Long time lurker here decided to come out of the shadows and write something. Hopefully this catches someone's interest, but I blame no one if it doesn't. All I ask is for a little criticism so that I may be able to improve my writing. XXX There had been rumors flying around the RED base lately about strange things lurking in the sewers beneath them. No one beyond Demoman really believed these rumors, but the thought of something that may or may not have been down there certainly caught the curiosity of their scout. The runner wondered what it could be and, perhaps stupidly, decided to investigate the supposed hiding place of the thing in the sewers. The first few times Scout decided to explore the sewers he had done so in the dead of night when he was sure everyone else had gone to sleep. Armed with a flashlight and scattergun the young man searched passage after passage, but never caught even a glimpse of anything more than scrawny rats and tiny spiders. It truly was disappointing. Though after a few days of searching Scout decided to head in deeper than just the same paths he knew to take during battles. The grates that were supposed to keep the mercinaries confined to set areas of the sewers had just a tiny flaw: Scout could squeeze past the bars if he worked slowly. Of course slowly, as anyone who knew the runner would know, was not a word in the scout's dictionary. The RED tried to move as quickly as possible which earned his torso a good few bruises. After a good amount of time ticked by Scout was finally on the other side of the grate and set off to hunt down the elusive monster that may or may not have actually existed. The sewer tunnels seemed more like a maze on the blocked off side of the grates and more than once Scout seemed to get himself lost. Not only that, but he also seemed to be backtracking and running in circles. What seemed like hours later, though in reality was roughly only half an hour, Scout found a new area in the tunnels. This place was darker than the lit tunnels and the concrete floor both seemed much too narrow next to the water and looked like it was covered in a layer of slime. After slipping once and confirming that it was indeed a sort of slime on the floor the runner began to move slower. "Man... There's nothin' down here." Scout huffed to himself after slipping on a patch of slime yet again. The youth was severely disappointed to have to go back empty handed. All that searching, the bruises he had gained, and a hurt backside from falling onto the concrete were in vain. That's when something in the water caught his eyes. A strange little bundle of what appeared to be fabric, both red and blue scraps mixed together, lay nestled on the bottom of a broken pipe under the water. The pipe lay in a more shallow area of the water so Scout decided to lean over the edge of the concrete and reach his hand inside. At the first touch he could conclude that, yes, the bundle of red and blue was some sort of fabric. Digging into the fabric bundle would reveal something that felt a bit like jelly and had Scout peeling the fabric away curiously. What the runner found was hard to really see due to the rippling water around the pipe. Carefully the young man shifted his hand under the object, wrinkling his nose at the squishy feel of it, and pulled it out of the water for a better look. The object was strange to say the least. It fit almost perfectly in the palm of Scout's hand, stretching just over the tips of his fingers due to its more long oval shape, and was cream in color. Under the cream color ran a very faint blue along a good portion and over the cream coloring lay a thin layer of slime. Scout slowly stood from his kneeling position and stared at the strange object in his hands. What was it? By its outside it felt squishy, but a test squeeze proved that it was actually very solid. Confused the runner turned and began his journey back to RED's base. Perhaps Medic could figure out what he had found.
