scout's mom and Sniper I am loving this fic so far and am really looking forward to whatever happens next.
I adore your BLU Spy/RED Sniper stuff a hell of a lot but I think it's possible that I'm enjoying reading about the build-up between these two even more. I agree with the other anon about it being great to see a character who doesn't seem so keen on sex and I really love how Spy doesn't shun him for it (even if it's only because of his own future interests). Looking forward to future chapters that include any and all characters you may choose to include! Your characterisations are always well-thought-out and a delight to read.
>>5 >>9 getaloadofthisguycam.jpg >>12 Personally I think coming into a thread and bitching about how it doesn't have the pairing you want to read in it is a hundred time more immature but what the fuck do I know?
I sometimes wish the rule of Thumper could apply to the internet. If you don't like the pairings, don't say anything; just walk away. Anyway, I like how this story is going. I adore your work. I stopped reading books years ago, you got me reading again. Keep it up!
Man, fuck all those guys who are throwing hissy fits over a female character. Fanbrats will be fanbrats. I adore Scout's Mom being involved and I'm delighted to see it in this fic. I'm going to be closely watching this thread with bated breath.
Learn to sage, "brat"
Quick author's note: Sorry about the wait time on this chapter, hopefully I can get another one during the early part of the week, as I'm on a short break from the messed up schedule that's been cutting into my writing time. There will be Scoutma involvement in a sense, because she is the person the RED Spy has been shown to be in a canonical relationship with, and my favored characterization for him is 'rampantly bisexual but emotionally faithful sex machine'. BUT, she doesn't appear 'onscreen', and the main focus of the fic is definitely on Sniper. She really just shows up over the phone in this next chapter... and even then, it's more about the Spy/Sniper interaction, such as it is. Sniper is not wholly asexual here, because I think the idea of 'fixing' asexuality is icky, and I'm sure I'm not alone. He is on a low-need side of things, but I didn't want anyone thinking I was writing fully-asexual-person-healed-by-magic-cock. Still, it's an interesting space on the sexual spectrum to get to explore. ---/-/--- Ch. 3- For Show ---/-/--- She tells him about the college boy, as he undresses, standing by the bed with the phone tucked between shoulder and jaw. The Spy is in possession of a good imagination, and he lets it run wild, her descriptions fueling intimate tableaux on the mind's eye. The college boy is faceless, many-faced, he imagines an amalgam of every young man he's ever passed on a street and given no thought to. Her, her he knows by heart, and he offers to pretend to fumble the next time, to play young for her. He doesn't think he was ever naive, but he can pretend, if she would get off on the game. "Tell me about yours." She urges, as he finally positions himself naked on the bed. He's semi-hard-- and it had been a struggle to get undressed with her voice curling in his ear, between keeping the phone from falling and dealing with his erection. "Mine is stubborn, but I will have him yet." He grins, posing a little, making sure that the window offers the most advantageous view of him. "He is watching me tonight." "Oh?" "Mm. I know he is. From across the way, through a telescope." A small lie, but he doesn't need to tell her that there is a rifle aimed his way. "I told him he would, and he is. Even if he planned not to come and watch, he is..." He runs a hand down his chest, slowly, gives a lazy flick to one nipple, eyes darting to the window. His smile drips smugness as his hand trails further down. He has kept his mask and gloves on, something he considers a necessary precaution in hotels, and sometimes in his own home. It is a little bit of a shame, he likes to be free to rake his own fingernails lightly over the skin sometimes, when he is alone with himself. Still, the Sniper would have to give him a hell of a lot more, to see a glove come off. Still, he knew the man was watching, could imagine those eyes, narrowed in concentration, tracing over him. "Oh, yes." He sighed, wandering hand veering off to grab at his thigh. Not yet... He pressed in hard with his thumb, the little edge of pressure-turned-pain sharpening him. "He is definitely watching... I have never promised a show and not delivered." He hears her laugh, the warm, dark one, before she speaks. "Go on. Tell me about him." He turns to the window again, and hopes the man can lip read. "This man I am after?" He asks, pausing to lick his lips. "Tall. Very