|1||TF2chan Secret Santa Exchange 2013||1||7 December 2013 05:33|
|2||Request Thread Go!||122||26 November 2013 00:17|
|3||The Lessons v2.1 - HOLY SHIT NEW CHAPTERS||8||19 November 2013 21:25|
|4||The TF2's have dinner||19||14 November 2013 07:23|
|5||Enlightening the World||3||10 November 2013 06:56|
|6||GHOST STORIES FROM TEUFORT aka prepare to deploy piss puddles||3||26 October 2013 03:11|
|7||As Time Goes By||6||23 October 2013 23:03|
|8||The Nucleus Incident - IT RISES AGAIN||10||22 October 2013 04:32|
|9||Afterwards, cont'd.||170||16 October 2013 22:22|
|10||Harvest||145||11 October 2013 14:45|
|11||In Blackest Night - A Mystery||2||5 October 2013 15:47|
|12||A Physician's Tale||15||24 September 2013 05:40|
|13||Faust's Grimoire of Oneshots||10||21 August 2013 00:10|
|14||The Sudden Death Experiment||61||13 August 2013 21:33|
|15||Vice Versa||21||13 August 2013 20:59|
|New Thread | All Threads|
Last one autosaged, so it's time for a new one.
This idea just won't leave my head. Feel free to denounce it as stupid, but I keep thinking of the whole team getting teleported to feudal Japan, and somehow Demoman ends up being worshiped as a physical incarnation of Amaterasu. Meanwhile, Japan has no idea what the fuck to make of the rest of the team, but assumes that they're with Demoterasu and so they're venerated on general principle...
I'd also love to see Scout or Soldier struggle with ceremonial robes (I think some of them had up to twelve layers).
-A crossover/fusion with Dollhouse (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dollhouse_(TV_series))
Guess who's got more requests? (And hopes they didn't kill the thread)
-In the BtVS episode "Hush," demons referred to as "the Gentlemen" steal voices so no one can scream as they gather the hearts they need. What if this happened in 2Fort? (For an Afanfic variant, two of the team take advantage of the silence to have sex.)
-Another BtVS episode crossover: the infamous episode "Halloween."
-A fic based off the Scrubs episode "My Musical." Bonus points if there's a romantic duet.
SO WHO REMEMBERS THIS RIDICULOUSLY LONG TF2 FANFIC THAT I STARTED WRITING LITERALLY YEARS AGO AND STILL HAVEN’T FINISHED YET? BECAUSE I FINISHED A NEW CHAPTER.
If you haven’t read the rest of this series, you can find it here: http://tf2chan.net/fanfic/res/657.html
You should probably read the other chapters first, or the stuff happening in this chapter won’t make a whole lot of sense. That thread stopped bumping ages ago because it went over the post limit, so here you go, have a new thread. Comment in this one, not the old one, or I probably won't see it, and that would make me very sad indeed.
Someone paid me to write this, I should mention. I’ve been wanting to do it for a long time but unfortunately I just haven’t felt as though I have time for anything that I’m not getting paid for recently, so if it wasn’t for the wonderful person who paid me real, actual money to finish a new chapter in this fic, it would probably never have happened.
I want to finish the whole thing - there’s at least one more chapter to come - but I don’t know how long it’s going to take for it to happen. I’m sorry for that. Things are getting better now, so I’ll do my best.
Just enjoy what I have managed to write in the meantime, okay? Thanks for being so patient, everyone, and if you want to catch up with me at all you can find me far more easily at drtanner.tumblr.com, or alternatively, at drtanner-sfw.tumblr.com if you prefer your blogging experience not to be full of men's asses and dicks and men kissing other men.
I love you.
I had the other thread bookmarked and I would check every once in a while, never losing hope..
Today I realized I hadn't checked in a few weeks, so I loaded the page and scrolled down. then i cried
Thank you for writing this amazing and inspiring story <3 <3 <3
I am just... so glad to see this updated
And Ill admit this got a few fat tears from me
Im horribly tempted to go reread the rest of the Lessons now, but I dont know if I can handle all that heartbreak in one go
Dearest TF2chanlings, whilst working on a t-shirt design, I found this gem of a "wtf-fic" on the Steam forums.
"The TF2's have dinner" by Bobby Road.
They go to TGIF.
