(AUTHORS NOTE) This is my first TF2 fan fiction, I've been working on this for a few months now though annnnnd I had this piece sitting in the workshop for a bit hoping I could get some opinions but alas, it sits untouched. I did some editing of my own, but if I missed anything I'd be happy to hear your criticism. Just make it justified. I can't seem to stress that enough. What I mean by justified is if you don't like it say what it is that you don't like and why. So I know. So I can improve. This is a work in progress, I'm planning on making this more than just a one-shot. It's done in the perspectives of Scout and Medic, just thought it'd be an interesting challenge (for me to write anyway). Also, I know enough German to be able to get me around the country without starving, but my sentence structure sucks. If my German is truly painful and you could edit it, I'd be eternally grateful. Oh, and I guess on and IMPORTANT NOTE: this is going to get gory. Not right away, but yes, there's gonna be blood, guts and semen. If you dislike stories of that nature, hit back quick! So... who is ready to see what happens when Scout tries to top our German friend? (I must admit I'm really nervous hitting the submit button, haha) ----------------------------------------- ...Where did that idea come from!? Ahh... Right... It had started with just a fleeting thought. One of those thoughts that cross your mind seemingly out of no-fucking-where and before you know it, you're considering entertaining such... notions. I tried to shove those thoughts far, far away into the small corners of my mind. Obviously with no success, for if I had been successful they would have stayed in that corner. Well, really, who could blame me? We're talking about the Medic here! Don't buy it? Neither should I. And just when I talk myself out of... Well... Let's just say, each time that Doctor speaks, his accent makes thinking of anything else extremely difficult. Goddamned fucker. I hope he chokes on his sauerkraut. So I guess that places me back on square one then. I'm horny. Medic is driving me crazy, like literally fucking crazy with his (dare I even say it)... sexiness. There's only one thing I can really do. Fuck Medic. Literally. Fuck. Fucking Fuck. Fuck. There. I fucking said it. --- I stalk over to the infirmary once everyone is sound asleep. Well, everyone save for Medic. He is always the last one to crash, always babying his doves and test papers. That one dove though... Archimedes... Yeahhh... I rub my chest subconsciously, recalling that terrifying memory, shaking my head; that motherfucking bird can go drop dead. Once I reach the doors to the infirmary my heart picks up a couple paces. I look through the window in the door and see Medic's back as he scribbles notes on papers, muttering incoherently to himself. He is so vulnerable right now, not knowing anything about what I'm about to do... What I'm going to make him do. This is going to be a lot of fun. I lick my lips and rub them together while I crack the door open enough for me to squeeze through. I see his doves all lined up on the shelf above his desk, cooing and watching him work. I just hope to Ma that they don't hear me coming. I can bank on Medic's hearing not being so keen, considering his elderly age and all, but those birds... They're out to get me, I swear. “Nein, nein, das ist nicht gut. Scheiße. Archimedes, du mischte sich mit meiner Arbeit, nicht wahr?†The Medic sighed and leaned back in his chair, removing his glasses to rub his eyes and give a stretch. One of his doves, I assumed it was Archimedes, flew down onto his shoulder and cooed in his ear, cocking his head. Medic gave the bird a soft pat on the head, dismissing it, so it flew off to re-join the rest of the heard of turd. What did he like so much about birds, anyways? I leaned against the wall directly behind Medic, crossing my arms in front of me, getting comfortable. I watched as he yawned, stretching again and removing his white doctor's jacket. He folded it neatly and set it next to his pile of reports. I watched him intently, yes, completely aware of my creepiness. But I needed to wait for the perfect moment to approach him. I wanted him comfortable, drowsy, but not too relaxed. I figured I'd wait for him to loosen his red tie. Whenever that would be. It felt like an hour before I had the chance to seize my opportunity. His doves were comfortably asleep in the dim light; Ma told me birds had poor sight in dim light, but their hearing was very keen. Which meant I would still have to be careful not to alarm them before I had the opportunity to surprise Medic. I inched up a bit closer to him, anticipation lingering in my lower regions. I reached a shaky hand out to Medic's shoulder, hesitating just a moment before following through. I rested my hand upon his shoulder gently, feeling him jump out of surprise, “Was-†he shouted, turning his head to face me. I took this moment to bring my face closer to his, our noses only inches apart, my breath short and nervous. “Wha' Doc? It's jus' me.†I said darkly, trying to take control of the situation. I figure if he could be dominant and sinister with those syringes, saws and scalpels of his, then I could be seductive and dominant with the very thing he liked to cut up and poke at all of the fucking time. My hand tightened on the Medic's shoulder as I looked into his blue eyes, “Thought I'd drop by and see how everything was going.†He paused, confusion replacing his startled expression so I reached my lips over to his ear, twisting my body so that the only thing touching him was my hand and soon to be my lips. I could smell his spicy aftershave still clinging to his skin as I softly brushed my nose on his jaw line, reaching my lips to his ear again to whisper, “Actually... Thought I'd drop on by and...†without finishing my sentence I licked the perimeter of his ear, taking his lobe between my teeth and giving it a tug. I could feel his body tense at my affection, I could hear him swallow nervously before clearing his throat. “Herr Scout,†He tried to swivel his chair away from me, being blocked by his arm rests and my body. He cleared his throat. I was making him feel uncomfortable. I couldn't help but smile deviously as he failed to escape his chair. Medic could easily overpower me if he wanted to, his body was, after all, a lot larger then mine. I'd have to do something about that later. For the time being however, I decided to close the gap between us so I straddled him, slowly crawling my fingers up his chest, unbuttoning his dress shirt. “You know Doc, I've always wondered what you looked like under all your fancy clothes. It's only fair, considering the countless times you've seen my naked ass.†Medic swatted away my fingers, and started his composed explanation about what I was doing “Scout, I understand zat it gets qvite lonely during zis var sometimes...†I grabbed his tie, playing with the silk fabric, looking at Medic through my lashes, slightly grinding against him to an imaginary beat, ignoring his speech. “You just need to chill, Doc. Trust me. Just let me,†He started to shake his head and attempted to get up again, so I put my hands forcefully on his chest. “Nuh-uh. I don't think so,†I grabbed his tie again, tightening it for him, licking my lips, “You're going to do exactly,†I tightened his tie some more, “What I say...†I sported a sinister grin, looking into his unsettled eyes, “When I say it.†I wrapped his tie around my bandaged hands a couple times for security. “Do I make myself clear?†I yanked the tie towards my chest with all my force, bringing the Medic's body forward with it. I lingered my lips over his for a moment, wanting to taste his lips on mine. “Kiss me.†I said, tightening his tie once more to make it clear he was at my mercy. “Scout-†Medic said, a bit annoyed. “-Nah!†I cut him off. “I said kiss me dammit. SO fucking KISS me.†I gripped his shirt with my fist and glared into his eyes. I was going to get my kiss. God fucking dammit. I watched the Medic close his eyes and take a deep breath, clearly sorting a few things out in his mind. I let him have his thoughts for a moment, letting the suspense build, letting my needs fester. I knew the Medic has been just as lonely as I have been. Even with his flock of doves. He just got his kicks and release from slicing and dicing any poor bastard who needed medical attention. Well, I need my kicks too. Actually, I need more then just kicks. I need a nice damned fuck. A sly smile skirted across Medic's face which broke me out of my reverie. Why was he smiling? Before I had the chance to ponder his sudden change in expression, one of his hands reached over to remove my baseball cap and he let it fall to the floor, setting my hat head on display, his hand finding a resting spot on the back of my neck. His other hand made its sneaky way under my shirt, to the middle of my back, the Medic's rough hands playing with the bumps my spine made. I felt goosebumps and shivers travel around my body as he lightly massaged my back and I closed my eyes for a moment, soaking up the attention. It was when my eyes were shut that I felt a soft pair of lips upon my own. The others lips were unsure at first, so I deepened the kiss and found the same amount of passion and desire reflected back at me. I opened my eyes a bit to look at the Medic, finding him with his own eyes closed, his cheeks flushed. This made me smile and I pushed him back against the chair, breaking the kiss. I proceeded to let loose his tie, deciding he should be allowed to breathe with ease again. “See what happens when you listen to me, Doc?†I chuckled as I continued to unbutton his vest and then his dress shirt. He let me, leaning back submissively, removing his glasses and swinging them around with his hand. “Vell, I just hope zat you know vat you are doing, Scout.†He gave me a dark look, but it was seductive. It made me a bit uneasy, but I was the one on top. He knew that. I wasn't strapped to his operating table, no, not this time. He casually placed his glasses in the pocket of his shirt I was unbuttoning. Once I finished unbuttoning his shirt, I gave him a good once over. The Medic had an aged, yet toned figure, a patch of dark hairs claiming territory on his chest. I plucked a couple of his hairs, carefully watching the Medic's reaction. “Scheiße!†Medic jolted at the sudden pain and I tweezed another bunch. He jumped again. Laughing, I said, “Well, are ya just goin' to sit there an' take it, Doc?†I plucked some more. The Medic uttered a growl, my taunts working almost too well. “Einfach warten, bis ich dich unter dem Messer, Herr Scout,†he threatened. I think anyways. It sounded awfully threatening. I swallowed my nerves, replacing it with a coy smile, raising my eyebrow. “Soooo,†I toyed with my dog tags around my neck absentmindedly, “In English, does that mean ya want me, Doctor?†I ran my hands down his torso, hooking a couple fingers under the top of his pants. “Cuz that could be arranged...†I leaned forward and began to sensuously kiss his neck, slowly at first, to get him to relax, and once I felt his tension ease I continued the ministrations more heatedly. I ran my tongue up his jugular, feeling his breath catch as I carried the affection to his ear. He pulled my body closer to his, my hands relocating to his neck, his hands finding comfort on my ass. “In vant you in mehr zen vun vay.