tall. Lean. You would like him, ma belle, but he is a tricky one. Does not like to be petted at... I will have my work cut out for me seducing him." He imagines the Sniper in the room watching him. They can work their way up to that, he decides. He would like to see the effect he has firsthand, but he can still picture it, imagine the man's pupils dilating and his pants tightening. He spits into his palm, working the saliva over his cock, where inattention had let it soften slightly. The touch has him hard again, and he lets out a soft groan at even the light stroking. "He is not a bad-looking man at all, really. And right now he is watching me stroke my cock. Perhaps he thinks he can keep himself safe from me, but... tell me I am irresistible." "I don't know." She laughs, and he can hear the strain in it, and imagines her own hand is straying downward as well. "But I do know it's never any fun resistin' ya." "Mm, I will have to tell him you said that. It is no fun resisting me. Mm, I am going to be nice and easy with myself. Slow-- I want to let him enjoy watching." He smirks. The looser grip helps with that, and he reminds himself to keep his strokes slow. He imagines the Sniper again, awkwardly palming at his own arousal, not yet ready to give into it. Not ready to unzip his jeans and get himself off to the sight, the stubborn ass... but not able to deny it entirely. "I would very much like to suck his cock, if he will ever let me." He says, almost airily, and the moan on the other end of the line lets that last little knot of worry in his chest slip loose. "Would you like watching me suck cock?" On the other end of the phone, her response is positive, but he can only guess at the Sniper. Could he get another man, in his hotel room? The fey maitre d' in the hotel restaurant, perhaps... Not his usual type, not at all, but would the Sniper want to watch him with another man, having seen the pictures of him with a woman? It would certainly prove his skills... and really, his type was flexible, when it came down to it. "I do so love putting on a show." He smiled, leaving his cock alone for a moment. The deprivation of even a light touch was torture, but then, that would make its return all the sweeter, and he wanted the Sniper to have a good look at him, in all of his glory. He licked his palm, drawing that act out as well, letting the scent of leather fill his nostrils. "Sometime I will have to show you." He finally continued, stroking himself again. "Oh... yes, sometime I will have to show you. I could make a pretty picture on my knees. I could drive a man wild, easy." He will ask the Sniper, he decides. He can get the maitre d' on the following weekend, if the Sniper would enjoy it... and he can tell his lady all about it, when they talk. "I could make a pretty picture getting fucked, too." He moans, letting himself speed up just a little, grinning at the soft 'oh yes' coming over the line. "Or doing the fucking, though... well, you have seen that already." There is no soft little chuckle for that, no amused snort, only the rhythmic litany of Yes that he knows means she'll be coming soon, and he lets himself get a little bit closer to catching up, with his face turned to the window. He can only keep up the dirty talk so long, before it starts coming half in French, and then he bites down on his lip and speeds up fast, and gives a stray thought to the hope that it lands attractively, when he comes, though he isn't sure what the Sniper's aesthetic preferences are, when the topic at hand is come-spatter. One last sly gaze to the window and he licks each finger clean of the little bit of mess to get on his hand. "Pleasant dreams." He wishes them both, before he hangs up the phone, rolls out of bed, and pulls the window shade.
Thank you Anne for continuing with this fic despite some ...negative feedback.
Thank you for the answer, Anne. I'm happy to hear she isn't in a very big role. And I have my reason to dislike her, it has nothing to do with her being a female. It's all about what Valve has taught us about her. I will definitely keep reading. Thank you for the update!
I like to imagine that while this chapter was going on, Sniper was in his van knitting a sweater. I understand all to well that "don't like to be touched" doesn't mean "don't like other forms of sexual interaction," but this still makes me a bit uncomfortable. Something about the way Spy is processing the whole situation envokes the feel of "'fixing' asexuality" even if that's not quite what's really going on. Telling myself that Sniper is in his van knitting a sweater fixes it somehow. I guess it's okay for Spy to be a prick who thinks he has the answers as long as he doesn't actually have the answers.
