My brain is....FUCKING HAPPY

What's that feeling when your stomach has curled itself up upon reading something completely awesome? Because I have that feeling now.

I seriously could feel my THROAT EFFING CONSTRICTING when I refreshed and saw this on the Blog. I HAVE SHIVERS. WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME.

I SHOULD NOT BE THIS EXCITED OVER A FREAKING VIDEOGAME UPDATE, AND YET I AM.

I hope to god I can make it until Thursday, because my heart is racing and I already have anxiety problems GALORE, luuul.

Loved Mobster Monday, by the way. No, wait. I LOVED EVERYTHING. EVER.

/fangasm

1.) It IS a "Meet the" short.
2.) It involves ONE of the two remaining classes.
3.) It's NOT the Pyro.
4.) It's the MEDIC.

>>5946

WHAT COULD THIS POSSIBLY MEAN?!!!!

We need our best decoders on this stat! I'll start counting the pixels in each letter and running them through random equations!

>>5946
LIFE IS WONDERFUL.

Alright guys, here we go.

I actually don't care for new items that are not for Medic because well, the new stuff is dull and not that important to test out. I prefer dull over gamebreaking or really annoying, though.

But Medic getting more shit, more attention and ESPECIALLY HIS OWN DAMN VIDEO

YES

Well it's about time! I am so excited for the Medic, hopefully Valve will not disappoint!

New weapons
Heavy illegal weapons time

Also spy. Dat gun

Artwork's page
Epic photos changes of demoman.
PYRO'S FACE (the old,of couse)

So wait, everyone is excited about an announcement we all knew was comin soon and the usual load of "HURR DURR FASTER BUT LESS DAMAGE" weapons? Jesus, am I the only one lookin at this and thinkin so far its a massive let down? Valve are gonna have to pull some cancer curing rabbit out the hat after this fuck up if ya ask me.

YES, we're getting Meet the Medic this week! Oh, this couldn't get any—

>Mobster Monday

...FUCK. YES. I don't even care if they end up being total crap, the fact that we finally have official gangster-themed items (especially ones for Heavy, my 2nd-most played class) is enough to make me happy.

I'm so happy right now.

No words, should of sent a poet.

http://www.teamfortress.com/classes.php?class=medic

these new pages are sexy

I came buckets. Buckets I tell you.

This is better than listening to the best music while high and having a whole plateful of delicious fruit in front of you and more awesome than scoring above 80 on a diploma exam and FUCKING STRAIGHT IT'S ABOUT DAMN TIME

I love love love the new layout!
All the artwork, comics, previous major updates all on a convenient tab layout

Ooh~ monsieur Medic~

TEAM FAGGOTS 2

1.) It IS a "Meet the" short.
2.) It involves ONE of the two remaining classes.
3.) It's NOT the Pyro.
4.) It's the MEDIC.

I...I lost myself. I will say that I screamed in pure, utter joy.

I wish Thursday would hurry the fuck up and get here already.

TREMBLING ENTHUSIASM
EXPOSED FLESH

So, so excited. Ridiculously excited. Really, inexplicably excited. I don't understand, but I love it.

Also bees.

>>5964
It's Bee CAVE, Valve! Keep your own canon straight, hahaha.

Sniper's concept art.

Oh god.

>>5954

"Jesus, am I the only one lookin at this and thinkin so far its a massive let down?"

Yeah, pretty much. Not saying your opinion is invalid or anything, but are honestly saying you can't see the huge amount of work Valve put into redesigning the website and giving us concept art and putting all the comics and other bonus things in neat, organized, easily accessible sections?

Triflin'. To be honest, I think there's just no way Valve could live up to your expectations or the hype the fandom was piling on in anticipation of the update as a whole. I was mega-hyped, too, but I'm looking at this, and I'm thinking, "Yeah. So far, this is everything I'd every wanted, AND THEN SOME."

>>5969
The skins are usually made by fans, a website like that can be knocked out easily now days. I had no hype, I take this with no hype in my mind, its just dull compared to what we got before.

>>5970
Well, if there's no convincing you otherwise, I guess that's that, but I'm still lovin' it. Could be that it's my first major update, though. (Not counting the Replay and Christmas ones.) I'm thinking this is up there with the WAR Update.

