A belated 'thanks, you guys' for the last feedback. Anyway, taking another request, so this thread's coming back (I'm sure y'all can guess what pairing this will end up with...) so I can write this puppy up: So I have a request which may or may not be terrible? So I have a thing for romantic bullshit. And for Spy. And born from this came this idea: Spy is regularly used by the members of his team for his disguising ability: they ask him to disguise as the target of their affection, or maybe just some hot young thang (perhaps female?) and Spy is eventually sick of this... UNTIL ONE DAY he is propositioned by someone (probably on his team?), and Spy is shocked to hear that not only do they not want him to use a disguise, they want him to take off his balaclava because they have a (longstanding?) crush on Spy. There would be a romantisplosion of rainbows and unicorns and dicks. And that is my awful idea. ~~~ Proxy ~~~ It begins when they send the Spy a new disguise kit-- 'Not To Be Used In Battle', the note accompanying it. 'Prototype'. A second note explains the problems in using these particular disguises during combat; Unlike the kit he regularly employs, his own team will not be able to see through these. Furthermore, the new masks include copies of his own team, as well as the REDs, and even a few generic 'civilian' faces, male and female. Instead of the full masks of his working kit, these cover only half the face. He could smoke, or even eat and drink, without having to remove them... He gets a kick out of it, rereading the note and slipping into a blonde woman's face. Fooling his own team? The disguise may be useless on the battlefield, but for having a little fun on a dull base... Spy strolls into the common lounge, laughs quietly to himself at the way an uneven number of eyes bulge at his entrance, the Scout and the Demoman practically drooling, the others merely shocked. The Engineer and the Pyro both inscrutable behind dark lenses. A shame the Sniper is off on his own, the Spy thinks. He would have liked to get everyone's reaction at once. After the men have gaped long enough, he pulls the domino mask off with a flourish and shows it around, to a mixture of disappointed groans and scientific interest. "They sent me the prototype, even though it will be useless on the field. Customer feedback program." He shrugs. "You should have seen your faces..." "Don't have to be useless on the field..." The Engineer takes it, turns it over in his hands. "Not that I studied disguise technology much, but I'd take a look-see... If I could compare it to one of the old model, I might be able to work something out, even." "Not that one!" The Scout says, too quickly. "I... I mean..." Spy smirks down at him. "Oh, you like her, petit?" "Shut up." "Here." The Spy digs out the Engineer's own face from the prototype kit, and then the RED Scout-- a disguise he rarely employs for practical purposes anyway. "Any improvements you can make will be welcome." ---/-/--- That night, when the knock on his door comes, he expects the Scout. He is, therefore, slightly surprised to see the Demoman standing nervously in the hall. "Can I help you?" "Ah... You remember th'other week...? In the mess, ah..." Spy remembers, mentioning his own flexible sexuality over dinner, mostly to see how many spit takes he could get, though he had not been above gauging interest. No one had approached him since then, but... that was before he could look like a woman for them. He feels a little pang at that, something sick and bitter, but lets it go. "I just... I've nae been with a lass in a long time, and... Ye might not have seen yourself, but..." "Yes, according to the brochure, she is a looker." He smirks. "They call the model 'Sharon'..." "Do a favour for a lonely man..." He considers it. It could be fun, just for an evening. It might have its benefits, giving out a little relief-- might make for a happier and more productive demolitions expert in the field come Monday morning... On the other hand, the man smells strongly of hard cider and desperation. And disguising himself as a woman to submit to teammates who would never look at him otherwise chafed, it felt... cheap. "What is in it for me?" He lets the other man into his room. "... What do you want?" He shrugs. "If I think of something you can do for me later, I guess I'll let you know." The Demoman smiles hopefully. Spy slips the half mask on and affects a throaty-but-feminine tone. "And what would you like from me, Monsieur?" He has to push the other man off to avoid a kiss with its own alcohol content, but the slight is forgotten as soon as he drops to his knees. 'Sharon' has a great skill for blowjobs, and some very flattering things to say about the specimen at hand. ---/-/--- The next night, it is the Scout. "Demo said you could, uh, do a guy a favor..." Scout tries for nonchalance and fails. "What day is it today? Sunday?" He glances at his desk calender, more for show than out of need. "Fine. I shall remove your pesky virginity for you, and in exchange, you will not bother me again for a solid week-- I do not mean just for sex, I mean you will not be annoying, in my presence, for seven entire days. Do you think you can do this?" "Of course I can! And I ain't no virgin! But, um... It's kinda hard to get much action out here, so... I mean, it's not queer if you look like a girl, right?" "I guess not." Spy sighs. He slips the mask on and uses the voice he's already adopted for his female disguise. It is not as easy to flatter the Scout without laughing, but he manages