Alright. First fan fiction I ever wrote. I really hope this goes well, since I’d like to do more of these in the future. This is a very long read, so make sure you have the time to get invested with this. Well, here I go. ---------- It was a snowy day, since the fight took place at ColdFront, and everyone needed some warmth and refreshing from the long battle. The Engineer didn’t have it as bad as some others, like Scout who was badly frost-bitten on he legs, and the Demoman was weeping over his frozen whiskey, since he needed that numb feeling only the whiskey could bring to him. None the less, Engineer needed to get comfortable with himself to bear the long ride back to the base. He was packing his things up in his bright red toolbox, when all the sudden Soldier appeared. “Hey, maggot, nice job in the field. I hope you’re not terribly frost bitten like some of the others here, since we got a long day ahead of us tomorrow.â€, Soldier said. “Naw, I’m juss fine. Thanks for askin’, though.â€, replied Engineer. Engineer liked Soldier. Maybe it was because he was the only other American in the team, but his confidence and courage on the battlefield were supearb. Thank GOD it seemed Soldier liked him, too, or else his Sentury Guns wouldn’t last a MINUTE, and that thought made him cringe. “You alright?â€, Soldier asked? Not aware of his physical reaction, Engineer replied: “Wha? Oh, yeah, I’m alright. No need to worry ‘bout me.†With that, Soldier left with a good bye, and Engineer was once again by himself. He wondered if any of this war was important enough where young men are getting injured, then pain stakingly revived with Respawn, or maybe lucky and healed by a nearby Medic, when he isn’t healing Heavy. Finally, he finished his packing and boarded the bus, along with everyone else on the RED team, and rode back to the main base. As tired everyone was, they ate a storm at dinner, Heavy eating a little TOO much, and everyone out casted the Heavy for being a pig, and he ran away, not knowing the possibility of eating to much food that he had to share. Medic sighed, and ran after him. Engineer just sat quietly, wondering if the Heavy and Medic had time to do things together. Things he himself wanted to experience, but was to shy to ask anyone else. He considered himself straight, but in reality, he wondered how long he could tell himself that with a straight face. When he was feeling especially lonely, he fantasized about some of the other team members, and he didn’t know why. “I’m a grown man!â€, he would think. “I thought I got out of this phase as a teenager!â€, he said to himself. But here he was, masturbating to the thought of getting it on with the most muscular of men, ESPECIALLY the Soldier. He was easily the sexiest on the team, both in his personality; confident, dominant, and assured, but also his body; Muscular and defined. He was ashamed to be thinking these things when he was there, since he didn’t want to make the others feel un-comfortable when he got aroused, so he had to hide himself during the battle near check points, which he didn’t mind, but GOD it got boring. Few team mates saw him during battle, and by this point the enemies knew him better than the team mates themselves. He especially felt shy around Soldier, and would try to make his conversations short, because he didn’t want to look un-sure around someone like him. After a while of thinking, the Engineer was snapped back into reality when the bell rang. This point, the team could either turn in early, or do other things like read, play cards, or go out for a smoke. Soldier, Demoman, and Sniper went right to poker, the Heavy and Medic were discussing something, Engineer wasn’t the kind to eavesdrop, so he just ignored them, then Scout, Pyro, and Spy all went for smokes. Pyrodidn’t smoke, but he was the only one who always had a full lighter, so that’s why he always goes out. Engineer felt left out, since he really just didn’t have much to say when he wasn’t rilled up, like on the battlefield. So, he just went to the fridge, grabbed a beer, and went to his room for another few hours of thought, and maybe some magazine reading to get him sleepy. Soldier noticed how quiet, and some-what bleak the Engineer looked. He wasn’t one for feelings, but if this prevented Engineer from doing good, he had to do SOMETHING about it. “Boys, I think I’m going to stop playing for now.â€, and threw his cards on the table. “Wha, ‘ou gotta do somethin’ else more impor’nt than ‘is?â€, asked the Sniper in dissaproval. “Ya, wha’s the big deal?â€, the Demoman joined in with. “Look, gentlemen, as much as I love a good game of poker, I gotta take care of something, or else I’m not gonna get any sleep tonight.â€, said the Soldier in a firm tone. “You wanka. Fine, do you INCEADIBLEY imort’n thing.