My brain is....FUCKING HAPPY

What's that feeling when your stomach has curled itself up upon reading something completely awesome? Because I have that feeling now.

I seriously could feel my THROAT EFFING CONSTRICTING when I refreshed and saw this on the Blog. I HAVE SHIVERS. WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME.

I SHOULD NOT BE THIS EXCITED OVER A FREAKING VIDEOGAME UPDATE, AND YET I AM.

I hope to god I can make it until Thursday, because my heart is racing and I already have anxiety problems GALORE, luuul.

Loved Mobster Monday, by the way. No, wait. I LOVED EVERYTHING. EVER.

/fangasm

1.) It IS a "Meet the" short.
2.) It involves ONE of the two remaining classes.
3.) It's NOT the Pyro.
4.) It's the MEDIC.

>>5946

WHAT COULD THIS POSSIBLY MEAN?!!!!

We need our best decoders on this stat! I'll start counting the pixels in each letter and running them through random equations!

>>5946
LIFE IS WONDERFUL.

Alright guys, here we go.

I actually don't care for new items that are not for Medic because well, the new stuff is dull and not that important to test out. I prefer dull over gamebreaking or really annoying, though.

But Medic getting more shit, more attention and ESPECIALLY HIS OWN DAMN VIDEO

YES

Well it's about time! I am so excited for the Medic, hopefully Valve will not disappoint!

New weapons
Heavy illegal weapons time

Also spy. Dat gun

Artwork's page
Epic photos changes of demoman.
PYRO'S FACE (the old,of couse)

So wait, everyone is excited about an announcement we all knew was comin soon and the usual load of "HURR DURR FASTER BUT LESS DAMAGE" weapons? Jesus, am I the only one lookin at this and thinkin so far its a massive let down? Valve are gonna have to pull some cancer curing rabbit out the hat after this fuck up if ya ask me.

YES, we're getting Meet the Medic this week! Oh, this couldn't get any—

>Mobster Monday

...FUCK. YES. I don't even care if they end up being total crap, the fact that we finally have official gangster-themed items (especially ones for Heavy, my 2nd-most played class) is enough to make me happy.

I'm so happy right now.

No words, should of sent a poet.

http://www.teamfortress.com/classes.php?class=medic

these new pages are sexy

I came buckets. Buckets I tell you.

This is better than listening to the best music while high and having a whole plateful of delicious fruit in front of you and more awesome than scoring above 80 on a diploma exam and FUCKING STRAIGHT IT'S ABOUT DAMN TIME

I love love love the new layout!
All the artwork, comics, previous major updates all on a convenient tab layout

Ooh~ monsieur Medic~

TEAM FAGGOTS 2

1.) It IS a "Meet the" short.
2.) It involves ONE of the two remaining classes.
3.) It's NOT the Pyro.
4.) It's the MEDIC.

I...I lost myself. I will say that I screamed in pure, utter joy.

I wish Thursday would hurry the fuck up and get here already.

TREMBLING ENTHUSIASM
EXPOSED FLESH

So, so excited. Ridiculously excited. Really, inexplicably excited. I don't understand, but I love it.

Also bees.

>>5964
It's Bee CAVE, Valve! Keep your own canon straight, hahaha.

Sniper's concept art.

Oh god.

>>5954

"Jesus, am I the only one lookin at this and thinkin so far its a massive let down?"

Yeah, pretty much. Not saying your opinion is invalid or anything, but are honestly saying you can't see the huge amount of work Valve put into redesigning the website and giving us concept art and putting all the comics and other bonus things in neat, organized, easily accessible sections?

Triflin'. To be honest, I think there's just no way Valve could live up to your expectations or the hype the fandom was piling on in anticipation of the update as a whole. I was mega-hyped, too, but I'm looking at this, and I'm thinking, "Yeah. So far, this is everything I'd every wanted, AND THEN SOME."

>>5969
The skins are usually made by fans, a website like that can be knocked out easily now days. I had no hype, I take this with no hype in my mind, its just dull compared to what we got before.

>>5970
Well, if there's no convincing you otherwise, I guess that's that, but I'm still lovin' it. Could be that it's my first major update, though. (Not counting the Replay and Christmas ones.) I'm thinking this is up there with the WAR Update.

I can't believe how much concept art is here that I've never seen before. I thought I had sleuthed out the majority of this. It's like Christmas is July June.

>>5954
Hah hah, simmer down, sassafras, this is only the first day of a whole week of updates. If you don't like the new weapons there's nothing saying you have to use them! I don't like any of the weapons from the Shogun update, so I just don't use them. Easy peasy Japanesey.

We knew this was coming, but I'm excited because I'm always excited about updates, and also this will be the first Meet The video in over a year and a half! So let's take off our pouty pants and put on a smile and soldier on through the pain.

>>5961
Spy is clearly looking at Engineer, durr

>>5973
heavy and scout are exchanging glares too.

>>5961
>>5973
>>5974

TL;DR: They're all whores.

Is it wrong if this is the first thing I though of?

on each of the classes' pages, the background image is where their "meet the" video took place

i guess medic's will be in that hospital

Ooh, that new payload map. One of the level designers at work told me a friend of his had made this map as his design test for Valve, and that it had got him the job and would be added to the game.

That guy is so freaking lucky, lol.

>>5977
PFFFTHAHAHAHA!

>>5977
Oh my God. That is just too perfect.

>>5970
> its just dull compared to what we got before.

how are those nostalgia goggles treatin you? i had to take mine off, they were causing my inner-child to chafe.

fresh from Hipstr

>>5985
oh god why?!

If Medic commandeers an abandonded hospital to do crazyshit experiments, I WILL FLIP TABLES WITH MY SHEER JOY.

Dat tattoo!