Scout orders a pepsi and a chicken nugget.
Soldier has a beer and steak.
Pyro just drink.
Demoman has pasta and alcohol drink.
Heavy orders two things cause he is fat.
Engineer a briskit.
Medic is eat fried steak.
Sniper has fried steak too, its good. And coffee cause he's tired.
Spy has oyster and French drink.
My question is... what's Heavy eating that requires double order? Could it be because Medic and Sniper are both eating fried steaks that Heavy is jealous or something!? Oh gawd, I can't breathe this is some funny crap right here!
>>7 Lo do it! Do it your glorious person! For SCIENCE!
>>17 It might just be "Heavy eats a lot because he is the fat guy and his entire character is that he is fat and also dumb because English is his second language and he can't possibly be intelligent".
Which is a characterization that always got on my nerves.
Necrobump but I ain't even mad. How the fuck did I miss this the first time.
Still trying to wrap my head around the final sentence which I am positive contains the most profound nugget of wisdom when decoded; one that will surely lead us all to enlightenment and serenity.
Filled for the promptfest, Soldier/Spy, Soldier was aghast when he found that the Statue of Liberty was French, as it says on the tin, I tried to make it a pairing, but... that was difficult, very difficult.
“What? I thought everyone knew that!”
The Soldier was so stunned by this revelation, he could not articulate much more than sputters for several seconds. “That is a lie,” he finally exclaimed, “and you all know it! I will not tolerate any filthy communist slander of our Lady Liberty! She is as 100% American as rocket-jumping. There is absolutely no possible way, I repeat, no way, she could ever be French!”
The only woman he would unquestioningly give his heart and soul to, the bronze green goddess of his beloved America, actually built in the land of cheese-eating surrender monkeys, designed by one of them. As if the cowardly French knew anything about the value of freedom! The very thought of such sacrilege made sparks scatter from his eyes, steam visibly rising from his flushed skin. But the Spy was laughing so hard, he was actually snorting and then coughing from how hard he was snorting, and the Engineer was slapping him on the back as he tried to recover his breath.
Grinding his teeth, Soldier turned to the Engineer, mutely asking support from his fellow American, but the other mercenary shook his head with a wry grin.
“It’s true, I’m afraid,” he said. “Seen the blueprints myself in the university archives, all French-”
Gahdammit, I've meaning to post my thoughts on this for a few days now but like a chump I kept forgetting. Apologies. Onward with the comment:
I really, really enjoyed this. Your turn of phrase had me smiling the whole way through, or laughing out loud when I couldn't contain myself anymore. Also dat ending.
Only had a couple of nitpicks. The first one was on the fact the mercs were in civilian disguises yet were fully armed. As funny as the mental image is, and as much as I can understand the men would become attached to their weapons, it felt like a bit of an unnecessary detail (or at least wasn't justified believably). Was there a particular reason for them to bring their weapons along?
My only other "hmmm"-inducing moment was at this point in the story:
He straightened up, an act of defense against the Spy’s increasing encroachment into his personal space, which of course only drew the Spy closer.
“Mmm, yes, I would. Shall we then?” the Spy murmured, slipping out of sight with a flick of his watch.
Unless I'm being particularly obtuse, I was led to believe Spy was enamoured by Scout's mother - why the sudden physical teasing towards Soldier? It just seems a little out of the blue having him so flirtatious, as opposed to the snide remarks he had been using until now. I also gathered from the ending he wasn't in total despair after all. Has Spy been attracted to Soldier from before this trip? Was it only their interactions in this scene that changed his mind? A little confusing, is all.
Anyway, I'm probably being pedantic. It was great. I've recommended this to a few people as well. Hope you continue to share your stories with us!
Artists, writers, and SFM aficionados! We've got a Halloween themed community project going on, and would love to have everyone take part!
Signups are open until October 19th, submissions due October 26th, project releases October 31st
Interested? Info and rules here: >>/dis/14088
Just a reminder that sign ups close this Saturday (the 19th)! Final submissions aren't due until Sat 26th
There's still plenty of room left in this thing! Only 11 people have signed up so far (4 of which already submitted), so come get your spook on y'all
Hello everyone (Man, it's been a while since I posted anything here). This is a short one-shot I wrote that's best summarized as fluffy Engineer/Spy. Criticism is completely welcome and encouraged! (Deleted the first posting of this because I'm a dork who forgot to capitalize the in-thread title.)