â€, said the Sniper. Demoman just had a slightly confused look on his face, and look back at his cards. Soldier went over to Engineer’s door and knocked. Soldier was accepting of the Engineer because he was the only one who had his head straight out of all the other team members. Spy and Sniper seemed nothing more than hitmen, Scout had a huge ego, Heavy and Medic worked exclusively with each other, and Demoman was a decent person, just drunk all the time, which made it hard to have serious conversation with him. Pyro didn’t even speek proper English with his mask on, so he really couldn’t judge his character outside of being...well...a Pyromaniac. If Engineer had to go any of those ways, Solider would be all alone, so he decided to see what’s going on with good ol’ Engie, maybe he just needs someone to talk to. Engineer was busy trying to make his radio unit get even further receiving distance, so he could listen to some Country or Southern Rock. By God, he missed that music. It was the only thing keeping him sane at this point. He heard a knocking. and quickly turned his head to the door. He never got visitors, so this was unexpected, especially with the fact the other team members were probably focused on other activities to bother with Engineer. He opened the door, and by surprise, Soldier was in front of him, sexy as ever. Engineer wasn’t anywhere prepared for this, so he was blank on how to respond. “Soldier? What’re you doin’ here?â€, asked the Engineer. “Private...are you doing okay?â€, asked the Soldier. “Uh...Yeah, I’m doing fine. Why do you ask?â€, the Engineer replied. “It seems like you’re especially quiet today. What’s on your mind, maggot?â€, the Soldier firmly asked. The Engineer looked down in silence, then looked to the left and right, seeing if anyone was around. “You here for the intention of a laugh?†“What? No, no. I may be hard on you maggots, but I’m serious right now.â€, replied Soldier. The Engineer was not trustworthy of many people, but he does have a soft spot for Soldier, so he decides that maybe he can trust him this time. “Come on in.†“Oh, okay. Sure.â€, said Soldier. Engineer’s room wasn’t small, but it wasn’t big, either. It had room for one bed, a desk, a bathroom, and his equipment. The bed was made, but his desk was a mess of tools, nuts, bolts, and blue papers. His radio was sitting there, and he had a can of oil next to it, just in case he needed to make something smoother. He also had a closet for his clothes and toolbox for the field. He had a few uniforms, but the had to sometimes go to the laundry room, wearing nothing but boxers and a white beater. He had plenty of spares if he ever got his shirts messy, which didn’t happen because he was VERY neat with his work. He sat down on his bed with a knot in his stomach, because he really felt nervous about what he was going to say. Soldier took a seat in the chair near the desk space. “Soldier, how acceptin’ are you of other sexualities?â€, the Engineer finally asked. Soldier was dumb founded. He honestly didn’t know what to think. He got a lot of looks from women, but he brushed them aside, since none of them were particularly interesting. A bunch of sluts, he thought. But a guy doing the same to him? He just didn’t know. He honestly just didn’t try to look when he was ever showering with a lot of other men, he just kept everything to himself. He tried to the best of his abilities not to sound to mean about it, because all he wants is to make sure Engineer is right in the head. “Umm, I don’t really think badly of it. Why? Is there something you’re hiding form us, Engie?â€, said Soldier. Engineer got aroused when Soldier called him by that name, he didn’t know why, either. It was just...sexy. He had to keep himself from getting distracted, so he focused on the response. “Well, that’s good. You see, when I was a teenager, I had a phase. I had this phase where maybe I didn’t like JUST girls. Maybe, maybe I like other guys, as well. But that was a while ago, and I thought I got over it a long time ago, too. “ Soldier really wasn’t liking where this was going. He didn’t mind homosexuality so much, but he didn’t know that many gay people, so he really didn’t know how to respond to this sudden change with the Engineer. “Engie, I really hope you can get a hold of your emotions right now, because sexuality can REALLY be distracting on the battlefield, and if I see you messing up out there because of emotions other than anger, this isn’t going to fly.†Engineer was really getting turned on by Soldier’s attitude now. He also couldn’t stop staring at how sexy he looked in his shirt. Soldier wore regular pants, a white t-shirt, and a helmet that covered half his face. His muscle outlines were showing against his shirt, and this made Engineer even more aroused. Now Engineer was wondering if it was a good idea to bring Soldier in his room in the first place. He couldn’t handle it anymore. He had to say it. “Soldier, I don’t know how you’re gonna feel about this, but I’m gay for you! I think you’re sexy and confident, and HANDSOME, I mean, seriously, YOU’RE FUCKING HOT!†The Engineer now winced at how stupid he must have sounded, and blushed with embarrassment. Soldier was speechless. He was in a state of mind where he couldn’t move. A team mate liking another one? It was confusing, and he had to figure out his emotions before he got into more trouble. “...Engie? How long has this been going on for?†“A good month.â€, Engineer replied. “...Oh shit.â€, Soldier said.(Looks like you're underaged too, kid. Sorry. Come back when you're 18.)