>>5988

I see a Rod of Aaron.

>>5977
I think I laughed harder than I should have.

>>5977
(I don't get it, who's the guy on the right?)

>>5991
That's Brock. Y'know, from Pokemon.

I´m on work and just saw it and... don´t judge me guys, you all knew i couldn´t resist the temptation! YOU ALL KNEW! (Because in good old germany it´s already thursday. Oh and i have nothing productive to do now.) And well. To the new Update... I gleed in silence with hands flipping and so. You don´t know. YOU DON`T KNOW! As i saw the new weapons for Heavy i felt in love. I mean MOBSTER! MOBSTER! OH VALVE you meet it there by me. Heavy seond last class played by me... UNTIL NOW. Finally a hat for heavy i like.
(So if someone get´s dropped this thing wanna trade it against a Pyro Chief hat?)

Recaptcha: Works... yeah, yeah i get okay?!

>>5994
Ahaha. What did i wrote it´s thursday here? It´s TUESDAY. Seems like i need a big cup of coffe.
And yeah, the Saxton Comics. New canonfooder for me. Omnomnom. (A big black cup of coffee without sugar.)

>>5945
I KNOW THIS FEEL
I GIGGLED LIKE A MANIAC SO HARD I HAD TEARS IN MY EYES
IM A FREAK

>>5964
I like to think of this as Valve acknowledging Engibees!

YEEEESSSSS

YYEYEESYEYYSSSSSSS

I JUST WOKE UP AND SEE THIS

I LOVE EVERYONE

Life is indeed wonderful. Three more days of goodies and my two most played classes get a windfall on the first day...

Tomislav sounds like rapine; going to be a hell of a lot of dead Pyros on release day. Neither of the other two Heavy weapons sound much good, but I'm told the set bonus for using them all will be increased movement speed, which will at least make them viable.

Both of the new Spy weapons look unbelievably tasty. They seem custom made for the DR, which suits me just fine.

I really, really hope the rose comes with the ability to cast it onto an opponent's corpse.

Tomislav > The Big Earner > The Eviction Notice > The Enforcer >>>>> The Family Business (I've never run out of shotgun ammo anyway, so it's pointless to sacrifice damage)

>>6000
holy fuck someone saved that?
i drew it when i was drunk one time on /v/ hahaha

Oh my god. I love the new layout. Scout's main page background is now my desktop.

EVERYTHING IS BEAUTIFUL AND NOTHING HURTS.

>>5998
He was from Bee Cave originally, it wasn't something new they've added to please the fans, they just made a mistake on the page. It's fixed now.

So...new weapon, a new site design, a neat place with concept art and other stuff all in one, a new map, a free weekend of TF2, AND a Meet The Medic short?
IT'S LIKE FUCKING CHRISTMAS UP IN HERE.

>>6004

This update, in a nutshell.

My opinion on the update so far:
The new weapon's stats are extremely uncreative, but I'd rather have that than some new and gamechanging (and possibly gamebreaking) mechanic. With very few exceptions (such as medic secondary or engie primary) every class has so many different weapons to choose from for every slot that further complexity would damage the game rather than improving it.
That said, let's move on to the weapons themselves:
Tomislav could allow for some nasty stealth Heavy tactics with its fast, silent spinup, but stands no chance against already spun up Heavies with other Miniguns. I'm kinda tempted to check it out.
The Family Business won't see much use, since most players use the Sandvich anyway.
The Eviction Notice looks pretty badass, but outside medieval mode it's pretty worthless compared to GRU and FoS. But admittedly not quite as worthless as the Warrior Spirit.
The Enforcer is probably good for Dead Ringer Spies who haven't mastered the Ambassador yet.
The Big Earner looks like a mild version of the Kunai to me - less reward, but also less risk. Seems balanced to me.
The new site design is cool too. Needless to say, I'm also looking forward to Meet the Medic.

>>6009
I had to double check the name to make sure ye weren't Perry as you said that there. :P

>>6010
Haha, not my fault he often says what I think.

Yeah, my opinion on the weapons is pretty much the same. I'm a person of habit and as long as the new stuff isn't actually filling in some holes, I don't have much interest for it. I'm happy with my Heavy loadout and I never play Spy except for derpage, so ... yeah.

I'll keep my thrills for the REALLY interesting stuff. Seriously, guys, you posted so much stuff already about a bunch of weapons that someone else made? Come on, admit it, it's not about the weapons, it's about the REALLY REALLY good stuff that's about to come and oh yeah, I can't wait for that either. As said, I'll be shrugging here, keeping my popcorn bags closed until they announce the jewels.

So is it only free play for this week? Or if you get it now it's yours forever?

One of my friends wont shut up about the Commando.
Keeps saying "Oh my god I bet they release the Commando as the tenth class this week!"

And Im like "What?"
Someone clue me in on this? Ive seen the concept art on the website, and my friend keeps saying that the Commando would be "the Pyro's true counter!"

And any ideas on what other things they might release with this?

>>6011

See Valve, this is the kind of attitude you breed by lavishing this game with free stuff for four years. Remember when the Blutsauger and Ubersaw were first released? Were they interesting gameplay-wise? Not even slightly, but people went absolutely mental for Medic at the time. These days they can redesign their entire website, release previously unseen concept art and announce a new map, 5 new weapons and 3 new cosmetic items just on the first day and people will roll their eyes and go "C'mon Valve, are you even trying? Your handjob is a disgrace, put some effort into it for Chrissake."

Anybody excited and/or worried about how they claim this is going to be the biggest update ever? Mann-conomy added 5 weapon sets, dozens of hats, introduced usable tools and turned the game into a blood orgy of micro-transactions. What exactly do they have in mind that'd change TF2 more than that?