Personally, I didn't get the impression of "fixing asexuality" at all, but rather "fixing sexual repression." The two are often confused IRL because many people are douches who won't just accept "sorry, not interested" and insist that if you don't want to have sex you MUST be sexually repressed. However, that doesn't actually mean that they are even remotely close. Just because asexual people are often forced to deal with dumbasses who want to coerce them into becoming sexual beings, doesn't mean that every single person who is reluctant to have sex must be asexual. Sniper has admitted that he enjoyed watching a naked man have sex, that he wished he had taken the pictures. Considering the fact that the story takes place in the '60s and that homosexuality was outright criminalized in Australia, it seems far more likely to me that his reluctance to be touched by the very male Spy is because it has been drilled into his head since childhood that gay sex is disgusting. And since he didn't enjoy sex with a woman, he convinced himself that sex as a whole is something to avoid. Plus, this is not just some random prick we are talking about, this is Spy. He must have a superhuman ability to read people, or else he wouldn't be able to impersonate them so flawlessly. Watch Meet The Spy again. Spy is not just a shapeshifter, he doesn't just look like the person he disguises himself as. He actually acts like them perfectly, changes his whole body language and split-second reactions. He may not have all the answers, but at the very least I really don't think he wouldn't recognize genuine asexuality. I've been enjoying this story immensely.
Your interpretation is fair enough. I wasn’t reading Sniper as asexual, nor really do I see him as what I’d call ‘repressed’ either—that term's the likes I use to describe sickness. He just seems to me like a guy who’s been getting on passably well by having a vast space bubble all to himself--maybe indeed he got into that position because of his homosexuality, who knows when it hasn't really been discussed yet--and isn’t all too sure about changing his system. Plus, there's Spy's girlfriend and scandalous pictures floating around and Spy's an asshole and a lot of other things that aren't repression but are certainly good reasons to resist the urge to jump into bed with someone--But that’s neither here nor there. My discomfort lies in the fact that Spy’s whole, “he doesn’t know he wants it, but he wants it, and I’m going to make him come and get it†attitude is the stuff that sexual harassment cases are made of… and no surprise, he’s been dogging Sniper for sex in ways that would get a person fired in any other workplace. Plus there was that whole first chapter, where Spy was essentially choosing the target of his ‘affections’ by algorithm, which really doesn’t make his cause seem any more noble. Quothe the second sentence of the story: “It does not begin very innocently.†I understand that Spy is Spy and he’s a cocky, manipulative, possibly heartless bastard, and yes, as much as it would please me to see everything blow up in his face, he probably does know quite well what he's doing, so this is all a very realistic way of portraying his behaviour. But that doesn’t make his treatment of Sniper any less vile, so unless this is supposed to be one of those stories where darkness prevails and everybody goes home feeling a little bit depressed (I think it’s great if it is, as long as it’s written with that intent) Spy is at some point going to have to stop viewing Sniper as a crossword puzzle, and Sniper’s going to have to mature into his own character with his own motivations, not merely a subject of whatever Spy is up to. Not knowing if that's actually going to happen is what makes me want to believe that Sniper is in his van knitting a sweater. So, Anne, you’re doing fine. Nothing is broken. Write what you want to write. I’m just letting you know what I’m getting from it so far, because some authors have use for that sort of information—I don’t know if my interpretation is what you intended, and as the person above me confirms, my interpretation isn’t the only one coming out of this story… and as always, it’s up to you if you want to change anything. I’ll probably still read whatever you write.... And judge it. No pressure.
I see your point, but then my question becomes "why should it be innocent?" I mean, they are ruthless mercenaries who murder people for a living. But the attempt to seduce somebody who is reluctant to give in is vile? I just don't see it. You really can't compare normal workplace ethics to TF2. Given the context, frankly I really don't see anything objectionable with what Spy is doing. Nor would I see it as darkness prevailing if he managed to get Sniper in bed, not even remotely. On the contrary, assuming my interpretation of repressed sexuality is correct, I'd actually see it as a happy ending, since repression is most certainly not healthy. Plus, it doesn't seem to me like Spy is saying "he doesn’t know he wants it, but he wants it." It sounds to me like he is saying "he knows he wants it, and I believe the reason he is refusing to acknowledge his own desires is sexual repression. Sexual repression is not healthy, so getting him in bed will make us both happy." Of course Spy is almost entirely motivated by his own lust, but again, they are mercenaries. As far as selfishness goes, doing something for his own benefit that would also benefit somebody else as a bonus doesn't even come remotely close to what they do for a living. I just enjoy the way the story has been developing and hope it keeps going that way. The lack of innocence makes it much more interesting, imo.
