1 . Name: Lizifer @ 2013-01-14 15:05

Alright, so I thought I'd try my hand at producing a fan fiction that included female characters without stepping into those outrageous OC's we've come to know as Mary Sues. I havn't written any fan fiction is years, so bear with me. Also, Criticism is HIGHLY encouraged. How am I suppose to know my fic sucked if you people don't tell me. How can I fix it or change it around to suit your needs if you dont tell me? I'm also allowing YOU GUYS TO CHOOSE THE PAIRINGS of what you'd like to see. I'm using the most basic fanart I can find of the female versions of the class's we've all come to love (some of us in an unhealthy way?)

---Chapter Uno---

It had been a rather awkward day at the compound the team had come to know as Well. The compound, mostly known for its supply train that provided the imports needed from Mann.Co to continue the tiff the teams of mercenaries were involved in. One side of the compound was used to take the goods to team Red, and likewise the opposite for Team Blu. Most members of the teams would take turns to help take the supplies off the train, load them up and take them back to each base.
This day, however, all the team members had been asked to attend when the train was to arrive. Some of the team members from each side were being sent home, and were told that new members would be arriving on the compound for an 'experiment' that Mann.Co had asked R.E.D and B.L.U to run for continued supply of goods.

“You know why I aint being sent home dontcha?” Said a Blue Scout, catching his counterpart across the tracks holding a suitcase. “Cause I run circles around you old bastards. Guess I'm the best if I'm staying, right?”
There was a small click as the Blue Spy lit one of his cigarettes. He eyed the Scout unsure if he was talking to himself, or if his one sided conversation was to insult him. The Blue Spy looked down to his own rolling suitcase and attached briefcase. He was informed that they would be returning after Mann.Co had performed their experiment. The war being put on hold for him and a few others of his colleagues. He would of liked to stay and seen this 'experiment' played out. Word was that Saxton Hale had created the experiment and threaten R.E.D and B.L.U To discontinue supplying goods if they wouldn’t allow their mercenaries to be the test subjects. Along with other threats about punching them so hard that the machines they were attached to would created a black hole and suck in all their world possessions, before he wrestled the black holes to the ground himself and use them as a new and powerful weapon to destroy all the patchouli fields, thus not allowing hippies to have their favoured scent.
He flicked his cigarette to the ground, letting it burn itself out. Reaching into his pocket he removed a folded up letter to double check its readings.


--Dear Mercenary Number: SPY004--

We at B.L.U.E thank you for your continued efforts against our foe. Surely your skills are placed at great use in the war and we shall come out of it victorious.
However,
Due to the request of our dear supplier and friend to the B.L-U SAXTON HALE. THE GREATEST EXAMPLE OF ALPHA AND MANHOOD TO EVER COME OUT OF AUSTRALIA. YOU ARE BEING SENT ON A VACATION UNTIL YOU ARE SUMMONED TO THE MANS FIELD OF HONOUR. SAXTON HALE HAS COME UP, WITH HIS GENIUS BRAIN THAT HAS ITS OWN MUSCLES, A PLAN SO MAGNIFICANT THAT WE ARE GOING STRAIGHT TO HUMAN TRIALS. AND YOU BETTER TYPE THAT ALL IN CAPS TO GET THE POINT ACROSS. YES LEAVE THAT PART IN TOO. I WANT THEM TO KNOW THAT IF THEY DONT AGREE TO IT I WILL PUNCH THEM SO HARD THEIR GRANCHILDREN WILL NEED DENTURE WORK

This letter has been signed by
SAXTON HALE


“Merde, 'e could of been a 'bit more discreet about 'sit” The Spy said to himself. But when was Saxton Hale ever discreet?
He loaded his things onto the train, looking over to see the Demoman from his team already drunk to the point of nearly passing out. It could of been the fact that they were on vacation and he'd have to be nearly sober to perform in battle, or the fact that he felt he was unworthy of Saxtons experiment the Spy didn’t know. He slipped over and grabbed the opened bottle of scrumpy, unsure where the cap was, or if it was even kept around, not that it mattered. He brought it back to his seat and held it up almost like toasting the compounds
“Au Revoir, I shall return” he said, taking a straight shot from the bottle.