>>6016
The fabled Commando?

>>6016
They are finally getting rid of the FPS mechanics and keeping it solely a Hat based simulator?

Heavy and Spy's serial numbers on the Mobster set page correspond to the dates their respective shorts came out (well, at least how Americans write dates).

Thought it was a cool little detail.

the commando is warhammer as shit son

>>6014
All I can think of when I see that is the April Fools gag Anet did for Guild Wars.

>>6015
Sigh. I agreed with Chi, as mentioned, and the new site update is awesome and I adore the concept art, believe me. Just because I don't fangirl about this update so far doesn't mean I didn't like it, hm? New maps are awesome, concept art is awesome, I JUST said that the really good stuff is still about to come and that I won't flip my shit like some people here before that is up.

Is the new map out yet? No.
Are the announced Medic items out yet? No.
Is Meet the Medic out yet? No.

So please hold your breath before you call me unthankful. I simply don't praise the entire update before the creme de la creme is avaible yet.

UPDATE2: Persian Update.

Sniper's weapons looks good but it's from Tf2beta
Demoman's weapons looks very very good, especillay the Persian Persuader

I need this rifle in my life.

demomantakesskill.jpg

so... Sniper's a Shia Muslim then? White wrap, with black band is generally considered to be a claim as a descendent of Muhammad.

Am I the only one who is getting tired of Demo swords and shields? He's a gorram Demoman. Why doesn't he have more things that explode?

I am very excited about most of the other stuff though. The new rifle will be very interesting to see how good your team's sniper is. I expect a lot of whining from people who miss though.

This is better. the sniper I could give or take either way, but the demo? Oh this is gonna be fun. Charge and Targe + The Persian Persuader + Ali Baba's wee Booties = Invincible melee beasts swarming the map.

The Demo, on the other hand, has never even been to the beach
—but his empty eye cavity naturally accumulates moisture that drips down his head into his throat, making him the equivalent of a one-eyed cactus that swears.


>man cactus

god that word seems so....wrong

This update.
Thank you, Valve.

The only thing that could make this week better for me would be Pyro items.

Too bad I'm such a lousy sniper. I can't headshot anything moving (and half the things standing still). It'll be hell if I play with my Steam friend Phaeth on the other team.

>>6037
I doubt they put that much thought into it.

>>6038
Maybe they ran out of ideas for things that blow up? Maybe the general player population likes melee a lot? I dunno, I don't pay attention. You do make a good point though.

>>6042
It's possible, but there are plenty of explosive or, hell, corrosive, things that can be used, I'm sure.

What about proximity mines? standard frag grenades with shrapnel? Land mines? I'd personally like to see them do Nitro or Napalm. Napalm would be fucking sweet.

>>6044
Aye.
Napalm is Pyro's territory. Don't you be straying into Pyro's territory.

Does Valve remember what a Demoman is?

>>6045
Well, Heavy can do healing now, and Demo can heal himself. Spy can do headshots. Pyro can help engineers.

There's already plenty of class crossover. With some tweaking, say with a small or unpredictable explosion radius or pattern, it could be an interesting addition, I think.

>>6046
All they know is hats.

>desert people update
>includes demoman
>no bombs to be seen

Maybe they don't give him so much exploding things because they're afraid he'll get seriously OP in the hands of a pro player and that'd make everyone else rage. I'll go ahead and venture a guess that most of TF2's main audience are casuals and they're not going to do anything that could anger their main audience.

>>6049

>>6050

They don't add more explosive weapons because they a) are very difficult to balance, and b) explosive spam is obnoxious. So they try and come up with precision explosive weapons like the DH and LnL which reward careful aim; few people use them because spam is too advantageous to give up and people still complain about them because they are cheap against 125 classes.

You don't want the Demoman to have more explosive weapons; you want this new set to be successful and have lots of Demomen charging around in slippers. Trust me on this.

I had a good laugh at this update, the description had me sniggering within seconds. Oh Valve.

That is a lovekly Sniper rifle and I want it. Just to have it. And color me thankful it's not more explosive spam, even if Demoknight is getting a little old.

Also SNIPER AND DEMOMAN CONFIRMED FOR BFF HURR DURR. Ishtar: TF2 Edition, I wanna see the crazy desert adventures these two have.

I personally wish for more explosives for Demoman, but the items don't sound halfbad. Maybe FINALLY Demoknight will actually become a valuable role to the team?

Yeah we don't want a repeat of the nade spam issue of TFC

I want that Sniper rifle so bad. It's just screams "STEAMPUNK" which is a genre I like and design outfits and accessories for. Plus the new gun gives me an excuse to get back into playing Sniper again instead of being such a alpha medic.

>>6054
I just have to know: was that image shopped? If not, I fear for humanity.

>>6057
Why would it be shopped? It just looks like a little girl sitting on a stuff animal, probably irate at being made to sit still to have her picture taken. That's not so unusual or terrible.

>>6058
She looks like she can slice me in half by just blinking is all. I'm thinking she's going to rule the world some day. No, really.

>>6049

http://www.teamfortress.com/uberupdate/scoutpack.html

ITS FINALLY OFFICIAL

>>6068
I came.

>>6068
>triple jump

>>6068

This is glorious.

I know Lawrence of Australia is a reference to Lawrence of Arabia, but has anyone else thought that maybe they just gave us Snipers' first name?

just wonderin'

>>6068

At least the Scout is ensuring that he will not reproduce, by doing this. On the downside, he'll probably have to be buried in a lead coffin.

>>6073
I noticed that!

>>6068
face mask. WANT.

>>6073
Okay, I'm kinda being slow right now, but I don't really get it. His dong is gonna drop off? Why? How?

>>6072

Lawrence Mundy. It ... it fits him.

