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I about facepalmed myself when Soldier decided to do awkward gentle touching in the bathroom while Sniper is taking a shower of all things.

I kind of agree on IBrotato on what he/she said. The accent is there, but ease up on the apostrophes just a little. But overall everything is fantastic!

And no worries about updating, if you're practicing writing faster, have at it!

]]> http://tf2chan.net/afanfic/res/11318.html#11329 For the teammates, I personally find the Engineer and Demoman hard to read, perhaps because of the apostrophes?

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Please finish this story. If it's others that bother you, please post it elsewhere as I would love to continue reading it. Hell, even sending more to me would be okay (I swear I'm not a creepy fetish-ist).

I understand everyone's opinions here but some people genuinely like your writing/ideas. Every time this thread bumps and I don't see another part of your story, just more debate over the content, it makes me a little sad. You have a lot of talent, and I genuinely like where you're going with this, even if it really is more than a little dark. Fiction is fiction, nothing more, regardless of your intentions.

Please update soon, I really want to know what happens next!

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I tried formatting the quotations. I think I did it right, otherwise remind me again. (I am slow, slooow)

Any advice, comments or opinions are always welcome! Thank you for reading!

Thistle Weed (part 2)


You would be surprised by how often it actually rained in the desert and when it rained it rained. The water turned the sand into a mucky mess and the lonesome sniper had to retreat to the base. Everyone seemed to naturally calm down from the bad weather and even if he wouldn’t admit it, it was nice to meet the teammates. Pyro and demoman were preparing dinner and from the looks of it, waffles. The heavy kept insisting on talking to the half-asleep German doctor who was leaning on the team’s scout that didn’t seem to mind. Waving vigorously the scout was busy discussing with the spy that politely listened with a freshly lit cigarette in his hand.

In the soldier’s room, in front of an old dusty mirror with a white sink, almost turned yellow, the soldier stood. Shaving off the morning stubble the soldier seemed pepped for the new day. “Soldier, today is a new day! Today we shall undertake a mission of great importance!” He finished shaving and begun washing up. He dried his face with a rather worn cloth. “DISMISSED!” With a firm hand he put the helmet on his head and saluted Rover the teddy bear.

The dining slash living room smelled like freshly made waffles. The sniper was setting the table while the demoman and pyro still made waffles. After glancing over the sleeping medic leaning on scout, the talking youngest and their spy, the soldier quickly decided to approach the cooking duo.

“Go’d m’rning, solly!” The scot greeted with a smile followed by a happy muffle from the pyro. “H’w ar’ things?”

Nervously fiddling with his fingers the soldier blurted out. “How do you approach a person of interest!?”

The demo massaged his beard and answered with a self-confident smile. “E’sy of cours’ , y’u just appro’ch h’r head-on!” The pyro disagreed.

With inaudible muffles the pyro tried to demonstrate by gently stroking the scots cheek. The demoman explained. “He tri’s to tell y’u to be gentle.” The pyro continued with some more muffled noises and the scot translated. “Try mak’ small gentle touch’s. A pat on th’ should’r, a strok’ on th’ cheek.” With a happy noise the pyro made a thumb up. The scot snorted and waved at him. “Ay still think y’u sho’d go head-on!”

The soldier pondered their advice as the team sat down for breakfast. He was lodged by the end of the table with the scout hanging on his right shoulder. The runner was a rather physical person, he liked touching and grabbing onto people, probably not so weird when you grew up with eight brothers in a tiny house. He meant no harm so no one paid it any mind.

The breakfast went down quickly and as the soldier left the dining room the demo called from the washing station. “Head-on!” As the pyro retorted with a muffled. “Gientool taowwchss!” which probably translated as ‘gentle touches.’

Muck and dust all over him from waking up in the nest. The sniper sighted. He usually didn’t sleep in the nest because of the cold at night. But last evening he accidently fell asleep in his chair and woke up by the rain. He had plenty of clothes to put on but he felt all mucky.

