I'm not sure how I feel about this; the writing seems sloppy and the plot and characterisation could use some work, but there isn't much Pyro being written around here and girl-on-girl is exceedingly rare in the fandom, so I'm having a hard time finding other fics with which to compare this. Also, lesbian sex is not really my thing, so I couldn't say if someone else would appreciate this better than myself. One thing I would say, though, is that your Danish is off (why even make BLU Pyro Danish in the first place? It seems strangely random). 'Rare' is used incorrectly, I'm guessing it's a Google Translation of 'dear'? - use 'kære' or 'kæreste' instead. Even so, it still sounds horribly stilted and unnatural. I feel very sorry for the Germans, French and Russians experiencing this off-putting awkwardness all over the fandom; this is my first time finding my native language in porn and well, no. Just, no.