†He said breathlessly and I could feel his arousal through my pants. Our lips eventually met again in a much more heated lock then the first time. His tongue requesting entrance to my mouth, which I gladly obliged. I wanted to get Medic as hot and bothered as my own needs would allow. I wanted to see him sweat, to beg for release. To get back at him for all the times he took longer than necessary to stitch me up, used his experimental drugs on me which left me either retching or horny, and pointedly made fun of my lack of pain tolerance. It makes me curious to know how far the doctor can go, how tolerant he could be, how in control of his own functions he really was. My hand took a clump of his hair and I yanked it back, letting Medic voice his discontent with a grunt, and I smiled down at him. I could feel my face heat up as our eyes locked. His clear blue eyes glaring with lust, my own most likely telling him the same thing. How was it that it took so goddamned long for me to notice how... strikingly... ruggedly... handsome Medic was? I'd go on about all his defining features and how they make me feel, but really, what's more to say then the fat boner tenting in my pants from just making out and locking gazes with him? “Tell me you want me†I whisper to him seductively, “What it is that you want from me.†I hover my lips over his, waiting for his answer. The Medic tried to kiss my lips, but I pulled my head back quick enough to deflect him, “Tell me Doc, say what it is that you want me to fix for you.†I trail a single finger down the middle of his chest to his pants, tapping playfully on the single button, my eyes never leaving his. The tension before his reply could have killed me, just the fact that I was in control for once nearly made me cum. Right here. Right now. Fuck. I considered the Medic for a moment, to distract my thoughts without completely killing my buzz. He really wasn't use to being on the bottom, was he. I imagine he would naturally be the one to tauntingly talk to his lover. Heh, well, so far he was being a pretty good little sub. I'd have to reward him for his good behaviour. “I vant you...†He chocked on his words, clearing his throat, face turning bright red. “And how do you want me?†I kissed around his lips, on his nose, cheeks. Anywhere except directly on his lips, savouring the Medic's reaction. “Vell, for starters, I vant you to just kiss mich!†He grabbed my head in his hands and mushed my face against his, our lips inevitably meeting. The Medic's kiss was aggressive, biting my lips and forcing his tongue inside my mouth. I couldn't help but smile through the kiss, his flustered behaviour so amusing. I broke the kiss, something I was becoming fairly good at, “And you were being so good-†“-Zen...†The Medic interrupted, softly caressing my cheek, “I vant mein Schwanz thrusting into your tight Arsch.†He had a very primal look in his eyes. I didn't understand the exact words of his German, obviously, but I definitely got the picture. So he wanted to be the one on top? I considered this for a moment, as the Medic seethed in longing. A smile crept on my face and I nodded, approving of the possibilities. It'd be a fun challenge for dominance, that is for sure. Medic must have noticed my hesitation because he lunged forward, lifting us both off the chair. I could hear the office chair roll backwards and hit the wall as the Medic pushed me onto his desk, sitting my ass next to his pile of reports. Fucking hell. There was nothing I could do. I should have anticipated his strength, I know it crossed my mind at one point, but seriously. Why didn't I actually do something about it!? Fuck it. I'll cry about that later, right now I've gotta focus. Once I got my barrings straight, I noticed Medic had re-buttoned his shirt and vest and was just fixing his tie when I swatted his hands away, “Seriously? We can't fuck when you're fully clothed man!†And I was greeted with an equally astonishing response. “I don't see zhe point in getting myself all dirtied for a simple procedure, Herr Scout.†His eyes were cold and merciless. 'Simple'... I mulled that over... “Simple...†I choked out, WHAT DID HE MEAN BY SIMPLE PROCEDURE, I was outraged, “I'm not a fucking simple procedure! What is this, another medical examination for you!?†The Medic smiled, his teeth peeling across his face. He didn't have to reply for me to know what was going to happen next. A flash of light off to the side caught my eye and I noticed the shiny... sharp... Oh dear, sweet, god loving Jesus... He had a needle in his hand... It must have been laying around near by... Before I had the chance to get the fuck off the desk, his hands enclosed around me and I felt the sudden sting of the needle poke at my neck... The Medic's maniacal laughter filled my head and I began to fade into unconsciousness... The last thing I saw was Medic smiling down at me with his fucking bird Archimedes perched on his shoulder...
(AN) I guess I should say: Each post is going to switch perspectives. Hope that doesn't get too annoying. (You know, I was told I should translate all of Medics thought's and actions into German. I'd be such a troll, hahahaha. But I figure Medic understands his thoughts clearly and we're trying to understand his, so it makes sense that only his dialogue is in accented form. That, and it would take me eons to translate and I'm just too fucking lazy for that right now) ------------------------------ “Ach, Scout, vat am I evar going to do viz you?†I mutter to myself, taking my glasses out of my patch pocket, shining them with the bottom of my shirt and setting them back on my face. The world was back into focus. I liked that. I don't bother stifling my laughter as Scout's eyes glaze over as he fades of into unconsciousness. I had given him an injection of an anaesthetic I had created about a week ago. Quite fortunate of me to have been recording my different anaesthetic drug results from the course of the week, casually filling some syringes between filling reports. I tucked away a couple in my desk should I ever need them, never thought I would have needed one so soon. It would take just over an hour for the its effects to wear off. That would give me plenty of time to set up. After picking up his hat from the ground, giddy with anticipation, I scoop Scout up and carry him to the operating table. I hum as I lay him down, casually removing his red T-shirt from his body, his limbs flopping easily at my will, compliantly. So contradictory to Scout's nature. I must admit, he has this fire within his soul, a stubbornness about him, that I can't help but be drawn too. Of course a submissive and agreeable patient is always pleasant... But one that puts up a fight... I sigh, folding Scout's shirt, placing it next to his baseball cap. The fight is what makes things entertaining, to say the least. Patiently perched upon my shoulder, Archimedes preened a fraction of my greying hair, his soft feathers tickling my ear, “Mmmm, mein Engel, du bist wirklich die schönste.†I craned my neck to be face to face with him, puckering my lips as Archimedes reached his beak forward and I kissed him. Smiling, I nudged his pointed beak with my nose, “Eines Tages werde ich habe meinen eigenen Flügeln.†With that I held out my hand and he gracefully flew to it, allowing me to set him next to the rest of his flock. I watched him get nestled and pouf out his feathers before readjusting my focus to Scout. After I remove the remainder of Scout's clothing, save for his boxers, I fasten his limbs to the operating table with leather straps. They're long enough for him to move around, for him to put up some form of struggle. My hands wander around his body, examining his fine features, caressing his figure. Out of all the members of the team, Scout's body was definitely the most fit. Every time he'd come for his monthly check up, or come by when he was injured, I'd take my time examining him. Memorizing all the little details, silently appreciating his physique. Of course he didn't know how I actually felt about him, no one did. I never shared how I enjoyed the way his soft skin felt under my gloves, how when I pressed the stethoscope to his chest to hear his breathing and heart, it soothed me. The sound of a healthy heart was true music to my ears. The sound of Heavy's pounding heart, working overtime to circulate his blood makes me cringe. The thunk... I screw my face up at the auditory memory. But I digress. Scout was a creature whom I admired from afar, waiting patiently for the moments I could... Hem... Well... To say the least, he's here now. At my mercy. Surprising, of course, for I never would have guessed he was attracted to me in any way. He always called me 'old man' and I assumed the extent of his appreciation for my work was merely that of a patient-doctor relation. Chuckling at his attempts to seduce me, I set all the tools I will need for the following procedure upon a silver tray. I wasn't expecting such a thing as this to ever happen. My mind went back to thinking about the first moment his lips touched me. A shiver runs down my back and I smile, stealing a glance at his resting body, a bit of drool was trailing down his cheek. Well, I have to admit, his seductive tactics, although not something I'm use to, were most effective. I never bowed down to anyone and did as they told, no, I was the one who commanded. And I preferred it to stay that way. I humoured him, of course. Biding my time for the moment he was caught off guard, it came a lot faster then I had anticipated, but I was ready and I literally jumped at the opportunity. I would get him back for his commands, of course I would. There was no question about that. And Scout will know. He will know he is the one who will have to beg for release. Once everything was sterilized and lined up in order of height, I pulled my stethoscope to my ears awaiting the moment I had been anticipating since I sedated Scout. He should be waking up any moment now, considering I took my time getting everything prepared just right. My hands were cleaned and manicured to pristine quality, the leather straps were secured, unnecessary clothing was folded neatly and placed on my desk, the doves were sound asleep (for now) and the only thing left to do was to get started. Typically I'm not so obsessive with the details preceding my endeavours, but I wanted this moment to be perfect. Nothing was going to go wrong. --- I pressed the chestpiece of the stethoscope to Scout's chest, adjusting the tunable diaphragm to get the crisp sound of Scout's heart beat into proper focus. I closed my eyes, getting lost in the repetitive sound. I could hear him slowly wake up, the pace of his heart quickening, my own heart picking up its pace in syncopation. His breathing picked up and became increasingly more frantic, so I reluctantly opened my eyes and put the headset around my neck. Scout's frantic eyes met mine in a panicked sputter, before he began yelling. “Wha- the... Doc... Wha-... Fu-...†He started thrashing about, trying to sit up and get off the table, but the restraints weren't long enough to warrant him that luxury. “DOC WHAT THE FUCK MAN!