[ inception ] [ fanfic / afanfic ] [ dis / trade / srs / projects / 3d / fanart / afanart / oek / tits / rpg / dumps / cosplay ] [ offtopic / vg / zombies / gay / resources / upl ]
Return Entire Thread

1 .

Ohhh this shall be fun. Hello fic I'll be stalking!

Just an observation - you seem to switch from past to present tense multiple times in the first 3 paragraphs, I would pick one and stick with it (which overall you were using past tense especially by the end). Even with first person you ought to stick to one tense.