Getting into the teams shower he undressed by the lockers and benches. Then he climbed into the white clinker washroom into the nearest washing boot. The water felt fresh on his skin. He inhaled softly and let the cool water rinse through his hair and down his soar body. With a gentle hand he massaged his gunning shoulder and drifted off into a mind of peace. The door to the shower room opened but he paid it no mind.

Rattle from battle gear and clothing sounded from the lockers and a shower stall was opened and closed. The sniper still paid it no mind until he opened his eyes to stare directly into the soldier’s. He jumped five feet and instinctively covered his private parts. “Wh’t the bloody hell do you think you’re doing!?”

The soldier had caught a glimpse of the sniper sliding into the washing room and found it as a perfect moment to engage contact. He quickly followed and could hear a washing boot running. With nervous eagerness the American quickly stripped himself of his gear and clothing, everything except the helmet, and entered the stall.

With soft movements the sniper was caressing his muscular chest, running a hand through the bundle of thick, black hair there. His other hand was slightly massaging his neck and shoulder. He watched the sniper for a moment when he suddenly noticed him. In a startled rage the gunman yelled at him and covered himself.

Soldier cleared his throat and took a step forward towards the sniper, who naturally took a step back and ended up with his rump against the tile wall. The soldier gently stroked the snipers arm who tensed up considerable from the touch. He murmured something to the bushman.

The Australian stared at him and angrily asked. “Why ar’ you still her’!?” Rather roughly the soldier patted the gunman on the cheek and avoided looking into his unbelieving, intense stare. He then exited the stall and went to get dress.

Demoman and pyro’s advice didn’t do as well as medic’s … I have to ask someone else. He murmured to himself. He left the chocked sniper in the washroom and left to the Texan, who he hadn’t seen at breakfast.

Messing around with a dispenser he found the engineer at his workshop. All around him laid strange mechanics and blueprints. In one of the corners under a pile of rubble sat the engi’s bed.

The Texan was wearing his goggles and carefully picking around in the machine, he nodded to the soldier. “I HAVE GAINED FEELINGS FOR AN IDIVIDUAL!” The Soldier blurted out in one breath to the Texan.

Pausing his work, the engineer removed his goggles reveling a mask clean from dirt around his eyes. “Wel’ that is qui’e somethin’ that. What you ne’d me for?” He asked the soldier.

The soldier leaned in like he was going to tell an earth threating secret. “I … don’t know how to go from here …” He whispered in the engi’s ear.

With a firm grip the engineer scratched his chin and humbly said. “W’y don’t y’u try ta’king to him or h’r. Ask abo’t the’r int’rests.” The soldier lit up.

He thanked the Texan and hurried away to look around the base for the sniper. Besides he wasn’t there. Eventfully the soldier gave up and returned to the kitchen, he was signed up for dinner duty. He looked at the menu for the day. ‘Beef stew’, one of the soldier’s specialties. He stopped thinking about the sniper, put on his most manly, pink apron and begun preparing for dinner when a sudden movement caught his eye. The sniper was also putting on a most manly, pink apron besides him. Surprised the American checked the menu and confirmed that yes, the bushman was indeed his partner for the day. A creepish smile moved onto his lips as this was the perfect opportunity to test the Texan’s advice.

With the smile still clued on his lips he turned to the sniper who unwilling felt a shiver across his spine.

]]> http://tf2chan.net/afanfic/res/11307.html#11326 >>7

I don't think anything else has ever caused me to smile quite as creepily as I am now.

]]> http://tf2chan.net/afanfic/res/11307.html#11325 >>7

Yes.
Ooooh yes.

]]> http://tf2chan.net/afanfic/res/11318.html#11324
I’d say to work on formatting the quotations. Every quotation give it a separate paragraph.

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Also, I re-read again because I liked it and noticed you ARE continuing the story, so I apologize for being a little thick. Another, do it at your own time! No rush here and there are other requests waiting in line next, so I will be waiting eagerly and reading while at it.