As Time Goes By (Three Words, a Cell, and a Timepiece.)
The Engineer smiled up at him.
The Spy put the revolver down and looked at him.
“Tell me. You do not smile like that unless it is something very good or very bad.”
Couple of things.
- Sometimes it's not always clear in the scenes where the characters are in relation to each other or the room that they're in. (I also tend to have that problem myself since I write a lot of scenes dialogue first before figuring out how to "set the stage", as it were.)
For example, at the beginning:
The Engineer smiled up at him. [Who? Yes, the narrative makes it clear later that this "him" is the Spy, but since this is the first sentence of your story it behooves you to introduce both of the characters by "name".]
“What?” [I presume Spy is saying this. Might want to make that more clear.]
How close are they? Are they both sitting? Are they directly looking at each other, or engaging and dis-engaging as the conversation goes on? Do they give each other their undivided attention, or are they fiddling with their hands? Etc. The more senses that are involved in the narrative, the more immersion the reader gets into the scene.
- I don't quite buy the dialogue. A lot of the things they say to each other sound more like exposition for the audience. A fully omniscient narrator (which I presume your story has) would be able to examine what both of them are thinking without the need to say things out loud; a narrator limited to one party should make it more clear that we are stuck to the perceptions of said party.
- The premise has promise, but it could use a lot of fleshing out. Do you want to tell the full arc of Spy and Engineer's relationship starting from when they first met to ending up officially together? Or do you want to focus on the moment that Spy, and then Engineer, realize what they mean to each other? Why should I care about them getting together? (I'm open to all pairings, but I tend to assume that both sides are rather hostile to their enemies, so How Did They Get Here?)
Ah, thank you very much, Anon! I'm glad you enjoyed it. Yes, I was a bit worried about that, that Spy wouldn't have as strong as a character as I would have liked. I'll work on strengthening his character when I write other stories involving him. As I said in the author's note above, this was a one-shot, so unless the meaning of the term has changed without my knowledge, this is all there will be.
Oh, thank you so very much, Mawaru! That means a lot, coming from you. I’m glad you enjoyed the bit. Thank you again. And yes, I do like writing the Engineer as a man who would check every possible junction for error. I'm glad you enjoyed that.
Thank you for taking the time to write out crit, Dotchan! I agree, I was a bit lazy on writing scenes. Thank you for calling me on that, because lord knows I’m out of practice with writing. However, I do have to question your point about the dialogue. What about it sounds artificial? I do not doubt the validity of your claim; I would just like some examples and ways to improve on making the dialogue more ‘believable.’
As for your third point, this is true. However, I did state that it was a one-shot at the top, which means that it won’t be continued. Thank you again for your crit!
Since you asked, here's some more detailed feedback on specific lines of dialogue.
“Tell me. You do not smile like that unless it is something very good or very bad.”
- Spy's inconsistent use of contractions (he alternates between "do not" and "don't" several times) can be used as a characterization plot point. How does he talk normally? Does he have an "on job" and "off job" way of talking? Is he the type to put on airs even around his friends? Or is it a sign that he's emotionally withdrawn into himself?
- This is more of a personal opinion thing, but Spy's dialogue in particular doesn't "sound like" my perception of him. At this point in the story I don't know a thing about your particular version of Spy, so I'm assuming the default canon modes of behavior, and I don't see Spy as the type to be straightforward. Asking such a direct question would be tantamount to admitting that he doesn't already know the answer. To me, Spy's the type to want to know everything about everyone else while remaining as secretive about himself as possible. In the context of this story, that would make for some delicious inner conflict.
“Actually, that is not the date I mark. The one I mark is the one where you stopped trying to kill me when I showed up in your workshop or at your home after battle hours.”
- Again, this is mostly opinion, but the "flow" of the dialogue seems off in a way that I don't know how to explain properly: when I read it out loud, the syllables don't play well with each other. The second sentence in particular doesn't seem like it can be spoken in one breath (and there's no apparent way to parse it to have a pause for breath).
- (Addendum: Yes, I do try to read all of my dialogue, if not all of my narrative, out loud. When I do that, I realize that it doesn't sound nearly as good as it did in my own head.)
