Okay, hi all! This is my first fic, planned to be chaptered. I know Medic's accent is pretty sucky, and I just read something else that should help me for the next installment... mind you, this fic is more light-hearted. Obviously if I were being more 'realistic' I wouldn't have made everyone gay, haha. Buuut, yeah. Comments & crit appreciated, love love love P.s. I wrote this blurb & chapter on my phone, so sorry for typos ... --------------Chapter 1----------------- During his sometimes overly extensive physical and mental examinations of his teammates, Medic had stumbled upon a very interesting pattern. Failing to recognize it before sitting at his desk after hours, he smacked his forhead. It seemed so clear! The first time, he had said it jokingly. "Are you sexually active, Herr Engineer?" "In general, yeah," he said, lowering his head a bit. Engineer was a very modest little man. "Oh no, I meant here, in zis building full of men!" Medic laughed, wiping at his eyes. But the man sitting on the examination table was not so amused. "Well... ain't doctors supposed to have to folow the Hippocratic Oath?" Engineer looked up at Medic. "Erm... yes, I suppose most doctors do subscribe to zat, zat silly relic." He mumbled the last bit under his breath. Evidently Engie hadn't heard him. "Well, doc, I figure, since yer in charge of our health 'n' all," he swallowed, looked away, "that I have been 'sexually active' here in Twofort..." Both of the men seemed equally embarassed. There were no women in the fort, except for the Administrator (ick), Miss Pauling (probably lesbian), and maybe Pyro (but probably not). "So, who is it?" The doctor accidentally asked. "Do I have to tell you? Maybe you can geddit outta him when he comes down here... we all done for today, doc?" Engineer slid off the examination table. He sure as hell was. The doctor allowed him to leave, not pushing the man any further unless he wanted a wrench to the solar plexus. Over the course of a few days, a few such similar cases erupted. Men admitting homosexual tendencies with their teammates... yet everyone refusing to rat each other out. Medic attributed this homosexual outbreak in otherwise comepletely heterosexual men to the close proximity to other men and the virtual lack of women. That was pretty obvious. Stuck in this damned place for months at a time, people were going to get bored. As for figuring out who was screwing whom, a blessing came in the form of the Scout. "An' so I sez, no, you can't put in my fucking ass, you homo," he said, swinging his legs excitedly on the examining table. "An' he sez, 'no don't worry it es not gay if ze balls do not touch hon hon hon' and so he fucks me in the ass! Can you believe it?" "Honestly, I can." "I can't. I mean why would Spy want to fuck me in the ass? He could probably..." Scout realized there were only men on the team. "... wank or something? I mean, gross. It was hot as FUCK but still fuckin' gross." More interestingly, as the weeks passed, some of the men even admitting to loving their partners. Sitting at his desk covered in notes, Medic was pulling his hair out over the whole situation. Why was this occuring? The sex had been easy enough to understand... but how come men with wives, ex-wives, girlfriends and plethoras of ex-girlfriends are now finding deep companionship in men? Medic hypothesised that it was the physical sex plus the pre-existing friendships between men that made them, mistakingly, believe they loved one another. They had the intimacy and passion, but no commitment. Although Medic loved the sight of blood and expoaed bone, he would not be too happy to see oozing warts on the genitals and mouths of his teammates. He decided to put in a request for condoms, which surprisingly was granted without question. A large, brown box now sat ominously in his room. With everyone around him having sex, he began to feel a little left out. "Pah," he didn't need sex. The battlefield was sex. Healing others was foreplay and taking his bone saw to a Spy's back was rugged intercourse. Oh, that lovely feeling of metal on flesh... better than orgasm. The sight of the lifeblood spilling out of his victim... priceless. Now, during his daily routines, he found himself asking more and more. While sewing up Soldier's leg, he might ask, "Vhat position do you prefer? Hm? Oh yes, very interesting, Herr Soldier..." and he would make a mental note to write what the response down. While pulling a slug out of the sniper's shoulder, "Do you 'play rough' in ze bed? Be sure not to mix your blood vis ze blood of your partner." He also insists all of his patients take enough condoms to last them until next visit. Some, like little Engie, take just one or two in shyness; Scout took an armload, shamelessly. When he offered condoms to Heavy, who had been silent about any lovers he might have, Heavy refused. "I am not having the gay sexing, Doktor," Heavy said, pushing away the laminated rubber. Medic tossed it back into the box. "Fine, but ven you break down like everybody else, I vill be vaiting for you." Medic pulled off his gloves with a SNAP, SNAP and sat down at his desk. Reviewing his notes, Medic realized that Heavy and Pyro were the only ones not to admit to having sexual contact. "Heavy," Medic said, turning to face the man. The bulky Russian was lingering in the office as he sometimes did, doing nothing in particular. Although Medic followed Heavy on the field, Heavy seemed to follow him everywhere else. "Have you and Herr Pyro..." he trailed off, not sure how to finish. "Niet, absolutely no. I am not sexing with the crazy leetle man." Heavy said quite matter-of-factly, shaking off the accusation. "I tell doktor: I am not having of the gay!" "Okay, Herr Heavy... Tomorrow, as you know, I must check on your organs again." The UberCharge-compatible heart he had installed in Heavy was fragile, despite it's appearance. He had to do occasional check-ups to assure everying was in working order. Heavy said nothing in response. He got up and faced the seated doctor, extending his massive arms. "I see you then, Doktor." He wrapped himself around the Medic, nearly crushing him. "Okay, Heavy, sleep well," Medic pushed the large man off of him.