Hmmmm, I'm interested.keep going
"Yo, doc!" Sighing quietly to himself the RED medic glanced up from his clipboard- those drawings were for the notes and not just because Medic was bored, thank you- and presented a rather unimpressed expression to the young man who had barged into the infirmary. Scout looked excited, more so than usual. So Medic decided to play along with whatever the boy had coming. "Yes, Scout? Vhat is it?" Medic questioned with a bit of false curiousity. Scout didn't catch the underlying note of annoyance in the doctor's words of course. Instead he kept walking toward the other until Medic threatened to hit him with the clipboard. "Man, doc, you've gotta take a look'it this! I have no idea what it is, but I found it under the water behind the grates and-" The runner's sentence was interupted quickly by the loud smack of the clipboard being slammed down on the wooden desk behind them both. "You know you aren't allowed past zhe grates, Scout." Medic scolded with a disapproving wag of his finger in the boy's face. "It's in zhe rules. Vhy vould zhey put grates up unless zhey vanted you to stay out, hm? Zhere is no reason good enough for you to have broken zhe rules. Now vhat do you have to say for yourself?" The German's arms crossed over his chest and his stern expression demanded an explanation. With a grin Scout brought the strange object he had fished out of the water into view. "I'll say I brought you something and hope you stop bein' a grouch." Scout's words were just about ignored by the doctor as soon as the object in his hands appeared. Slowly Medic took the thing from the other's hands and began to examine it, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose for a clearer view. "Strange..." Medic mumbled to himself. "It looks like an oversized egg from some sort of octopus... But no octopus zhat I know of could get zhat big. If one vas zhat big I doubt it could survive in our sewers for long. Facinating..." Medic seemed to forget about his guest for a moment until a thought struck him. "Vas zhis zhe only one, Scout?" Scout nodded his head in confirmation. "Yeah. Only one I saw anyway. So it's some sorta egg? Weird. Can I have it back?" Medic's eyes turned back to the youth and the doctor's expression turned downward. "I don't zhink so. Vizh zhis possibly being zhe only egg ve'll ever find I'd razher not risk letting you break it. How you managed to get it back here in one piece is a miracle." he stated. Now it was Scout's turn to frown and cross his arms. "Well what're you gonna do with it? Cut it open and see what's inside?" he questioned with a huff. For a second Medic mused over the idea of breaking open the egg to find out what was inside, but then shrugged it off and shook his head. "Oh no, no. Zhere's no vay to tell if zhe embryo inside is fully developed or not. I zhink I'll just keep it for a vhile to examine it." he stated. However the doctor did have to hand the egg back to Scout in order to go searching for something to safely hold it. Thankfully, for them both, Scout stayed where he was and seemed content to run a finger over the egg's slimy surface. After a few minutes of searching Medic returned to his desk and sat a nice sized tank on the wooden surface and a few papers that got in the way. The tank was already almost full of water and a few fat goldfish swam lazily inside. Medic couldn't remember why he had bought the fish in the first place, but that really wasn't important at the time. Wandering off again to dig around in a box setting in a far corner brought the medic back with an old lab coat that had definetely seen much better days. The ratty old coat was quickly torn into long ribbons of frayed cloth and dumped into the fish tank to be formed into a sort of nest like how Scout described where the egg had been found. Scout wouldn't let Medic steal the egg from him this time when the older man tried. This irritated the German and he thought to call out for Heavy's assistance, but then the runner was dipping his hands into the tank and settling the egg down amid the scraps of fabric. "Better take care of that egg, doc. Don't crack it open or nothin'. I kinda wanna see it hatch. That'd give you somethin' to study too." With that said Scout turned and quickly left the infirmary. Medic raised a brow as the youth left. Had that been the hint of a threat in Scout's voice? Shaking his head Medic sat at his desk and tapped the glass of the tank, chuckling as the fish inside suddenly sped up and swam around chaotically. He would admit he was also curious to see if the egg would hatch in its new environment and, if it did, what sort of creature would emerge from it. With a hum of annoyance the German forced himself away from the tank and scooped his clipboard up to add another drawing on the edge of the paper. Waiting was not his strong suit. Especially when he was so curious.
It's interesting so far. The pace is nice and it's not a massive text dump. I can't really point out anything wrong with it since I'm not the greatest writer in the world. I hope to read the next installment soon.
I just realized this is in the adult section what the hell is scout gonna do to that egg but seriously, keep going, I wanna see what the egg is
Oh god o.o I think I know where this is going...
I'm really interested in whats gonna happen op, please continue.