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I love how awkward Soldier can be when faced with something other than war related. It perfectly describes what he could be, but possibly what we don't see either trying to get some emotion besides being the soldier he is.

Sniper, I perceive, is like how you made him or anyone that would be in the same situation. But he seemed relax for the most part besides being annoyed out of his piece, and then he became confused which I'm pretty sure a lot of people would be if they got something as must as a weed for 'flowers'.

This was very entertaining and I highly enjoyed it. I'm not expecting anything more, so I will leave the rest of my imagination of how the other team could help out, Sniper trying to figure out Soldier, and eventually the kiss and make up if any...maybe sexy times, but I'll leave that alone.

Thank you so much for writing this!!!

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]]> http://tf2chan.net/afanfic/res/11318.html#11319 Hey, funfact! When I was done with this I fell asleep (I was writing it just after waking up, in bed)And the laptop fell from my knees and bumped me in the head, waking me up. Well I found that funny at least ...

Thistle Weed (Part 1)
By: Atramentumpen


A rising sun over the horizon, warmth radiating from the hot desert sand and not a single sign of civilization as far as the eye could see. With a steady sunburned hand the bushman grabbed his nearby coffee mug and took a sip. This is heaven. “Ey, koala snuggler! It’s time for our daily chit-chat in the living room!” The rather unwanted calling from the RED teams young Scout woke the sniper from his daydreaming. He sighted and sat down his coffee mug on a nearby crate. His hideout was perhaps not close to the teams base, but not too far either, or at least if you ask the Sniper. Sure, he liked all his teammates in different ways but just being around them during battle was aging him, being around them after battle was murder.

“Hey, hurry up! I am not going to wait just ‘cus you’re an old fart! Hurry!” The Scout called from under his nest. With much less grace than he would in his early years the Australian gunman climbed down the ladder.

The inside of the RED base was the same as always and even if he had never seen the inner rooms, probably as the BLU base. “People, alri’t then. Let’s get to business! Soldier?” The friendly, chubby Texan gave the word to their big, compact, muscle package of a soldier.

“LISTEN HERE YOU INBREED MAGGOTS FOR MEN!” Everyone jumped in their seats with the soldier continuing in an ear shattering tone. “WE HAVE A TWO WEEK LEAVE FROM BATTLE!” Spy and demoman exchanged relived looks as scout gave some cocky remark to the medic about being old and needing it. Their gleeful taunting and chatting was silenced by the burly Americans continued roaring. "DO NOT THINK YOU WILL BE ALLOWED TO GET SOFT ON MY WATCH! I DEMAND DAILY WORKOUTS FROM ALL OF YOU!” The pyro complained under his muffling mask but the soldier simply ignored him. “NO NEED TO OBJECT! MEDIC, I NEED TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT PERSONAL ISSUES! I WILL MEET YOU IN YOUR OFFICE LATER!” Startled from being spoken to directly the medic weakly nodded. “SOLDIERS, YOU ARE DISMISSED!” The soldier roared and everyone scurried away from the living room.

Playing poker and drinking cheap whisky was enough to calm the scot and the Frenchman. Sniper instantly returned to his hideout while the scout decided to take some laps around the base. Sitting still for too long wasn’t his style. Engineer and heavy went to the Texans workshop to work on Sasha with the pyro happily following.

With cold, sterile walls and numerous cabinets filled with different bottles and tubes the infirmary sat almost silent. In one corner a newly made bed laid ready while in another the medic was carefully cleaning his equipment at his desk. The door suddenly slammed open. With a startled expression the medic greeted the soldier. Mud from the American’s boots fell on the newly cleaned floor. “MEDIC, SIR, MISTER!” The soldier barked. With a shaky smile medic waved at him. “I HAVE A PERSONAL ISSUE I NEED ADDRESSING!” The medic cleared his throat and said. “You don’t need to yell. T’is is not a roundup of the mercenaries.” “Yes, affirmative.” The soldier sat down across the desk and seemed to become much more nervous, though it was hard to tell from under the helmet.

