He nuzzled her sex ... eliciting sexy noises from his throat. What, um, what kind of noises? She groaned mirthfully Did she...did she laugh? She made an array of sexy noises, and he ate it all up Pfft what. Maybe replace three in every five instances of "sexy" with, I don't know, ANYTHING ELSE. So much of this fic is great, and then some of the phrasing makes me feel like I'm reading Jean M Auel, or Juliet Marillier, or Sara Douglass. Not in a good way. In a if-you're-not-comfortable-talking-about-sex-then-don't-try-to-write-it way. Your emotions and romance and story are lovely, it just fell down a bit at the actual porn, unfortunately. (In an unrelated note, captcha = "bacons")