I do admit to being a little uncomfortable with Spy's pressuring, and with the fact that Spy seems to be under the impression that his dick is the magical cure of sexual repression (which, as a gay person who has dealt with repression, I can assure you it is not that easy to overcome). But I also recognize that this is completely in-character for him, and I can appreciate that there is a difference between reality and fiction (and to add that sometimes it's nice to indulge the fantasy that sexual repression IS that easy to overcome), and I trust Anne's writing. I just hope that Sniper, eventually, will tell Spy off for being such a pest...Even if they end up in bed together, anyway.
What Spy is doing is definitely unethical, but I think that's precisely what's making this story so interesting. As Scrunchy said, Anne doesn't just write pointless smut, she writes characters, and sometimes characters do unethical things. Which creates conflict and drama, which make for awesome stories! I'm LOVING the contrast between Sniper's reluctance and maybe even fear with Spy's lust and self-assuredness. It's a great context to explore, the potential for character introspection is fantastic. It's even more interesting because Spy seems sincerely convinced that he is being helpful, there is no intended villainy on his part at all. He is being very human. I do hope Spy and Sniper end up in bed together, partly because I love reading smut (and I don't think I've ever read smut where a character has to seduce a reluctant or even repressed one, virtually ALL smut fics are either wonderful tender romance or rape, nothing in-between. Aggressive seduction would be really hot). But also because the consequences would be extremely interesting to see. Tl;dr: I REALLY want to read the next chapter of this fic!
I'd certainly agree that there are a lot of excuses that Spy could make for himself--some of them are pretty good excuses--but I'm a strong believer in "no means no, which still means no even if you think no isn't the right answer." Spy may very well be right in thinking that Sniper will benefit from being pestered into having sex, but that's not Spy's decision to make. The fact that Spy going ahead with all his machinations about making Sniper change his mind about denying consent, picking away little by little at Sniper's boundaries, makes the whole situation kind of rapey. And I don't see how being rapey becomes more okay just because the people involved are murdery as well. I personally think that makes it scarier. Not that I have a problem with things being scary. If I did I wouldn't I wouldn't be a fan of a game in which crazyass motherfuckers beat each other to death with mackerels. But like I said, I don't think the story has to be innocent. I'm not bringing any of these things up because I expect Anne to change the direction of her story and whitewash everything--I'm saying it because I want to be sure that Anne knows what she's writing, and is doing it on purpose. If this is what she's going for, great. In fact I'd love if it it's part of her plan because I for one happen to adore when authors tackle situations that are hard to parse with ethics. And this is a hard situation. You and I (assuming that you're the same person) could sit here and discuss this for the rest of the week and we could both make very strong arguments for Spy's actions being more bad than good or more good than bad, and neither of us will ever come up with a pristine solution--I think that's exactly what makes this story extremely interesting. Good for Anne if this all her dastardly plan. Mostly, though, I'm nervous because I've seen far more romance authors than I care to count presenting really questionable (if not outright, undeniably wretched) situations with apparently no idea that what they're writing is questionable. That's the part makes my cold, black heart skip with concern. I want to trust Anne to be fully aware of what she's doing but so many people aren't, and even though Anne is pretty damned close to perfect, she's not completely perfect, and one of the hardest parts of being an author is learning to see what others might see in your work. I figured it was worth mentioning.