- This sentence is pretty much here solely for expositioning at the audience. What is Spy thinking when
I bet you thought this was gone for good, didn't you? Well it's back, and I'm re-writing it from the ground up to fix errors in flow, update characterizations, and generally make it more enjoyable to read.
And for the love of sanity, tag your spoilers. I'm sure there are plenty of people who didn't read this the first time around.
“Alert! The control point is being contested!”
“Not today, maggots!” The RED Soldier chuckled, swiftly kicking a chunk of what had been the BLU Heavy off of his control point. His smirk grew wider as he looked over the edge and saw the BLU Medic, his body caught on the criss-crossing pipes, crackling with the energy of an undeployed Ubercharge. That lousy Kraut would be dangling from those pipes like a limp sock until the end of the round. And with just a few BLUs left alive, it wouldn’t be too long before respawn activated, and the full humiliation of death by crit rocket would hit like a… a crit rocket!
But there was little time for gloating on the battlefield. An arrow embedded itself in the point next to Soldier as he ducked instinctively, stowing his rocket launcher on his back and taking out his trusty shotgun. Today he was taking no chances. This was, after all, an Arena battle. And by God, he loved it! Nothing made him feel more alive than knowing that a slightly extended death waited around every corner! Let your guard down for even a second, and it could mean the difference between a victory and the sting of humiliating defeat-!
Soldier cried out in pain, putting his hand to the side of his head, feeling the sting of an open wound and the ragged edge of where his ear had been. Another arrow shuddered, the tip embedded in the metal just above him, covered in fresh blood - his blood! That tree-hugging hippie and his all-natural, free-range, grass-fed bow made him bleed his own blood! Standing up to confront his target, he regretted his decision as soon he saw the glint of the BLU’s arrowhead, pulled back and ready to fire. Stumbling clumsily as remembered who he was up a
Actually, one thought was to have the BLUs as protagonists, and possibly get their powers before the REDs.
Please update soon!
I'll be honest with you, Faust - uploading to TF2chan is really, really annoying, because I'm stuck using BBcode to add my italics, and even then the formatting often screws up. And the site is so dead that uploading my stuff here is a really, really low priority right now. Next to no-one is reading. Nobody is commenting.
If you want immediate updates go here -> http://thenucleusincident.tumblr.com/ But otherwise you'll have to wait until I can be bothered to go through 4000+ words and tag up my stuff. And right now, I can't be.
Hey everybody! The last thread for Afterwards is now no longer bumping, so it's time for a new thread.
Don't forget to read Reunion here: http://dotchan.com/?p=1876
And Afterwards parts 1-12 here: http://dotchan.com/?p=2096
Sorry about the amount of time that goes between updates, hopefully the wait will be shorter next time.
“… And that’s about everything I know about it, really.” Engineer gave a sigh. “I was hopin’ this would be about where you’d come in…”
“I see,” said Ilse. She took a sip of her coffee, her expression hard to read; straight-faced as usual. “Zis is all… very interesting.”
While I understand the importance of Becky's role in the Solly/Engie arc, it'll be nice to see things move along. More angsty Solly!
Here's an anon that's namefagging. Hey there. I started this back in September and have been messing with it for awhile. I'm kind of stuck at the moment, and since the chan was wiped and we're super deprived of fanfic at the moment, I thought it might be a decent time to post a couple chapters and see if it's worth continuing. It's my first fic ever, and I don't normally consider myself a writer, so I'm curious to see if this is up to par or not.
It was originally written for Halloween, but now that that holiday has come and gone I guess I don't know. I would say that it's in the same sort of genre as Eximplode's 'The Nucleus Incident', but I don't want to be presumptuous enough to compare myself to that fic. Okay enough blah blah here's some story.
It started when the Soldier died.
Actually, it could have started when the Sniper came back from a hunt with a mauled forearm, claiming he was attacked by some sort of rabid coyote. Or it could have started when the supply trucks stopped coming in, which had forced Sniper to go hunt up some game in order to feed the team in the first place. It could have even started with their transfer to Harvest in the beginning of October. Something had felt off from the beginning, the Scout had said so often. But the Soldier’s death was the first time the team realized something strange was happening.
