Good morning. Aillia here to address some of your comments. == Anon1: Thank you. I'm pleased you enjoyed it. Maybe more will be written. I'm not sure yet. Anon3: Thanks. I thought about writing some penis bits in the story, but eventually I got tired of writing and just wanted to wrap everything up. Applecup: I'm sorry to hear that! Assist is certainly not a Brazilian maid. Yes, really. This piece isn't intended to be racist or sexist. Nor badly-written for that matter. It's unfortunate that it didn't suit your tastes. Hopefully you'll be able to find something better. Ashe: I'm not sure how many displays of a woman's period you get to see, but I'll take a crack at this. The "incredible overestimation" of Sniper's abilities isn't exactly all that important as I wasn't writing for realism in the least. It was a ridiculous tie-in to get to sex bits and I admit that. The thing with Assist is that when I was writing this, mulling over the basics for a few minutes, I didn't want to introduce that strong of a character. And let's face it, in the time that this story took place, the 50's-60's, women were considered to be only good for doing woman things. So, I suppose you could say that part of the story is pretty close to truth. I apologize for the annoyance you suffered, but blame the times. As for the sexism, again, this piece isn't meant to be sexist, nor is it a trollfic. (I wouldn't waste the time to write 12 pages.) And, honestly, it wasn't meant to be serious either. This was written in a day in the course of a few hours with no proofing and no rewriting of the content. Why? Because I didn't care to do so. As for learning more about women on their period... Firstly, Assist was never on her period in this piece. It was just an assumption, albeit a poor one, on Engineer's and the rest of the team's part. And the fact of the matter is men do jump to this conclusion, even if it is a bit sexist. I am a woman, Ashe. I know what it's like to be on a period, and whether you like to admit it or not, women rage on their period at small things and sometimes nothing at all. Certainly, not all women, but quite a large number of them. For heaven's sake, if you manage to get by on your period without being absolutely miserable, congratulations. You're a lucky girl. As for this piece and others you read, I'd appreciate it if you could read a little more closely. Thank you for taking the time out to say what you had to say. Perry J: I am a female, Perry. Stereotypical females were typical of the 50's and 60's. Yes, yes, quote me your knowledge of groups of women of the time who were gaining ground in removing these stereotypes, but the fact of the matter is that they were alive and well at this time. As for her having "no backbone, no personality, nothing" I'm afraid that was the result of me not caring enough to go into detail about who she is and what she's about. Maybe that could be changed in later installments. The fact of the matter is that this was the result of a few hours' writing over the course of a day. As for practicing my writing, I'm afraid I have no interest in that and will not follow through. Apologies if my wording was "gross/weird," but being on an adult fanfic site, I'd imagine you'd have to be prepared for things like that. Sex, afterall, is pretty gross. Eximplode: Sorry to disappoint, friend! It's a shame that you feel this way about this piece, but I'm pleased that it caused you to express yourself so creatively. Cat Bountry: No, Cat, I'm not a virgin and not particularly experienced with sex. I couldn't help but laugh while reading your comments and I have to say that, again, none of this was written with realistic intent. Hell, there's lots of ridiculoscity within TF2 that could very well be pointed out, but that's for another time. As far as the rape thing goes, yes, it's "justified." For now. Assist isn't meant to be that strong of a character, at least for now. She was written into the story without much thought (feel free to scoff, roll your eyes, and say "obviously") and has done what I needed her to do to get a start on this story and see where I can take it. Coming in with a strong, gun-toting female character would have been nice. It would have been interesting and created dramatic tension. A /woman/ fighting a man's war? But that's usually what happens. This isn't to say that it's not a good way to go, only that it's not the way I chose to go with this Female OC. The fact of the matter is that I didn't want a character to have to be one of the boys in order to get respect/be appreciated. Ah, my sex language. It isn't pretty, but it is what it is. Maybe it will improve in time and maybe it won't. So, misogyny. That's a really strong word. Engineer prodding around for an answer to a predicament, even with a disclaimer before it, isn't misogynistic, as that is the hatred of women. Sexist, sure. Careless, definitely. Misogynistic, no. You are correct, Cat. A fight scene between Sniper and Assist would have been lovely. However, corners were cut to get the story finished. Again, I'd like for you to watch your use of misogyny where I think you mean sexism. Nowhere in this piece has a male character outright expressed hatred for Assist, and they won't. Because they're not misogynists. Sniper did rape a woman, and though it's "brushed off" here, it will come back to haunt. Your last statement here troubles me. This is a fanfic. This isn't real. Someone could very well write about Sniper going and rape a thousand women, cutting off their limbs, pissing on them, and raping them some more, but it doesn't mean that the author condones it. They merely created the story. Rape? It's wrong. I'm not saying that it's okey dokey by writing a story where it is portrayed as such. In this story, Sniper did what he did as a misguided attempt to help and will be reprimanded for such in later chapters. As far as all this goes, I think you need to calm down. It's just a story, Cat. A story. Though, I do apologize if you were offended. Iz: I'm happy that you weren't offended by what was written here, Iz. Anon13: It's unfortunate that you feel that way, Anon. This isn't a trollfag or even namefagging. I like palindromes. They're nifty. Ze Doktor: Before commenting, I'd like to say that I'm a fan of your writing. It's top-notch. That being said, let's get down to business. Thank you for being able to criticize without insulting. It's an under-appreciated art. Your recommendations and criticisms are very accurate and will be considered. However, on the topic of rape, I understand what this situation in this story is like and am aware of the frightening facts and tropes surrounding rape from both male and female victims. I don't condone rape in this story any more than another writer would in theirs. I particularly liked your idea of the slower story build up. There isn't much that needs to be said as I feel you've