Folow=follow And Expoaed=exposed
I don't get it. If the guys are only having sex with each other, and Medic has examined them and knows the team doesn't have any STDs, why would he worry about the team catching STDs?
Because ... HIV I guess? I mean he probably wasn't provided equipment for testing it. Shh Also, god knows where Spy has been and where he goes when he's not fighting
I guess it's a bit of oversight. I wrote this at 8 am haha
Since you’re new here, I want to offer you some honest advice. This isn’t meant as criticism, but I do hope you’ll take it to heart. 1. In the words of Lord Chesterfield that old porn story by TeratoMarty, everything worth doing is worth doing right. This includes writing. Do not write a story on your phone and post it online without running it through a text programme with a spell-checker first. There are many typos in your story that a spell-checker would’ve found. Or better yet, get a beta-reader to look over your story before posting it. Not doing this is insulting to your readers (you’ll notice it was the first thing picked up on too) and it sends the message that you don’t care about your story—then why should we invest time in reading it? 2. Formatting. The number one formatting rule for online literature is: Always make a double line-break between paragraphs. You only use a double line break when jumping in time; use a symbol to mark each subpart instead (many use the asterisk, *). 3. Accents. Don’t use them if you don’t know how. Better yet, don’t use them at all. Published authors almost never write out their characters’ accents for a reason. We know Medic is German, we know how he sounds when speaking. Just write plain text; if you manage to get his characterisation right, your readers will add his accent in their minds. 4. Actions. Descriptions. Everything not dialogue. Your story lacks them. Notice how every line starts with a quotation mark? You need to vary your writing more, add in descriptions of the scene, the characters, their actions, their thoughts. Your story is a picked-clean skeleton as it reads now; it needs to be fluffed out, made palatable! The first time, he had said it jokingly. It was on the form after all, another bullet point on the mandatory check-up list provided by the company. Medic filled it out meticulously each month, ticking off boxes, noting down symptoms, test results, ideas for future experiments in the margins. The questions changed sometimes, hinting at specific interests, but this, this made his eyebrows rise. “Are you sexually active, Herr Engineer?†He couldn’t help the tone of amusement; the man had a daughter back home, for God’s sake. Engineer coughed. “In general, yeah,†he said, lowering his head a bit. Medic’s pen stopped scratching across the pre-printed sheet. Engineer was a very modest little man, private like a preacher’s daughter about his personal life. His workshop calendars had all come free in shipments from machine part manufacturers and featured wrenches, not women. He never commented on Miss Pauling like Scout or boasted of his conquests like Spy. Of course the question would embarrass him. But the way Engineer kept looking down, refusing to meet his eyes, made Medic pause. “Oh no, I meant here,†Medic said. Engineer didn’t look up, staring fixedly at his hands. They were clasped in his lap like in prayer, the knuckles turning white. “In this building.†A suspicion was forming in Medic’s mind, too absurd to be true, but Engineer still didn’t reply. “Full of men.†It was dangerous grounds, he knew. Men had been killed for insinuating less, and Medic made sure to laugh, wiping at his eyes for show. But the man sitting on the examination table was not so amused. See what I mean? Good luck on your future writing endeavours—I hope you’ll keep at it, since only practise makes perfect. Just please keep my advice in mind for when you do.
thank you cyan :) Captcha: says ooWhel
>>4 HIV wasn't even a concern until the 1980's when it became an epidemic. 1981 was when it was first observed in the United States, though it may have been in the US as early as 1966. Of course back then nobody even knew what it was, so... yeah.
Well i think we've all agreed this is really shitty, so it's a moot point
Magical non anon dropping in to say its not shitty. It could use some work but every story could. One thing I've learned in my mostly anonymous time here on the chan is improvement is held above all else. I actually love the idea behind this story. I hope you don't give up on this one yet. Trust me, you're doing fine.
Thank you, Japan. I think I will revisit the idea in a hopefully more thought out fic. I actually have found a beta reader, yay!