...what the hell did I just read? I'm not even gonna try to poke at this one, I'll let someone with more experience break this crap down. I will say, though, that it's one of the most ridiculously OOC Engies I've ever read - I don't think he'd just bust out a "you're fucking hot", and then get all blushy like some silly anime schoolgirl. Solly was pretty bad, too.
“Soldier, I don’t know how you’re gonna feel about this, but I’m gay for you! I think you’re sexy and confident, and HANDSOME, I mean, seriously, YOU’RE FUCKING HOT!†The Engineer now winced at how stupid he must have sounded, and blushed with embarrassment. No. Everything about this paragraph is no. Actually, everything about this fic is no. I’m not even sure if you’re trolling us. It could be a very subtle attempt, with parts like this: As tired everyone was, they ate a storm at dinner, Heavy eating a little TOO much, and everyone out casted the Heavy for being a pig, and he ran away, not knowing the possibility of eating to much food that he had to share. Also, entire team is high school girl clique: Soldier, Demoman, and Sniper went right to poker, the Heavy and Medic were discussing something, Engineer wasn’t the kind to eavesdrop, so he just ignored them, then Scout, Pyro, and Spy all went for smokes. Pyrodidn’t smoke, but he was the only one who always had a full lighter, so that’s why he always goes out. Engineer felt left out, since he really just didn’t have much to say [...] And Sniper the Dyslexic Assassin: “You wanka. Fine, do you INCEADIBLEY imort’n thing.â€, said the Sniper. If this is a genuine attempt at a fic, though, I wouldn’t even know where to start with it. You need to get a much better understanding of the characters, the time in which the game is set (1968, before ‘gay’ became commonly synonymous with ‘homosexual’), dialogue, and over-all story writing. Start out by reading other fics on this site with many positive reviews to get a feeling for how to pull off a decent fic, watch the ‘Meet The’ videos to improve your characterisations, play the game. Then try again. Everyone sucks the first time.
I...I...I can't bother explaining like the other one I did. Read other fictions before you decide to post up yours. OOCness is rather...bad to wander into especially for the TF2 Characters if they're not OCs, it is frowned upon a believe.
>>2 >>3 >>4 I am genuinely sorry. This was a first attempt, and I spent a little to much time not looking over how...cliche this got. I probably should have lurked more to get a good idea on what makes a good fic. and what breaks a fic. Again, deepest apologies.
If only banning you wouldn't feel like an abuse of my power. Well played, maggot. You may have one this battle, BUT YOU WILL NOT WIN THE WAR.
I am only going to assume that I should NOT continue this. If this is final, then I will delete this, since I feel like I just turned TF2 into a high school anime. Not a good feeling.
Or could a mod just trash this?