--The Previous Day--

“ADMINISTRATOR” Saxton yelled, pushing a set of french doors open so hard they embedded in the walls behind them. He walked up alongside the Administrator looking out his office window the the site below them.
“Hippies. WHY ARE THERE HIPPIES OUTSIDE MY OFFICE?!” He nearly screamed. The veins on his neck were throbbing, the rage showing across his whole face and torso.

“Well you see Sir, those are a different race of hippies. They are feminists.” The Administrator said. She was looking out the windows all morning, watching the events unfold since the first female showed up with signs and was then joined by dozens more.
“They seem to be upset with the lack of female workers in MANN.CO”

“FEMINISTS?! But I cannot defeat these Feminist. They all seem to have some type of shield around them that my manly feats cannot penetrate. But how?” Saxton seemed to be calming down. Watching his enemy below him, trying to figure out what about the mob that stopped him so.

“Perhaps your code of honor rejects the idea of hitting a woman?” The Admin said, raising an eyebrow to the gigantic man that stood beside her.

“BY MYSELF ITS TRUE.” Saxton stood back, like a wave of information had hit him at once.
“They have found my weakness. Now they send women to preach their 'Peace and Love' knowing I am unable to give them a good thwacking!”

How thick could this man be? What rock had be been living under to think that women were always barefoot and pregnant in a kitchen and not out gaining a career. She herself was a female and stood shoulder to shoulder with some of the worlds most profitable business men. Heck, women were even on the internet.

“Well, Sir, I myself am a female.” She said
Saxton stared for a moment.
“Yes well, I always thought it good to hire a few of the disabled into the company.” He said.

“Disabled? You believe being a woman is a sign of disability?” The Administrator felt her eye twitch.

“Of course. Women are gentle things. They cannot stand up in a mans world. Women are incapable of killing bears, hammering nails or photocopying.” Saxton seemed sure of himself.

“Is that so? I happen to photocopy all the time in my job.” She said. The fury behind her eyes increased. Almost wishing to leave his office now and join those below them on the picket line.

“Well, You know what I mean. You are one of those success stories, like Lance Armstrong and Terry Fox.”

“Terry Fox was not born with a disability, he lost his leg to cancer. You seem so sure that women are incapable of such menial work. I can assure you that we are able to perform any task a man can, if not better.” she said, walking over to the office coffee maker to pour herself a mug. The caffeine would not help her calm down but the act of getting her away from this blow hard did its job.

“Ha! Perhaps we can make a bargain! I will bring in some of the fair sex to use some of the weapons made by MANN CO. If they cannot meet up to par then you shall join me in my next dragon hunt this summer.”

“Dragon hunt- Well, I guess I would ask that you consider hiring the females for a permanent employment if these girls are up to the task. Of course, I will oversee the hiring of these girls. In the meantime, I have a challenge for you.” She smirked.

“A CHALLENGE?! HA I WILL CRUSH YOUR CHALLENGE LIKE I CRUSH MY ENEMIES SKULLS BETWEEN MY TOES.” Saxton yelled, fist thrusting high into the air above his head.

The Administrator pulled out a plastic container labelled “COFFEE”, and a stack of filters and placed them beside the coffee maker. She turned to Saxton with a leer.

“The women you DO employ seem to make a living making coffee all day. I'd like to see you make a pot, without any help.”

“HAHA THAT'S EASY. You go ahead and hire your girls. 'Ave those Red and Blu bastards run an experiment. COFFEE MAKER MAKE ME A POT NOW” Saxton approached the machine, yelling his command at it.

“That's not going to-”

“YOU SAID NO HELP. COFFEE MAKER IF YOU KNOW WHATS GOOD FOR YOU, YOU'LL MAKE ME A POT NOW”

“Amazing how a man so thick could be so rich and powerful” the administrator told herself, walking down the hall. She knew that when they had been going through the classes for the mercenaries many female names were brought up that had applied. She had to find those applications and see how many of those girls still had the skills needed for her to win this wager. Going Dragon Hunting with Saxton Hale sounded dangerous, childish and unproductive.
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Let me know where I fucked up. Also, don't forget to tell me what pairings you'd like to see in this fic. Gunna build up to the sex, once the ball starts rolling. Sex, then I plan to kill off some people. Cause all good stories have death as far as I'm concerned. Dead Female Scout x Medic? Gang Bang of Female Spy? Who knows..