I'm adding this to the 'stories that are entirely too silly what is wrong with me'. Based on a short conversation I had with a friend and clearly not meant to be taken in any serious fashion. We've got four characters with accents here. I tried to make them as basic as possible. Gentlemen Prefer Yellow “But what the fuck is it?†Scout, who was sitting on a crate in Resupply post round and twirling what looked a little like some kind of yellow lacy headband around one finger, was posing the question. He’d found it on the floor when he’d respawned after that last rocket to the face and, having nothing better to do, had decided to pester Sniper with this new philosophical quandary. “Like, I think my Ma wears stuff like this,†he went on. “Py finally decided to admit he’s got tits?†Sniper- forced downstairs via Texan Guilt Trip- made sure his bolt slid without a single hitch before replying, “Why the hell would I know?†“Yeah what the fuck ever.†Scout noticed that the item around his finger was coming close to the tip, about to fly off. He tugged it back down and continued. “So, seriously, Longshanks, what the hell is it?†“I don’t bloody know,†Sniper replied, bringing the gun up so that he could see if his scope needed adjusting. “why’er you askin’ me?†“Because it’s lacy.†“Yeh, so wot?†“So it sure as hell ain’t –mine-.†“You sure about that?†Scout reached for his bat. Sniper rolled his eyes and set his rifle carefully across his lap. “I don’t feckin’ know ask Truckie.†“Yeah right he’d probably turn red and then die of embarrassment an’ southern propriety an’ what the fuck ever an’ then respawn an’ tell me he’ll build a machine to tell me about it.†Scout sighed. “Bet it’s the frog’s.†“You are mistaken, petit.†Scout jumped and whirled around. “God fuckin’ DAMN IT Frenchie!†Spy chuckled and lit a fresh cigarette. “A little jumpy today, are we, mon ami?†“Jumpy my ass gonna break your face in you freakin-†“So. Where did you get ze garter?†Both Sniper and Scout looked at him like he had four heads. Spy sighed. “Ze garter? Ze feminine delight?†he neatly moved forward and snatched the thing off of Scout’s finger. “Hm. Not mine. Too..†he looked for a word. “Tame.†Scout paled. “Aw, -dude- I did not need to know you did drag. You got a stage name? Is it gay?†“As a matter of fact, petit, your muzzer and I were discussing just such a zing.†Scout broke off into a stream of profanity. Sniper rolled his eyes and stood. “Did you have to get him started?†“Tell me, bushman, did you ‘ave any idea what eet was?†Sniper fell silent. “I did not zink so. Clearly, a garter.†Spy blew a smoke ring at Scout, who gestured rudely at him and waved his bat in what was probably meant to be a threatening manner, but looked more like he was swatting at flies. “But unless someone ‘as brought a woman onto ze base- and believe me, I would ‘ave known-†“Don’t even know what a girl’s parts look like you-†Scout yelped as he was neatly shoved off the box. Spy sat in the suddenly vacated spot, twisting the garter on a finger and somehow managing to make it look that much better. “-zen I am forced to assume-†“Herr Spy?†Everyone looked up. It was Medic. “Oh you found it!†he said. “Danke.†Scout blanched. “..found..?†Sniper appeared to have closed for the evening. “Oui, Docteur. Apologies for not getting eet to you sooner.†Spy was smiling like a cat who had let the canary go the first time in order to get a better look at its friends. “No problem. One of zese days Respawn vill actually like french lace.†Medic took the garter from Spy, rolled it with the utmost affectionate care, and put it in a pocket. “…yellow, Docteur?†Spy asked. “Heavy prefers yellow.†And with that, Medic was gone. Captcha: Livefor 255. what's happening at two fifty five?