The medic sat down a cleaned pair of scissors and tried to look into the soldiers eyes, he looked away. “Soldier, ‘z there something you need to tell me?” He asked him. The soldier seemed to regain his confident. In one breath he blurted out in his normal voice. “I’VE GAINED FEELINGS FOR A INDIVIDUAL!” The medic simply blinked at the soldier and asked. “Well t’is can be a good thing. Why do you need my help?” With an awkward whisper the soldier, embarrassed, answered. “I … I do not know how to go from here…”

Getting up to pacing back and forth medic pondered the soldier’s trouble. “Well, I’ve had my fair share of ladies in my life. What kind of woman h’z gotten your interest?” He asked the soldier that nervously answered. “A …” He thought about his answer for a moment. “… uncut diamond.”

The medic hummed in thought. “Never heard of … either way! I know a sure way to get your woman.” With less anguish the soldier lit up. “You do?” Medic continued. “All women love romance! Simple … but yet affective.” “Simple .. but effective …” The soldier repeated. “Give her a flower. That should do the trick. Simple, yet effective.”

He strode over to the infirmary door and opened for the American who deeply in thought strutted out. “Remember.” He once again reminded. “Simple, but effective!” He shut the door behind the soldier and returned to cleaning his desk. Uncut diamond, baah, what kind of woman can be an uncut diamond. He muttered to himself.

The warming light was beginning to disappear with the setting sun. A slight breeze rustled through the dry, desert plants and everything was deathly silent. With his feet up on a nearby crate and hot, fresh coffee in his cup the sniper looked out on all this. Paradise. Heavy knocking on the hideouts hatch disturbed the snipers tranquility. Oh for bloody fu- “Who is it!?” He barked. He was surprised when hearing the strange, yet all familiar voice of their soldier. He asked if he could come up. The sniper muttered. “Yeah, sur’ come on up!”

Rather clumsily the soldier climbed up from the hatch into the rather austere hideout. The floorboards creaked from being worn and the only furniture in the room was the rickety chair the sniper sat on and a few old, dusty crates. With slight wonder the sniper flashed a pair of sharp, green eyes at the soldier who blushed in a rather unorthodox way. The soldier who usually was self-confident and probably half-mad had suddenly lost his voice which made the painful silence even more unbearable.

“So …” The sniper thrummed his fingers across the coffee mug. “How ar’ things?” “I HAVE SOMETHING FOR YOU!” Soldier suddenly roared that made the gunman almost loose his balance. “Oh..ah, do you?” The sniper asked rather surprised while ogling the coffee he spilled on his vest. The soldier suddenly lost his confidence again and muttered something the sniper couldn’t make out. He suddenly stretched out a bundle of grass to the sniper who instinctively took it. On a close examination it seemed to be a thistle weed. “Um … thank you?” The sniper said, more confused than ever. With a murmured goodbye the soldier dashed out of the hideout leaving a befuddled sniper behind.

As the American returned to the base he radiated from pride. He had fulfilled his mission with outmost success. He walked into his chambers to get ready for bed, where he shaved, put on his pajamas with the American flag and slid down into bed with his outmost manly teddybear, Rover. His trademark helmet stayed on even in bed as he drifted off into sleep with a satisfied smile on his lips. Medic’s advice worked, I should ask the other soldiers for advice … Was his last thought as he drifted off into a dream of bravery in warfare, epic explosion and sharp, green eyes.

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English is not my native language, I'm actually Swedish so there might be some weird sentences and wording. You are more than welcome to correct any mistakes just remember I am very slow. Very, very slow! So I might do the same mistakes a hundred times before it sinks in.

]]> http://tf2chan.net/afanfic/res/11307.html#11317 I must draw this.
Thank-you Hybrid for your genius and excellent sense of humor.

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Only one request. Does ANYBODY have the Healiebees fic?
Polite Necrobump of only 15 days.

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