†I was suddenly glad I didn't keep the earpieces in place, the yelling would have deafened me. I just patiently stood there next to him, waiting for him to calm down. I clasped my hands in front of me, smiling sweetly while watching his reactions. I'd have to record them as soon as this was over, and I made special note of how his fast metabolism seemed to ware off the drowsy effects of the anaesthetic almost immediately, contrast to the effect it usually had upon my patients. Scout tried to remove the restraints, but couldn't get his hands to meet. The straps were only about a foot long, it wasn't going to stretch either, his attempts were so futile. Still, it was amusing to stand there and watch as his muscles flexed each time he struggled against the leather. Eventually he let out an exasperated growl, slamming his body against the cold, metal table. It made a most pleasing thud. “Doc, untie me man, what's the deal!†his eyes were almost pleading. I walked up to him, clasping my hands behind me. “You zought zat you could get avay viz your commands, Scout? Did you forget who is in charge hier?†I slowly circled the table he was laying on, watching him get increasingly cantankerous as the reality of the situation sunk into his head. I casually trailed my hand over his bare torso, feeling the ripple of his muscles beneath my touch. I stopped at his jaw, patting him playfully on the cheek. Scout scrunched his face at my touch, so I ran my finger tips through his hair. “You came hier for a gut time, richtig?†My fingers began to massage the Scout's scalp, his soft hair tickling my hands. “Vell, I haf a splendid idea.†I leaned over so my face was over his, kissing his nose playfully. “Vould you like to be let in on my plans?†I licked his cheek before standing properly again, strutting over to where my tools were. I could hear the Scout heave a deep sigh, exhaling through his mouth. “Yeah, sure Doc. What are your almighty, great and splendid plans?†His voice was slick with sarcasm, clearly disappointed at where he wound up. I picked up a scalpel, testing its weight in my hands for a moment before turning around. “Ach, Scout, you don't sound nearly as ensuzed as you did an hour ago! Don't tell me you've given up zhe fight!†The scalpel refracted a sliver of light onto Scout's chest and I led it up to dance on his face. He squinted when I let the light rest upon his eyes, “Say it viz mehr ensuziasm! You don't vant to get zis Doktor cranky, do you?†I dropped the light, letting him shoot me an incredulous stare. I drop my voice to a whisper, shielding the side of my mouth with the back of my hand, “I hear he's batshit crazy.†The Scout just continued to stared at me, his mouth slightly agape. “Vell...†I smirked at him, sitting on the side of the operating table, “vat shall it be?†I gently pinched one of Scout's pert nipples, playing with the rosy nub. “Did you vant zhe loving, spicy, juicy Medic zhat you hoped to see tonight?†I reached my lips over to delicately suckle on his nipple, toying at the tip with my tongue. “Or,†I sat up and lightly trailed the blade of the scalpel down the middle of his torso, letting some blood bead up, “did you vant zhe crazy, psychotisch Medic zhat is, in mein own humble opinion, zehn times mehr entertaining zhen being vat you Amerikaner call 'fanilla'.†“Hah, so what Doc, you think you're made of chocolate?†His eyes were nervously fixated upon the line of red slowly blossoming upon his chest. “Naturalich.†“If ya unhinge me Doc, I promise to make you the sweetest tasting chocolate going.†“Zat sounds qvite delekatble Scout,†I give a throaty chuckle, swabbing up a bead of Scout's blood, bringing it to my lips as a sample, “alzough at zhe moment I prefer mein Schokolade to be dark, bitter und savoury.†I lick my finger clean before going back for a second swab, only this time I hold up a finger of blood inches from the Scout's lips, “Hier, try some. It is full of iron, you know.†To my shocking discovery, Scout actually opened his mouth at my offer. I displayed my surprise with a raise of my eyebrows, placing a bloody index finger in his mouth. The Scout's tongue wrapped itself around my finger as he sucked the blood off. He greedily nibbled a bit at my distal phalange before releasing it to freedom. “More please, Doctor sir,†the Scout's tone was sweet, almost childish. I reached a finger back down to the long cut on his chest, “Ah, wait...†I paused, hovering my finger in its place, “Yes, liebling?†What kind of new leaf had Scout turned over? He was up to something, as I have easily observed in my past encounters with Scout, manners and compliance were not a defining feature of his. “I already know what ma blood tastes like, I wanna try some a yours now, Doc.†A genuine smile peeled across his lips, his eyes revealing something both unsettling and kind. I snorted, “You vant to drink meinen Blut?†Highly unlikely. “Nein, I cannot allow zis.†“But Doc, man!†He tried sitting up a bit, settling for resting uncomfortably upon his elbows. “Nein, just settle for a second helping of vat is available.†I dragged my middle finger along the red line with some added pressure, watching the Scout hiss at the pain. “Hier. Zis or nozzing.†There was a hefty quantity of his blood dripping from my finger tip, waiting for access to his mouth. Glaring at me, he reluctantly opened his mouth for his second helping. Almost immediately he began to suck on my finger, vigorously cleaning off the blood. I began to explore his mouth with my digit. Content with feeling the warm and moist texture, I shut my eyes, focusing on my sense of touch. When my phalange was well into the exploration, and I can't believe I hadn't seen this coming, a sharp set of teeth clamped down upon it. I shot my eyes open, gently trying to pull my finger loose. “Scout, don't make me use force. You vill not like it, I promize.†I threatened, holding the scalpel up with my left hand, waving it back and forth like a flag. I got a muffled, haughty laugh back in response, the Scout smiling deviously at me. He quickly applied more pressure to my finger when I focused the scalpels blade in the direction of his face. Why had I fallen for this age old trick? “Scout, let go.†He applied more pressure. “Eins.†More pressure. The sting was becoming difficult to think past. “Zwei.†I gritted my teeth. Again, Scout closed down harder. I could feel my skin being pierced. “Drei!†I was frustrated. I didn't want to have to rely upon using my left hand for defending myself. Being so reliant on my right hand for delicate work, the very thought of wielding a blade with my left hand made me uneasy. In the name of saving what was left of my finger however, I will do what I must. I was almost certain Scout got his taste of my blood when he closed his eyes and let loose a moan of victory. I gritted my teeth, my face contorted in a mix between pain and self-disappointment. With my unsteady left hand, I drew a deep line into his right arm, the closest body part to me. He released my finger in an anguished cry of pain, “FUCK!†“Dummkopf, zat vouldn't haf happened had you obeyed me und released meinen Finger!†A line of blood trailed down his chin as he swallowed again, no doubt he had a nice mouthful of my blood to satisfy his urge. I, on the other hand, was not satisfied. There was going to be a scar of bite marks on my finger, and the wound already began to welt up. The sting of it bringing involuntary water to my eyes. I turned my back to the Scout, slamming the bloody scalpel onto the tray and grabbing a handful of gauze to applying pressure to the bite. I took a few deep breaths, trying to focus on how I was going to enact some payback on Scout. I was already on my third batch of gauze, the damn thing wouldn't quit bleeding, when I was calm enough to carry on conversation. Scout had a gleeful and glorious grin plastered upon his face, my blood staining his skin, clearly not phased by the gash I gave him on his arm. “Doc, I must say, yer blood tastes amazing. Kinda like what em fancy schmo's say 'bout red wine, the olda, mo' refined it is, the richa the flavour. Course, I wouldn't know nethin' 'bout rancid wine. Beer on the otha hand. Ha! Get it? Other hand?†“It's an aqvired taste.†I say dryly, deflecting the poor humour. “Well, you're like what ya said 'bout the chocolate... Savory...†He laid back down onto the operating table, roaming his eyes around the ceiling and shivered slightly. “Yo Doc, I'm gettin' a bit cold... Do ya think... Maybe...†He trailed off, still looking at the ceiling, his cheeks flushed a deeper shade of pink. I took my glasses off for a moment, placing them in my patch pocket, and strode over to Scout, blocking his view. “Vat are you trying to say, Schatz?†I smile slightly, cupping his head in my hands before licking my blood off his face. It was slightly more iron enriched then the Scout's, leaving me with a more metallic aftertaste. My meticulous cleaning pulled him out of his reverie, and instead of him replying in words, he answered with a sweet kiss, his hands beckoning me (as much as they could), to come closer to him. Crawling closer, I eventually made my way to straddling Scout's hips. An ice cold hand made its furtive way underneath my white dress shirt, pawing at my bare skin. I flinched at the chilly touch, smiling fondly down at the handsome body before me. “Come keep me warm, Doc...†Scout purred, biting his lip while he thrust his hips forward, knocking me off kilter. It forced me to uncross my hands and kneel over top of his body; my hands relocating to either side of his head, my wounded finger smacking the cold metal uncomfortably. I gritted my teeth, watching Scout's smile grow with sadistic pleasure. His hands were no longer cold as they reached up to clamp my nipples. Of course I grunted at his rough affection, however I must admit, it was just the surprise I needed to be distracted from the throbbing pain in my hand. I pecked him upon the lips just once, “Say Bitte schön.†I handed him a sarcastic response, waiting for him to release my nipples. “Bit-uh... shoe-n?†Was his butchered attempt at my beautiful language. He looked confused too. I smiled, moving my face closer to his. I rolled my eyes, “Now say it like you mean it.†“I ain't sayin' nothing meaningful that I don't understand man! For all I know you could be tellin' me to say I 'hate the Red Socks' or-!†Scout stopped mid sentence and glared, most likely offended at the mere thought of badmouthing his favourite team. No one in the whole fortress was allowed to mention anything even remotely close to a negative comment towards the Red Socks without getting a metal bat to the back of the head. “It mean's 'pretty please', Scout.†“Right... Well. Fine then.†He recovered quickly, clearing his throat, met my eyes with his own blues and, quite sincerely I may add, tried again, “Bit-uh shoe-n mine Medic,†Scout's whole body seemed to plead in agreement with his voice: his hands running through my chest hair, his chin tilted up towards me, his legs shifting closer to my own. Finishing off with a whispered, “Please Doc, come keep me warm.†I couldn't help but to oblige and become temporary putty within his hands.