I can't believe how much concept art is here that I've never seen before. I thought I had sleuthed out the majority of this. It's like Christmas is July June.

>>5954
Hah hah, simmer down, sassafras, this is only the first day of a whole week of updates. If you don't like the new weapons there's nothing saying you have to use them! I don't like any of the weapons from the Shogun update, so I just don't use them. Easy peasy Japanesey.

We knew this was coming, but I'm excited because I'm always excited about updates, and also this will be the first Meet The video in over a year and a half! So let's take off our pouty pants and put on a smile and soldier on through the pain.

>>5961
Spy is clearly looking at Engineer, durr

>>5973
heavy and scout are exchanging glares too.

>>5961
>>5973
>>5974

TL;DR: They're all whores.

Is it wrong if this is the first thing I though of?

on each of the classes' pages, the background image is where their "meet the" video took place

i guess medic's will be in that hospital

Ooh, that new payload map. One of the level designers at work told me a friend of his had made this map as his design test for Valve, and that it had got him the job and would be added to the game.

That guy is so freaking lucky, lol.

>>5977
PFFFTHAHAHAHA!

>>5977
Oh my God. That is just too perfect.

>>5970
> its just dull compared to what we got before.

how are those nostalgia goggles treatin you? i had to take mine off, they were causing my inner-child to chafe.

fresh from Hipstr

>>5985
oh god why?!

If Medic commandeers an abandonded hospital to do crazyshit experiments, I WILL FLIP TABLES WITH MY SHEER JOY.

Dat tattoo!

>>5988

I see a Rod of Aaron.

>>5977
I think I laughed harder than I should have.

>>5977
(I don't get it, who's the guy on the right?)

>>5991
That's Brock. Y'know, from Pokemon.

I´m on work and just saw it and... don´t judge me guys, you all knew i couldn´t resist the temptation! YOU ALL KNEW! (Because in good old germany it´s already thursday. Oh and i have nothing productive to do now.) And well. To the new Update... I gleed in silence with hands flipping and so. You don´t know. YOU DON`T KNOW! As i saw the new weapons for Heavy i felt in love. I mean MOBSTER! MOBSTER! OH VALVE you meet it there by me. Heavy seond last class played by me... UNTIL NOW. Finally a hat for heavy i like.
(So if someone get´s dropped this thing wanna trade it against a Pyro Chief hat?)

Recaptcha: Works... yeah, yeah i get okay?!

>>5994
Ahaha. What did i wrote it´s thursday here? It´s TUESDAY. Seems like i need a big cup of coffe.
And yeah, the Saxton Comics. New canonfooder for me. Omnomnom. (A big black cup of coffee without sugar.)

>>5945
I KNOW THIS FEEL
I GIGGLED LIKE A MANIAC SO HARD I HAD TEARS IN MY EYES
IM A FREAK

>>5964
I like to think of this as Valve acknowledging Engibees!

YEEEESSSSS

YYEYEESYEYYSSSSSSS

I JUST WOKE UP AND SEE THIS

I LOVE EVERYONE

Life is indeed wonderful. Three more days of goodies and my two most played classes get a windfall on the first day...

Tomislav sounds like rapine; going to be a hell of a lot of dead Pyros on release day. Neither of the other two Heavy weapons sound much good, but I'm told the set bonus for using them all will be increased movement speed, which will at least make them viable.

Both of the new Spy weapons look unbelievably tasty. They seem custom made for the DR, which suits me just fine.

I really, really hope the rose comes with the ability to cast it onto an opponent's corpse.

Tomislav > The Big Earner > The Eviction Notice > The Enforcer >>>>> The Family Business (I've never run out of shotgun ammo anyway, so it's pointless to sacrifice damage)

>>6000
holy fuck someone saved that?
i drew it when i was drunk one time on /v/ hahaha

Oh my god. I love the new layout. Scout's main page background is now my desktop.

EVERYTHING IS BEAUTIFUL AND NOTHING HURTS.

>>5998
He was from Bee Cave originally, it wasn't something new they've added to please the fans, they just made a mistake on the page. It's fixed now.

