You know, I have to say I really like the dynamic you created with Sniper's mom. Not enough fics do this, especially when dealing with homosexuality back in the late 60s. In terms of critique, I think you should show more and tell less. There's a bit too much description and verbose tagging (and sometimes just really confusing speech tags) that could be cleaned up. You also have a tendency to use run-on sentences that hinder the emotional impact. Easy fixes, though.