(AN) There, this post catches you up to all the happenings I've written so far. This is where things start to get fun(er?). And by fun I mean more blood, more blood, more blood and some guts! This is also the least edited part of the story, considering it's the most recent. If you notice anything fischy, just let me know so I can fix it. Danke! ------------------------------------ We engaged in what I could call the most kinkiest make-out session since my 11th grade. The Doc's body was so warm compared to mine, making me sandviched between a still cold and hard table and Doc's hot and muscly body. The restraints he trapped me in were chafing a bit from my non-stop movement, my head was still spinning from whatever drug made me pass out, the digging pain in my arm screaming out over the sting of the cut down my chest, my neck slightly stiff from what I'm guessing was all thanks to the fucking needle, annnd my pants were suddenly rather tight. Fuck. Would it kill him to get me a pillow? I don't think I could be any more uncomfortable. Wait. I take that back. I take it back. Pretend I didn't say that. So back to this make-out. When I say my body is uncomfortable, I mean it. But at the same time, Medic has to be one of the most skilled kisser's I know. And his attention was definitely a good distraction from the growing list of complaints. My hands gripped his body the best they could, and I was at least thankful I could move a bit. If I was strapped and unable to fuckin' blink I think I would have hyperventilated myself to respawn. Our tongues finally met in a battle of whose mouth was hosting the moment's passion. Just because I was tied up doesn't mean I'm gonna give the Doc the satisfaction of winning. Yeah, I was bummed at first. My ego took a hit... but to be frank, I actually liked the challenge of being dominant in a forced submissive position. I chuckled mid kiss and wiggled my hips a bit, grooving to another imaginary beat. Oh yeah. This was gonna be awesome. Why? Cause I'm just that awesome. Doc chuckled back at me, caressing the side of my body with his left hand. He let his warm hand linger for just a few seconds at the elastic-y part of my boxers, playing with the texture of the fabric, before slipping his hand in. I felt my breath hitch at his touch to my most inner thigh and the kiss deepened, Medic gaining tongue victory to my mouth. I couldn't resist a moan as his hand worked its magic, tickling, taunting, teasing my particularly hard member. Thrusting slowly into his movements I had to put the kiss on hold to get a good breath of air. As I took my breath the Medic firmly pulled on my erection, drawing another moan out of me. It was just so good. The Medic knew exactly how to make me squirm, his skilled hand running along my shaft, his palm... oh his fingers... I couldn't resist twitching and thrusting more hungrily into his hand. He moves his fingers around the head, moistening them with my pre-cum, teasing me as he moves down to the base inches from fondling my nuts. I needed more. I look into his gentle blue eyes, trying to tell him telepathically that I want more of him, seeing as words seemed to fail me. I plead with my eyes and a hungry groan and he nods, picking up the pace of his ministrations and reaches around to lick my neck. I close my eyes, digging my stubby nails into his flesh and cry out. What can I say, I enjoy being loud. Just hearing myself groan with ecstasy turns me on. “I... I'm gonna cum...†my body was unable to stay still and I was slipping around on the metal table from all my sweat. “Schatz, Schatz, patience. You vill in time.†He suddenly stopped all movement before I had the chance and pulled his hand out from beneath my boxers. Before I could notify him of my complete dislike of this new development, Medic chomped down upon my neck. His surprisingly sharp teeth punctured my skin without much effort or hesitation on his part. It took me a moment to recover my voice before I actually screamed out in pain. It was such a sharp pain that it brought tears to my eyes. His teeth still in me, moving deeper and deeper with each heaving breath I take. I refuse to stop screaming. My head begins to swim with dizziness and my body is starting to feel a bit warm and I didn't like the way my blood and the scent of Medic mixed into this metallic blend of spices and iron. More dizziness... More screaming... I think... I can't really hear, everything seems to be going dark and fuzzy. --- I feel all warm and fuzzy. Like I'm on a cloud. Maybe when I open my eye's my Ma will be with me, holding out a nice stick of fresh cotton candy. Ma's so great. She's the best Ma, you know. None compare. I can feel her delicate hands brush my shoulder, resting on my cheek, I lean into her warm hand and smile. I sigh. Her hand continues to trace the lines of muscle on my chest, she would always tell me to eat more and would always have a hot home cooked meal waiting for my brothers and I when we got home from work and school. My belly flinches a bit as she lightly brushes my abs. I don't think I've ever felt this relaxed. Although, the fuzzy feeling seems to be wearing off some. I can picture her laughing, poking fun at my ticklishness. It'd always be in good humour though, she often left the tickle torture to be fulfilled by my older brothers. I guess I'd have to say I'm feeling blissful, if there was a word I'd have to use. Although, the warm feeling seems to be wearing off some. Her hands move lower and lower with each second that passes until they reach over top of my boxers, her delicate hands resting upon my tented member... Tented. Wait... Ma... “Ma... no...†I stir, cracking my eyes open a bit to see blurry shapes and a lot of light. I close them again. The fuzzy feeling is almost completely gone as her hand traces along the lines of the tent. I try to open my eyes again to still be greeted by a blur of colour. Deciding I needed to rub my eyes, I move my hands... They're not moving... Why is she holding my wrists? Wha- She can't have three hands... “MA WHAT'S- WHA-†My vision slowly comes back. A blurry Medic stands over top of me with a sinister grin plastered on his face. His one hand idly playing with my tent, the other sporting a syringe filled with some clear liquid. “WHAT THE FUCKING FUCKSHIT-†The images of my mother fade immediately. The warm feeling is still there though... but fuzzy? What could be fucking fuzzy about a god damned operating table unless it was lined with a shag carpet. And I fucking doubt Medic would operate on a shag carpet. Let alone even owwwwn a damn shag carpet. Fuck. Damn Medic and his shag carpet. What the hell kind nightmare did I wake up to. “Calm liebling, you passed out. Just focus on your breazhing und take a moment to relax. It vill be okay, I promize.†The events of the evening flooded back into my head and my heart began to slow down its panicked pace. He caressed the side of my cheek, my body instantly swooning to his affection. I closed my eyes for a moment to collect myself; opening them again I realized the Medigun was hooked up to its harness thing that suspended it from the ceiling so Medic could work on longer procedures without his patient's dying or being in too much pain. It's red misty stuff was spouting onto me and I assumed that was where the warm feeling was coming from. “I had to heal your neck vound unfortunately. It vas qvite delicious mein Puppe, but you vere lozzing too much Blut und so I had to break out der Medigun. I zink zhough, zat zis is an improvement, ja? Now ve kann have mehr fun vizout zhe vorry of respawn!†He spoke with his hands a bit too enthusiastically and accidentally squirted out some of the juices in the syringe. “Doc, you're fuckin' nuts, you know that?†I chuckle, the sound of having the Medigun around cancelled out Medic's insane idea of a good time. Medic cocked his head to the side for a moment as if he were considering what I said and momentarily contemplated his sanity. With a shrug he smiled to himself and put the syringe between his teeth, reaching onto his silver tray full of sticks with sharp teeth and clamps for what looked like a long rubber stringy tube. I watched him play with it for a while, stretching it out and letting it snap back at his hand repeatedly. I noticed his hands were of full use to him now, he must have healed his hand with the Medigun. I smirked, all that was left of my bite were some shiny white scars. “What's tha' for Doc?†I ask curiously. “Pur dich.†He tied the stretchy rubber thing around my arm and messaged my arm for a bit. The band pinched uncomfortably and I watched as my veins bulked up at Medic's touch. He removed the syringe from his mouth and continued, “I'm just going to be giving you an aphrodisiac so zhat you vill enjoy zhe feeling of everyzhing I do to you. I made zhis concoction myself! My very own prototype. You vill haf to tell me how it vorks for you, I am qvite excited for zhe results.†He swabbed some alcohol on my arm where he was going to put the needle. “Is... Is it gonna hurt, Doc?†I gulped. I was never a big fan of needles. “Oh, don't be such a baby. It vill be over before you can say <INSERT OBSCENELY LONG GERMAN WORD HERE>.†and before I could protest or even dream of repeating that obscenely long German word, Medic slid the needle into one of my veins and pumped the juice into my system. I gritted my teeth and shut my eyes, waiting for the pinch of the needle to leave. “Zhere! Alles gut!