The creature had stirred from its rest at the sound of pounding footsteps, though it wasn't worried. After living so long down in the dark winding tunnels it had learned that the dangerous men never came in very far. Certainly nowhere near its home. Though this time would be different. The footfalls became louder, closer, and it made the creature nervous. Glancing into the broken pipe just to its side fearfully the beast did its best to hastily hide the pile of fabric within by scraping a pile of the muck from the water's bottom and piling it close to the pipe. Afterwards it had to flee quickly to avoid being seen. Hearing whichever of the dangerous men had shown up, one of the younger men if the creature wasn't mistaken, only caused the beast to move farther into the tunnels. It wasn't too long before the sound of footsteps came again, but this time getting softer and further away. The creature didn't move from its hiding spot for a few minutes after the sound had faded away. For all it knew this was some sort of trick to capture it. The creature was sure it would be killed if any of those men happened to see it or its- Arriving back at its nest instantly proved something very, very wrong. There in the pipe lay the scraps of cloth, but nothing beside that. The creature's eyes grew wide and it began searching the bundle just to make sure. Turning up with only soggy fabric prompted a panicked search of the area, though still nothing important turned up. That was when rage and fear both began to set in. One of the dangerous men had stolen the creature's egg from its nest. The creature knew its egg was close to hatching. With a growl under its breath the creature began to follow the foreign scent of the human.
Oh, shit, son!! Papa (mama?) TentaSpy's going after our mercs! Please, please, continue. I'm sitting on the edge of my seat as I await the next installment.
Er, what? A man-sized, and possibly man-intelligenced, creature left its egg--that was about to hatch--unattended where any idiot could waltz in and take it? If the biology of this thing includes brooding behavior, then it would be extremely rare for both parents to leave the nest unattended--they either take turns guarding and going for food, or the parent never leave the eggs and dies protecting its young, or one parent carries the egg with (or in the case of species that give birth young, within) them. In some species, the entire extended family raises their young together and they will fight tooth and nail for any babies in peril, even if it's not their direct offspring. Why not have the attack happen just as Scout has stumbled into the creatures' territory, well away from the young? Or have the monster attack the base for no apparent reason until it's revealed that some time ago the mercs managed to steal some young by sending in a team to distract the parents while the thieves snuck in and made off with babies? Or have this "nest" be a trap to lure in the curious, and then the victim is slowly tenderized to feed the hatchlings? And yes, I'm going to judge your porn on the plausibility of Tentaspy parenting behavior, because that's what is breaking the suspension of disbelief for me.
>>10 I understand what you're saying, but in my mind since tentaspy is a fan made character there really is no right or wrong way to write anything he does or does not do. Though your comment has been making me think more about how I should be writing him so thank you. Hopefully he improves quickly and starts to seem more believeable. Since the day before when the scout had delivered the strange egg to Medic the boy had been spending far too much time in the infirmary for the German's liking. After the day's battle had ended in BLU's loss the runner had gone straight to the medic's work place and glued himself to the floor beside the water filled tank where the egg was being kept. It was uncharacteristic for the usually impatient young man to give so much of his attention to the tank and its contents especially since there was no movement to be watched. Even with nothing exciting going on Scout continued to stare at the egg within the tank as if he physically could not move his eyes. "Yo, doc! Cm'ere!" The youth suddenly yelled. The call did get the doctor up from his seat and over to the tank quickly at least and, to Medic's delight, the yell wasn't for nothing. Peeking into the tank himself the older man could see the start of a crack forming down the egg's surface. As the two continued to watch the crack continued to grow, sending smaller cracks along the egg in a spiderwebbing pattern. After a few minutes ticked by the top of the egg shell began to crumble outward and a small creature began to escape from the hole. Neither the scout nor the medic fully understood what they were now watching, but both found it interesting if not a tad disturbing. What appeared to be tiny black paws had appeared at the rim of the hole in the egg's surface which soon pulled a small form from within. Both watchers had gasped in surprise or shock at seeing the miniature spy, gasping again as the dark blue tentacles began to appear one by one. "What in the hell is that?" Scout questioned after a few silent moments. All Medic could do was shrug. "I have no idea, Scout." he answered quietly. I suppose it's