So...new weapon, a new site design, a neat place with concept art and other stuff all in one, a new map, a free weekend of TF2, AND a Meet The Medic short?
IT'S LIKE FUCKING CHRISTMAS UP IN HERE.

>>6004

This update, in a nutshell.

My opinion on the update so far:
The new weapon's stats are extremely uncreative, but I'd rather have that than some new and gamechanging (and possibly gamebreaking) mechanic. With very few exceptions (such as medic secondary or engie primary) every class has so many different weapons to choose from for every slot that further complexity would damage the game rather than improving it.
That said, let's move on to the weapons themselves:
Tomislav could allow for some nasty stealth Heavy tactics with its fast, silent spinup, but stands no chance against already spun up Heavies with other Miniguns. I'm kinda tempted to check it out.
The Family Business won't see much use, since most players use the Sandvich anyway.
The Eviction Notice looks pretty badass, but outside medieval mode it's pretty worthless compared to GRU and FoS. But admittedly not quite as worthless as the Warrior Spirit.
The Enforcer is probably good for Dead Ringer Spies who haven't mastered the Ambassador yet.
The Big Earner looks like a mild version of the Kunai to me - less reward, but also less risk. Seems balanced to me.
The new site design is cool too. Needless to say, I'm also looking forward to Meet the Medic.

>>6009
I had to double check the name to make sure ye weren't Perry as you said that there. :P

>>6010
Haha, not my fault he often says what I think.

Yeah, my opinion on the weapons is pretty much the same. I'm a person of habit and as long as the new stuff isn't actually filling in some holes, I don't have much interest for it. I'm happy with my Heavy loadout and I never play Spy except for derpage, so ... yeah.

I'll keep my thrills for the REALLY interesting stuff. Seriously, guys, you posted so much stuff already about a bunch of weapons that someone else made? Come on, admit it, it's not about the weapons, it's about the REALLY REALLY good stuff that's about to come and oh yeah, I can't wait for that either. As said, I'll be shrugging here, keeping my popcorn bags closed until they announce the jewels.

So is it only free play for this week? Or if you get it now it's yours forever?

One of my friends wont shut up about the Commando.
Keeps saying "Oh my god I bet they release the Commando as the tenth class this week!"

And Im like "What?"
Someone clue me in on this? Ive seen the concept art on the website, and my friend keeps saying that the Commando would be "the Pyro's true counter!"

And any ideas on what other things they might release with this?

>>6011

See Valve, this is the kind of attitude you breed by lavishing this game with free stuff for four years. Remember when the Blutsauger and Ubersaw were first released? Were they interesting gameplay-wise? Not even slightly, but people went absolutely mental for Medic at the time. These days they can redesign their entire website, release previously unseen concept art and announce a new map, 5 new weapons and 3 new cosmetic items just on the first day and people will roll their eyes and go "C'mon Valve, are you even trying? Your handjob is a disgrace, put some effort into it for Chrissake."

Anybody excited and/or worried about how they claim this is going to be the biggest update ever? Mann-conomy added 5 weapon sets, dozens of hats, introduced usable tools and turned the game into a blood orgy of micro-transactions. What exactly do they have in mind that'd change TF2 more than that?

>>6016
The fabled Commando?

>>6016
They are finally getting rid of the FPS mechanics and keeping it solely a Hat based simulator?

Heavy and Spy's serial numbers on the Mobster set page correspond to the dates their respective shorts came out (well, at least how Americans write dates).

Thought it was a cool little detail.

the commando is warhammer as shit son

>>6014
All I can think of when I see that is the April Fools gag Anet did for Guild Wars.

>>6015
Sigh. I agreed with Chi, as mentioned, and the new site update is awesome and I adore the concept art, believe me. Just because I don't fangirl about this update so far doesn't mean I didn't like it, hm? New maps are awesome, concept art is awesome, I JUST said that the really good stuff is still about to come and that I won't flip my shit like some people here before that is up.

Is the new map out yet? No.
Are the announced Medic items out yet? No.
Is Meet the Medic out yet? No.

So please hold your breath before you call me unthankful. I simply don't praise the entire update before the creme de la creme is avaible yet.

UPDATE2: Persian Update.