†Medic smiled, placing a bit of pressure on the dot where the needle had poked through my skin, he then untied the rubber thing and placed it back on the tray. “Vould you like a bandage, Scout? I can make it all special und put a smily on it for you if you like.†“Seriously?! I'm not two, man!†“Vould you prefer me to kiss it besser?†Medic moved my hand to his lips. “Pfft, I...†I hesitated. No, I didn't want Medic to baby my arm, but I wouldn't mind a kiss to get it out of my mind... I settled for just glaring at him. He kissed my hand, “So how do you feel?†He kissed my hand again. My body began to tingle. Especially where his lips brushed my skin. It was a stupid kiss a gentleman would give a sissy. It shouldn't feel this nice. I screwed up my face to show him I was thinking, “Meh, Doc, I feel the same.†Medic proceeded to nibble on each of my digits, quite hard I may add. Any harder and he'd draw blood. But my body tingled some more and I had to gulp down the moan in my throat, “Still nothin' Doc.†I could feel my arousal getting stronger. He looked up at me, a slightly confused expression written upon his brow, “Are you sure? It's supposed to take effect almost immediately. No change in bodily sensations at all?†“No man, I still feel like me.†The attention Medic was giving me moved to my belly. He slowly began to kiss up my side, using his right hand to caress the other side. His bare hand rested upon the back of my neck, waiting for his lips to catch up. I relaxed into his hand. Each kiss the Medic gave me sent a little spark to my head, fogging it up, and to my groin, making me a bit antsy. When his soft lips reached mine I could feel my cheeks heat up. “How about now? Any different?†Medic's brow scrunched up again and he adjusted his glasses. “I made zhe aphrodisiac very potent. It should haf taken effect...†“Nope, still nothin',†I said breathlessly. “How about now?†His hands moved down to my boxers and toyed with the fabric hiding my aching member. My body gave an uncontrollable thrust into his hand and I bit my lip. The touch of his fingers drove me crazy, like you have no idea. “Fuck man,†I laughed nervously, “Still...†I gulped, “Nothin'.†I tried to think of something... anything to distract me... Dead puppies... Dead kitties... Ma... Yeah, Ma... and Spy... Ma and Spy doin' it... Oh god... Dead puppies, dead puppies, dead puppies. Fuck. Medic. Stop being so fucking hot you... I whimpered and bit my lip again. God dammit. “I vonder... Should I give you a second dosage? I tried to take into consideration your qvick metabolism, but if you say zhat zhere is no change vhat so ever, zhen perhaps...†He tapped his chin, a thoughtful expression written on his face. He then reached over for another syringe. “Woaaaah Doc, Doc Doc DOC!†My heart went into overdrive. “I was fibbin' okay? I'm sorry! Frig man! Please don't stab me with tha' thing again!†Medic sported a false look of hurt, “You... lied to me? Scout.†He tisked me a few times and traded the needle for a scalpel, “One zhing to learn is to never jeopardize zhe results for a doctor. Alvays give as honest a response as you can.†“Yeah, I wont do it again, Doc! Scout's honour.†I laughed nervously, knowing what was certain to come. How was I supposed to top this!? My body was completely at this mans mercy! My mind quickly following! I glared at the wall, god damn drug and god damn Medic. I felt the cold blade press on my skin in the same spot as the previous cut on my chest use to be. The Medic smiled as he drew a long line, my blood beading up before it trailed down the sides of my chest. This cut was much deeper then the last one and I was certain he hit bone. I thought I would be screeching, or at least hissing with pain as the knife carried down to my belly button. But I didn't. It actually kinda tickled. Still didn't stop the horrified look on my face as I watched Medic set his scalpel down and pick up some odd looking clamp things from his tray of miscellaneous medical tools. Although... I think that the horrified look on my face was more from me realizing I actually enjoyed the feeling of the cut then actually watching Medic work away on my body. The clamps were carefully placed on my body to hold my skin back for him to work. Okay. I can see my bones and... Holly fucking hell there's my guts and muscles and WHAT THE FUCK THIS IS NASTY. “Medic, what the FUCKING HELL ARE YOU DOING!†He met my eyes for a split second before he continued to cut away at my body. His expression was filled with... hunger. I unballed my fists and grabbed the edge of the table as hard as I could to brace myself for whatever was coming up next. Why did I ever think that this was a good idea? Of course I trusted the Doc, I had no choice, but it didn't stop the fact that this man was completely, beyond any point of turning back, one-hundred percent FUCKED in the HEAD! Why couldn't I have been attracted to someone more gentle... Like... Engie. Yeah. Engie could be gentle. “Doc, why the fuck couldn't you be more gentle?! I mean, seriously. Is normal sex just not good enough for you!?†“I am a man of science, Herr.†He answered matter-of-factly with a hint of ice. “I dunn like your tone.†I eyed the handsome doctor as he rolled up his sleeves, getting blood all over his dress shirt and vest. “Sit still, Bitte. I'm going to be doing very precise vork.†He picked up his beloved bone saw and hovered it above my ribcage. I immediately laid down flat for him, and held as still as I could. “Stop hyperventilating, you'll be fine.†Medic comforted me and cupped my cheek in his hand as he bent over to kiss me. I could feel his hands slick with my blood and got a little taste of it in the kiss. His taste swam through my head, clouding my panicked thoughts. The kiss deepened and I got lost in the sensation, exploring his mouth with my tongue and feeling his buttery lips upon mine. It was wet, it was juicy, and Medic's attentiveness just totalled me. I was putty in his hands again. Mmmmm I wanted him to touch me so bad. My groin ached with need. Certain he was going to end the kiss soon, but not wanting his lips to leave mine, I bit his lip playfully. He seemed to enjoy it and bit mine back with a deep moan. Yep, I made him moan. I couldn't help but smile at that and we shared the kiss for a while longer. Medic pulled away with a sigh. Blushing, he whipped his lips off with the back of his hand leaving a few streaks of my blood on his face. The look was very becoming. He looked more and more insane as his smile grew and the blood coated his body. I am still in the afterglow trance of the kiss, feeling giddy and lighthearted. Medic may not be the most gentle of creatures going, but he did have a delicate side to him. I was reminded of that from his passionate kiss. What is with crazy people anyways? Why do I find him so attractive? Yeah, sure there was his accent and his pristine quality appearance. His glasses gave him that sexy librarian look... But I am also attracted to his jovial insanity. It's what makes him stand out from the rest. Sure, everyone one in this team was a waked out nut-job, but none compared to the intellectual mad scientist who knew how to please you and still freak you out at the same time. I smiled up at him, yeah, Medic was pretty sweet. With his bone saw, he began to separate my rib cage to expose the organs beneath. I could feel the pull and vibration with each motion Medic made with his saw and I gritted my teeth, groaning, waiting for him to finish. The sound of my bones being broken normally would have made me sick to my stomach, but for some reason, this time it wasn't so bad. “Sehr gut!†Medic applauded himself and replaced the saw on the tray, grabbing more clamps. I watched him while he worked, surprised that I wasn't feeling much pain. I attributed it to the drug and the Medigun. Must have been. If the bite on my neck made me pass out and I didn't pass out from seeing my own guts, then yeah... It was some freakin' medical action messing with my brain. I watch Medic marvel at my guts and I must say, they are pretty nice guts. Lots of blood, but also, just check out the shape of my liver! That's right! All those nights being denied drinking, just check out that sexy colour. Betcha Demo's looked like a prune. Wouldn't surprise me if he had no liver left at all! “What's your fav' Doc?†I took pride in my guts. Medic looked pleased with them too. “Hmm, vell, I'm a personal fan of your lungs und heart... Vould... Vould you mind if I touched zhem?†The hunger in his eyes made my stomach flip. Well... not actually flip... I didn't even know which one my stomach was. I just knew the usual ones, like the liver, heart, lungs, intestines. Cuz, well... Who didn't know where those were? I thought my liver would have been on the other side though... “Uhhh, sure...†No one ever actually touched my organs before. They got blown up several times, but touched with a loving hand, no. Aside from that, if I denied him to touch my organs, I doubt he'd listen. “Danke.†Medic said idly as he rested an elbow onto the operating table, resting his chin in his hand before extending his other hand to my heart. His fingers softly caressed it and I could feel and see my heart it pick up its pace beneath his touch. It sent a surge of longing down into my groin and took my breath away. “Fuck,†I moaned, “That feels amazing.â€
Ahhh... Looks like I forgot to insert that 'obscenely long German word'. Oops! I wrote it when I didn't have any internet access to google such a word. I guess you can use your imagination. I'm gonna google that shit right now though. Gods, I'm so embarrassed. Fuck it. Just pretend it said "Schadenfreude". It fits and it's funny. In my opinion at least.