>>6076

Exposure to radiation kills sperm.

>>6068

>get buffed
>for fucking walking around

>>6068
mfw

Also, i woke up in the freaking middle of the night just to see this update, yep, 2h30.
DAT NEW SNIPER HAT
I NEED IT

> Sees new Update
> Read discription for Demomen
Well, i know some players who will now kick TWICE my ass now. And huh look now he has shoes too. Like Soldier. Prompts will occure.
> Read Laurence of Australia...
Wait. Wasn´t Laurence of Arabien this fiction about the Soldier in the desert? I just remember this so good, because i once read a weird artikel about this. (It involved that the author seemed homosexuell for some criticers, because of this one rape scene which should be really detailed.) Ahaha, my brain already does the horriblest things with Sniper.

Anyway. Not really interesting news for me... Still eagerly awaiting tomorrow.

>>6068
>mfw
Oh lawdy.
I love this whole set, but this is gonna get suuuch a bad nerf as soon as more people get the items.

Today's items certainly seem like there was more thought put into them than yesterday's. Too bad they're all for classes I suck at.
Bazaar Bargain: Seems similar to the Ambassador in that it's a straight upgrade for anyone sufficiently good at headshotting. Seems okay to me.
Shahanshah: Basically a balanced version of the Equalizer. I see no problems.
Splendid Screen: Looks like a decent variation of the Targe. Except in medieval, where it is a direct upgrade. I hope they replace the lower resistances with a small health penalty or something.
Persian Persuader: Probably overpowered in combination with the boots. I think they'll get a nerf.
Ali Baba's Wee Booties: Finally, an item that might make Demoknights worth playing. Possibly. Some sticky launcher demos might even equip them just for the extra health.
Soda Popper: So, basically, a Force-A-Nature without the slow reload that grants you mini-crits for running around? Needs a nerf.
Atomizer: Will probably be used a lot in comp (unless it gets banned) and at high levels of play in general because it grants the option of extra mobility at the cost of only melee damage output. Looks like a direct upgrade, but probably not a gamebreaking one.
The Winger: Seems boring, but balanced to me.

Most interesting item so far are the boots, but I wonder what they'll give us for the 4 remaining classes. My guess is Soldier, Pyro and Medic will get the items currently in the Beta, but I'm really looking forward the the Engie stuff.

>Demoman
>nothing "demo" about this update
Those new Demoknight items are pretty ridiculous. I also like the sound of the combo mechanic in the new sniper rifle.

And motherfucking triple jump. Plus you'll still be able to boost it with a FaN.

(In order of excitement):
Bazaar Bargain > Atomizer > Soda Popper >> Persian Persuader > Ali Baba's Wee Booties > Splendid Screen >>>> Shahanshah > Winger

I consider the last two pretty much crafting fodder.

Yay or nay?

>>6084

>Persian Persuader: Probably overpowered in combination with the boots. I think they'll get a nerf.

I'd like to see these in action before making any judgments, but I don't think they're actually that bad. In order for the Demo to use both boots and sword he has to give up nades, and probably stickies too as he can't pick up ammo. So he will literally have one weapon...a melee weapon. So in order to get all the bonuses you have to give up everything in the pursuit of people's heads, and ironically Sentries and the like will stop you stone cold.

You are right about the Scout gun; it doesn't have the knockback of the FAN, which actually works in its favour. Even without the minicrit thing it sounds nightmarish. I also don't like the sound of a shield that can do 80 damage from anywhere, I suspect that will get a nerf soon. Everything else sounds cushtie like.

>"demo man its t...too warm...i'm so thirsty...iv'e got to"
>"nay lad don't be lookin' at me like that"
>"please mate. please let me drink the moisture from yer eye-socket..."

just gonna leave that there.

>>6047
That's all fine and true, but what I meant is that Pyro already has unused Napalm grenades strapped to his chest. If anyone's getting Napalm, it's him.

Where the fuck is my Raid Mode?

>>6092
What IS raid mode exactly?

>>6093
BOSS BATTLES

>>6094
Wouldn't the Vs. Saxton Hale mod cover this?

>>6097
That's not official, though. People want official stuff.

>>6098
That would be a fuckin happy day if Saxton mode goes official.

Probably would never happen though. :(

I was thinking yesterday, after the Tumbuk Tueday update, about whether or not they'd release weapons for every class in this update.

So far there'd been Heavy, Spy, Sniper, and Demo items. Two on each day. If they were going to have something for each, there'd have to be two a day, with three on one day. Then the Scout page popped up. That leaves Soldier, Pyro, and Engineer. Medic, we know, will have Thursday.
Soldier will likely be getting that trash pack from a while back. But I cant for the life of me figure out what Engie and Pyro will get. Anyone got a clue?

/rambling

>>6100
I'm guessing Soldier will get the Pocket Soldier items from the Beta, possibly with the trash pack skins. Pyro will probably get the Detonator and one (or possibly two) more weapon(s) with boring, but balanced stats. Personally, I'm hoping for a primary, because Pyro already has plenty of Melees to choose from.
Engie will probably get the Tesla pack that someone mentioned in early April, but I have no idea what stats they'll get, since Engie currently has no Beta items. Hopefully not just small damage/fire rate/clip size/reload time tweaks, because Engie could really do with some more interesting primary and secondary weapons.

Also, how come it's almost friggin' Thursday in middle Europe but Valve has yet to give us the Wednesday post? What timezone does the TF2 blog operate from, Tuvalu?

>>6101
The blog seems to update about 1am British time. Which I guess would make it 2am for you?

>>6101
In whatever timezone Seattle, USA is?

Anyway, it's comming up in 1-2 hours. At least yesterday it was around 3 am here (and it's now almost 1 am.)