Sniper's weapons looks good but it's from Tf2beta
Demoman's weapons looks very very good, especillay the Persian Persuader

I need this rifle in my life.

demomantakesskill.jpg

so... Sniper's a Shia Muslim then? White wrap, with black band is generally considered to be a claim as a descendent of Muhammad.

Am I the only one who is getting tired of Demo swords and shields? He's a gorram Demoman. Why doesn't he have more things that explode?

I am very excited about most of the other stuff though. The new rifle will be very interesting to see how good your team's sniper is. I expect a lot of whining from people who miss though.

This is better. the sniper I could give or take either way, but the demo? Oh this is gonna be fun. Charge and Targe + The Persian Persuader + Ali Baba's wee Booties = Invincible melee beasts swarming the map.

The Demo, on the other hand, has never even been to the beach
—but his empty eye cavity naturally accumulates moisture that drips down his head into his throat, making him the equivalent of a one-eyed cactus that swears.


>man cactus

god that word seems so....wrong

This update.
Thank you, Valve.

The only thing that could make this week better for me would be Pyro items.

Too bad I'm such a lousy sniper. I can't headshot anything moving (and half the things standing still). It'll be hell if I play with my Steam friend Phaeth on the other team.

>>6037
I doubt they put that much thought into it.

>>6038
Maybe they ran out of ideas for things that blow up? Maybe the general player population likes melee a lot? I dunno, I don't pay attention. You do make a good point though.

>>6042
It's possible, but there are plenty of explosive or, hell, corrosive, things that can be used, I'm sure.

What about proximity mines? standard frag grenades with shrapnel? Land mines? I'd personally like to see them do Nitro or Napalm. Napalm would be fucking sweet.

>>6044
Aye.
Napalm is Pyro's territory. Don't you be straying into Pyro's territory.

Does Valve remember what a Demoman is?

>>6045
Well, Heavy can do healing now, and Demo can heal himself. Spy can do headshots. Pyro can help engineers.

There's already plenty of class crossover. With some tweaking, say with a small or unpredictable explosion radius or pattern, it could be an interesting addition, I think.

>>6046
All they know is hats.

>desert people update
>includes demoman
>no bombs to be seen

Maybe they don't give him so much exploding things because they're afraid he'll get seriously OP in the hands of a pro player and that'd make everyone else rage. I'll go ahead and venture a guess that most of TF2's main audience are casuals and they're not going to do anything that could anger their main audience.

>>6049

>>6050

They don't add more explosive weapons because they a) are very difficult to balance, and b) explosive spam is obnoxious. So they try and come up with precision explosive weapons like the DH and LnL which reward careful aim; few people use them because spam is too advantageous to give up and people still complain about them because they are cheap against 125 classes.

You don't want the Demoman to have more explosive weapons; you want this new set to be successful and have lots of Demomen charging around in slippers. Trust me on this.

I had a good laugh at this update, the description had me sniggering within seconds. Oh Valve.

That is a lovekly Sniper rifle and I want it. Just to have it. And color me thankful it's not more explosive spam, even if Demoknight is getting a little old.

Also SNIPER AND DEMOMAN CONFIRMED FOR BFF HURR DURR. Ishtar: TF2 Edition, I wanna see the crazy desert adventures these two have.

I personally wish for more explosives for Demoman, but the items don't sound halfbad. Maybe FINALLY Demoknight will actually become a valuable role to the team?

Yeah we don't want a repeat of the nade spam issue of TFC

I want that Sniper rifle so bad. It's just screams "STEAMPUNK" which is a genre I like and design outfits and accessories for. Plus the new gun gives me an excuse to get back into playing Sniper again instead of being such a alpha medic.

>>6054
I just have to know: was that image shopped? If not, I fear for humanity.

>>6057
Why would it be shopped? It just looks like a little girl sitting on a stuff animal, probably irate at being made to sit still to have her picture taken. That's not so unusual or terrible.

>>6058
She looks like she can slice me in half by just blinking is all. I'm thinking she's going to rule the world some day. No, really.

>>6049

http://www.teamfortress.com/uberupdate/scoutpack.html

ITS FINALLY OFFICIAL

>>6068
I came.

>>6068
>triple jump