The debate/concern-bringing is all fair-- I mean, none of you can read my mind (right?), so no one really knows where the story is going, and everyone's got the right to be concerned about the handling of issues in the media they consume, even if not everyone has a say in the plot of any given thing. I will say a few things up front, for those whose concerns are really strong (because I know what it's like to be reading along and to then get really worried that something is going to trigger you because of the vibe the story gets, and I really don't mean to put anyone through any panic attacks because those suck), and anyone who prefers to be surprised can just wait until I have the time to get the properly edited and formatted update and not read the following: 1) Yes, I am aware that RED Spy is being a grade A creep. Yes, RED Spy thinks that he is doing something nice for someone else. Not mutually exclusive, since everyone is the hero of his own story. 2) Yes, there will eventually be sex. Yes, that sex will be completely on Sniper's terms, not as an object for Spy, but as a person. Yes, it will take a long time and a massive paradigm shift in the way Spy views things. 3) The prompt did involve super aggressive seduction, and Spy is being super aggressive... but to those who are worried, the prompt also involved Sniper being just as aggressive in asserting himself, and he will not be letting the Spy merely get away with things, even as he figures out what he wants. (and sorry that it will be a little while again before I can give this fic the attention it deserves, my brief break is coming to an end and my schedule is going to be tight again for a couple days)
mini chapter! ---/-/--- Ch. 4- Shot Down in Flames ---/-/--- There is nothing beyond the usual, when Monday morning comes and the Spy slips into the Sniper's nest. He is gutted without ceremony, without any new frisson of heat. It galls. He returns, outside of work hours, hoping to get some satisfaction, but his opposite number is there, leaning against the wall and looking discomfited beneath a carefully practiced veneer of boredom. "There's not really anyone else I can talk to about him. I mean... I thought-- you're both spies and all..." The Sniper says, himself awkward, and the RED Spy keeps his cloak, ducks into the corner by the staircase so that he can eavesdrop. "We are very different men. As you are from your own opposite number, I might add." "You'd know all about that." He snorts, and the Spy is a little gratified at the response that gets from his counterpart. "I do not know what you are talking about." The BLU Spy sniffs. "You're fucking him. I know it. What's worse, the bloody RED Spy knows it, and he comes around throwing it at me like we ought to fuck because of it." "You do not seem to have a... strong objection?" "Not a moral objection." The Sniper shrugs uncomfortably. "I just don't... I don't need that in my life. He's more trouble than anyone's worth." The Spy decides that this is as much flattery as he's likely to get-- and in its own way, he thinks, it is flattering. "So don't. Why are you even talking to me?" The BLU Spy waves the Sniper off, before pausing to look past him, brow furrowed for a brief second before he dismisses the flicker of movement that he did not quite see. "I just... I needed to complain. And I figure you're the one bloke I know who's got absolutely no room to say anything, so... How do you put a guy like that off?" "I do not know. You could try setting his genitals on fire. Or throw piss at him, though I cannot promise he is not some kind of fetishist." The RED Spy shudders, adding to his list another reason to despise the BLU Spy. Those suggestions are just diabolical... though at least the Jarate would put out the fire... "Look." The BLU Spy pushes away from the wall, lighting a fresh cigarette. "Either fuck him, or don't. I am not invested. All right?" "If he'd treat me for one minute like I matter, I might, but he's the worst bloody arsehole I've ever met. I don't-- I don't mean I want him to love me. I definitely don't. I'm not talking about sentimental shit, I'm talking about mattering, yeah?" The RED Spy frowns. Treating him like he didn't matter? What the hell was his singleminded pursuit supposed to be? What did Australians want? Was he going to have to waylay his opposite and ask him how he managed it? "I don't know." The BLU Spy softens, though it would take a practiced eye to see it. "Mattering how?" "He's got me cast as a pawn in some weird sex game with Scout's mum-- which is a whole other can of worms, right? Says it's not cheating because she gave him permission, like I'm just sitting around waiting for him to be free to fuck. I don't sit around waiting for anyone!" He gestures angrily, and when he paces past where the RED Spy can see, he hears something being bumped, hears a glass bottle fall onto its side and roll to the edge of a makeshift table. Alcohol, he decides, explains a lot. It is easier to think about the fact that the Sniper was drinking and complaining to a teammate, than to think about the main thrust of those complaints. The Spy doesn't want to be objective, he wants to be offended. Here he was, volunteering to guide the Sniper out of his unhealthy sexual repression, willing to go at the Sniper's pace, to start with the Sniper's comfort zone and kinks, and for that, he is the asshole? He frowns, trying to shut down the little voice in the back of his skull that sounds too much like the BLU Spy for his liking, telling him it was unfair to treat the Sniper like a sex toy. He insists to himself that that simply isn't true. The Sniper had required