....woah.woah! That was a seriously nasty plot twist. A bit disappointed for not getting any real Scout/Medic so far, but eager to read what will happen to him. The procedure will be somewhat excruciating, I guess?
after further reading, I still wait for more. Though I am not that of a fan of good old "science" medic. Obscenely long german word: Eichkätzchenschwanz. (squirrel's tail) Even more of a tongue twister when it hits local accents. Thank you, by the way, for making sure that sometime tomorrow during one of the lessons, a medic kissing his dove will be found scribbled in my notebook. Lovely image.
I'm not big on gore, but what really made me cringe with this story is your inability to watch your tenses. Please get a beta reader- it's distracting and it gives your writing a childish quality when you constantly shift from past to present tense.
Doneaudampfschifffährtgesellschaftskapitan. You're welcome.
[How are you able to do that 'quote the previous comment' thing with the numbers like this: > > 1 (as an example)?] 'Till then, I'll do it this way: >>5 All I can say is 'all in due time'! I am a fan of fluff and sexiness, so I'm going try working that in there at some point. Any specific details or happenings you'd like to see specifically? >>6 Awe, I'm sorry to hear that, I'm personally a huge fan of the sadistic scientific Medic. Perhaps I could bring some other side of his personality out just for you though. And YES! I recently had to draw Medic smooching Archimedes too. It's adorable and heart warming. >>7 As stated previously (at the top of my first entry), it was sitting in the workshop for a while and is still there untouched by my grammar Nazi friends. I have had a couple friends read through it before I stuck it on here and they didn't have much to say about my use of past and present tense. Admittedly though, I must say I do have problems with my past and present tense and I'm sorry it hurt your grammar Nazi mind. Would you like to Beta it for me? Or do you have any tips to give in ways of fixing it? A critique on your criticism (coming from a Visual Arts major) is to give helpful tips on how the person would be able to fix the issue you've found. You can't just dump a comment without giving them a way out, well... You can, but it's just frustrating. I don't see how it's childish either so I'd appreciate it if you could expand on your selective choice of wording. Thank-you! >>8 That is the greatest. That also made my day. Thank-you.
Well... It looks like I found out how to do that '> > #' thing after all. Whoo hoo. So ex-nay on the asking of how to do it, clearly I figured it out.
As I said above, your shaky grasp on tense gives your writing a childish look. It is sloppy and amateurish. If you don't want your writing to have a childish/sloppy/etc look, all you have to do is pay attention to the tense in which you are writing, and double-check before posting to make sure that you aren't jumping back and forth and back again. This isn't exactly a complex stylistic complaint or a petantic jab at your grammar that I am forwarding here, it's basic to good writing to make sure that when your narrator is describing events in the past tense, he stays in the past tense and does not use words or sentences that place the action in the present tense. If you couldn't figure out how to fix it from my first post, I really don't think that I can help you. As for beta-ing, a beta reader would help, but I am not volunteering as, (as I also said) gore really isn't my cuppa.
>>11 Ahh, well, as an amateur writer I guess I hold up to the reputation. I write for fun and wrote this to share with fellow people who enjoy gore (if you're not a fan of gore, why put yourself through the torture?). Painting and illustrating are what I'm best at. I like to improve my writing, of course, hence why I put myself up to the challenge and put it on here where it'd get more readers then in workshop. I know it's far from a beautifully polished piece of prose. Live and learn. Beta, got it. Fine tooth comb my work with a finer toothed comb, a good idea.
>>9 A critique on your criticism of criticism (coming from another Visual Arts major) is to stop this knee jerk critique-qualifying bollocks. A lack of "helpful tips" has nothing to do with your sloppy habits with tense--the only fix for sloppiness is to stop being sloppy. Pay attention to what you're writing when you write it; double-check for errors when you're finished. You should be doing that anyway. If you check to see that your tense is consistent, and correct it when it isn't, and then your tense problem will go away. And when people point out that you missed something in your editing process, make a note to yourself to check for the thing they pointed out in the future. If you don't understand the problem, or can't figure out what they want you to do to fix it, then ask questions. But this whole "blame the critic for simple miscommunication," approach that you're using now isn't going to help you get better feedback.
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I look through the window in the door and see Medic's back as he scribbles notes on papers This is present tense. I leaned against the wall directly behind Medic, crossing my arms in front of me This is past tense. As this event takes place after the last one, it's no longer obvious whether the narrator is describing events that happened in his past or that are happening to him right now. You are a self-described Visual Arts student, and whether you are currently getting a BA or a Master's, part of your education has doubtlessly involved writing; I am pretty sure that you would not describe Peter Brugel's career in the present tense, and the same rules of writing essays that you should have learned in grade school apply to writing fiction, whatever your level of education. Why I read this story in the first place when I do not like gore enough to beta it has nothing to do with the fact that I found your shaky tense an unenjoyable part of reading it. If we really want to get technical, I have a BA in Studio Art. This has utterly nothing to do with my ability to give, receive, or comprehend criticism, and you don't need any sort of education to point out technical mistakes in a person's work that have utterly nothing to do with the writer's intentions or the theme of the story itself, or to understand them. If being told that you repeatedly made a simple and easily correctable mistake is a problem for you, then I'm not sure why you posted this in the workshop, let alone here, because people are free to criticize anything about your story on this board.
If you would like someone to look over your story just for grammar and tenses, you can give me an email. I'll look over it. I found the story interesting. The ALLCAPS thoughs and words of the Scout were rather distracting at times. However, I do adore vivisection in fanfics
Kay so, I was runnin on a bit of a TF2 trip and wandered across this pice of story and... wow! dayum, seriously. I'm not usually one to look for gore but every bit of this was hot, including the whole vivisection thing! Also I really enjoyed the dialogue between Scout and Medic, and your presentation (especailly the Medic) was just unf. Extra love for his accented speech <3 Now those nasty and unhelpful comments aside i'd be more than happy to beta this for you if you haven't got yourself one already, cause I can spot quite a few instances where tenses get a bit mixed up but believe me when I say it's nothing as heineous as it's being made out to be. I've seen and read far, FAR worse. I'm no grammar nazi, but i'd be happy all the same to help out. Lemme know if you want my email or you can give me yours, whichever works. Other than that, happy writing! And I hope read more from you~
> 17 It makes me really, really happy to hear that you enjoyed the story! I have a beta reader for this story already (mainly for grammar) but I would love it if you wanted to look over it too for making sure it flows character-wise and such. I have my email linked to my name at the top of this comment for you. Hope to hear from you soon!
I am loving this a lot.
This is delicious. Sadistic Medic is my favorite. But what I really, really like is when sadistic desires mix and mingle with sexual desire. Which this is getting pretty darn close to. For the love of god please continue.
> petantic I think it's adorable. Then again, I'm a fan of gore and psychological torture in my porn, and my quality standards are fairly low. Regardless -- continue, please.
oh my god, please continue.
Okay please stop bumping this thread. SAGE Please. I keep thinking this story has been updated.