>>6101
Id kill for a new Pyro primary or some more interesting Engie guns.

It was nearly 12:30 AM out here when the blog updated, and Im pretty sure I go by Eastern Daylight Savings Time.

Rocket jump
LAND ON PEOPLE FOR DAMAGE

RIDING CROP
I FUCKING LOVE THIS UPDATE

World War Wednesday!

Oh lawdie, they basically gave Soldier Goomba Stomp boots. And a riding crop to hit teammates with.

Two soldier's packs today.

Tell me the Soldier shouts stuff as he uses that riding crop. Tell me.

>>6105

My thoughts exactly. Holy crap do I want those boots and that riding crop. SO BAD YOU GUYS.

that soldier's set, I came³

>>6110
All the General Patton-esc items pleases me. I need it all.

Also that rocket launcher, sinc eI am used to having three rockets with the black box anyways.

Only items for one class today? I hope this doesn't mean one or more classes end up getting nothing in this update. But I have to say I quite like the stats of Solly's new weapons.
Mantreads: Probably only of interest for derping and for exceptionally good rocket jumpers. I doubt many people will trade away their shotgun or banner for this. Still, gotta give them credit for the goomba stomping thing, cos that is hilarious.
Disciplinary action: Interesting idea, might actually be a viable alternative to the Equalizer. Although I fear that the idea of Soldier hitting his teammates with a riding crop will spawn... interesting fanfics.
Liberty Launcher: The new projectile speed will take some getting used to, especially for Pyros who want to reflect them. Apart from that, it looks pretty balanced.
Reserve Shooter: Perfect for juggling enemies into the air and finishing them off with the shotty. Might be a direct upgrade over the regular shotgun, but certainly not gamebreaking.
Market Gardener: Oh, expert rocket jumpers will LOVE this one. Unfortunately it's practically a direct upgrade compared to the Shovel, but hey, hardly anyone uses that anyway since the Equalizer was released.
All in all, it's good to see some real alternatives to the Equalizer, and stuff that rewards good rocket jumpers sounds good to me too. Also, Soldier's speech is fucking hilarious. And it supports my headcanon that Solly loves Dr. Seuss.

also the boots is this one

But.. but..but... where is my Engie/Pyro Update? Oh don´t tell me Valve will bring this on Thursday and release Meet the Medic to the end on Friday... or Update the weapons on Friday and meet the medic on thursday/ new Engie Stuff.

Anyway. This boots. Rawr, they look so good. I WANT THEM IRL! And the riding crop... oh god a riding crop. All my fantasies (fanfics) came true now. Oh i know i will have FUN with this one. There will be scenarios on the servers. Hehe.

Valve know which audience they need to talk to it seems.

>Soldier gets a tie and collared shirt for misc.

allofmymoney.gif

Patton Soldier goes official? Decent stats? THAT FUCKING RIDING CROP UNFFF

This update day is awesome and I feel awesome.

The Disciplinary Action might be the dirtiest item in the entirety of TF2 and I love it. Since teamboosting items are my favorites anyway, this is a double whammy for me. Not sure how useful it is outside of pub since the Equalizer is still damn awesome but pff, that's okay. IT'S STILL A GODDAMN RIDING CROP THAT BUFFS YOUR TEAMMATES WHEN YOU SMACK THEIR ASSES WITH IT.

The Liberty Launcher is like the Direct Hit, just not ... directhitting. Might be useful, but the reduction in clip size is already a big problem with the Black Box, so I'm not sure about the potential.

The Mantreads sound awesome for good rocket jumpers and derping. SOLDIER IS MARIO

The Reserve Shooter seems to be the perfect thing to improve my juggling skills for. And faster weapon switch! That's awesome!

And a new shovel! FINALLY! Solly needed a new shovel. Sounds like fun for rocket jumpers, but I don't think you hit people with your melee that often in the air. Correct me if I'm wrong, heh.

TL;DR: The riding crop is fucking dirty, I love all of these items, DAMN YES.

>soldier gets riding crop

allofmydreams.jpg

Getting riding crop
Name:"MOVE IT PYLE"
Desc:"DON'T FALL DOWN PYLE IT'D BREAK MY F***ING HEART!"

When I saw that crop, I thought of you guys...

I want that riding croooooop
Im just gonna run around smacking my entire team the whole time I play Soldier now, I just know it. (and the mention of "free stuff" got me excited, but I guess it turned out to be nothing)

But if there is no Pyro update, I'll have to crack some skulls. And I mean it.

A riding crop.

A RIDING crop.

A MOTHER FUCKING RIDING CROP.

I came BUCKETS. BUCKETS, I tell you.

Some observations made after seeing /v/'s reactions:

>Disciplinary Action
Soldier gets a Heavy friend (with the new quick-spin Minigun) and a Pocket Medic healing them both. Soldier whips both Heavy and Medic constantly to keep their speed boosted. The trio blitz into the enemy base and destroy everyone before anyone knows wtf is going on.

Awesome. Somebody draw Solly riding a Heavy in this situation. Now.

Someone's idea of a late-addition (ala-Scout) for the pyro:
>World War Wednesday
>Pyro is a late addition a la scout
>"The Jungle Roaster"
>Vietnam/WWII flamethrower
>Loooong jet of Greek fire-like flames, basically a Heavy minigun but with fire
>+10% Damage
>-25% Movement speed
>-50% Movement speed when firing (no more W + M1)
>No Airblast
>"The Tank 'o Napalm"
>Huge gas tank (a la WWII flamethrowers) that replaces shotgun
>+100 Health
>+50 Ammo
>If backstabbed there is a large explosion that ignites everyone around you (teammates and enemies including the spy) in flames that don't extinguish over time (meaning you need to be healed or find water/milk/jarate)
>backshots deal +25% damage to you

ALL OF MY MONEY. Though that tank needs nerfing. Make it +50 health and the fire extinguishing, as well as no roasting teammates. Or just give him the new flaregun.

one guy said:
The way I see it there are a few options for how tomorrow is going down:

- Medic/pyro packs are revealed with meet the medic AND meet the pyro.