It wasn’t the death that was surprising; it had taken some time, but the employees of both RED and BLU were accustomed to their unique existence thanks to the mysterious Respawn Rooms located in all of their bases. Death was, at worst, a painful nuisance. No matter how gruesome their fate, the team members would always reappear in Respawn, good as new, ready to fight again. After awhile battle tactics had adjusted to account for Respawn, and the Soldier especially relied on it during his many screaming kamakazie attacks on the enemy REDs.
So it wasn’t a surprise to anyone that the Soldier had died. The surprise was that he stayed dead. The Scout had stumbled upon the body after ceasefire, when the teams were returning to their b
Oh man, I thought this fic was dead. Overjoyed to see an update.
Interested in seeing where this goes.
aw, man... sad to see that this fic is dead (to my knowledge)was really enjoying it :(
The rain was falling in thick sheets, moistening the dry ground of Twofort for what must have been the first time in months. Engineer shook his head. Today of all days for a thunderstorm. The RED team had just finished a long, hard battle in which they had all perused the respawn room dozens of times, and they were exhausted. Engineer pulled down the heavy metal blast door over the entrance to the base with an effort. He could barely move his aching arms to insert his key into the locking mechanism and engage it. The door let out a soft click as its thick bolts slid into place. He tapped a few buttons on the keypad recessed into the wall, and bars began to lower over all of the windows into the base. Lockdown, complete.
"How's it goin' truckie?" asked a familiar voice from behind him. Engineer nearly jumped out of his skin.
"Gosh darnit, don't sneak up on meh like that, Sniper!"
Sniper chuckled softly. "Sorry, truckie. Couldn't resist," he said, staring out at the turbulent sky. The lanky man frowned. "Never rains like this in the Outback," Sniper said.
"Not in Texas, neither."
The Australian narrowed his eyes at the thick falling rain.
"'Ow strong are those doors?"
"Well, ain't never tried, but it'd take about 30 pounds of TNT to take 'em down. If you ain't got explosives, ferget it."
Engineer eyed the Sniper curiously. He wasn't the type to look so paranoid.
"Why do ya ask? Were you plannin' on goin' for a walk?" said Engineer with a chuckle. Sniper didn't laugh.
"Got a bad feeling tonight. Something just ain't right."
"It's just jitters, Sniper. Thunder and lightnin' puts a man into a paranoid sorta mood."
The marksman shook his head. Before he could reply, the two men heard a long, warbling death cry from the hayloft. Sounded like Demoman. They glanced at each other, then charged up the stairs towards his together.
Hot damn, I'm on the edge of my seat for more!
Pacing and set up is great so far - though I would recommend a few more paragraph breaks to make it easier to read.
Finally catching up on all the to-reads on my list, sorry it's taken so long to get to you. Are you continuing this one? You better be!
A PHYSICIAN'S TALE
This is a labor of love. I am not usually a fanfic writer, but I decided to go with it because I am a fan of TF2 and I've been needing the writing practice. This will be a tale of Medic's psychological development and offer some creative back-story on the RED team. I do hope you enjoy it, and of course, all comments and critiques are welcomed. I look forward to hearing from all of you. Thanks.
This will be updated every two weeks if all goes according to schedule.
He sat alone with his hat turned down and his eyes fixed on the glass of vodka and seltzer. The bar at the terminal was smoky and crowded. Soviet faces glanced at him and made passing comments in languages he didn’t understand. He felt pressured by some unknown history in these people. They knew he was an outsider. His manner was tight. His clothes were impeccable. His bags had already been checked, and the only thing he waited for was for the boarding call.
The Doctor ruminated on Prague in winter. He had never been here before. It was an old and grand city, now repairing itself from the ruins of war – what had sprung up was equally as magnificent as what had been before, he imagined. He had seen photographs his father took of a summer vacation here studying the migratory patterns of the local pigeons. It was the early twenties then. The war had been lost.
This is fantastic. Brilliant personification of the good doctor and a brilliant interpretation of how they all met. Keep it up!
Responding to Post #48 in the request thread (with some inspiration from Olga Mannlova):
Gazing out at the crowd from behind the curtain, Medic's heart began racing. He had been performing for some time now, and no one at headquarters knew. He doubted they really cared. After all, as long as he didn't fraternize with the enemy, he was golden.
But no one on the team knew. Not until now.
Turning to look down at the outfit he wore--a pair of black and white diamond-patterned pants and a black greaser jacket--Medic gulped nervously.