Here's an update! Beta'd by the awesome IBrotato. Thank-you for whipping me into shape everyone. You kicked my ass out of my lazy writing habit and I sincerely hope that this update has improved. If there's anything weird or fishy still, please let me know. Be prepared for some delicious blood, guts and DOMINATION!!! UNFFFFFffff. ---------------------------- Of course I’m a selfish person. I didn’t take this job so I could feel satisfied with a good healing of someone in need. I scoff at the very thought of those ‘healing professionals’. So why did I take this job? Money matters not when I’m promised days of endless experimentation in the name of science! I made this aphrodisiac in hopes to be able to do a fun little experiment on the battle field one day. If I can make it long lasting, potent enough, and find a way to spike the BLU’s water or food supply with it, we will suddenly have a clot of horny men begging us to kill them so they can jack off in re-spawn. I am certainly proud of my work and if all goes well with this test run and I am granted the opportunity to carry this onto the field, it will be known to the BLU’s that I am the most valuable and powerful person in the entire war. The Nobel Prize of the Team Fortress world will be mine, if such a thing even exists. My dearest Scout is just the lovely little lab rat needed to run my tests. I am absolutely fascinated by Scout. I caught a glimpse of him the other day, triple jumping and shooting his ‘Force-A-Nature’ down at an unsuspecting enemy Soldier. The way his muscles flexed at each launch higher into the air made me stop my duties and admire his expert execution. He is a person who knows how to use their body; every one of his muscles under his complete control. I want to know what drives him to such extreme feats. I want to know what pushes him to run faster each day and how one can never seem to entirely hold him back, even when he is strapped to an operating table. Truth be told, I was ecstatic when he first showed up to my office. I wanted nothing more than to devour him. Displaying my emotions in such an... honest manner however puts me at his mercy. I am not a man to be reckoned with. I will not be dominated in my own office and Scout has to learn this. I turn my attention back to his hot heart pulsing under my tight grip. I’ve held many hearts before, most of them dismembered and immobile so this is a moment I want to savor. After a short while though, Scout interrupts me with his usual banter, “So, like, when are we gonna get to the fucking? I can barely take it Doc, like seriously.†His cheeks were flushed, eyes searching my face for an answer. The Scout’s neediness, although slightly frustrating, makes me acknowledge my own heated arousal. Damn him, “Vhat is it zhat you cannot take Scout?†I tighten my grip on his heart, feeling the strain of his pulse between my fingers. Moaning, the boy balls his fists, “Oh come on Doc, you know what I mean!†I simply look at him with a phony expression of confusion, “Do I?†Ignoring the beginnings of what could be a long, foul mouthed tangent, I remove my grasp on his heart and replace it with my lips. The slick, hot and pulsating texture on my lip fills me with so much hunger. I begin to caress the organ with my tongue, his blood covering my cheeks. His heart’s sharp and metallic taste is incredibly overwhelming, rendering me momentarily immobile. The biting heat catches me by surprise and I am suddenly bewitched by his body’s core temperature. My mind deserts me, leaving me to lounge and relish this splendour. I feel each movement of his lungs and the vibration of his voice resonating through his magnificent cardiac muscle. I fondle his right ventricle and sweep over to the pulmonary artery, moving to my favorite part of the heart: the aorta. I curl my tongue under the aortic arch as best as I can, pouring all my affection into this moment. I then wrap my lips around his vein and suck gently, the steady rhythm of his pulse making my lips tingle. My entire body falls into a euphoric trance and it takes all of my willpower to resist taking a chunk out of the heart and eating it right here and now. I have waited for this opportunity for so long, anticipated what it would have felt like, what it would have tasted like... but this goes far beyond any of my wildest fantasies; I never anticipated the reactions of Scout, the strength of his heart and surrounding organs, the actual texture and the deliciously poignant extract of his heart. I have never felt so euphoric. Never felt so empowered. My hands feel rather jealous of my mouth so they began to explore the rest of his organs. I sneak my right hand into his small intestine, carefully manoeuvring around the thin layer of muscle holding his intestine in position, as I softly stroke Scout’s left lung with the other. I can feel each laboured breath he takes, each pound of his heart and squirm of his jejunum. I revel in my glory. Everyone in this base may be able to beat the everlasting shit out of each other, but no one knows how to control their own functions, how to heal themselves or even know what makes their own bodies function. Without me, they’d just be a bunch of mindless animals killing each other off ignorantly. Even Engineer, with his 11 PhD’s, does not know what part of his brain allows him to reach such an academic prowess. They don’t know how much control and power I really have, and with my knowledge of how the human body works, I’m able to do infinite amounts of damage to anyone, make anyone’s body turn against them, have them at my complete mercy. And with this amount of power, it doesn’t matter who has the biggest gun. Suddenly I’m struck with inspiration. I lift my head, letting blood drip down my chin, as I meet Scout’s eyes with my own, “Vat do you zink of me fingering your Vena Cava?†I chuckle, realizing how absurd my question must sound and stand upright, reluctantly putting my hands at my sides. “My what now?†Scout’s eyes widened and it wasn’t until now that I realized he was trembling slightly and that his lip was bleeding. I had been completely absorbed in my own endeavours. “Vere you biting your lip vizout my permission?†I reach over to my tray and pick up a clean scalpel. “Don’t change the subject old man! What the shit is a vena cave? Is that some sort of medical pet name for dick or something?†watching him warily eye the blade, I nod and let him assume the worst. There are absolutely no words in either German or English that I can use to describe the unspeakably shrill and horrified squeak escaping those bloody lips. The exclamation of his fear sends shivers down my spine. Ahhh, marvelous. I climb aboard him, straddling his hips and began to grind against him, realizing that his erection is non-existent. My shoulders dropping, I assume it’s from the amount of blood he has been losing and I sigh, not sure whether to chuckle or rage at this snag in my plans. I settle for a half hearted chuckle, not wanting to disrupt the mood I’ve created and reach around to the Medigun, turning it up four notches for his blood to regenerate faster so there was plenty of blood for his body, his erection and sexual enjoyment, and to also satisfy my own curiosity and hunger. It’s such a shame all the blood made his erection die. After a couple minutes of teasing his groin with mine I begin feeling his bulge through my pants. I grind against him for a while longer, observing Scout’s every move. His hips tried bucking up eagerly on each upward grind, but failed since those muscles were already busy being clamped back to expose his organs. His lungs were quivering, heart hammering in its place, and then he swallows. I watch his adam’s apple bob as his esophagus carries the fluid down to his stomach. Our gaze connects and makes my own stomach flip. Scout looks so sexy like this. I descend upon him, our lips meeting once more. It felt as if Scout was pouring all his passion into the kiss, his lips part and our tongues embrace. His throaty, needy moans take my breath away and it’s all I can do to muster up enough self control to break free. I can feel my face flush and I pant a bit as I sit up. My vest is soaked in blood from allowing my body to rest on top of the fresh one under me. I can’t help but smile as I adjust my glasses, the mess of blood is always satisfying. I begin to work away on Scout’s heart, still straddling him. I hover the scalpel over the inferior vena cava for a moment, planning my move. The Medigun would prevent Scout from dying even if I cut a major vein, the blood would be plentiful however, which of course I don’t mind, but cleaning up such a mess is undesirable. There will also be a lovely scar to show for all my work. The Medigun has a habit of leaving scars on its patients. Respawn didn’t leave scars sadly, just the Medigun. “Yo, are you- are you even listening to me?†Scout’s voice peels over my thoughts and I look up. His expression is of utter annoyance. I don’t bother responding, he knows the answer to that question. Throwing caution to the wind, I sever the vena cava in a delicate yet swift motion, humming to myself as I place the bloody scalpel in my patch pocket. The blood is everywhere now, the beautiful red blossoming over his body. Within seconds the blood begins to pool onto the floor. The Medigun was humming softly over top of the operation, doing its job perfectly. There is excess amounts of blood from its regeneration, enough to keep /everything/ happy. Alas, the moment I have been waiting for. I slip my index finger easily into the vein, and reach it all the way through his heart. A groan escapes me as I begin to move deeper, it is a truly satisfying experience. I could feel the heart struggle to beat around my finger, contracting and pulsing. His vein is tight and slick with blood, lubricating each one of my delicate thrusts. “Oh, fuck. Fuck...†Scout moans and tries to take a few deep breaths, his cheeks flushing. In all honesty, for him it probably feels immensely painful even with the potent aphrodisiac pumping in his system and the healing factor of the Medigun. Could it be masochism? Or perhaps he enjoys seeing my own enthusiasm and enjoyment of his body? Maybe even some form of erotic asphyxiation from blood loss and adrenalin? I’ll have to get him to answer these questions after the procedure. I must know. I reach my lips down to his stomach and lap up some of the hot, sticky blood, pulling another slew of moaned profanities from him. Scout's blood tastes almost sweet, the flavor making my head swim with the joy of indulgence. I try shifting around to make myself more comfortable since my pants were suddenly feeling unbearably tight, but the friction alone nearly put me over the edge. I settle on giving up ignoring my primal urge. Taking the finger out of Scout’s vena cava, I watch as the backed up blood from comes gushing out, adding to the delightful mess. Scout screams in relief, his eyes clamping shut. Not wasting any time, I move myself between his legs and pull his undergarment down just enough to show off his marvelous, Medigun maintained, erection. I hear a hiss from the boy as I’m assuming the fresh, cool air has assaulted his throbbing member. My tongue meets his erection, and I immediately start to carry my ministrations to the tip. With the copious amounts of blood, it doesn’t have time to begin to dry so it makes a splendid lubricant and I easily slide my tongue back down his shaft, paying attention to the details and texture of his phallus. It was quite a decent size. Definitely something Scout would be endlessly proud about. My greedy hands reach around under his buttocks, cupping a cheek in each hand. I flatten my tongue out and lick him as I would an ice-cream before I part my lips to take him into my mouth completely. I start off sucking gently, teasing him with little flutters of my tongue and a nip now and then with my teeth. Each draws a different sound from the Scout. I hear him trying to formulate words and catch his breath. I slow my ministrations enough for him to start making mildly coherent words. As soon as he catches his breath however, I take him fully into my mouth, launching his pelvis forward with my hands gripping his ass. I chuckle as I hear him revert back to simple vowel and consonantal sounds. He is at my complete mercy and that makes me feel on top of the world. Scout is mine. Granting his member access past my gag reflex, I feel his cock start to throb so I continue sucking harder and harder, urging him to come. It wasn’t long before his release spills into my mouth, the taste of his seed taking precedence over the delicious taste of blood. Swallowing, I sit back up, declawing my grip on the boy’s buttocks as well. He has this stupid grin plastered on his face as I reach over to caress his cheek.
I really like this and I want you to continue. I especially like your characterization of Medic- you don't know what he's gonna do next. He's batshit crazy, but still seductive. It's a good balance for this fic and I can't wait to see where you take it.
WELL GEE. I had a wicked busy week, but I wish I hadn't missed this- it would have made the whole thing easier. This trips both my guro switch and my Latin medical terminology kink. Well done. Do write more, soon.