just vhat it looks like. A tiny spy with tentacles." The small creature had begun swimming around its enclosure and peeking through the glass at its audience, a tiny smile on its lips. It wasn't long before the tentacled spy swam to the surface and pulled itself up to lean partially over the rim of the tank. Medic noted to himself to find a lid to place over the tank lest the creature escape. The tiny spy peered up at the scout from its perch and uttered a small sound not unlike the mew of a kitten seeking its mother's attention. Scout found the sound almost cute, though he wouldn't admit it if anyone asked. Cautiously the runner extended his hand palm up to the creature, ignoring the disapproving look the medic sent his way. Almost the instant the scout's fingertips touched the rim of the tank the tentacled spy pulled itself the rest of the way over the tank's rim and fell into Scout's open hand. "I vouldn't suggest handling it vizh your bare hands, Scout." Medic stated soon after the runner pulled his hand back to inspect the small creature on his palm more closely. "Ve don't know vhat it is or if it's dangerous. To that the scout merely rolled his eyes and continued observing the small spy thing. It really did look like a spy, but of course the difference between the two were the mass of tentacles sprouting from the tiny spy's waist. The tentacles were dark blue with a slightly lighter shade of blue on the undersides and almost white suckers. The same dark blue color formed around the creature's head in the shape of a balaclava, but at a touch Scout could tell it was just coloring on naked skin. The same was true with the dark blue spots peppering the creature's shoulders and down both arms where the color thickened to cover all the skin from the wrists down to the tips of tiny clawed fingers. The tiny spy creature sat still in the scout's hand and merely watched the runner with an interested curiosity as its tentacles weaved between the Bostonian's fingers. It hadn't been what Scout or Medic expected to see- though, really, who could have expected to see a tentacled creature that resembled one of their teammates- but it was interesting none the less.
Ooh, I can't wait for more!
Intriguing, do carry on this build up could have a wonderfull lemon at the end.The best kind of lemon is a built up to lemon!
>>13 I think I hate you a little for bumping and making it seem that there was an update.
>>14 I think I agree with you.
The creature frowned darkly as it stared at the obstacle before it. The stairs growing out of the water were the only way to get out of the sewer and into the base where the human's scent was, yet the stairs would prove dangerous. Climbing them would slow it down, tentacles not the best limbs for land. Added to the stairs was the knowledge that there wasn't going to be any water to duck into after climbing them. So this would be a race to find the right human without attracting attention from any of the others. Plus there was only so long the creature could stay out of water before its tentacles dried out to the point of causing pain at every movement. With a growling sigh the creature forced its gill slits to shut tightly against its sides and began pulling itself up the stairs. It didn't take more than a few minutes to reach the top of the stairs, but the trip up had the tentacled being stopping. The rough concrete had scraped a few of its sensative tentacles, though the resilient skin had yet to break thankfully. Hopefully this would be the only trip the creature would have to make up any stairs. After a minute long rest the beast began to move deeper into the base. Each movement it made was careful and quiet and it took every opportunity presented to it to hide behind whatever it could. Tracking a single human in this area was proving to be difficult seeing as there were so many human scents ingrained from their constant use of the hallways and the creature uttered a frustrated growl when it began to lose the scout's scent. It couldn't give up the hunt though. Not with something so important at stake. Growling again it lifted its head and took in a deep breath through slightly parted lips, drawing in an overload of scents and snatching one out of the rest with a flick of its tongue. The scent solidified in the air then and left a solid trail to follow. The creature was off with a new found speed to track the scent. Perhaps it was a bit too bad for the beast that its still wet tentacles were leaving a slick trail on the floor behind it and now someone else was on the hunt.
I'm glad to see an update. But as you where describing Tentaspy's not so glorious trip up a flight of concrete stair (and this could totally just be me,) I had to keep reminding myself that you were not talking about a jellyfish. And I would have liked to have known the difference in ground texture when Ma/Pa Tentaspy finally made it at the top. Was it smooth? Rough? Wood? More concrete? Splinters? Dirt clinging along its' tentacles because of the slime it produces? I know it jjust little nit-picky things I'm pointing out here and it's probably a "go-figure" thing but I enjoy stories far more when I can read what the auhor thinks of certain situations and what the surrounding enviorment looks like . I look forward to your next installment.