- Pyro/engie packs are revealed and no new medic items are introduced in the UBER UPDATE. (Seems to fit with Valve's trolling)

- Pyro/engie/medic sets are revealed and all of our penises explode.


And one sad soul suggested:
The waiting room pic in the pidgeon poop blog said now serving 2. So yeah, maybe the pyro/engie are sitting this one out..

DICKS EVERYWHERE

>>6120
>Drill hat
>Riding crop
>"Holy dog shit. Texas? Only steers and queers come from Texas, Private Cowboy. And you don't look much like a steer to me so that kinda narrows it down!"

>>6127

I always said the Soldier and Engineer made me think "Tom of Finland".

Me gusta.

>>6128
You know, you should totally draw that.
Just saying.

... I will shut up now ...

A riding crop?

SERIOUSLY?!

Okay, they're doing it on purpose, now. Officially.

ALSO, GOOMBA BOOTS?! ME GUSTA. The concept AND the design. I MEAN, LOOKIT DAT SXC

>>6126
Haha, I was thinking the same thing earlier.

Still. It's really hard to dislike this update.
That fucking riding crop - So many "hnngs" were had.
I just weep for Scouts everywhere who are bound to fall victim to those boots.

>>6117
Formal Fridays are making a comeback it seems

Damn, wasn't the riding crop part of the Jockey set for Scout? I remember there being a jockey cap as well...

Damnit Soldier, quit hogging all the updates today!
The way I see it, the next two days will play out as follows:

Tesla Thurday - Engie and Medic get nice things, Meet the Medic is released

Then Pyro either gets a secret update in that, or Fire/Fiesta Friday. Either way, his update will be all but ignored due to the hype from Meet the Medic.

Anyone else got the feeling that Pyro's "Meet The" video wont have people this excited, those people including Valve?

>>6135
No, Valve will be a cocktease like always and make you wonder ' Is it a man, woman, or machine that Engineer built to confuse you!' Plus, I don't think Pyro every made an appearance in the comics, so it would be nice to see him/her come around and be in the spotlight for once.

http://www.teamfortress.com/uberupdate/thedetonator.html

They didn't forget!

>>6138

Sneaky Valve, they stuck a Pyro scribble on Soldier's eraserboard after a bit. Neat flaregun.

Poor, poor Engineer. Wonder if he'll get somethin' tomorrow. MEET THE MEDIC TOMORROW OH GOSH I CAN'T BELIEVE IT

I feel like playing after the Meet The Medic release will be super, super hard.
DUE TO EXCITEMENTTTT
Dat new Pyro weapon. I need it so hard.

> Don´t worry Pyro Fans we only left out the Engineer!
...
I hope they are joking about that.
Anyway. Again a weapon which will KICK my ASS so hard. And which maybe will let give me away my shotgun out my hands... Maybe. (Dang it now after i named it.)

But you don´t know how excited i am now. And i really play with the thought to stay awake so long again. Jesus. Just ONE freaking day now!
Aww verflixt, i´m staying up this late!

ah'think this is the right place for the weapon updates pardner

i'm goin' to check out back. don't go anywhere y'hear

okay ah'm back an' it looks like there's noboy ar-

oh..

No new primary for the Pyro? Awwwwww...
Although admittedly, it's kinda hard coming up with "small tweaks" for a weapon that has no clip, no reload and no spin up/spin down time. Still, I would have liked to see a flamethrower with +10% movement speed and -30% move speed while firing or something.
And I seriously hope they're just trolling us with the "left out the Engineer" thing. Seriously, they're giving out the second (and in the case of the Soldier, third) weapon sets to other classes while Engie has yet to receive his first.

(In order of excitement):

Mantreads > Detonator (so much fun with this in the Beta) > Disciplinary Action (RYDIN CRUP) >>>> Market Gardener > Reserve Shooter > Liberty Launcher (Direct Hit for those who are too bad to use Direct Hit)

>>6146
Engi is a hard class to update. They'd have to give him gameplay-changing updates like the mini-sentry or the Wrangler for it to matter. New shotguns/wrenches are just crafting fodder.

Unless it's like a shotgun that shoots balls of metal so you could update from afar, but it wouldn't do damage at all, only restore ammo (to both enemies and allies). And a wrench that steals enemies' ammo and turns it to metal.

I'd also like to see something that increases teamwork between Engis. Like something that replaces your Wrench but allows you to build two Sentries. Or at least carry more metal, if that's too OP, which it certainly is.

>>6149
How would two sentries exactly promote team work? I'd see point in wrench that makes fixing others stuff faster and yours slower (or not at all) as promoting team work.

Oh.
Im ok with this. Looks like I'll be doing a lot of trying to get this thing, and then a looot of flarejump practice. Hell, I ought to just open the beta up and practice there since I cant really play until the update goes live (so i can get the drops).

Will all this go live after today's update, or will Engy get something tomorrow that'll make us wanna wait?

>>6157
>How would two sentries exactly promote team work?
Well, I thought that if your Wrench is replaced, you need to rely on others to upgrade your sentries and keep them alive. But scrap that, I guess it's not a good idea.

So is the detonator essentially a straight upgrade to the flaregun?

>>6161
It probably has a downside they just didn't mention. The beta version had an increased explosive vulnerability or something like that.

>>6161
Basically yeah, especially because of the whole flare jump thing. They'll probably try to cover it up with "5% less health" or shit like that, but still.