Annnnnd here's an update! I couldn't decide what should happen to Scout so I made a list of terrible things that would be fun to write and made my friends pick a number and BAM. Of course they had to pick the most painful. Since it's a shorter chapter, I'm thinking of making the next update also from Scout's perspective. Thoughts on that? Thoughts in general? ALSO, endless gratitude to IBrotato for beta-ing this for me. ------------- Man, let me tell you. Getting your heart finger fucked isn’t as sexy as Medic makes it out to be. It fucking hurts. Like, a lot. I’m no pansy or anything, so of course I don’t cry, but I can’t help but gnaw through my lip. I’m covered in my own blood. Head to toe. So is Medic. How can I have so much blood? It’s all I can smell and all I can taste. I don’t mind licking a small scrape or cut and tasting my own blood or anything, but this amount is almost sickening. It’s literally a blood bath. I’m a bit repulsed by this amount of gore actually. I much prefer the look of beaten and bruised skin opposed to blood and guts. I decide to focus more on Medic and less on his deranged idea of sex. I look into his cold blue eyes as he caresses my cheek, unable to say much except pant “holy fuckâ€. Aside from the blood, this is the best fucking blow job I ever had in my whole fucking life. It even beats the one I got a few years ago when Demoman took me to a nearby town and got me a hooker for my birthday. “Kiss me Scout,†Medic’s blue eyes contrast the blood on his face and I carry my gaze to his lips and teeth. I extend my head up to reach him, our lips sliding messily from all the body fluids. I want nothing more than to be showered in Medic’s affection. I crave his lips and his closeness. I’m rather gleeful at the moment actually, grinning like a nut in a candy store from post-blowjob satisfaction. Ha. I made a pun. I’m so brilliant. Our teeth collide and I’m met by the faint taste of my own jizz. Now typically I cringe at the taste of my own jizz, but was a real nice change from the blood, I’ll admit that much. I try getting a better grasp on the Medic, my restraints moving to different parts of my arm. They aren’t chafing as much because of all the blood and they actually slide around rather well. It feels like a fucking century of kissing is swallowing me up. Medic seems quite content with just keeping things as they are, our make-out spanning an eternity. I want to break for air and my lip is swelling up uncomfortably and my back is hurting and Medic is refusing my tongue entry into his mouth and fucking fuckity faggbag I’m bored as shit. I want more than just kissing! Restless I start fidgeting with the soaking wet leathers of my restraints. I press it against the metal table and it squishes a bit, oozing a bit of blood from the dried up skin of cow. OH MY FUCKING GOD. I’m a fucking genius. I can probably slip my hands free of the restraints, the blood having expanded the leather and all. This means I can take charge again and make Medic my bitch! Fuck yes. The sudden excitement is arousing and I would love nothing more than another good shag, but the possibility of domination is pressing. I deepen the kiss between the Medic and I, trying to make sure he is too wrapped up in what my lips are doing then what my hands are. I scrape the restraints against the side of the operating table, pulling the leather tightly over my hands. It was a lot easier than I thought it would be and as soon as I heard the soft clank of the straps hitting the tableside I clamped my bucked teeth hard on Medic’s lower lip, not letting him go. The Medic freezes at the sound, shooting his eyes open. He tries yanking his face apart from mine, but his lips are at my mercy. I can’t help but smile at him as he glares at me. It was a quick struggle for control; Medic trying to pry his lips free and fumbling at my wrists with his slippery hands, me reaching as fast as I possibly can into his front shirt pocket for his scalpel. It’s obvious who wins the race. As victor, I release his lips from my teeth and headbut Medic, breaking his nose with a loud crunch, “Gott ficken verdammt!†It seems Medic really doesn’t handle well with the element of surprise. Trying to chuckle but failing, I have to take a few deep breaths realizing I’m feeling incredibly light headed. Medic immediately sits up holding his nose, blood gushing down and mixing with mine. I laugh weakly, grabbing his wet sticky tie and yanking him back down to my level, shakily holding the scalpel like a dagger against his neck, panting, “Heal me bitch.†“Fick dich, du meine Nase gebrochen!†he spat in anger, his eyes full of fury and pain. I press the tip of the scalpel into his neck, puncturing him as he snarls at me, eyes squinting, “I said heal me bitch, or I’ll knock you out and do it myself!†For extra emphasis I glare back at him, baring my teeth. I prey to Ma that Medic believes my bluff and that my exhaustion isn’t obvious. I’m a fuckin’ force of nature, man! Nature is tough. Nature doesn’t get tired and nature sure as hell doesn’t pass out. The blood from Medic’s nose drips onto my neck and it tickles a bit, annoying me. Tears were escaping the Medic’s infuriated eyes, probably from the sting of the break. I know that feeling quite well. Had my nose broken almost every week. Still, I made the Medic cry. Smug with satisfaction, I wink at him. Some of Medic’s blood pours down his neck from where I have the scalpel stabbing him and I feel his muscles tense. He’s super pissed. I sport an evil smile, he’s only mad because he knows I have him in a chokehold. Either he heals me and we get along with the sex, or I knock him out and do terrible things to him in the name of ‘because I can’. There’s only one possible option Medic would see however, and that is obvious: obey. He takes a deep breath through his mouth before speaking, “Fine.†I feel victorious. I still hold the scalpel to his neck with one hand though, releasing the tie and wrapping my arm around his neck, “Ready whenever you are, Doc.†Medic does his best to bring me to a sitting position, slipping a bit from all the blood. I rest close to his chest, my ribs protruding and shuddering at the pain of my organs shifting and threatening to spill out, “You’ll have to let go of me Schatz, if you vant me to unstrap your legs.†His voice is eerily calm so I jerk my eyes up to see his face. He still looks visibly pissed to me. “If I let go, I’m gonna be a pile of goo! Heal me first.†I demand. “No.†“Yes.†“Nein.†“Ya-huh.†“Scout, you’ll be able to hold yourself up better than this if I unstrap you. That way I am also free to move out of the Mediguns way so it can properly heal you.†I look at him with bewilderment. I am suspicious as hell, but I just want to get the fuck off the table. “Kay, whatever. Just do it quickly.†I reluctantly remove the scalpel from his neck and he rests me back on the table, letting my elbows prop me up. I let him get off the table to unstrap my legs and I pay some attention to my guts. My heart was still bleeding a lot from where he cut it and my organs were coated in a very shiny and thick layer of red. They didn’t look as sexy as they did prior to Medic’s tinkering, but they still looked cool. Except for all the blood. That part is nauseating. I watch my heart pound in its spot for a while, easily hypnotised with its repetition. My entire body feels tingly, sore and aroused. It isn’t an unusual combination for me, but it has never been this intense. I casually wonder what I taste like. Betcha I taste like a fuckin’ gourmet meal. I looked back up when I heard the clang of the straps hitting the tableside. Medic smiled at me, seeming to have calmed down. His nose and neck were back to normal too. He must have stolen some of my healing juices while I wasn’t looking! I could barely wait to be healed. Then I could slide off this table, stab Medic again and get some well deserved revenge fucking. Medic fidgets with the Medigun for a while, pushing buttons and such and I cross my legs to balance myself better, smiling back at the blood coated German. It was a good look for him. Before he heals me with the Medigun however, Medic walks up to me and snatches the scalpel from my grasp, “Didn’t your Mutter teach you to ask nicely before playing vith zhe toys of ozzers?†There was a loud clang on the silver tray he kept his tools on as he slammed the blood covered scalpel down. And out of the corner of my eye I watch him grab another needle. Oh for the love of all fucking shag carpets, not again. I fall onto my side facing away from the insane doctor, trying to escape the needle that I know is after me. Some of my intestines slop onto the table and I scream in horror. Instead of a prick however, I feel his strong hands at my side. They begin to pull at me, and at first I’m relieved at his rescue, but then I notice he’s trying to roll me over onto my belly. I struggle under his grasp, trying to move away from him, screaming and cursing at him. I don’t want to be poked by another needle or have my guts fall out; I just want to be back to normal. My hands grip the side of the table and I try kicking off with my legs, not really thinking about much else other than escape. “Vhat do you zhink you’re doing exactly, Trottel? You can’t just get up und valk avay. I need to heal you.†I want to believe him, but his sinister chuckle accompaniment told me I am going to be in a lot more pain before my body felt anywhere close to healing. His persistence and strength manages to overcome me and I wind up with my ass in the air, chest (if you can even call it that now) on the table and my guts... I bite my lip and groan in pain. My guts shift and I feel them hit the table with a wet slap. I think I screamed. My ears were ringing with shrill high pitched bells. Oh god somebody make it stop. Medic. I groaned, panting weakly, ‘Doc..†I barely feel the prick of a needle in my ass, but after a few seconds I begin to feel less panicked. My guts were still spilled onto the cold operating table though. My protruding ribs and forearms the only thing keeping me from being flat on my face. I feel a surge of energy and all the pain in my body suddenly vanishes. I think I am completely conscious; breathing was a difficult task though, considering my lungs were anywhere but where they were supposed to be. I hear the clanging and shifting of a body behind me and suddenly the Medic’s hands gently and carefully pull my underwear off me entirely.
Aaah, the gore. The delicious gore. I devour all of it. This ended up being far better than I thought it woud. Mmmmm...