a few sweet nothings. "Oh man... This is freaking hot, baby..." Scout paws at him, hand going through the projected breast and hitting the Spy's chest. "Uh... That's weird." "They're not real, boy." He cuts through, in his own voice. "You cannot touch them. Just lie back." Scout nods and does so. Afterward, Spy shoves him out into the hall. "You are fast." Scout bites his tongue. He's already promised to be nice for a week. But in eight days, he's gonna have some comebacks for that one. ---/-/--- It is a surprise when the Soldier knocks on his door, but perhaps it shouldn't be. Spy takes out 'Sharon' again. "I assume you are missing female companionship?" "What? No! We are running a war here, not a brothel, missy! Take that hussy off!" "Well, this is a pleasant surprise." Spy smirks, tucking it away. "In that case, to what do I owe the pleasure? You wish to talk tactics?" "No, I... I... Look, no queer stuff! I just wanna talk. And not to some girly face. But I-- I can't just-- I miss--" After a strangled moment of being unable to find the words, he devolves into smacking himself in the helmet repeatedly with his shovel. "Who do you need?" Spy puts a hand on his arm. "Tavish..." He whispers. "The drunken RED cyclops? That is your type?" "I said no queer stuff, he's-- He was-- my friend, except..." Spy sighs and dons the appropriate mask. "All right. Why don't you practice apologizing to me?" "He'll never forgive me." "Enough alcohol and I'm sure it won't be a problem. I mean... Och aye, laddie, what did ye want to say to me?" He has, perhaps, done too good a job. The Soldier bursts into tears and throws himself onto the Spy. "I am sorry for killing you all those times! It was the biggest mistake of my life!" "There, there. I also cut your head off and... made some mistakes. Some time we will go do friend things again and it will be all right... Try not to crush me!" A sloppy, beer-flavored kiss follows, something apparently exempt from the banner of 'queer stuff'. He has to cuddle the Soldier for the better part of the night, while trying to sound inebriated, Scottish, and conciliatory, but a blowjob is never requested. ---/-/--- Having given the Engineer his own face to tinker with gave the Spy his first excuse to avoid impersonating one of his own teammates-- and saved him from having to make love to the Pyro, a thing he could not quite conceive of doing. But he did not have to examine the morals of such an action, it was a question of being unable to comply with the request. When the Medic comes to him, he does not have that excuse. "I would... I would have to think about it. I am not so sure that I am... that I am comfortable, doing this." "That... that is fine. I suppose I could have expected rejection." The Medic pushes his glasses up, glances away. "The others asked for the woman, she is no one. I have even impersonated the enemy, and even then it was not... there was no sex. I think it might be... messy, to take the part of a member of the team. You understand. I will give it some more thought, but... Even I must draw a line someplace." "That is fine, really. Besides... It would be a purely visual illusion. I would not have the feel of him." He does consider it, though, when the Medic has gone. The Doctor is not unappealing... certainly closer to the Spy's own type than the Scout, too young and too inexperienced to have a very good time with-- at least, when impersonating a woman. But it would be equally fruitless to become too attached, knowing the man is already hopelessly in love with another. There is another knock at his door, an hour later. Too early in the week for the Scout to be back, the Soldier had been avoiding his eye since his own visit... The Heavy is standing out in the hall, when Spy opens the door. "Spy... Hear you have been... helping, some of team with... personal things?" "You are here for the blonde?" He sighs, suddenly so much wearier. "Prefer redheads. But... more than that, prefer... other man." "You didn't come to me when I first said I was amenable." Spy challenges. "No. Is... man in particular. Doktor." "Then why don't you go fuck him? He was here not an hour ago asking me to look like you. I told him I would think about it, but he'll be happier with the real thing." The Heavy pulls Spy into a crushing hug and kisses his cheek. "Spy is credit to team!" "You are welcome..." He wheezes. Once the big man is gone, he locks the door and does not answer anymore knocking for the rest of the night. ---/-/--- In the morning, there's a note, slid under his door. 'Spy. Wanted to talk to you, but guess I missed you. Always around either nest or van. Sniper' He crumples the note up, but then smooths it out again. Only fair, perhaps... he's favored all the others. The Engineer catches him before battle, but the news isn't good. There's not much that can be done to improve the prototype. Spy tells him he can keep working on it if he likes-- mostly, he doesn't want to have the Engineer's face in his pocket if the Pyro comes around again. When the battle is over, he climbs up to the Sniper's nest, catching him before he can come down. "You wanted to see me? Or... I suppose you've heard there is a rather convincing femme..." "No. I mean yes. I heard. I... Dammit." The Sniper blows out a sigh and removes his hat, running one hand over his hair. "Do you really like doing that?" "Sucking cock?" He raises an eyebrow. Sniper winces at the bluntness. Spy isn't sure whether to feel sorry or satisfied. "Pretending." "I like pretending fine." "But-- You got to know... Some