With it being FTP for the week what's stopping me from making numerous idle accounts?

>>6164
You can't trade with free account. So idling will net you nothing.

What time does the Meet the Medic come out? Because I might hurt someone if I'm at work when it its released.

>>6166
What timezone are you in?

>>6068
dat superhero sponsorship
it's like I'm really watching Tiger and Bunny all over again

>"The Engineer thing is much simpler: we haven't gotten any submissions that have passed our tech review and that have been at the bar we want to ship. Engineer is the class with the least community submissions. We haven't had a chance to make original art for the Engy recently.

Encourage your friends to make high quality, good perf Engineer items and submit them.
The lack of Engineer items isn't about game design. It's about resources.

I'll shit myself if this turns out to be a double 'Meet The' update like /v/ is trolling me into believing.

>>6149

My apologies, i may use that idea where The engineer's melee weapon slot will be replaced by something that builds two sentries.

http://store.valvesoftware.com/sale.php

And now TF2 shit is on sale. Im totally getting that track jacket.
But what the fuck are the decals for? Cars?

The hour is approaching, lads.

What are you particularly waiting/hoping for? Is your corpus sufficiently prepared?

>>6176
Meet the medic is what I most desire. However, I hope the new weapons will reignite my interest in the game.

Im hoping for a good video.
Im hoping for humor.
Im hoping for epic.
Im hoping for medic.

My body is ready.

>the detonator
>flying pyros

abandon all hope

>>6179
We are coming for you.
And you will learn to love the Skyros as much as we love you.

I promised my friend that I wouldn't watch Meet the Medic until she got home from work at 10. Which is five hours from now.

I already regret it. Dearly.

Is it out? When will it be out? I'm going to sleep in just a minute.

I basically traced drew a picture illustrating my current state of mind.

>>6184
This

Damnit, I need to sleep. Curse you, British Summer Time! I guess I'm just gonna have to watch it super early tomorrow morning.

If I can manage to sleep through the anticipation. It's like Christmas, only with a greater chance of grievous bodily harm.

I have bought champagen for this. And i´m already boozed up. My body is how i already said ready and willing to great this video. So eagerly awaiting this.

>>6182
It won't be out before then I wouldn't think.

DICKS EVERYWHERE

>>6192

>>6192
God, yes!

>>6187 Yes we are rather unfortunate. I have an A-Level exam less than ten hours away, but dammit, I'm staying up to watch it! I'm sat here refreshing the blog page like a crazed idiot but I know it won't appear for a couple of hours at most.

Also, >>6192, I died. BEST EVER.

>>6192
Because I'm a bit dyslexic, I read that as Master Faggot.

Derp.

>>6192

I'm not even that into Helmet Party, and I was hoping for something along these exact lines since the minute I saw that riding crop.

Anyway, I've just finished rewatching all the "Meet the Team" shorts, and now I'm just reloading the blog every minute or so. It's 6:00 Central Daylight Time here, so it should be up any minute now...

F5 /dis/
F5 official site
F5 TF2 subreddit
repeat

It's 2 AM here and I have to wake up kinda early, but I'm too excited to sleep anyway. Gottam see Meet the Medic at least.

>one hour left
>no, less than an hour
>no, two hours
Where are people getting these times?

Ha dudes, just got home from a big party, it's 1:00 am and i'm high as fuck. Gonna stay up and watch this motherfucker unfold. Best night present ever.

It's 7:16 PM here.
MTM still isn't up.
Why is it not up.
I'm about ready to start screaming and throwing shit all over my room right now.

Everyone, tap E, maybe that'll help.

OKay if i now announce here HOW annoyed i am because the MTM isn´t out now, it will be out. Because my life is a third rated black comedy show. And if i begin to complain than surely something will change. SURELY!

VALVE PLEEEEEASE!

It should be out relatively soon, maybe about an hour. I just know all the updates have appeared around this time or close to it.

VALVE PLEASE GIVE US MTM.

>>6203
im going to do this on the new update page, to search for easter eggs or such.

I'm boarding a plane in 30 minutes. I swear to god if I don't see it before this long ass flight I will cry.

Come on! Release it!!!!

People are talking about 5 pm Seattle time, which is in less than 30 minutes.

They're doing this on purpose. Valve just wanted to get in one last tease before they finally gave us what we want. They know after this update, they won't be able to tease us with MTM anymore, so they want to savor this one last moment of trolling!

That, or it's just taking longer then they expected to upload. Either reason makes sense to me.

>>6210

Valve makes trolling an art. C'MON I GOTTA GET UP IN FIVE HOURS.

aaah I have to leave the computer and I bet that's going to be when it's updated, ISN'T THAT RIGHT, VALVE?!
YEAH THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT.

I follow TF2 on Twitter so I get a text whenever the blog updates. Luckily I don't have a social life or each text would be so disappointing.

I will wait until 3 o'clock sharp.

And then 15 minutes more.

Oh you TEASE

>>6203

I tried it. Ze button, eet does nozhing!

IT'S HERE!!!!!!

>>6217

>Engie's head

If it doesn't work on /v/ it isn't going to work here.

>>6217
>>6218

My heart. It´s broken. and i have tears in the eye!

>>6218
I fell for it. Well I would have but I saw your post. Looks really good though don't it?

>>6217
Fooled me for a second.

>>6217

Curses!

>>6217

LIEZ! You know, with a "z" for the accent.

>>6217
Anon is Spy!

Something just changed on the website. The "Uber Update" image is no longer there and the Medic page had a blank background for a minute. I'm gonna piss myself.

My browser is really struggling with the page right now. I think something's happening, unless it's sick of reloading the same page over and over.

>>6226
>>6227

It's just so many people currently F5-ing it like the fist of the North Star.