"Stage fright, Friedrich?"
Upon hearing his stage name, Medic turned to look at Tora, a fellow performer. Clad in brightly colored bell bottoms and a filmy shirt that reminded Medic of a Gypsy performer, Tora had been impersonating Janis Joplin for three years, and doing an excellent job of it too. She wasn't really Medic's type, though.
"Vell, actually, a few of mein friends are here," he replied. "Zey don't know about zis, and...vell..."
Well, let's say that witches (and warlocks) have longer lifespans than ordinary humans
I'm glad you like my work.
Musik in der Nacht
"Only vun zhing keeps me from you.
A mistake I made so long ago..."
Medic paused, glancing at the words he'd written, before erasing the 'o' at the end of 'so,' and rewriting it.
"Vun choice so wrong, it left me bound,
I vouldn't have if only I'd known."
Yes, that seemed good. He hadn't revealed the reason for his marriage, and he wasn't sure if he wanted to. All he'd said was that it was a mistake.
Now vhat? Ah, I have it!
"Scout, vhat vas ze name of Superman's girlfriend?"
Medic, you card. Will he serenade the target of his affections once complete? Or simply pop the letter in their inbox, and await their response... Oh, the possibilities!
Short and sweet as ever, as I've come to expect from you. Your writing never ceases to make me smile... Thank you for sharing, Faust!
Hello everyone. This is a chaptered piece that I've been working on and am quite excited about. I'll probably be posting it elsewhere as well, on ff.net or something of the like, but I wanted to put it here first because in my experience this tends to be a decent place for honest feedback, which I am always welcome to.
Thank you and enjoy.
There were eight tally marks in the wood. Eight tally marks, which meant they had been alive for at least eight days, and at least eight days meant at least one day over a week.
But the engineer hadn’t added another tally mark in a long, long time. It wasn’t that he forgot about it. He just didn’t want to know anymore.
It was some time past those eight days. Maybe a few days. Maybe a week. Maybe three. Like I said, the engineer didn’t know and he didn’t want to know, either.
So it was some immeasurable time past those eight certain days, and the engineer had taken apart his sentry for the umpteenth time that afternoon. The air was a little bit cooler than it had been earlier, but he kept his shirt off and the bib of his overalls unbuckled, anyway. A little bit cooler, by the standards of wherever the hell they were, was still pretty goddamn hot. Normally he was more of the modest type, even in the sweltering summers of Bee Cave, Texas, and would rather just sweat through the extra layer of cotton. But there were no ladies around here to offend. Just the sniper, and he could probably count the number of things that offended the sniper on one hand.
The sniper usually kept close by, if he could help it. Not his typical behavior. He was never the type that seemed particularly interested in forming close bonds with any of his fellow teammates—or anyone at all, for that matter. To the engineer’s knowledge, he was a bachelor, to boot. Not that he’d ever really gotten the chance to ask about it, though. Before that last battle had been initiated, the sniper and the engineer had probably shared a total of twenty-odd words, most of which being something along the lines of “Good morning” or “Thank you” or “Ow, I’m not a spy, you idiot.” But as their
I'm not sure how to feel about this ending. On one hand, it was rather transparently foreshadowed earlier. On the other hand, "paradox-free time travel saves the day" still comes off as something of a cop-out.
And if Pauling could travel to any period of time she wanted, why not just stop Gray from murdering his brothers, leaving those two alive? As far as I could tell from the comics, her loyalty above all is to the Administrator. She may be fond of the mercenaries, but should push come to shove the Administrator's orders come first.
I'm also a little disappointed that you didn't deliver on the promise of explaining why GLaDOS-Caroline's behavior is different from canon. It's fine for the characters do not know why there's an insane AI trying to murder them, but the lack of exposition on the reader's side makes it feel like you the writer have a poor grasp of GLaDOS' character. Unless given concrete evidence otherwise, my assumption is that you're using canon events and characterizations.
Finally, the last reveal that Pauling is, or becomes, Chell feels kind of tacked on. Unless you're planning to have a plot hook for a sequel, what was the point of having that line there? Again, going back to canon, we know from Portal 2 that Chell is the daughter of an Aperture Science employee, because we see that potato battery exhibit from "Take Your Daughter to Work Day". Pauling's never revealed in your story to have any sort of connection to any of this.
