A good going-over by a beta or an editor would rip this to pieces for the grammar, spelling and punctuation alone. You need a proofreader, at the very least. As it stands, it sounds like a Babelfish job. On failures of suspension of disbelief, let me just say that unless the top is a male canine, the penis cannot get stuck in that way. If it got in in the first place (let's not go into the saliva-as-lube fallacy either), it will come out. My facepalm hand is itching something awful.