done an excellent job of telling me what needs to be corrected. So, in short, thanks Doc. Anon15: That's both nice and unfortunate to hear, Anon. I like that you're open minded about rape fics and hold a level of tolerance with different turn-ons. I'm sorry that you found this hilariously bad and terrible, but at least you got a good laugh out of it. Chessolin: I'm glad you got some amusement out of it, Chessolin. And even if you consider this piece horrible, I'm glad you were able to get something good out of it. PerryJ: Yes, Perry, that's what's been told as the fatal flaw of this story: Assist becoming puddy in Sniper's hands. It is a contradiction of Assist's personality, but people often contradict themselves in surprising ways. Thanks for being able to say that without being insulting. Vinctia: I'm super happy that you liked this, Vinctia, and I'd like to thank you for keeping in mind some of the ridiculous things that go on in TF2. I hesitantly accept your demand. There will probs be more, but nothing written entirely in a day as I obviously need to give my writing more consideration. Cat Bountry: We meet again! To start, the defending of this fic isn't a call for you to make. Kind of presumptuous, actually. People can defend what they want as much as others can attack what they want. I think you need to realize that although you don't like this fic and others are right there with you, not everyone dislikes it and you really have no right to tell them that they shouldn't like it. That being said, let's continue. I apologize that you were insulted by Assist's characterization. There is guilt, there is shame, there is frustration, and there is violation. It's incredibly subdued, however. I apologize for not writing well enough for it to be sensed, but it is there. As for your recommendations as to what is believable and what is not, you are free to hold your own opinions on what should have happened -- what would have made this a better story. But the fact of the matter is that it did not happen and will not happen. Your preferences on what would have been a better story are.. interesting, but it is simply not what this story was going to do. I apologize that you don't find it believable that Assist would do what she did, but the fact remains. She did it. Ah, as for the Brazilian stereotype I've kept hearing about. I'd like to take a moment and talk about why I chose Assist to be Brazilian. No, it isn't because Brazilian women are so fiery and sexy and renowned for their ability to make houses and hotels alike spotless. I thought about each character of TF2 and their country of origin. 3 Americans, 1 Frenchman, an Aussie, a Scott, a German, a Russian, and wherever Pyro is from. This seems like a horribly skewed take on on the powers and variety of the world at the time. Why no Central Americans or South Americans? Hell, I could have chosen someone from Africa or an Asian country, but I imagine that would have incurred even greater claims of racism. If she's black then she's a slave and if she's asian, she's in the same boat as the Brazilians as being workers with unfortunate, stereotyped jobs. Yeah, yeah. I wanted Assist to be from somewhere not ridiculously European and proud of where she came from. Perhaps it was too much, but the fact is that this wasn't meant to be racist. I wanted a non-european country that was also a major world power. I chose Brazil. Assist's description and personality are lacking in this piece, I admit. I didn't have a clear image of what I'd like for her to be as I was writing so she developed (or according to disgruntled readers, she fell apart) as I continued. How does she move? Like a woman with two legs. Her verbal rhythm? Her voice? Now that's just being picky. Though, I did attempt to write her lines with a Portuguese accent, it simply fell through and I quickly quit after starting. I apologize again for you not being able to get a grasp of Assist, but I have the feeling that what you're wanting is an over-the-top character and Assist simply isn't that. Perhaps instead of looking at what is there, you're looking for something you'd rather see yourself which is why you are unable to see Assist for who she is. Granted, her image is bleak. Use your imagination. Assist isn't a stand-in for the reader. If she were meant to be, the story would be written in a second person point of view. Your recommendations have gotten better this time around. I imagine it's because you've had some time to cool off and think about it. But I can't help feeling that you have an unrealistic expectation for me to regret writing what I wrote, though I do think it needs improvement. Assist got raped. Was it pleasurable? Physically, yes. Was it justified? Seemingly, to her. Does this mean all rape is pleasurable and justifiable? Of course not. However, that call is kind of up to the victim. I very much doubt that in the history of mankind there hasn't been a single victim of rape, man or woman, to say they enjoyed their assault. Rape is confusing, hurtful, and surrounded with shame. Why would anyone admit to liking it? Normally, no one would. And that, I think, is what makes this such a negative expectancy violation for you and other readers, because I'm writing about what wouldn't normally happen with such a heinous crime. I apologize that you're angry about this. This wasn't meant to evoke that kind of emotion; however, I do recommend that you be a little less.. passionate about the written works displayed here. They're just words on the internet. There are plenty of real issues that you could be worked up over. The porn, she is bad, but don't knock other people for choosing to skip over it. That's their choice. Take into consideration that they're reviewing everything except the porn instead of assuming they're in the wrong for not having read the whole thing. In short, thank you, Cat, for offering your words. I appreciate that you took the time out to do that; however, I feel that a lot of what you wrote was written in anger. I apologize that this visibly upset you. Iz: Brilliant philosophy to live by, Iz. Thanks for the thought-provoking words and for being able to be sensible on critiquing this work. Apologies for the back and forth you had to endure over this piece. Anon 33: Thanks, Anon, I definitely need to make Assist more concrete. However, as far as having the work looked at before posting, I simply have no interest in it. If anyone wants to volunteer themselves to do it, that'd be fine. == TL;DR: I know that this story didn't float everyone's boat, but considering that there's hardly a story that can float /everyone's/ boat, I'm happy that a few of you managed to keep your heads above water. There may or may not be more parts to this. This isn't because of anyone's harsh critiques; I just have to find the time and inspiration to dedicate to this. Thank you for reading. - Aillia