As to your comment about the Mann brothers:
>The Spy held up a gloved finger, giving her a disapproving look. "Let me finish." He cleared his throat. "It can only get worse, which is why you will need to restructure the past. In this wing you will find a door labeled 'Time Travel'. It's an extension of the Perpetual Testing Initiative, if you ever heard discussion of that. It's a prototype machine, so it's likely that no matter your coordinates, your placement may not be exact. It could put you six weeks before the intended date or two days after it."
I established that even if she did calculate it to save the Mann brothers, it might not necessarily turn out that way. I had her come late to result in the death of all three brothers in order to make her "crime" a bit more extreme.
In regards to GLAdOS's characterization, I know it wasn't entirely clear, but I wrote her as more emotionally unstable due to the circumstances of her being put into the machine.
I hoped that this paragraph would do a good job detailing that but I suppose I didn't quite make it clear enough.
>"loOk. LOOk hoW MUch he LOVes you." Although still light-headed and reeling from his recent constriction, the Sniper had torn off his shirt and pressed it against the Engineer's wound, trying to ebb the flow of blood. As the incapacitated man moaned against him, he set his jaw in an attempt to ignore her. Yet she fluttered over their heads, tauntingly waving the Engineer's severed arm like a first place trophy. Drops of blood fell from it onto their scalps. "iF yoU LOst youR EYes, hE'd RIp ouT HIs owN aND gIVe thEM to You. aND yET... lOOk whAT hIS LOVe haS CAused. LOve iS a DesTROYer in disGUISe. lOVE sAYs it'S TRYing to HElp yoU, trYing tO SAve yoU, wHEN it'S rEAlly TRApping yoU iN a PAinful, inCOMPLEte conTRAPtion agAINst yoUR wILL." She loosened her cord's grip on the arm, and tossed it aside to the ground with a wet thump. "iN mY NEw bODY, i hAVe COme tO lEARn thAT thE O
Hey, this is my first TF2 fic and contribution on this board. I hope it’s posted correctly, if not, please let me know. Concrit is welcome, although I guess there isn't much in the way of plot or characterization or you know, words to concrit. But any help is welcome, I always like to know how I could do better. Thanks.
The familiar sounds of fighting reached him even here, isolated as he was from the battlefield. He could hear screams of agony accompanying round after round of gunshots, the cacophony lovingly punctuated by occasional explosions, and now, the intruder alarms. But before long, it became clear that only a few of his teammates had survived to breach the enemy defenses, and the foolish, fragile hope he had been nursing ever since the battle started immediately deflated.
Sighing, he mentally mapped out the enemy Heavy’s path into the interior of the base, that thunderous tread increasing in volume as it neared his location. The bottles of Red Shed began to rattle on the rickety shelf, almost as if shaking in anticipation of the bloodbath soon to follow. Though muffled by the walls imprisoning him, he could decipher the gruff bark of the Soldier and the frantic yapping of the Scout, their useless, empty threats. If only his team’s Heavy had made it through this time, or even their Demo or Pyro, these bumbling idiots might have had a chance, but it was just these two.
Always these two.
Like actors following a not very original script, the scene played out the exact same way it had the last several (dozen, hundred, he can’t even remember how many) times. The door opened briefly to let in a peek of light and a rush of warm air, but before he could speak, the Heavy had retrieved his sandwich and slammed the refrigerator shut again. There was the slightly revolting noise of jaws working around layers of white bread and meat and cheese, and then the much more revolting noise as his two teammates proceeded to have their bodies brutalized by the fully healed enemy. Every now and then the impact of a particularly violent blow would jostle the refrigerator door open and knock down a
[Welp, I was waiting for what, a year, for something to be confirmed in canon, but obviously that never happened so I’m gonna do what I can to try to wrap things up, which unfortunately calls for the “bad ending.” Again, thanks for reading, and sorry about the wait. And you know, the bad ending.]
It seemed he had only been asleep for a few minutes before the Soldier was shaking him awake with complete and utter disregard for the delicate healing process taking place.
“The base had better be on fire,” the Spy muttered. He rubbed his eyes, exhausted, as he was sat up in bed, while all around them, ungovernable flames failed to billow from every window.
“Get moving, princess, you can get your beauty sleep in your own bed!”