>>7 It's okay to make mistakes when writing, as long as you acknowledge them. Don't be discouraged! The greatest thing I can recommend for you to do is to go to the Team Fortress 2 Wiki and just listen to sound files for a while. Make notes of how characters speak. That's the first step to figuring out their personality. You're dealing with a cast that mostly consists of middle-aged men. Think about what a person that old experiences, then compound it with a person's quirks. I get out of character from time to time as well. I think I write a little too softly, on occasion. The important thing is to preen each piece after you've written it, then do some self-reflection. It took me three years before I hit my stride. You'll have a bit of a maturation process to go through. Keep this saved, then work as hard as you can. Think of it as a tick on the wall marking your height right now. Then grow.
>>7 Have a pat on the back. You have obtained knowledge the hard way. The hard painful, but good for you way. Like a tetanus shot to the face.
>>8 I could if it really is causing you distress/anxiety. I do have one thing to say first though. As embarrassing as our mistakes can be, we learn when we don't forget them. As much as I couldn't get through your fic, the fact that there were two Engie x Solly fics with poor execution and reception leads me to believe that folks who are new to this ship don't understand the appeal and dynamic and the characters themselves. It's hard to stomach a shy Engineer or a soft Soldier if not handled with care. I would kind of rather leave this here as an example of what doesn't work so other folk wanting to write this pairing can take notes so the next fics are better for it. The chan, while at times harsh and unforgiving, is really intended to put folksthrough a trial by fire from which you grow creatively. And it's hard to grow when you bury your head in shame when you get it wrong, pretending it never happened. It's better to keep your misfires around so you don't make the same ones next time. But like I said, if it bothers you that much, I can see about deleting your thread.
>>9 >>10 Thank you very much for your words of encoragement. When I get a second wind, I'll take the time and learn how these characters work and tick. >>11 You can keep it up. If it helps others see what NOT to do, then it's fine by me.
Just gonna pop in here, and say my peice before this dies. I agree with everyone, this is a little out of character, and there were a great number of paragraphs that were beyond logic or too anime. But your story was easy to follow, and I mean it just played right out in my head. I got everything you were trying to show, there was no confusion throughout most of the story. Also, The way you made Soldier casually insult engie in a bro-like manner was a nice perk, I rarely see that. And to the rest of you: I'm suprised at the amount of maturity on this thread, although I should not be, because I've been here long enough to know you are all smart people. Just wanted to let you know that I apreciate the maturity here, that's all.
Had some sleuthing done. Doing a search on KittehClaws e-mail turned up a Deviantart page. It's highly suspected that Ace here is a friend of theirs too, which would explain why those two fics showed up around the same time. I don't want to post your Deviantart accounts here out of protection, but it doesn't look like either of you are older than 15. Because this site has porn, we really can't have folks under the age of 18 here for our own legal protection. So I'm afraid I'm gonna have to ban Ace as a precaution. Sorry, guys.
Looks like the party is over, but... dammit. What's with all these kids trying to write my OTP as blushing gakuen bishies who don't know how to handle their questions about penises. Somebody should write up some proper Solly/Engie to lick the wounds of disappointed shmucks like me who got their hopes up twice. If nobody else does I will try to, but I already have two WIPs and don't think that highly of myself.
It's a shame to see someone's first attempt at doing a fanfiction turn into such a mess. I mean, he got banned because of bad timing. It's possible that he could've been under-aged, but damn. What a way to go for someone just trying this out. I know that it lines up pretty well, posted at the near same time of this other poster, VERY anime writing (alluding that this could indeed be a 13-15 year old writer), and generally amateur themes, stuff a teenager would go through versus a grown man. I know this site has some fairly high standards, and you guys are bound to the law, but still. What a way to go.
Should I feel bad for laughing like an idiot while I read this? 'Cause I totally did.
>>17 No, this was pretty damn funny, to be honest.
Fun ban! But anyways, I got motivation once again for a fic., but I'm letting this one develop before I upload it. Just seems like a good idea to be honest.(Underaged users are STILL not allowed.)
>>19 NO. I banned you because you were suspected to be underage. The chan had an issue with our ban system that has been resolved, and just because your ban got lifted does not mean that you are allowed to continue to use this website unless you have some solid proof you are 18 or older. Produce this evidence, or get out. We can't have underaged kids here.