>>53 and >>54 Ah, my mistake. The one-shot line "once when he didn't stop I fainted" didn't exactly create a sweet and tender image, so I suppose reading it caused me to assume the worst. I didn't take any scientific aspects into consideration because, well...TF2. Half-bird-person fanfic. >>55 My favorite part about this scene has to be the flashback with Medic. The details about his grin and accent and hands really cinch his character. It's easy to picture him bragging and showing off his "creation" while being either dismissive or amused by the rest of the team's reactions. I gotta wonder what the "rules" he set for them are, and if he really has the Admin's endorsement or is just saying he does; either way will be good intrigue. Scout would absolutely be the first one to act ok about the whole thing. As for the Pyro him/her/itself...I'm ambivalent as to what to make of it. The first one-shot does a great job of making Pyro seem like a distant, personless mask to the captive who comes for momentary curious pleasure and then moves on; it succeeds so well I think you could've replaced Pyro's pronoun with "it" instead of "they." After the one-shot, it's strange to see that this personless mask is actually...kinda shy, and thinks of the captive primarily in how she relates to his/her own insecurities about appearance. But I guess even an insecure person would gain a sense of vague power when given a slave. If there's one complaint about the Pyro chapter, it's that the Pyro here seems almost entirely defined by insecurity. I can't see this Pyro dressing up as a devil or raising a flamethrower in the air while laughing like s/he has done in-game. Perhaps this chapter would be better if it combined the Pyro's insecurity with at least a more obvious pyromania. Minor style critique: I think the term "crunchy" in the line about the Medic's accent added an awkward rhythm to the sentence. Plus, it's difficult to imagine a capital letter as "crunchy."