people wouldn't need you to." "So you did not bring me here under the same pretense?" He crosses his arms. "You did not want her? Or is there another mask you would rather I wear for you?" "No." Sniper whispers. "No masks." "Very well... I suppose it would be nice, to be with someone who does not care what I look like for a change." "I care." This time Spy can barely hear him. "Then..." "Dunno what else there is to say about it. Just wanted you. Didn't think I had any chance 'til you mentioned liking men fine, even then I figured maybe you'd be... I mean, I'm not exactly..." "Not exactly what?" Spy's posture relaxes, he moves closer. "Sophisticated. Not too young or too handsome. Thought your tastes'd be more refined. Guess I hoped if... if you didn't mind with any of the others, maybe you'd go for me..." "I was rather sorry not to see you come around, actually..." He smiles. "When you didn't see the female disguise, I thought I missed my chance to make you look at me that way, but a part of me hoped the Scout's big mouth might send you my direction..." "It's the Demo you got to worry about, once he's drunk enough he runs his mouth something awful. Course, when he's drunk enough, he thinks he got lucky with a girl named 'Sharon'..." Spy snorts. "Wonderful. Then my work is done. But you... you really do not want any masks?" "Not even this one." He touches the balaclava lightly. "If you don't mind..." "I never take it off for anyone..." "Reckon I understand... Still. No harm in asking." Sniper smiles sadly. "Not like I can't see enough of you, just... always wondered, maybe." "I could take it off." Spy tugs the balaclava free. The look in the Sniper's eyes is worth the naked feeling. The way he's kissed would be reward enough for any vulnerability. Before he can go down on his knees, the Sniper is spreading a blanket out on the floor of the nest. "Lie down?" Spy does. He lets the other man undress him completely, revels in the feel of a mouth moving across his skin, in the feeling of being attended to instead of used. He loves the kisses, loves the hands roving over his body, firm and deliberate caresses that follow him perfectly instead of aiming at some projected image. "Fuck me," He moans. "Please, please, tell me you have something... I want you. I didn't give this to the others..." "Don't care what you gave the others. They didn't get this." Sniper whispers, his hand on Spy's cheek. "This is mine. This is what I wanted..." "Oui... This is fine, but please... tell me you also want my ass." "Well... I look at it from time to time." Sniper chuckles, squeezes him lightly. "Didn't really plan all this out, though." "You left me a note." Spy groans, his head falling back against the floor with a thud. "Also thought I'd strike out," Sniper reminds him. "If you'd looked for me in my van, I... Wait..." He fumbles through the small cache of things he's squirreled away in the nest, coming up with a bottle of mineral oil. "Mostly use it cleaning weapons, but..." "As long as it works," He pours a little out into one cupped palm and dips a finger in. "You tell me..." He starts with light touches that skirt the hole entirely, slowly working his way inward. "You like this?" He pushes in, crooks his finger. "Oui..." "Oh, you are a beauty..." Sniper bends his head down, drops a line of kisses along the Spy's thigh, down further, pressing one to his stomach. "Thought about this about a million times... what it'd be like if you could want me too..." "I do, I want you, I want more..." "Good." He has one of Spy's legs thrown up over his shoulder now, and he turns his head to kiss the back of the other man's knee. "I'm gonna give it to you." He keeps whispering, keeps kissing, as he prepares them both, but once he's inside, he loses the words, can only gasp and groan and thrust. After, he holds the Spy close, kisses up his neck, kisses his cheek and his lips. "Love you," He mutters, pulling him in even tighter for just a second, before letting him go entirely. "I..." Spy sits. "'S all right, if you don't say it back. Didn't expect you to mean it." "It would be easy to say, if I didn't." He reaches back, stroking the Sniper's face. "It is only because I am unsure. I have said many things I did not mean in my time. No one has ever made me doubt the inherent emptiness of pillow talk before." "I don't say things I don't mean." "I know... But I... I do not say the things I do mean. D'accord?" "That's fine." Sniper smiles, lazy. Just like that, it is. ---/-/--- Monday evening, Scout does not even pretend, merely bounces into the common lounge, where Spy and Sniper are sharing the battered loveseat, each reading his own book. Scout skids to a stop in front of Spy and rubs the back of his neck. The others are around, but he knows they've all been down the hall for whatever their own reasons were. "So." He says. "It's been a week. Could I, um, bother ya again?" Sniper tenses. "I'm sorry." Spy pastes a bland smile on. "The prototypes are gone. Aside from the mask I left with the Engineer for... improving. I send the others back, with the product review. Didn't you know? That's how it works." "Sharon's gone?" Demo asks blearily, lifting his head. "Oh, I liked her..." "My apologies, gentlemen." Bland smile still in place, he turns back to his book. "Liar." Sniper whispers, smiling. "Would you change me?" Spy smirks. "Never." ~~~FIN~~~ (As a PS, Bria Valente's 'Here Eye Come' is really good music for writing porn to... I've had it on my computer for ages and never listened to it 'til it came up mid love-scene)