You've done amazing job thus far with your revised edition! It really looks like you've put a lot of focus and thought into it. Just one thing that threw me off with this last chapter. ...It had been too long in general. This blur of fumbling and wildly affectionate fondling... It felt abrupt, a large change in pace. One second, Soldier is getting use to palming Engineer. Next, they're all over each other. You might be able to get by by changing the latter sentence a little to fit the new material you added, but I feel that there is so much more "meat" you could add in there, almost making another chapter out of it. How did they go from point a to point b? How did Soldier get the idea to submit to Engineer? Did Engineer give him that idea? Did Engineer use this time to prepare Soldier for penetration? Being his first time and all. Just something to think about. Can't wait to see more!