something of an indelicate touch, that was all, a different kind of seduction, one designed to appeal to the rough side, the Sniper that enjoyed dominating him in hand to hand combat from time to time. True, it was with his lady's permission, of course it was, but he doesn't think that makes the Sniper a pawn. A bishop at the very least! Still, he has to admit, as much as he hates to, that if it was a game, he was not seeing the Sniper as a skilled opposing player, but as a piece to be won. Stewing, he lets the BLU Spy pass by, and after a while, he leaves as well, returning to his own base. Tuesday morning, he brings a single flower, folded out of soft red paper, and after stabbing the Sniper in the back, he leaves it poking out from under the man's coffee mug. His first several apologies are shredded without a second glance, but he no longer comes around and leads with seduction only to be killed. He comes to fight, and in between fights, he tries to apologize. The work week is almost up when he finally has time to talk. He is pinned beneath the Sniper, while the man growls out low threats about how slow his death will be. "Sniper, look..." He sighs, weariness written in his features, no horror or disgust at the details of his coming punishment, just a weary flatness. "Can I apologize?" "Sure." The Sniper rolls his eyes. "I wasn't hired yesterday, Spy." "I am sorry... I did not put much consideration into this... May I make it up to you?" The Sniper's kukri slams into him, missing vital organs, but only just. "No. You've got nothing I want. You can apologize... and you have done. But that's it. You don't get to 'make it up to me' with dinner, or drinks, or a fucking blowjob, or anything. Guess you can do one thing for me..." He twists the kukri, and the Spy writhes in pain. He gargles something out, but words do not form. "No worries, mate." The Sniper's grin is cold. "I'm ready to move on if you are." The Spy isn't. He has a need to prove that he can get it right, one he doesn't know how to reconcile with the way things are and have been, with the idea that the Sniper has viewed him as some callous monster, interested only in an orgasm and a dirty story to take home. With the idea that the Sniper wasn't entirely wrong, no matter how nicely he dressed it up. He could abandon this plan and find someone else, even if it took time to, but he won't. It is too much like defeat. Still... as the world gets dimmer and colder, he wonders if admitting defeat is really the only way out.
If a fanfic triggers you or causes you to have a panic attack, then maybe you need to get put through that experience.
>>33 If you think someone needs to go through a triggering experience or a panic attack, then maybe you need to get off the internet for a bit and reevaluate your views on life. Consider, for example, not being a huge dick.
I liked this chapter a lot. It definitely clears up the issues. >>33 Triggers and things like PTSD aren't something you can just easily "get over" with exposure therapy, or whatever weird crap you're trying to advocate here. I know you're trying to be edgy or whatever, but you just look uneducated. Sorry that the commenters are taking over your fic, Anne.
This chapter was great! I love your work Anne!
I love the chemistry between the Spy and the Sniper. Can't wait to see what the Spy will think up next.
I think it's more appropriate and apt to say that if a fanfic gives you a panick attack then you would probably benefit greatly from some profession councilling.
>>38 Whether or not it's apt, it is not appropriate to comment on someone's mental health that way! You don't know the other person's life, for starters-- a lot of people who suffer from panic attacks are already benefiting from counseling, or are not lucky enough to have access to it. Personally, I suffer from panic attacks-- some have triggers that I can reasonably be expected to avoid, and if I sense early on that a story might set me off, I stop reading (and if I am lucky and it's fanfic, I can talk to the author and might get confirmation one way or another). However, sometimes I cannot foresee any triggers, or even find one in retrospect, because anxiety and panic disorders aren't a neat little thing that an armchair psychiatrist can put in a box. Sometimes they are debilitating. That's all I have to say on the subject right now, but I would really, really appreciate it if no one bashed people in this thread for having panic/anxiety issues, especially if they know their triggers and are able to politely articulate what their potential issues might be. Thanks, and sorry to come back to the thread just to get on my soapbox. Next time I'll bring a chapter, and I really don't mean to be rude to anyone, but anxiety disorders are kind of one of my hot-button issues, because absolutely no one should be forced to 'suck it up' when they live under the threat of an uncontrollable panic monster that lives in your chest and eats your ability to function. So, again, sorry, I don't mean to jump on anon 38 PERSONALLY, I just had to address the fact that that particular sentiment was not okay in my book, because I would feel like a heel if I let that slide when I know I struggle with panic and anxiety myself.
So...is this finished?
>>40 No, sorry for the confusion! My writing time is really limited right now, so the updates are few and far between (and it doesn't help that I sometimes get sidetracked by other things), I just happened to check into the thread between having ready chapters for once and wound up going off on a tear. There is more coming, though.
You were nicer than I would have been to anon 38, Anne.
