>>2 Breathplay isn’t gore, biting or scratching your partner during sex isn’t gore. I’m not sure what your problem would be with this story? Either way, this is TF2chan and we notoriously never tag. Whether we should or not is a discussion for another thread. >>1 You know I always enjoy your stories, Marty, and I’m sorry to hear you lack confidence in your own writing when I always rush to read everything you post. I’ve told you this a dozen times, but you were the reason I started writing fanfiction and I still regularly look up your stories on Y! to read and recommend to others. What I enjoy most of all is your sheer range of kinks and honest approach to them. There’s never a hint of rebuke in your narrative; humour, yes, sometimes even comedy, but the characters’ fetishes are never cruelly played for laughs. That’s a level of respect (for your characters and your readers!) that’s all too rare in fanfiction, and it’s part of why I hold your work in such high regard. I know I have discovered a few kinks of my own through your fiction and I’m sure I’m not the only one! This story is no different. I like how much both Sniper and Medic are into their game, and how it is a game; they fight and fuck and then talk about it afterwards, each making sure his partner is okay after their romp. It speaks of genuine concern. The breathplay too was nicely written (by which I mean that I needed a moment alone after reading), not entirely safe as kinks go, but they do have respawn (just don’t try this at home, kids!). If there’s one point of constructive criticism I can offer you, it’s to add more exposition. Porn Without Plot is good, a quick snack to sate the worst cravings, but it isn’t as fulfilling as a full story. Just a hint of a background story would be nice sometimes, maybe clues to how the characters ended up together, how they discovered their shared kinks, their thoughts on what they’re doing. The last of the aforementioned in particular is something I usually enjoy in fics and which this one doesn’t have. Your narrative is from the point of view of a third-person observer, not one of the characters themselves. It might be (forgive me for dragging the gender debate into this) a male trait to prefer porn that reads like a (deliciously elaborate, mind you) transcript of an adult movie; women, according to a neat book on online sexuality I’ve recently read, prefer immersion in the characters’ minds, intimately knowing their thoughts and feelings. Since I’m a woman, it’s no surprise that I like a third-person limited narrator; however, the cinematic style of the third-person objective narrator can be used to good effect too (which you do). In the end, it’s an aesthetic choice; I just wanted to point it out in case it wasn’t one consciously made. All that being said (long post is long, sorry!), this was a very enjoyable read. Thank you for sharing!