Something's a-brewing. Or maybe the site is getting overloaded, I don't know.

My browser, it's having issues with loading the page.

COULD THIS BE IT?!

Captcha: you're restless

Hm. It knows.

It's eating me up inside. Come on Valve, run on real time for once.

oh shit reality is falling apart

Fucking Christmas doesn't get me this excited. I'm going to give it just a few minutes and then go to sleep.

This is how I imagine the TF2 team looks right now.

Just thought I'd join in with Superjail reaction images.

I'm going to shed tears no matter what happens today.
THE ANTICIPATION IS KILLING ME.

...Do we have to wait another 40 minutes or something?

I'm tempted to play TF2 while waiting but then it's going to come on while I'm on I just know it OMG runon sentences!

I fucking swear that the minute I go to sleep they do it.

>>6238
Okay. I'm now beginning the procedure to rise from my seat. See you in the morning.

>>6236 Please don't let it be so.

I don't care that I have to get up at 5am for work tomorrow. I'm not going to bed until it's up!

  It's all our fault guys.

YOU ARE TEARING ME APART, VALVE.

Hey guys, I sure did like Meet the Pyro!

Ahhh man, it's so close it just has to be! SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS!

>>6244

DICKS EVERYWHERE

chill your panties errybody. you are getting all fired up over a silly short that is probably going to be all of a minute and a half because that is as long as they could get robin atkin downes in for :I

You're killing me here Valve

Killing me

DICKS EVERYWHERE

>>6175
$35 shipping for Europe.

>>6248

I laugh about you good sire, you must be a poor Irish to say such things. Because just the poor irish people can resist the promise of HATS!

HATS! FOR MEDIC! HHhhaaaats.

In MAx undying words: FRUSTRATION!

But maybe it´s time for a threat: Meet the Medic: The Waiting! Write your frustration in the most humouros way, because by god Valve just wants to see you suffer. So don´t let them get it. RESIST!

>>6251
My life summed up.

Thursday is almost ovar D:

>>6254
not here in valvetowne, usa it isn't

7 minutes to 6:00 here
cmooooooon...

>>6255
Yeah I'm only an hour ahead of them. Eurofags, get some sleep. But if you're in the northwest, chill out and sit tight, will ya?

I'm right in their timezone this is so gayyyyyy.

>>6258
same here; this is ridiculous

My boyfriend's convinced, like others, that this is just trolling on Valve's part and they'll come out with MtM sometime next year.

It'll be here tomorrow, and they'll call it "time traveling thursday."

>>6260
Valve are trolls, but they wouldn't go that far.

Not to tempt them or anything.

>>6260
yeah, I don't think the raging masses would let Valve get away with it without some serious consequences, especially since they promised Meet the Medic was going to be released this update.

It's here.

>>6266

DON'T DO THAT!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=36lSzUMBJnc&feature=feedu


:D

>>6267

it is tho

Guys, there was a Meet the Medic lithograph in the Valve store for a moment, and now it's gone.

WANT WANT WANT.

IT'S TRUE. IT'S FUCKING TRUE

Uhm just to inof the link up there i poster... WAS TO MEET THE MEDIC ON YOUTUBE!

Just open a new tab guys.

It´s glorious.

Dat crazy Medic.

My life... is complete! Meet the Medic was more than I can ever ask for! brb, dying in peace now.

OH FUCK.

IT'S BEAUTIFUL.

I can't describe how good MtM is. I just can't.

Oh god it was glorious. I anticipate much porn after this. So. Much. Porn.

any one else see miss Pauling watching the surgery?

Oh my goodness! THAT WAS DEFINITELY WORTH THE WAIT. The ending is awesome.

I left to go puke (ulcers suck, guys), and I come back to find this.

Oh my God, the tears of joy...

>>6290
Yep. Does that mean there's an official model?

I can't express how wonderfull this is!

YUP

THEY REMOVED DEMO'S PENIS HEAD IN THE BANNER

>>6307
Nice!
Notice how it's easier to take the spy's head off his body than to take the cigarette out of his mouth. And look, he even has an ashtray. Wtf is a Lock Ness Hamster?

"Why not replace Sniper's spine with a giant piece of sheet metal?"

...wtf?

>>6387
So he can't get backstabbed, of course!

:3

>>6403
Seems like staying up all night for MtM has made me slow :(

Meet the Medic was fantastic, however I've got to say the business end of the update- disappointing. We all knew we were getting the Quick Fix eventually, I was hoping for another Medigun- it didn't seem greedy at the time given Soldier ended up with two packs to his name, and the update isn't even about him. We told them repeatedly in the Beta the Overdose was a complete waste of time, and lo and behold they release it anyway. Really wonder why they bother.

Barnblitz seems like a pretty solid map, but...no Raid Mode Valve? I thought that was pretty much what I was watching in MtM. Also, no new lines for the Medic? You got Atkin Downes in after all this time and didn't think to get him to say more stuff for the game? Disappoint.

>>6511

I was hoping for more Medic lines too, wtf Valve? Maybe they will include them real soon, like maybe they just hadn't finished with them yet. Cause seriously, you do epic Meet the Medic and play up how much he loves 'practicing his medicine' on the field in a deliciously bloodthirsty fashion, and then DON'T give Medic a few new lines, especially domination lines?

As much as it disappointing to me I CAN'T be unhappy, all this is too wonderful. It doesn't rain on my medic parade. I'll just retain hopefulness I guess. Atkin Downes, dat voice...I need more.

Guys, don't you think this update had an influence on the balance of each classes??
Especially, heavy, scout and heavy. I think their new unlock weapones need to get nerfed but the problem is...Valve doesn't seem have a willing to do so.
I'm concerned about balance-breaker expensive items being on sale in not so far future.