Ch. 5- Could We Start Again Please ---/-/--- On the weekend, the Sniper does not appear in town, but on Monday night, the Spy spots him wandering the field in long strides, a cigarette clamped in his teeth. "May I join you?" He asks, slipping out of the long shadows, his hands up and empty in an attempt at a peaceful gesture. The Sniper meets him with clear distrust, but only shrugs. "Free country, mate." "I want to apologize. A real apology, off the field. I went about things wrong, it seems. I thought you wanted to be pursued. I thought... We hit each other hard, you and I. I thought it would be like that, I push and you push and I push, and... I thought that was how you wanted me. To push. Like we do." He swallows, forces himself to keep eye contact, to not give into the urge to shift or fidget. Making sincere apologies is not his forte, and he feels oddly naked and wishes he could just skip the whole thing. Still... there is a voice in the back of his head that has been telling him, if he skips the apology, then he will never get anything from the Sniper but scorn. He isn't sure when it became so important to him that he get something more, and he isn't sure what it is he needs from the man, but he wants to repair the damage he's done at least. "What do you want from me, Spy?" The Sniper sighs, pulling off his hat and raking a hand back over his head, sweat spiking his hair. The Spy stops himself-- and only just-- from reaching out to smooth the places that the Sniper has left in disarray. "I want... I want you to think that, whatever I may be on the job, I am not a very bad man. Not a good one, I am not keen to be mistaken for a good one. But not all bad. You do not have to like me, exactly... and on the field, of course, you can hate me. But... Outside of work, please only think of me as someone who... who made a mistake, and did not admit it quickly enough, maybe. I thought it was all like a game, you know? That was my mistake." "No angle?" "Only what I have said. I do not want real bad blood between us... Work is work, and when it comes to work, we are... special. But it is only that, and if I cannot be in your good graces, I should at least like to go back to some kind of professional neutrality." The Sniper digests this a long moment, lips and tongue playing with his cigarette, rolling it from one corner of his mouth to the other. "Dunno what brought this on. But then, reckon I don't know what brought the whole thing on." "Can we just agree I was a fool?" The Spy braves a little smile, and thinks he catches the hint of a smirk in the Sniper's eyes. "Oh, I think I can agree to that." "As long as we are both out here enjoying the evening... may I get to know you a bit, as a man and not a game?" The Sniper shakes his head, guarded again. "There's nothing to know." "Oh, but that is never true. You could say that you like jazz, or football, or chocolate cake, and those are all things I could know about you. They are not too personal, but they still help to make you a person. I... I want to always remember now, that you are a person. I am barely one... A professional ghost. For a little while, we could just be regular people, and talk about things that do not matter too much." "Well, I don't like jazz." The Sniper shrugs. "I do. Sometimes. Sometimes I like cake, for that matter." "I've got nothing against it." He chuckles, the sound short and hard and empty. Still, when he speaks again, his voice softens just a touch. "Rather just have a biscuit, probably, if it ever comes down to a choice." The Spy nods, smiling. "All right, then." "If I find out this is you trying to get into my pants, I'll strangle you with your small intestines." "I know." He laughs. "And maybe someday I will try again anyway... but not tonight. Tonight I only want to make a little bit of peace. All right?" "All right." The Sniper nods. "For tonight, I guess I can go with a little bit of peace."
Ah, so sweet. Not as in like.. drenched-in-sugar, mindless sweet, but the type of sweetness one will taste from straight, black tea. A valid sweetness without the need for anything frothy or unnecessary amounts of sugar sprinkled into it. PTSD is what a common percentage of people endure more often than not. It is what befalls a victim of violence, and violence is becoming more and more of an issue. Here in Australia, more cases of violence are being reported. Guess what the government did in response to the spike in violence reportings? They cut the law-systems(police) budget. That is so stupid, I shall refrain from swearing. All that does is promote violence. Australia is one smart country.. I swear to bloody god.. I wish I could say I don't suffer from PTSD, but I do. I just happen to be blind to most of it and I suffer in different ways than something more recognisable. Anyway, I won't drag out what we already know. However, I finish off with a thank you. Thank you for posting this, the feedback is quite interesting to read even. I can wait patiently enough for updates.
I really love the build so far! (Yay, characterization!)